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From soldier to Street preacher.

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The Autobiography of Robert Flockhart.

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Audiobook produced by Scroll reader.com.

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Originally published in 1858.

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Preface by Thomas Guthrie.

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In the late summer of 1857,

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just before the leaves began to fall.

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The fields around Edinburgh,

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at the base of the Pentland Hills

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and along the shores of the Firth of Forth,

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were bustling with activity.

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Harvesters wielded their sickles as the fields,

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ripe and ready for harvest, shimmered in the sunlight.

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It was during this time of abundant harvest

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that Robert Flockhart,

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the person

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both chronicled and featured in this account,

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passed away,

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likened to a sheaf of corn reaped in its prime

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on the morning of the day

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that proved to be his last upon earth.

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I received a letter informing me that he was dying,

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and that he had expressed a wish to see me.

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I hastened to his house in Richmond place,

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knowing that his wife was dead,

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and that he had no child to nurse him in his old age.

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I feared that I should find him,

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but poorly attended to.

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But his master had provided

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kind friends for the old man's comfort.

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The small apartment in which he dwelt,

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and whose walls,

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if I may say so,

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he had sanctified by so many prayers,

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was clean and tidy.

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And I found a young man and woman watching over him,

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and ministering to his ones with filial affection.

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Upon stepping into the apartment,

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I was immediately captivated by his appearance.

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He lay there, his head gently supported for easier

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breathing, resting upon a pristine white pillow

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despite the hint of death in his eyes

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and the drawn features of his face.

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There was a certain luminosity to his countenance,

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as if a subtle radiance emanated from within.

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I have seen many dying,

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but none whose face wore an air so heavenly

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it looked as if light was streaming on it.

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Down from those gates of glory.

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That angel hands were rolling open

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to admit his departing spirit.

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They told him that I had arrived,

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struggling to reach out, his hand

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burning with fever as he rapidly

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approached the end of his earthly journey.

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He managed to say in a quiet whisper,

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using his own warm and familiar manner,

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oh, my friend, I'm so pleased to see you.

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Perhaps I should have congratulated him

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as one who had been a good soldier of Jesus Christ,

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and had, through grace,

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fought the battle

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well that his fight was so nearly done in the crown,

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so nearly one,

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but having a great regard for him,

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and great admiration of the large

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and loving heart of the self-denying, devoted nurse,

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and of the true Christian heroism

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with which he had served our common master.

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I could not help thinking

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more of our loss than of his gain,

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and saying that I was sorry to see him laid so low.

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It would be difficult to convey to the reader

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any adequate

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idea of the delight

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expressed in the look and the tone,

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with which he quickly replied, I'm going home,

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I'm going home.

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The moment was profoundly impactful,

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akin to the power of a thousand sermons.

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It stirred within even the most indifferent observer,

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a deep desire to share in the peace

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of a righteous person's final moments.

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I noticed his eagerness to share something with me,

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but his voice had weakened to a mere whisper.

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His words unclear and difficult to understand.

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Despite my efforts to listen closely,

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the only phrases I could

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discern were faint mentions of you in life.

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One of his caregivers later

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clarified that he wanted to entrust me

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with his autobiography,

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hoping I would take responsibility for it.

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Upon my agreement, a look of deep contentment

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briefly illuminated his face

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with a grateful squeeze of my hand.

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He expressed his thanks,

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as well as his fading strength aloud.

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Having joined together in prayer,

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or rather in praise and thanksgiving,

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we parted in the hope of meeting in a better world,

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and in a very few hours afterwards the master

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he had loved so well and served so long, said,

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come up hither.

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In the following memoir,

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the reader will find the best portrait

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of the heart and soul of this remarkable man.

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Robert Flockhart had been a great sinner,

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and he who in other days

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had changed

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the bitterest persecutor of the church

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into its noblest preacher,

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had changed him into a great saint.

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He had sinned much, had been forgiven much,

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and so he loved much.

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He had often exposed himself to disgrace, danger,

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and death itself in Satan's service.

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And if there had been need for it,

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I believe there was no man in Edinburgh

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who would have gone to the stake or scaffold

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for Jesus Christ,

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with a firmer step

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or nobler

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bearing than this brave old soldier of the cross.

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He combined deep devotion, unwavering zeal,

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and fearless courage, never faltering.

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Whether he was summoned

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as a soldier to battle the French at Port Louis

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or to confront

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mocking crowds as a street preacher in the High Street

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or West port of Edinburgh

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in defense of Christ and God's truth.

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Regarding his physical appearance,

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it could be likened to that of Paul.

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Often perceived as unimpressive,

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he was a man of short stature,

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with a distinctive shuffle in his walk,

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slender and build, and possessed a captivating gaze,

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yet his face was remarkably expressive,

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acting like a mirror to the emotions

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and thoughts stirring within him.

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Every feeling that touched

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his soul was vividly reflected on his countenance.

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He was naturally gifted

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in the art of expressive gestures

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characteristic of a born order.

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His acute sensitivity

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and the ease with which he was moved

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endowed him with a profound ability

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to touch the hearts of others.

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It's fair to say that there were moments

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when his intense emotions pushed him

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past the limits of propriety.

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Consider the defense a Highland minister

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once made for his community's flaws,

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which the witty wasn't particularly sound.

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He suggested their faults were merely extensions

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of their virtues.

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For instance, their bravery made them prone to brawls.

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Their politeness

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led them to stretch the truth

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in their quest to please,

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and their hospitality

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sometimes resulted in overindulgence

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with greater fairness.

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I may assert that Robert Flockhart

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shortcomings were the result

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of an abundance of commendable qualities.

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His fervor in the cause of religion

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sometimes led to excess.

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His vivid imagination, though dedicated to God,

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occasionally veered from the sublime to the ridiculous

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and possessing.

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Like many other

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individuals of genuine

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genius, a keen appreciation for the absurd,

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he occasionally indulged his humor in situations

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where restraint would have been more appropriate.

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Many stories of sharp responses and unique comments

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are associated with Flockhart,

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similar to those linked to Roland Hill and others,

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which may be more legend than fact.

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Yet, to the extent these tales reflect reality,

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it's important to remember

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the severe and challenging heckles

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he often faced as a street preacher.

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Furthermore, it's

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commendable that he was always quick

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to recognize his own shortcomings, openly admitting,

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I know that I sometimes say what I should not.

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The autobiography was transcribed at different times

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and by different individuals,

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with any financial proceeds

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designated for the Indian mission.

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As per Robert Flockhart wish.

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He desired this because it was in India

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where he felt God's calling

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and underwent his conversion.

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It took some effort to organize and refine it,

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but the editor made sure to maintain its essence

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and authenticity,

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presenting it to the church

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and the world

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as it was given to him, with minimal alterations.

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He leaves Robert to speak for himself, but while

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admiring the zeal, powers and piety of a man

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who has in so many things set us an example

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that we should follow him even as he followed Christ.

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The editor is not to be understood

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as approving of everything that he either said or did.

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Lastly,

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I should state,

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in fairness to the memory

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of two admirable individuals who,

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as portrayed in the memoir,

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seem to have treated Flockhart harshly.

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It must be acknowledged that in an era

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when street

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preaching was uncommon,

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and given their limited understanding

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of Robert's unique temperament,

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Doctor Stewart and the Reverend

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Christopher Anderson likely perceived him

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as mentally unstable,

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perhaps akin to someone

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who couldn't claim as Paul did.

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I am not mad. Most noble Festus,

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Edinburgh, March 31st, 1858

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Thomas Guthrie.

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Chapter one

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Before the Army the Journey of Sin and Providence.

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After repeated entreaties

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by a beloved brother in the Lord,

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I sat down to write an account of my life

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before I died, that

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the dealings of God's providence

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and grace

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might not be buried with me,

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but be useful to many after I was gone.

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Having entered into the 65th year of my age,

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I became uneasy in my mind at not leaving behind me

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a record of what the Lord had done for my soul,

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that it might be the means of encouraging sinners

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and be profitable to his own people.

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I felt very backward to begin, but having begun,

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I will persevere.

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If the Lord is pleased to spare me.

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I have begun with prayer to the Lord

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that he would bring to my remembrance

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what I may have forgotten.

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May the Lord grant that I may do all with a single eye

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to his glory, and from a sense of his love to me.

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May I be enabled to show my love to him

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by using every means in my power,

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agreeably to His Word, to bring souls to him

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not only while I live, but after I am dead.

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My father was born in Leith.

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His parents passed away when he was young.

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He was admitted into the West

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Church workhouse and raised there

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until he was ready for a trade.

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He was then taken out an apprentice

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to the craft of nail

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making in the countryside

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between Edinburgh and Glasgow.

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After completing his apprenticeship, he came to work

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in Edinburgh,

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where he married a servant who later became my mother.

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My father was approximately 23 years old at that time

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and my mother was 18.

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Sometime later

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they moved to down the tower ten miles from Glasgow,

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where I was born, before my mother turned 19.

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00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:01,701
Down there was a factory for nailers

275
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,536
and smiths of various kinds,

276
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,504
employed by Gillis and Company,

277
00:10:05,504 --> 00:10:08,407
who exported their products abroad at that time.

278
00:10:08,407 --> 00:10:11,143
During that era it could rightfully be described

279
00:10:11,143 --> 00:10:12,912
as another Sodom.

280
00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:15,481
There were about 100 families in the area,

281
00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:18,718
and none of them had a sense of reverence for God

282
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:19,652
in dal Natur.

283
00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:23,222
On the 4th of February, 1778, around 3:30

284
00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:26,559
in the morning, I, Robert Flockhart, was born.

285
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:27,526
Soon after this

286
00:10:27,526 --> 00:10:28,995
my parents returned to Edinburgh,

287
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:31,297
where we stayed until I was ten years old.

288
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,633
I began attending school at the age of five

289
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,302
under the instruction of Joseph Robertson,

290
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,371
who later became a minister.

291
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:40,906
I continued at his school for about five years

292
00:10:40,906 --> 00:10:43,843
until my parents moved back to down at Are There.

293
00:10:43,843 --> 00:10:46,579
I served a seven year apprenticeship in nail making.

294
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,682
It was a wretched environment for raising children.

295
00:10:49,682 --> 00:10:50,282
I witnessed

296
00:10:50,282 --> 00:10:53,619
no religion or godly behavior during my time there.

297
00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:54,854
My father insisted

298
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:56,088
that his children memorize

299
00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:58,224
the Mothers and Shorter Catechisms,

300
00:10:58,224 --> 00:10:59,158
which constituted

301
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,893
the extent of my religious education

302
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:02,228
while I was with them.

303
00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:03,929
However, there was no explanation

304
00:11:03,929 --> 00:11:05,364
provided for what I learned,

305
00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:08,100
nor were any good examples set before me.

306
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,402
We later moved to Greenock

307
00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:10,036
and stayed there

308
00:11:10,036 --> 00:11:11,003
for nearly a year,

309
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,338
still living without God

310
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:14,073
and without hope in the world.

311
00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:15,574
Those who live in such a manner

312
00:11:15,574 --> 00:11:17,910
will only wax worse and worse.

313
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:19,912
This was certainly true in my case

314
00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:22,281
during the time my parents stayed in Greenock.

315
00:11:22,281 --> 00:11:24,417
I left and began working in Irvine

316
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,185
where I stayed for a month.

317
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:26,919
From Irvine

318
00:11:26,919 --> 00:11:29,522
I moved to Kilmarnock where I worked for a fortnight,

319
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,557
continuing my trade in both places

320
00:11:31,557 --> 00:11:34,860
until my mother came from Greenock to take me home.

321
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:37,463
We then went to work in Glasgow, but I soon

322
00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:39,331
enlisted in the brutal bone Sensibles

323
00:11:39,331 --> 00:11:41,434
who were stationed in Glasgow and Edinburgh.

324
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:42,802
At that time,

325
00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:45,438
however, as I was below the required height,

326
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:47,373
being only five feet three inches,

327
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:48,841
they wouldn't accept me.

328
00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:50,976
After being rejected by the festivals,

329
00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:53,212
I went to Leith where I worked briefly,

330
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:54,880
but I wasn't content with the trade.

331
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,649
I had apprenticed in.

332
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:59,351
I sought advice from an old soldier who suggested

333
00:11:59,351 --> 00:12:01,320
I enlist in a regular regiment.

334
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:04,423
He said if I behaved myself, I could do well.

335
00:12:04,423 --> 00:12:07,259
So in the year 1797, around the time

336
00:12:07,259 --> 00:12:10,229
soldiers pay increased from sixpence to a shilling,

337
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,897
I enlisted with a recruiting party

338
00:12:11,897 --> 00:12:13,699
for a regular regiment.

339
00:12:13,699 --> 00:12:15,000
I embarked at New Haven

340
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,936
with other recruits, bound for Gravesend,

341
00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:19,071
from where we marched to Chatham.

342
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:20,973
The journey from Newhaven to Gravesend

343
00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:22,608
took a fortnight, during

344
00:12:22,608 --> 00:12:24,710
which we encountered very stormy weather.

345
00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:26,479
Fearing for our lives,

346
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,715
my bed was either on a coil of ropes or the deck,

347
00:12:29,715 --> 00:12:31,650
and I don't recall taking off my clothes

348
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:32,952
throughout the voyage.

349
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,353
Upon arriving in Chatham,

350
00:12:34,353 --> 00:12:35,821
we were assigned to a barrack room

351
00:12:35,821 --> 00:12:37,123
where I encountered characters

352
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:39,325
unlike any I had seen before.

353
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:42,962
Swearing, drinking, quarreling, and fighting

354
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:44,430
were commonplace.

355
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:48,200
The 81st Regiment to which I was assigned had returned

356
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,468
from the West Indies,

357
00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:51,737
significantly depleted by disease

358
00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:53,139
in the harsh climate.

359
00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:54,440
Recruits like myself

360
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,642
were enlisted to replenish their numbers.

361
00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:58,110
After completing our numbers,

362
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,846
we sailed for Guernsey in two transports

363
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:01,981
with a journey

364
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:04,517
lasting six weeks for the ship I was on.

365
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:05,818
The regiment consisted

366
00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:08,120
mostly of English and Irish soldiers,

367
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:11,390
with few Scots like myself being Scottish.

368
00:13:11,390 --> 00:13:13,058
I became the subject of mockery

369
00:13:13,058 --> 00:13:15,227
whenever I spoke my native tongue.

370
00:13:15,227 --> 00:13:16,729
During the voyage to Guernsey,

371
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:17,363
a sergeant

372
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:19,465
ordered me to do something I didn't like,

373
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:22,034
and as a young soldier I refused.

374
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:24,970
In response, he beat me severely with a cane,

375
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:27,907
leaving marks on my body for days afterward.

376
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:30,943
Although I resented it at the time, I later realized

377
00:13:30,943 --> 00:13:31,811
it toughened me

378
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,213
and likely spared me from worse punishment.

379
00:13:34,213 --> 00:13:35,581
Throughout my time in the Army,

380
00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:37,483
I never received a flogging.

381
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,919
A rarity among young soldiers.

382
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:42,621
Discipline was strict upon our arrival in Guernsey,

383
00:13:42,621 --> 00:13:44,957
with floggings occurring almost daily

384
00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:46,358
due to the prevalence of cheap

385
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:48,861
gin leading to unruly behavior.

386
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:49,862
During my service,

387
00:13:49,862 --> 00:13:52,264
I fell ill with ague and then fever.

388
00:13:52,264 --> 00:13:54,667
After being kept in the cold for an extended period

389
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:55,935
while on duty.

390
00:13:55,935 --> 00:13:57,903
Sent to the hospital upon arrival.

391
00:13:57,903 --> 00:13:59,538
I encountered an Irish recruit

392
00:13:59,538 --> 00:14:00,573
who asked for the time

393
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:03,042
and then stole my watch when I showed it to him,

394
00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:05,611
too unwell to confront him.

395
00:14:05,611 --> 00:14:07,646
I waited until I recovered and demanded

396
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:08,781
its return,

397
00:14:08,781 --> 00:14:11,884
threatening to report him if he didn't comply.

398
00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:14,987
That night, he stole a watch from another Irishman,

399
00:14:14,987 --> 00:14:18,390
leading to his discovery and punishment for theft.

400
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:19,959
This event eventually resulted

401
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,794
in the return of my watch.

402
00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:22,928
This incident marked

403
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:25,197
the beginning of my military service,

404
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:26,498
and although I could recount

405
00:14:26,498 --> 00:14:28,100
numerous hardships endured

406
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:29,768
during my 18 years in the Army

407
00:14:29,768 --> 00:14:31,270
and since leaving it,

408
00:14:31,270 --> 00:14:33,939
I will limit myself to a few anecdotes.

409
00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:35,341
During our time in Guernsey,

410
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:37,376
which lasted almost 12 months.

411
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:39,578
We were constantly on driller duty,

412
00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:42,114
expecting a French invasion every night.

413
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:42,848
To prepare,

414
00:14:42,848 --> 00:14:43,282
we set up

415
00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:46,552
beacons made of dry winds on prominent locations,

416
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:50,089
each with a sentinel task to ignite it upon any alarm,

417
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,490
signaling the inhabitants

418
00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:53,893
to prepare for an enemy attack.

419
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,862
Fortunately, no landing attempts were made.

420
00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:57,429
As the year

421
00:14:57,429 --> 00:14:58,264
neared its end,

422
00:14:58,264 --> 00:15:01,233
we received orders to sail to the Cape of Good Hope.

423
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:03,802
We boarded a large ship called the Coromandel,

424
00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:05,604
previously a 74 gun ship

425
00:15:05,604 --> 00:15:07,940
but now converted into a transport.

426
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:10,876
Shortly after departing, the Coromandel struck a rock

427
00:15:10,876 --> 00:15:11,911
before being assisted

428
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,580
by surrounding boats to regain mobility.

429
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:16,115
Apart from this mishap,

430
00:15:16,115 --> 00:15:19,652
the voyage proceeded smoothly until we reached spit.

431
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:22,187
Unlike our previous journey from Chatham to Guernsey,

432
00:15:22,187 --> 00:15:23,923
which took six weeks,

433
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:26,158
the voyage from Guernsey to Spearhead

434
00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:27,960
only lasted two days.

435
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:28,794
At spearhead,

436
00:15:28,794 --> 00:15:31,330
our regiment was distributed among different ships

437
00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:33,132
heading to the Cape of Good Hope.

438
00:15:33,132 --> 00:15:37,369
A considerable fleet of merchant vessels totaling 106

439
00:15:37,369 --> 00:15:40,839
sailed alongside us, guarded by a 98 gun ship

440
00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:44,310
and two frigates, to deter possible French assaults.

441
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:45,811
Whenever an unknown vessel

442
00:15:45,811 --> 00:15:47,680
appeared, the commodore would signal

443
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,715
one of the frigates to investigate.

444
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:51,450
Thankfully, we encountered

445
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,585
no enemies during the voyage.

446
00:15:53,585 --> 00:15:55,587
The care demonstrated by the Commodore

447
00:15:55,587 --> 00:15:57,756
for the convoy was remarkable.

448
00:15:57,756 --> 00:16:00,225
He ensured the vessels stayed together,

449
00:16:00,225 --> 00:16:01,427
especially at night,

450
00:16:01,427 --> 00:16:04,997
using Skyros and blue lights to maintain cohesion

451
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,398
in the face of danger.

452
00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:08,534
He would defend the convoy fiercely,

453
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:10,402
refusing to allow any ship

454
00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:12,571
to be captured under his watch.

455
00:16:12,571 --> 00:16:15,107
This vigilant care reminded me of Jesus Christ

456
00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:16,742
protection over his church,

457
00:16:16,742 --> 00:16:19,144
ensuring its safety day and night.

458
00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:21,947
Just as the Commodore safeguarded the convoy.

459
00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:25,317
Jesus promises eternal security to his followers,

460
00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:28,487
ensuring none can pluck them from his hand

461
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:31,056
during our passage to the Cape of Good Hope.

462
00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:34,727
About 30 out of 100 men died, often suddenly,

463
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:35,761
the sailors,

464
00:16:35,761 --> 00:16:36,996
fearing the plague,

465
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:40,132
promptly disposed of the deceased overboard.

466
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:40,799
Storms

467
00:16:40,799 --> 00:16:42,301
also threatened our voyage,

468
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:44,670
causing us to fear for our lives.

469
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,638
Despite witnessing God's judgment,

470
00:16:46,638 --> 00:16:48,107
I remained unrepentant,

471
00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:49,308
continuing in sin

472
00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,810
until his grace began to work in my heart.

473
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:53,045
Upon our arrival

474
00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:56,315
at the Cape of Good Hope in January 1799,

475
00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:58,517
many more men succumb to illness,

476
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:01,553
exacerbated by excessive consumption of cheap wine

477
00:17:01,553 --> 00:17:04,523
and fruit, coupled with immoral behavior.

478
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:07,593
Though I too indulged in sin during my time there,

479
00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:11,230
I marvel at God's patience and mercy, sparing me

480
00:17:11,230 --> 00:17:13,065
despite my unworthiness,

481
00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:16,268
who is of pure eyes and to behold iniquity,

482
00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:19,371
and who cannot look on sin but with abhorrence.

483
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,607
Habakkuk 113.

484
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,042
The Sabbath used to be the day

485
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,044
on which I committed most evil,

486
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:28,680
and I gloried in my sin with my ungodly companions.

487
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,482
I felt ashamed after sinning,

488
00:17:30,482 --> 00:17:32,718
for I came to the Cape of Good Hope.

489
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:34,853
But there I lost all shame.

490
00:17:34,853 --> 00:17:36,889
Well, may I say wonder?

491
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,791
Oh heavens, be astonished over earth

492
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,659
that the Lord should bear so long

493
00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:43,529
with such a wretched, sinful man as I was.

494
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:45,931
I believe that there is not a sin in the Bible

495
00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:49,268
I have not been actually guilty of except murder.

496
00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:49,968
It is true

497
00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:50,736
I was restrained

498
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:53,105
from the actual commission of that sin,

499
00:17:53,105 --> 00:17:54,573
but I was guilty of at times

500
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,075
without number in my heart.

501
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,109
For as the Apostle

502
00:17:57,109 --> 00:18:01,146
John says, whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer.

503
00:18:01,146 --> 00:18:03,048
First John 315.

504
00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:04,383
I have been convinced

505
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:06,418
since the Lord has begun a work of grace

506
00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:08,087
in my heart by his Spirit,

507
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,789
that my sins were the cause of Christ's death.

508
00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:13,459
So I acknowledge I am guilty of that murder.

509
00:18:13,459 --> 00:18:15,027
I murdered the Holy One

510
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:17,763
and the just, and that is the worst of all murders.

511
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,965
Alas, I knew not what I did,

512
00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:21,767
but all my tears are vain.

513
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,103
Where shall my trembling soul be hid?

514
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,338
For I, the Lord, have slain.

515
00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:30,342
Now I can see that even then the Lord was kind to me,

516
00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:33,312
inasmuch as in his kind, longsuffering,

517
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:36,515
and gracious providence he concealed my conduct

518
00:18:36,515 --> 00:18:38,383
from the eyes of my superiors,

519
00:18:38,383 --> 00:18:40,552
who would have punished me severely.

520
00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:43,455
Had they been made aware of my evil practices.

521
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:45,991
The Lord, however, took that into his own hand.

522
00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:48,427
As I shall explain afterwards,

523
00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:51,230
I have also been often exposed to hungry, wild beasts

524
00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:52,097
during the night

525
00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:53,966
when on duty at my post,

526
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:57,002
and I had nothing to defend me but God's providence.

527
00:18:57,002 --> 00:18:58,470
In the year 1803,

528
00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:00,038
all the regiments got orders

529
00:19:00,038 --> 00:19:00,739
from the government

530
00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:02,374
at home to leave the Cape,

531
00:19:02,374 --> 00:19:04,810
it being given over to the Dutch at that time,

532
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:08,547
the 81st Regiment, which I belong to in the 91st,

533
00:19:08,547 --> 00:19:10,282
were ordered to come to England.

534
00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:12,451
But the eighth Dragoons in the 22nd

535
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:13,919
were to go to Bengal,

536
00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:17,356
and the 65th either to Madras or Bombay.

537
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,992
Any man, however, belonging to the two regiments

538
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:20,526
that were ordered

539
00:19:20,526 --> 00:19:22,928
home, was at liberty to volunteer

540
00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:26,165
into any of the three regiments that were going abroad

541
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,134
and get two guineas of volunteer money.

542
00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:30,502
I think there were three days

543
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:33,272
given for the volunteering on the first day.

544
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:35,941
A great many of my comrades volunteered

545
00:19:35,941 --> 00:19:37,943
and got their bounty money.

546
00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:39,511
I had been thinking of coming home

547
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:40,746
along with the 81st,

548
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:42,781
and the subject had taken such a strong

549
00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:44,049
hold of my mind

550
00:19:44,049 --> 00:19:45,517
as to deprive me of sleep

551
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,019
for nearly a whole night before

552
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,954
I could come to a decision.

553
00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:51,857
As I lay on my bed, I reasoned thus with myself,

554
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:55,127
if I go home, what have I made by being abroad?

555
00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:58,030
After all my sufferings and privations?

556
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,766
I am just as poor as when I left home.

557
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,834
These reflections decided me

558
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:05,938
and I resolved to volunteer into the 22nd Regiment.

559
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:09,441
The second day since I have come to know the Lord,

560
00:20:09,441 --> 00:20:10,542
I see and acknowledge

561
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,444
the overruling hand of his providence

562
00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:14,046
in this decision.

563
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,781
Had I gone home at that time,

564
00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:18,150
there was nothing but confusion and war.

565
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:19,117
Whilst in India

566
00:20:19,117 --> 00:20:20,586
there was time to read and think,

567
00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:22,621
and the Lord sent his servants to preach to us.

568
00:20:22,621 --> 00:20:24,723
If we chose to hear.

569
00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:25,490
We embarked for

570
00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:29,528
Calcutta in Bengal in the end of the year 1803.

571
00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:31,163
We were four months on our passage,

572
00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,899
and during that time we often expected to be lost.

573
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:36,268
One time the ship took fire near the magazine

574
00:20:36,268 --> 00:20:37,502
where the powder was,

575
00:20:37,502 --> 00:20:40,472
and we had great difficulty in getting it put out.

576
00:20:40,472 --> 00:20:42,608
The magazine was at the stern of the ship,

577
00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:44,910
and the way that it took fire was this.

578
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:46,745
The ship's steward went into the steerage

579
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,080
with a lighted candle,

580
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:51,116
and the ship no doubt rocking at the time

581
00:20:51,116 --> 00:20:52,618
the candle came in contact

582
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:54,620
with the small twigs of some beams

583
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,288
used for sweeping the ship,

584
00:20:56,288 --> 00:20:57,856
but unknown to him,

585
00:20:57,856 --> 00:21:00,492
the fire had been burning for some time,

586
00:21:00,492 --> 00:21:02,928
and as there was only a thin partition of wood

587
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,464
between it and the magazine of gunpowder,

588
00:21:05,464 --> 00:21:08,400
the ship might have been blown up in an instant,

589
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,235
and we might all have been launched

590
00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:12,471
into the presence of God in a moment,

591
00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:15,240
and received our awful doom forever.

592
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,242
But for the kind providence of God

593
00:21:17,242 --> 00:21:20,779
that caused a lady in the cabin to smell the burning,

594
00:21:20,779 --> 00:21:23,482
she gave the alarm that the ship was on fire.

595
00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:24,783
Then every soldier was ordered

596
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:26,852
to take his blanket out of his hammock,

597
00:21:26,852 --> 00:21:28,387
and after dipping it in the sea

598
00:21:28,387 --> 00:21:30,389
by means of a rope that was tied to it,

599
00:21:30,389 --> 00:21:32,224
to throw it on the flames.

600
00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:34,593
By these means they got the fire out.

601
00:21:34,593 --> 00:21:37,462
And blessed be the Lord for that escape also.

602
00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:39,765
The reason I said they got the fire out

603
00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:41,133
and not we was,

604
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,902
because I had no hand in putting it out.

605
00:21:43,902 --> 00:21:46,104
I will show the state of my mind at the time,

606
00:21:46,104 --> 00:21:48,840
and then you will know what a selfish, presumptuous,

607
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,776
hardened sinner I was.

608
00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:54,246
I said within myself, I will not wet my blanket,

609
00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:55,213
for there are plenty

610
00:21:55,213 --> 00:21:57,316
to extinguish the fire without me.

611
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,017
I will go to the fore part of the ship,

612
00:21:59,017 --> 00:22:01,620
and if the ship be blown up, I will not be killed.

613
00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:03,121
My life will be spared,

614
00:22:03,121 --> 00:22:05,490
for I will throw myself on a plank of the ship

615
00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:07,793
until some vessel pick me up.

616
00:22:07,793 --> 00:22:10,228
I observed that everyone was busy using

617
00:22:10,228 --> 00:22:12,898
every means in his power to put out the fire,

618
00:22:12,898 --> 00:22:13,999
excepting a sailor

619
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:16,201
who was fishing at the bowels of the ship

620
00:22:16,201 --> 00:22:18,270
and had caught a young bottlenose porpoise

621
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:20,372
with which we were both diverting ourselves

622
00:22:20,372 --> 00:22:21,907
when there was but a thin plank

623
00:22:21,907 --> 00:22:23,041
to prevent our bodies

624
00:22:23,041 --> 00:22:25,010
from becoming food for the fishes

625
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,346
and our souls, from being driven out of this world

626
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,849
with fire into that place where their worm dieth not,

627
00:22:30,849 --> 00:22:32,784
and the fire is never quenched.

628
00:22:32,784 --> 00:22:36,388
Mark 944 4648.

629
00:22:36,388 --> 00:22:37,756
Oh, what a contrast here.

630
00:22:37,756 --> 00:22:39,324
When I think of the goodness of God

631
00:22:39,324 --> 00:22:40,559
in Christ to me,

632
00:22:40,559 --> 00:22:42,894
notwithstanding the hardness of my impenitent

633
00:22:42,894 --> 00:22:44,730
and rebellious heart towards him,

634
00:22:44,730 --> 00:22:46,064
it should make me ashamed

635
00:22:46,064 --> 00:22:48,033
and humble me in the dust before him

636
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:50,068
every time I review my life.

637
00:22:50,068 --> 00:22:51,737
But I feel uneasy in my mind

638
00:22:51,737 --> 00:22:53,205
until I go back to the Cape of Good

639
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:55,540
Hope to relate some bad conduct

640
00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:57,209
that I was there guilty of.

641
00:22:57,209 --> 00:23:00,645
There were numbers of Irishmen in the 81st Regiment

642
00:23:00,645 --> 00:23:03,715
who combined themselves together to commit rebellion

643
00:23:03,715 --> 00:23:05,650
against their lawful sovereign,

644
00:23:05,650 --> 00:23:07,619
then King George the Third.

645
00:23:07,619 --> 00:23:09,121
They did not take the advice

646
00:23:09,121 --> 00:23:12,457
that John the Baptist gave to the soldiers in his days

647
00:23:12,457 --> 00:23:14,593
to be content with their wages

648
00:23:14,593 --> 00:23:16,862
and to do violence to no man.

649
00:23:16,862 --> 00:23:18,563
Luke 314.

650
00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:20,766
They were not content with their condition,

651
00:23:20,766 --> 00:23:23,001
and they intended violence.

652
00:23:23,001 --> 00:23:24,936
They got me to join with them.

653
00:23:24,936 --> 00:23:26,471
One of them was a shoemaker.

654
00:23:26,471 --> 00:23:28,006
His name was Flynn.

655
00:23:28,006 --> 00:23:29,408
He was the ringleader.

656
00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:31,309
He told me what they intended to do.

657
00:23:31,309 --> 00:23:33,678
And without considering the consequences,

658
00:23:33,678 --> 00:23:35,680
I was induced to swear on a Bible

659
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,382
and kiss that blessed book

660
00:23:37,382 --> 00:23:39,050
that I would be true to them.

661
00:23:39,050 --> 00:23:40,652
He and some more of his recruits

662
00:23:40,652 --> 00:23:43,021
were spreading disaffection through the regiment.

663
00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:46,024
They complained of little pay and bad provisions,

664
00:23:46,024 --> 00:23:48,260
and they were to do great exploits.

665
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:50,962
One of these was to take possession of the castle

666
00:23:50,962 --> 00:23:53,298
and have the whole cape to themselves.

667
00:23:53,298 --> 00:23:55,967
I was always in company with them drinking.

668
00:23:55,967 --> 00:23:58,403
I had, however, but little to say.

669
00:23:58,403 --> 00:24:00,906
Give me a glass of wine. That was all I minded.

670
00:24:00,906 --> 00:24:01,973
And it was well for me

671
00:24:01,973 --> 00:24:04,943
that the Lord, in his kind providence, shut my mouth.

672
00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:07,345
As you will see by what I have to say.

673
00:24:07,345 --> 00:24:08,380
One day Flynn,

674
00:24:08,380 --> 00:24:10,649
the ringleader, asked me to go to the canteen

675
00:24:10,649 --> 00:24:14,019
to drink some wine with him, and I accordingly went.

676
00:24:14,019 --> 00:24:14,820
At that time,

677
00:24:14,820 --> 00:24:16,254
the 81st and 91st

678
00:24:16,254 --> 00:24:18,690
were quartered in the barracks near the castle.

679
00:24:18,690 --> 00:24:20,358
The canteen is a public house

680
00:24:20,358 --> 00:24:22,561
within the barrack walls for soldiers.

681
00:24:22,561 --> 00:24:23,094
Well,

682
00:24:23,094 --> 00:24:25,096
you will see how wonderfully God

683
00:24:25,096 --> 00:24:26,264
in his providence

684
00:24:26,264 --> 00:24:29,100
stopped this mutiny in time by this event.

685
00:24:29,100 --> 00:24:30,802
Blessed be his name.

686
00:24:30,802 --> 00:24:33,905
There happened to be one of the 91st at the canteen,

687
00:24:33,905 --> 00:24:37,709
and Flynn told him all about what they intended to do.

688
00:24:37,709 --> 00:24:39,344
As I stated before, however,

689
00:24:39,344 --> 00:24:41,546
my mouth was still dumb on that subject,

690
00:24:41,546 --> 00:24:43,215
although I knew all about it.

691
00:24:43,215 --> 00:24:45,217
The 91st man being a Scotchman,

692
00:24:45,217 --> 00:24:47,252
I used to speak to him about Scotland,

693
00:24:47,252 --> 00:24:48,720
for I had a particular great

694
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,856
regard for Scotchman abroad.

695
00:24:50,856 --> 00:24:53,758
The 91st man pretended to join with Flynn

696
00:24:53,758 --> 00:24:56,561
and to spread the mutiny through his own regiment.

697
00:24:56,561 --> 00:24:59,598
Instead, however, of doing so, he went to a drill

698
00:24:59,598 --> 00:25:01,399
sergeant of his own regiment

699
00:25:01,399 --> 00:25:03,768
and told him all the secret.

700
00:25:03,768 --> 00:25:05,504
The sergeant disguised himself,

701
00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:07,305
donning a private's coat,

702
00:25:07,305 --> 00:25:10,408
and arrived at a public house near the barracks walls.

703
00:25:10,408 --> 00:25:10,909
There,

704
00:25:10,909 --> 00:25:13,245
he convinced Flynn to divulge details

705
00:25:13,245 --> 00:25:14,913
of an intended mutiny,

706
00:25:14,913 --> 00:25:17,816
pretending wholehearted support for the plan.

707
00:25:17,816 --> 00:25:20,352
Coincidentally, I was present,

708
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,419
though Flynn didn't

709
00:25:21,419 --> 00:25:23,822
inform the sergeant of my awareness.

710
00:25:23,822 --> 00:25:27,392
Consequently, the sergeant presumed my ignorance.

711
00:25:27,392 --> 00:25:29,127
During Flynn's brief absence,

712
00:25:29,127 --> 00:25:31,263
the sergeant and I were left alone.

713
00:25:31,263 --> 00:25:33,598
Yet no conversation ensued between us

714
00:25:33,598 --> 00:25:35,233
regarding the mutiny.

715
00:25:35,233 --> 00:25:37,135
Strangely, during this interval,

716
00:25:37,135 --> 00:25:38,103
I found myself

717
00:25:38,103 --> 00:25:41,406
inexplicably diverted into discussing Edinburgh,

718
00:25:41,406 --> 00:25:44,843
a topic familiar to Flynn, until Flynn returned.

719
00:25:44,843 --> 00:25:45,644
Looking back,

720
00:25:45,644 --> 00:25:46,811
I ponder why I refrained

721
00:25:46,811 --> 00:25:48,213
from mentioning the sergeant's true

722
00:25:48,213 --> 00:25:49,114
purpose,

723
00:25:49,114 --> 00:25:52,350
given my typically candid and trusting nature.

724
00:25:52,350 --> 00:25:53,518
I attribute this

725
00:25:53,518 --> 00:25:55,387
to what I perceive as the guiding hand

726
00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:56,988
of divine providence.

727
00:25:56,988 --> 00:25:58,657
On the day on which it was Flynn's

728
00:25:58,657 --> 00:26:00,225
turn to mount guard.

729
00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:02,527
He got leave for me to take his place,

730
00:26:02,527 --> 00:26:06,164
promising at the same time to take mine in turn.

731
00:26:06,164 --> 00:26:08,567
I see the hand of the Lord in this also.

732
00:26:08,567 --> 00:26:10,101
For had I not been on guard,

733
00:26:10,101 --> 00:26:12,203
I might have been with the mutineers.

734
00:26:12,203 --> 00:26:13,004
By this time

735
00:26:13,004 --> 00:26:14,372
the sergeant had got acquainted

736
00:26:14,372 --> 00:26:16,308
with the mutineers intentions,

737
00:26:16,308 --> 00:26:18,777
and had reported them to the officers.

738
00:26:18,777 --> 00:26:20,145
I think there were about 4

739
00:26:20,145 --> 00:26:22,147
or 5 of this rebellious band

740
00:26:22,147 --> 00:26:23,882
that had agreed to go down to the castle

741
00:26:23,882 --> 00:26:25,216
to see the guns.

742
00:26:25,216 --> 00:26:26,551
But the sergeant, knowing this

743
00:26:26,551 --> 00:26:27,586
the night before,

744
00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:30,689
had informed the officers of what was contemplated.

745
00:26:30,689 --> 00:26:31,990
And when they reached the castle,

746
00:26:31,990 --> 00:26:34,559
they were instantly seized and imprisoned.

747
00:26:34,559 --> 00:26:36,962
Then a search was made in their knapsacks for papers

748
00:26:36,962 --> 00:26:38,597
relating to the plot.

749
00:26:38,597 --> 00:26:40,231
I rather think they found none,

750
00:26:40,231 --> 00:26:41,166
and it was well for me.

751
00:26:41,166 --> 00:26:42,067
They did not,

752
00:26:42,067 --> 00:26:43,635
for my name might have been found

753
00:26:43,635 --> 00:26:45,270
and rolled among them

754
00:26:45,270 --> 00:26:47,272
after they were some time in prison.

755
00:26:47,272 --> 00:26:49,374
Word was sent to me from the prisoners

756
00:26:49,374 --> 00:26:52,010
to bring in one of their knapsacks, which I did.

757
00:26:52,010 --> 00:26:53,478
I had the hardihood to conceal

758
00:26:53,478 --> 00:26:55,280
a bottle of wine in the knapsack,

759
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:55,747
and got it

760
00:26:55,747 --> 00:26:57,649
brought into the prison in safety,

761
00:26:57,649 --> 00:27:00,218
as the keeper of the prison providentially

762
00:27:00,218 --> 00:27:01,920
did not open the knapsack,

763
00:27:01,920 --> 00:27:04,022
although it was his duty to do so.

764
00:27:04,022 --> 00:27:05,223
Although no one was allowed

765
00:27:05,223 --> 00:27:06,691
to speak to the prisoners,

766
00:27:06,691 --> 00:27:09,160
and sentinels were placed around the prison,

767
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:10,862
I went and watched an opportunity,

768
00:27:10,862 --> 00:27:12,931
and got a letter from one of them out of the window

769
00:27:12,931 --> 00:27:15,166
to carry to one of their associates.

770
00:27:15,166 --> 00:27:17,102
After I got the letter into my possession,

771
00:27:17,102 --> 00:27:19,104
a horse seized my mind for the first time

772
00:27:19,104 --> 00:27:21,573
that if that letter were found upon me,

773
00:27:21,573 --> 00:27:24,209
I should be treated as one of their accomplices.

774
00:27:24,209 --> 00:27:26,177
I did not, therefore deliver it,

775
00:27:26,177 --> 00:27:27,812
but I would have given anything

776
00:27:27,812 --> 00:27:29,781
to have got into some secret place

777
00:27:29,781 --> 00:27:32,017
where I could tear it into small pieces,

778
00:27:32,017 --> 00:27:34,085
which I think I did at last

779
00:27:34,085 --> 00:27:36,154
whilst I had it in my possession.

780
00:27:36,154 --> 00:27:38,356
I thought every person would see me.

781
00:27:38,356 --> 00:27:41,092
Oh, how glad was I when it was destroyed!

782
00:27:41,092 --> 00:27:43,862
I never thought, however, that the Lord saw me

783
00:27:43,862 --> 00:27:44,529
after that.

784
00:27:44,529 --> 00:27:45,664
I never went near them

785
00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:46,931
until I was ordered

786
00:27:46,931 --> 00:27:48,667
to attend as a witness for Flynn

787
00:27:48,667 --> 00:27:50,468
at a general court martial.

788
00:27:50,468 --> 00:27:53,204
I went accordingly when it was his turn to be tried,

789
00:27:53,204 --> 00:27:54,372
and to my shame,

790
00:27:54,372 --> 00:27:56,608
I confess I took a false oath, for

791
00:27:56,608 --> 00:27:58,710
I swore I would tell all I knew,

792
00:27:58,710 --> 00:28:02,313
which if I had done, I would have brought in myself.

793
00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:04,115
There were two witnesses against Flynn,

794
00:28:04,115 --> 00:28:05,717
as I mentioned before.

795
00:28:05,717 --> 00:28:07,952
The first was the private of the 91st

796
00:28:07,952 --> 00:28:10,822
that Flynn and I were drinking with in the canteen,

797
00:28:10,822 --> 00:28:12,290
but fortunately I had paid

798
00:28:12,290 --> 00:28:15,093
little attention to what they said as a kind.

799
00:28:15,093 --> 00:28:18,063
Providence directed my attention to a Scotchman,

800
00:28:18,063 --> 00:28:19,798
who was amusing the company

801
00:28:19,798 --> 00:28:22,567
by whistling through his throat like a bird.

802
00:28:22,567 --> 00:28:23,368
The general court

803
00:28:23,368 --> 00:28:25,737
martial was ordered to be held in the castle.

804
00:28:25,737 --> 00:28:27,172
The prisoners and witnesses

805
00:28:27,172 --> 00:28:28,940
were brought to the same place.

806
00:28:28,940 --> 00:28:31,710
Flynn, the ringleader, was first tried,

807
00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:33,778
and it went greatly against him,

808
00:28:33,778 --> 00:28:35,180
until I was brought forward

809
00:28:35,180 --> 00:28:37,148
as a witness on his behalf.

810
00:28:37,148 --> 00:28:40,151
I think I had heard some men of the 81st Regiment,

811
00:28:40,151 --> 00:28:41,453
which I then belong to,

812
00:28:41,453 --> 00:28:45,590
say that the private of the 91st, whose name was er,

813
00:28:45,590 --> 00:28:48,460
had been guilty of many crimes in his own regiment,

814
00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:50,128
and that they had seen his name

815
00:28:50,128 --> 00:28:51,963
posted on the gate of the barracks,

816
00:28:51,963 --> 00:28:54,466
which I may observe are walled in,

817
00:28:54,466 --> 00:28:57,302
so that the Sentinel should not let him out.

818
00:28:57,302 --> 00:28:59,671
Now, when I was called in as a witness for Flynn,

819
00:28:59,671 --> 00:29:01,940
the officers asked me when it was

820
00:29:01,940 --> 00:29:03,374
I met them in the canteen,

821
00:29:03,374 --> 00:29:04,209
and my reason

822
00:29:04,209 --> 00:29:07,712
for not speaking to lever, the private of the 91st.

823
00:29:07,712 --> 00:29:10,582
I replied that I did not think it worthwhile

824
00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:11,649
to speak to him,

825
00:29:11,649 --> 00:29:13,718
because I saw his name on the gate

826
00:29:13,718 --> 00:29:16,921
as one not to be permitted to go out of the barracks.

827
00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:19,591
This reply caused them to look into his character,

828
00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:22,260
and it was found not to be very good.

829
00:29:22,260 --> 00:29:23,862
I think this shook their confidence

830
00:29:23,862 --> 00:29:25,864
in his testimony against Flynn.

831
00:29:25,864 --> 00:29:28,133
Then they began to look into my character

832
00:29:28,133 --> 00:29:29,901
and they cross questioned me

833
00:29:29,901 --> 00:29:33,238
and it was with much ado I escaped out of the net.

834
00:29:33,238 --> 00:29:35,907
It was greatly in my favor that I had a good character

835
00:29:35,907 --> 00:29:37,208
as a clean soldier

836
00:29:37,208 --> 00:29:37,976
and regular

837
00:29:37,976 --> 00:29:38,943
in every duty,

838
00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:40,712
and that I never had been in the guard house

839
00:29:40,712 --> 00:29:41,913
as a prisoner.

840
00:29:41,913 --> 00:29:43,681
Oh, how heedless and thoughtless

841
00:29:43,681 --> 00:29:45,850
was I to rush into such dangers,

842
00:29:45,850 --> 00:29:47,919
not knowing the awful consequences

843
00:29:47,919 --> 00:29:50,288
which generally attends such conduct

844
00:29:50,288 --> 00:29:52,524
agreeably to the articles of war?

845
00:29:52,524 --> 00:29:54,526
We were all guilty of death.

846
00:29:54,526 --> 00:29:55,894
Upon reflection,

847
00:29:55,894 --> 00:29:58,997
I feel ashamed of being guilty of such foolish conduct

848
00:29:58,997 --> 00:30:00,131
in making an attempt.

849
00:30:00,131 --> 00:30:02,367
It was impossible to accomplish.

850
00:30:02,367 --> 00:30:03,902
I believe that Satan lays

851
00:30:03,902 --> 00:30:06,337
many snares to ruin precious souls.

852
00:30:06,337 --> 00:30:09,908
I often, when confessing this before God, acknowledge

853
00:30:09,908 --> 00:30:12,210
that I deserve to be driven out of this world

854
00:30:12,210 --> 00:30:15,480
with shame from among men, into that place where

855
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,917
there is nothing but shame and everlasting contempt.

856
00:30:18,917 --> 00:30:20,552
It is of the Lord's mercies

857
00:30:20,552 --> 00:30:23,254
that this has not been the case long before now.

858
00:30:23,254 --> 00:30:25,290
Oh, that I could warn every soldier

859
00:30:25,290 --> 00:30:27,392
in the army against such conduct.

860
00:30:27,392 --> 00:30:30,662
No good can intended, but much evil.

861
00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:31,863
The next prisoner that was

862
00:30:31,863 --> 00:30:33,832
tried was one George Anderson,

863
00:30:33,832 --> 00:30:36,267
and I was sent for as a witness for him.

864
00:30:36,267 --> 00:30:39,103
I would not go, because, having nearly entangled me

865
00:30:39,103 --> 00:30:40,138
the first time,

866
00:30:40,138 --> 00:30:42,240
I took good care, they should not do so.

867
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:43,274
The second.

868
00:30:43,274 --> 00:30:45,510
The next to be tried was McFarlane,

869
00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:47,145
and I think there was only another

870
00:30:47,145 --> 00:30:49,214
whose name was Flood Troy.

871
00:30:49,214 --> 00:30:50,682
These being found guilty,

872
00:30:50,682 --> 00:30:53,685
Flynn was sentenced to be banished to botany Bay.

873
00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:55,453
I cannot tell whether it was for life

874
00:30:55,453 --> 00:30:58,790
or for a limited period and the rest to be flogged.

875
00:30:58,790 --> 00:31:02,460
I think Anderson got 700 lashes on his naked shoulders

876
00:31:02,460 --> 00:31:04,495
and McFarlane 500.

877
00:31:04,495 --> 00:31:06,331
I do not remember whether Flood Troy

878
00:31:06,331 --> 00:31:07,599
was punished or not.

879
00:31:07,599 --> 00:31:10,201
As I was not present at the place of punishment,

880
00:31:10,201 --> 00:31:12,537
being on some other duty at that time.

881
00:31:12,537 --> 00:31:15,373
And as to Flynn, he had not been long banished

882
00:31:15,373 --> 00:31:17,208
until I saw him in the Cape of Good

883
00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:18,142
Hope again,

884
00:31:18,142 --> 00:31:19,444
in sailor's dress,

885
00:31:19,444 --> 00:31:22,313
free from the army, and free from banishment.

886
00:31:22,313 --> 00:31:23,548
Whoever may read this

887
00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:25,984
may probably be wearied with the long detail

888
00:31:25,984 --> 00:31:27,518
I have now given.

889
00:31:27,518 --> 00:31:29,220
But I saw when I began it

890
00:31:29,220 --> 00:31:30,421
that it would be wrong, and me

891
00:31:30,421 --> 00:31:32,857
not to tell the whole that I knew about it.

892
00:31:32,857 --> 00:31:35,059
Well, if I was not found out by man

893
00:31:35,059 --> 00:31:36,594
and punished by man,

894
00:31:36,594 --> 00:31:38,730
the Lord has since that taken me in hands,

895
00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:41,165
and has made that as well as my other sins,

896
00:31:41,165 --> 00:31:42,233
bitter to me,

897
00:31:42,233 --> 00:31:45,169
by showing me his displeasure against my conduct.

898
00:31:45,169 --> 00:31:48,039
However, it has all been in love to my soul.

899
00:31:48,039 --> 00:31:48,706
I have learned that

900
00:31:48,706 --> 00:31:50,208
although the Lord forgives the sinner

901
00:31:50,208 --> 00:31:52,677
through the finished work of his incarnate son,

902
00:31:52,677 --> 00:31:54,879
he takes vengeance on their inventions.

903
00:31:54,879 --> 00:31:55,980
I wonder many a time

904
00:31:55,980 --> 00:31:58,182
what possessed me to join such a crew.

905
00:31:58,182 --> 00:32:00,451
I was not dissatisfied with my condition

906
00:32:00,451 --> 00:32:02,220
and did not feel revengeful.

907
00:32:02,220 --> 00:32:04,989
Bad company, bad counsels,

908
00:32:04,989 --> 00:32:06,057
and not considering

909
00:32:06,057 --> 00:32:09,193
what the consequences would be exposed. Me?

910
00:32:09,193 --> 00:32:11,696
A stupid, thoughtless, easy lead.

911
00:32:11,696 --> 00:32:13,231
Young man, to punishment

912
00:32:13,231 --> 00:32:17,368
in this world and everlasting punishment hereafter.

913
00:32:17,368 --> 00:32:20,471
I hope that young men will beware of bad company.

914
00:32:20,471 --> 00:32:22,407
Many things that happened during the time

915
00:32:22,407 --> 00:32:24,242
we remained in the Cape of Good Hope

916
00:32:24,242 --> 00:32:26,010
have escaped my memory.

917
00:32:26,010 --> 00:32:28,713
I hope, therefore, a excuse will be

918
00:32:28,713 --> 00:32:31,449
made for the confused way I have written.

919
00:32:31,449 --> 00:32:33,851
All that I have written or shall write

920
00:32:33,851 --> 00:32:35,353
depends upon the Lord

921
00:32:35,353 --> 00:32:37,422
as he brings it to my remembrance.

922
00:32:37,422 --> 00:32:39,090
For I never wrote before,

923
00:32:39,090 --> 00:32:42,627
and I am now entered on the 65th year of my age.

924
00:32:42,627 --> 00:32:44,529
I should have mentioned at the beginning

925
00:32:44,529 --> 00:32:47,799
that one time some men of the company I belong to,

926
00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:49,801
and my companions in sin

927
00:32:49,801 --> 00:32:52,470
stole a cask of wine from a Dutchman

928
00:32:52,470 --> 00:32:53,938
and carried it into the fields

929
00:32:53,938 --> 00:32:55,840
among bushes at a station

930
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:57,742
where we lay called Weinberg.

931
00:32:57,742 --> 00:32:59,010
They told me of it,

932
00:32:59,010 --> 00:33:01,646
and I went with them and help them to drink it.

933
00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:04,482
It was not discovered who had taken it. Else

934
00:33:04,482 --> 00:33:05,516
if it had,

935
00:33:05,516 --> 00:33:08,252
we should have been severely punished as thieves.

936
00:33:08,252 --> 00:33:09,387
And there was no mercy

937
00:33:09,387 --> 00:33:12,090
shown to thieves in the 81st Regiment.

938
00:33:12,090 --> 00:33:12,890
At another time,

939
00:33:12,890 --> 00:33:14,025
a party had agreed to go

940
00:33:14,025 --> 00:33:16,327
and steal grapes out of the field at night,

941
00:33:16,327 --> 00:33:18,196
and would not take me with them.

942
00:33:18,196 --> 00:33:20,832
They thought I could not run so fast as they could,

943
00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:23,301
and that if they were chased, I should be taken.

944
00:33:23,301 --> 00:33:25,670
But I partook in eight of the stolen fruit

945
00:33:25,670 --> 00:33:28,272
along with them, so I was like, Adam.

946
00:33:28,272 --> 00:33:31,409
Eve stole the forbidden fruit and Adam partook of it.

947
00:33:31,409 --> 00:33:32,010
So we see

948
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:34,612
he was equally guilty with her and exposed himself

949
00:33:34,612 --> 00:33:40,885
and all his posterity to the same punishment.

950
00:33:40,885 --> 00:33:43,721
Chapter two Trials and Tribulations.

951
00:33:43,721 --> 00:33:47,058
Military service and hardened heart.

952
00:33:47,058 --> 00:33:47,925
At another time,

953
00:33:47,925 --> 00:33:49,293
a fierce storm struck,

954
00:33:49,293 --> 00:33:52,063
affecting many ships in table Bay.

955
00:33:52,063 --> 00:33:54,565
The wind whipped up heavy waves, making

956
00:33:54,565 --> 00:33:57,769
anchoring precarious in such conditions.

957
00:33:57,769 --> 00:34:00,571
As the anchors began to drag across the bay.

958
00:34:00,571 --> 00:34:01,839
Some ships followed

959
00:34:01,839 --> 00:34:04,108
the example of those in Paul's ship

960
00:34:04,108 --> 00:34:06,244
and managed to escape disaster.

961
00:34:06,244 --> 00:34:09,213
They raised their main souls, headed towards shore,

962
00:34:09,213 --> 00:34:09,981
and safely

963
00:34:09,981 --> 00:34:11,783
beach their vessels, later

964
00:34:11,783 --> 00:34:14,118
refloating them during the high tide.

965
00:34:14,118 --> 00:34:15,953
Among these vessels was an East Indian

966
00:34:15,953 --> 00:34:18,356
man, possibly named the Old Scepter,

967
00:34:18,356 --> 00:34:19,524
which had been converted

968
00:34:19,524 --> 00:34:22,860
from a 94 gun ship for trade in the East Indies.

969
00:34:22,860 --> 00:34:24,362
It managed to hold its anchors

970
00:34:24,362 --> 00:34:25,229
during the day

971
00:34:25,229 --> 00:34:26,631
by using some of its large

972
00:34:26,631 --> 00:34:28,433
guns attached to the cables.

973
00:34:28,433 --> 00:34:31,135
However, during the night or early morning hours,

974
00:34:31,135 --> 00:34:33,037
the ship was torn from its moorings

975
00:34:33,037 --> 00:34:34,772
and smashed against the rocks,

976
00:34:34,772 --> 00:34:37,408
resulting in its complete destruction.

977
00:34:37,408 --> 00:34:39,844
Upon hearing the call to arms, many soldiers

978
00:34:39,844 --> 00:34:42,880
rushed to the shore to aid in the rescue efforts.

979
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,449
Some lit fires on the beach,

980
00:34:44,449 --> 00:34:46,350
while others braved the turbulent waters

981
00:34:46,350 --> 00:34:47,785
to save the crew members,

982
00:34:47,785 --> 00:34:50,455
who were tossed about amidst the wreckage.

983
00:34:50,455 --> 00:34:52,290
Though I was not personally present,

984
00:34:52,290 --> 00:34:54,292
being occupied with guard duty at the time,

985
00:34:54,292 --> 00:34:55,893
if memory serves me right,

986
00:34:55,893 --> 00:34:59,330
I was told that despite great difficulty, around 50

987
00:34:59,330 --> 00:35:01,799
individuals were brought safely to shore.

988
00:35:01,799 --> 00:35:02,533
Tragically,

989
00:35:02,533 --> 00:35:06,571
the remaining 300 perished in the tumultuous waters.

990
00:35:06,571 --> 00:35:07,171
At dawn,

991
00:35:07,171 --> 00:35:08,372
I made my way to the shore

992
00:35:08,372 --> 00:35:10,141
before starting my guard duty.

993
00:35:10,141 --> 00:35:13,144
Curious to see the aftermath of the shipwreck.

994
00:35:13,144 --> 00:35:16,180
Scattered along the beach were numerous deceased,

995
00:35:16,180 --> 00:35:19,016
some so grievously injured by the ship's debris

996
00:35:19,016 --> 00:35:19,817
in the water

997
00:35:19,817 --> 00:35:22,520
that they were beyond moving to the cemetery.

998
00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:25,356
Consequently, a sizable pit was excavated

999
00:35:25,356 --> 00:35:28,726
in the sand to quickly bury these bodies on the spot.

1000
00:35:28,726 --> 00:35:30,595
The remaining victims were transported

1001
00:35:30,595 --> 00:35:31,963
by wagon to the Amsterdam

1002
00:35:31,963 --> 00:35:34,265
churchyard for proper burial.

1003
00:35:34,265 --> 00:35:35,500
During this time,

1004
00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:36,934
I was assigned to guard duty

1005
00:35:36,934 --> 00:35:38,870
specifically at the Navy Hospital

1006
00:35:38,870 --> 00:35:41,072
Guard, located near the cemetery.

1007
00:35:41,072 --> 00:35:42,340
Since the wagon drivers

1008
00:35:42,340 --> 00:35:43,141
were unfamiliar

1009
00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:45,276
with the location of the burial ground,

1010
00:35:45,276 --> 00:35:47,211
I ended up guiding them there.

1011
00:35:47,211 --> 00:35:47,912
At the site,

1012
00:35:47,912 --> 00:35:51,449
I saw a large deep excavation made for the deceased,

1013
00:35:51,449 --> 00:35:52,783
who were taken from the wagons

1014
00:35:52,783 --> 00:35:55,920
and placed on the ground, still in their wet garments.

1015
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:58,556
Among these were sailors who had recovered enough

1016
00:35:58,556 --> 00:36:00,424
to leave the Navy hospital

1017
00:36:00,424 --> 00:36:02,793
before the bodies were stacked in the pit.

1018
00:36:02,793 --> 00:36:04,562
I noticed the surviving sailors

1019
00:36:04,562 --> 00:36:06,297
rifling through their pockets,

1020
00:36:06,297 --> 00:36:09,300
claiming ownership of belongings by saying,

1021
00:36:09,300 --> 00:36:13,104
this was my mess, mate, and I will take what is here.

1022
00:36:13,104 --> 00:36:13,804
Following this,

1023
00:36:13,804 --> 00:36:16,841
they disposed of the bodies into the pit as described.

1024
00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:19,610
However, seven officers who had perished were treated

1025
00:36:19,610 --> 00:36:20,912
with more dignity.

1026
00:36:20,912 --> 00:36:22,613
Their bodies still clothed,

1027
00:36:22,613 --> 00:36:23,915
were brought to the guardhouse

1028
00:36:23,915 --> 00:36:26,918
and laid on beds to await coffin. Preparation.

1029
00:36:26,918 --> 00:36:30,288
The storm subsided once the grim task was concluded

1030
00:36:30,288 --> 00:36:34,158
and nearly 300 souls were sent into eternity at once.

1031
00:36:34,158 --> 00:36:34,892
At this point,

1032
00:36:34,892 --> 00:36:37,228
I must admit, my insensitivity

1033
00:36:37,228 --> 00:36:39,063
matched that of those around me.

1034
00:36:39,063 --> 00:36:41,866
Our actions suggested we were more heartless

1035
00:36:41,866 --> 00:36:44,902
than the infamous inhabitants of Melita.

1036
00:36:44,902 --> 00:36:47,572
Soldiers dispatched to rescue drowning victims

1037
00:36:47,572 --> 00:36:50,775
were instead found looting, breaking open casts of rum

1038
00:36:50,775 --> 00:36:54,412
to drink, and stealing clothing and supplies.

1039
00:36:54,412 --> 00:36:56,447
Some of this loot was shared with me

1040
00:36:56,447 --> 00:36:59,016
and I indulged with no small amount of gusto,

1041
00:36:59,016 --> 00:36:59,850
which in part

1042
00:36:59,850 --> 00:37:01,419
motivated my early morning visit

1043
00:37:01,419 --> 00:37:03,454
to the beach before my guard shift.

1044
00:37:03,454 --> 00:37:04,088
That night,

1045
00:37:04,088 --> 00:37:05,289
I slept on a guard bed

1046
00:37:05,289 --> 00:37:07,191
right next to the deceased officers

1047
00:37:07,191 --> 00:37:08,793
without any discomfort,

1048
00:37:08,793 --> 00:37:11,395
as though they were merely sleeping comrades.

1049
00:37:11,395 --> 00:37:13,631
Such was the desensitizing effect

1050
00:37:13,631 --> 00:37:15,333
of my sinful lifestyle.

1051
00:37:15,333 --> 00:37:18,502
No admonition or divine retribution could reach me.

1052
00:37:18,502 --> 00:37:19,770
Then I lived,

1053
00:37:19,770 --> 00:37:20,938
utterly oblivious

1054
00:37:20,938 --> 00:37:23,441
to the moral implications of my actions.

1055
00:37:23,441 --> 00:37:24,875
Reflecting on my behavior

1056
00:37:24,875 --> 00:37:28,613
during that time fills me with deep regret and shame.

1057
00:37:28,613 --> 00:37:31,015
There was a company of the 81st Regiment

1058
00:37:31,015 --> 00:37:34,185
sent to do duty, about 16 miles from Cape Town.

1059
00:37:34,185 --> 00:37:36,120
To this company I belonged.

1060
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:37,755
One of the party was entrusted

1061
00:37:37,755 --> 00:37:38,756
with the care of the sheep

1062
00:37:38,756 --> 00:37:40,491
intended for our provisions,

1063
00:37:40,491 --> 00:37:43,294
and he stole one of them, and a few of us boiled it.

1064
00:37:43,294 --> 00:37:45,263
And I was one of them who helped to eat it

1065
00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:47,498
in the Navy hospital guard houses.

1066
00:37:47,498 --> 00:37:48,366
At that site

1067
00:37:48,366 --> 00:37:49,433
there was a bakehouse

1068
00:37:49,433 --> 00:37:51,402
where Navy biscuits were produced.

1069
00:37:51,402 --> 00:37:52,837
These biscuits were stored

1070
00:37:52,837 --> 00:37:54,572
in a room above the guardhouse,

1071
00:37:54,572 --> 00:37:56,941
accessible through a hole in the floor.

1072
00:37:56,941 --> 00:37:58,075
Many of my comrades,

1073
00:37:58,075 --> 00:37:59,310
including myself,

1074
00:37:59,310 --> 00:38:02,079
would reach through this hole to obtain biscuits.

1075
00:38:02,079 --> 00:38:05,116
However, as the biscuits began to disappear,

1076
00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:06,984
the authorities became suspicious

1077
00:38:06,984 --> 00:38:08,786
and established a watch.

1078
00:38:08,786 --> 00:38:10,154
They apprehended a soldier

1079
00:38:10,154 --> 00:38:12,823
from another regiment suspected of theft.

1080
00:38:12,823 --> 00:38:13,724
He was reported to

1081
00:38:13,724 --> 00:38:14,625
the colonel,

1082
00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:17,995
tried by a garrison court martial, found guilty

1083
00:38:17,995 --> 00:38:19,997
and publicly flogged in the barracks square

1084
00:38:19,997 --> 00:38:22,767
before all the regiments stationed in Cape Town.

1085
00:38:22,767 --> 00:38:23,901
This incident took place

1086
00:38:23,901 --> 00:38:25,202
in 1802,

1087
00:38:25,202 --> 00:38:28,139
a year marked by the looming threat of famine.

1088
00:38:28,139 --> 00:38:30,775
In response to the impending scarcity,

1089
00:38:30,775 --> 00:38:34,045
both officers and men had their rations reduced.

1090
00:38:34,045 --> 00:38:37,114
I recall that the daily allowance consisted of 12oz,

1091
00:38:37,114 --> 00:38:40,318
of course bread and half a pound of meat.

1092
00:38:40,318 --> 00:38:42,887
Situated in an exposed location to the fresh

1093
00:38:42,887 --> 00:38:43,954
sea breeze,

1094
00:38:43,954 --> 00:38:46,557
and with the men predominantly young and healthy,

1095
00:38:46,557 --> 00:38:50,094
some would consume their entire allowance in one meal.

1096
00:38:50,094 --> 00:38:51,095
During the flogging,

1097
00:38:51,095 --> 00:38:52,596
the young man cried out,

1098
00:38:52,596 --> 00:38:55,066
oh, will you not forgive me and stop?

1099
00:38:55,066 --> 00:38:57,568
Hunger will break through a stone wall.

1100
00:38:57,568 --> 00:38:59,403
His words struck a chord with me

1101
00:38:59,403 --> 00:39:01,138
as I had often gone to bed hungry

1102
00:39:01,138 --> 00:39:02,873
and with an empty stomach.

1103
00:39:02,873 --> 00:39:05,609
I would think of my father's house and silently weep,

1104
00:39:05,609 --> 00:39:07,378
overwhelmed by the intense hunger

1105
00:39:07,378 --> 00:39:09,113
I felt in that foreign land.

1106
00:39:09,113 --> 00:39:11,849
It was a stark contrast to the comfort and abundance

1107
00:39:11,849 --> 00:39:14,085
I experienced in my father's house.

1108
00:39:14,085 --> 00:39:16,754
Many a time, I longingly gazed towards my earthly

1109
00:39:16,754 --> 00:39:19,457
father's house, yearning to return.

1110
00:39:19,457 --> 00:39:21,125
If only I had wings.

1111
00:39:21,125 --> 00:39:23,761
I would have flown home at that very moment.

1112
00:39:23,761 --> 00:39:25,596
Despite the circumstances,

1113
00:39:25,596 --> 00:39:28,199
there is no justification for stealing.

1114
00:39:28,199 --> 00:39:31,602
If stealing is detestable in the eyes of humanity,

1115
00:39:31,602 --> 00:39:32,970
one can only imagine

1116
00:39:32,970 --> 00:39:35,740
how abhorrent it must be in the sight of God.

1117
00:39:35,740 --> 00:39:36,807
The Bible provides

1118
00:39:36,807 --> 00:39:40,111
numerous examples of God's displeasure towards a sin,

1119
00:39:40,111 --> 00:39:43,647
such as the case of Aiken's transgression at Jericho,

1120
00:39:43,647 --> 00:39:45,116
and it consistently forbids

1121
00:39:45,116 --> 00:39:46,917
stealing throughout its teachings,

1122
00:39:46,917 --> 00:39:51,222
including the eighth commandment thou shalt not steal.

1123
00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:52,256
While we may attempt to

1124
00:39:52,256 --> 00:39:53,824
justify our actions,

1125
00:39:53,824 --> 00:39:56,927
no excuses will be accepted on the Day of Judgment.

1126
00:39:56,927 --> 00:40:00,030
In First Corinthians chapter six, verses 9 to 10,

1127
00:40:00,030 --> 00:40:02,967
individuals who persist in such sins are described

1128
00:40:02,967 --> 00:40:05,870
as ineligible to enter the kingdom of God.

1129
00:40:05,870 --> 00:40:07,571
Whether in life or in death.

1130
00:40:07,571 --> 00:40:08,973
Do not be deceived.

1131
00:40:08,973 --> 00:40:12,243
Neither fornicators nor idolaters, nor adulterers,

1132
00:40:12,243 --> 00:40:13,344
nor effeminate,

1133
00:40:13,344 --> 00:40:17,214
nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves,

1134
00:40:17,214 --> 00:40:20,718
nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revile,

1135
00:40:20,718 --> 00:40:24,855
nor extortions, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

1136
00:40:24,855 --> 00:40:27,792
The Corinthian church had been guilty of these sins,

1137
00:40:27,792 --> 00:40:29,927
some to a significant degree.

1138
00:40:29,927 --> 00:40:32,596
However, through the preaching of the gospel by Paul

1139
00:40:32,596 --> 00:40:34,665
and the grace of the Lord upon his word.

1140
00:40:34,665 --> 00:40:37,501
The Corinthians were convicted of their sins,

1141
00:40:37,501 --> 00:40:40,037
as evidenced in the subsequent verse.

1142
00:40:40,037 --> 00:40:42,072
They turned to repentance and faith in the Lord

1143
00:40:42,072 --> 00:40:43,207
Jesus Christ.

1144
00:40:43,207 --> 00:40:46,577
Experiencing cleansing, sanctification,

1145
00:40:46,577 --> 00:40:48,512
and justification.

1146
00:40:48,512 --> 00:40:50,614
But as Paul brought the sins of the Corinthians

1147
00:40:50,614 --> 00:40:51,916
to their remembrance,

1148
00:40:51,916 --> 00:40:53,884
so I desire to do the same,

1149
00:40:53,884 --> 00:40:56,620
and I will therefore go on with my story.

1150
00:40:56,620 --> 00:40:58,656
One night after the evening parade,

1151
00:40:58,656 --> 00:40:59,857
a group of soldiers,

1152
00:40:59,857 --> 00:41:01,125
including myself,

1153
00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:03,527
decided to take a stroll in Cape Town.

1154
00:41:03,527 --> 00:41:04,562
As darkness fell,

1155
00:41:04,562 --> 00:41:05,763
one of our companions,

1156
00:41:05,763 --> 00:41:08,866
John Smith, wandered off without explanation.

1157
00:41:08,866 --> 00:41:09,900
Soon after,

1158
00:41:09,900 --> 00:41:11,435
we spotted him sprinting back

1159
00:41:11,435 --> 00:41:13,204
towards us at full speed.

1160
00:41:13,204 --> 00:41:14,338
I called out to him,

1161
00:41:14,338 --> 00:41:16,273
but upon our return to the barracks,

1162
00:41:16,273 --> 00:41:19,376
he became furious with me for mentioning his name.

1163
00:41:19,376 --> 00:41:22,246
Smith, originally from the north of Ireland,

1164
00:41:22,246 --> 00:41:23,881
had apparently been involved in

1165
00:41:23,881 --> 00:41:26,016
or planning to rob a Dutchman.

1166
00:41:26,016 --> 00:41:28,052
During my time in Cape Town, Maguire.

1167
00:41:28,052 --> 00:41:29,720
The man who had previously stolen

1168
00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:31,989
my watch and another in Guernsey,

1169
00:41:31,989 --> 00:41:33,190
stumbled into the berth

1170
00:41:33,190 --> 00:41:36,293
I shared with my comrade Hughes, a fellow Dubliner.

1171
00:41:36,293 --> 00:41:38,028
In a drunken stupor, Maguire

1172
00:41:38,028 --> 00:41:40,064
confessed to robbing a Dutchman.

1173
00:41:40,064 --> 00:41:42,399
He inadvertently dropped the stolen purse

1174
00:41:42,399 --> 00:41:43,734
containing eight gold

1175
00:41:43,734 --> 00:41:45,102
coins worth eight shillings

1176
00:41:45,102 --> 00:41:45,903
each,

1177
00:41:45,903 --> 00:41:49,139
which my neighbor and I promptly spent on alcohol.

1178
00:41:49,139 --> 00:41:52,510
Despite repeated instances of theft, Maguire escaped

1179
00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:53,644
severe punishment

1180
00:41:53,644 --> 00:41:55,079
until the Colonel grew tired

1181
00:41:55,079 --> 00:41:56,347
of disciplining him

1182
00:41:56,347 --> 00:41:59,550
and arranged for his transfer to the eighth Dragoons.

1183
00:41:59,550 --> 00:42:02,486
However, Maguire's criminal behavior persisted,

1184
00:42:02,486 --> 00:42:05,756
and, along with two fellow soldiers from the 81st,

1185
00:42:05,756 --> 00:42:08,192
he attempted to remain out of quarters overnight

1186
00:42:08,192 --> 00:42:09,693
without detection,

1187
00:42:09,693 --> 00:42:12,630
caught in the act of robbing a master printer.

1188
00:42:12,630 --> 00:42:14,532
They were arrested by the patrol,

1189
00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:16,667
tried by a general court martial,

1190
00:42:16,667 --> 00:42:18,602
and sentenced to death.

1191
00:42:18,602 --> 00:42:21,071
As the execution approached, one of the men,

1192
00:42:21,071 --> 00:42:23,173
an Englishman named Browne,

1193
00:42:23,173 --> 00:42:25,342
received a pardon at the last moment.

1194
00:42:25,342 --> 00:42:27,144
However, Maguire and Callahan,

1195
00:42:27,144 --> 00:42:29,480
both Irishman, were hanged.

1196
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,182
Callahan pleaded for mercy from General Dundas,

1197
00:42:32,182 --> 00:42:33,851
the commander in chief,

1198
00:42:33,851 --> 00:42:35,252
in a heartbreaking cry

1199
00:42:35,252 --> 00:42:37,388
that moved many soldiers present.

1200
00:42:37,388 --> 00:42:39,957
But their pleas fell on deaf ears.

1201
00:42:39,957 --> 00:42:42,726
Maguire remained silent throughout.

1202
00:42:42,726 --> 00:42:45,362
Brown's pardon was granted as he stood in his death

1203
00:42:45,362 --> 00:42:47,665
attire with the noose around his neck.

1204
00:42:47,665 --> 00:42:50,200
He later returned to duty in his regiment.

1205
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:50,901
I remember

1206
00:42:50,901 --> 00:42:52,670
after this, on a field day,

1207
00:42:52,670 --> 00:42:53,270
it happened

1208
00:42:53,270 --> 00:42:55,406
that Brown was next to me in the ranks,

1209
00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:56,607
and we both marched over

1210
00:42:56,607 --> 00:42:58,976
the graves of the two men that suffered.

1211
00:42:58,976 --> 00:43:00,911
Browne looked me in the face and said,

1212
00:43:00,911 --> 00:43:02,346
I deserve to be there, for

1213
00:43:02,346 --> 00:43:04,381
I was as guilty as they were.

1214
00:43:04,381 --> 00:43:06,917
I have thought since that I may take up the same words

1215
00:43:06,917 --> 00:43:07,518
when I look back

1216
00:43:07,518 --> 00:43:08,819
upon my past life

1217
00:43:08,819 --> 00:43:11,822
and look down to hell, for I deserve to be there, for

1218
00:43:11,822 --> 00:43:14,592
I have been as bad and a great deal worse than many

1219
00:43:14,592 --> 00:43:15,926
that are there.

1220
00:43:15,926 --> 00:43:17,428
Oh, that I may never forget.

1221
00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:18,095
The sovereign

1222
00:43:18,095 --> 00:43:21,899
love of God in Christ to me, the chief of sinners.

1223
00:43:21,899 --> 00:43:25,002
Although I was worse than I have words to call myself,

1224
00:43:25,002 --> 00:43:27,271
I was always respected in the army.

1225
00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:30,374
My wickedness was hid from the eyes of my superiors.

1226
00:43:30,374 --> 00:43:31,475
I was like the master.

1227
00:43:31,475 --> 00:43:33,577
I served subtle,

1228
00:43:33,577 --> 00:43:36,580
but my ways and doings were not hid from God.

1229
00:43:36,580 --> 00:43:39,683
I look to men to please them and get their esteem

1230
00:43:39,683 --> 00:43:41,552
and escape. Being flogged.

1231
00:43:41,552 --> 00:43:43,821
But God was not in all my thoughts.

1232
00:43:43,821 --> 00:43:46,957
I practiced iniquity with greediness in secret

1233
00:43:46,957 --> 00:43:50,894
and in public, without shame and times without number.

1234
00:43:50,894 --> 00:43:52,696
And yet my officers never found me out

1235
00:43:52,696 --> 00:43:55,532
but once, which I will relate afterwards,

1236
00:43:55,532 --> 00:43:56,767
at the Cape of Good Hope,

1237
00:43:56,767 --> 00:43:58,402
officers from various regiments

1238
00:43:58,402 --> 00:44:00,437
were arriving to join their units.

1239
00:44:00,437 --> 00:44:01,472
Among them, two

1240
00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:03,641
officers had a dispute during their voyage

1241
00:44:03,641 --> 00:44:05,776
and agreed to settle it upon landing.

1242
00:44:05,776 --> 00:44:08,846
Lieutenant McKee from the 91st Regiment and Ensign

1243
00:44:08,846 --> 00:44:10,481
Monteith from the 81st Regiment

1244
00:44:10,481 --> 00:44:12,349
were the individuals involved.

1245
00:44:12,349 --> 00:44:14,184
They followed through with their duel

1246
00:44:14,184 --> 00:44:15,319
and unfortunately,

1247
00:44:15,319 --> 00:44:16,253
Lieutenant McKee's

1248
00:44:16,253 --> 00:44:19,556
shot struck Ensign Monteith below his right arm.

1249
00:44:19,556 --> 00:44:21,325
Ensign Monteith survived the injury

1250
00:44:21,325 --> 00:44:22,393
for about two weeks,

1251
00:44:22,393 --> 00:44:24,662
and I was selected by his company's captain

1252
00:44:24,662 --> 00:44:26,563
as a suitable person to care for him.

1253
00:44:26,563 --> 00:44:30,300
During his final days, I diligently attended to him,

1254
00:44:30,300 --> 00:44:32,603
always prepared with a basin to catch the blood

1255
00:44:32,603 --> 00:44:33,904
he coughed up

1256
00:44:33,904 --> 00:44:36,440
due to the demanding nature of his care,

1257
00:44:36,440 --> 00:44:38,575
I enlisted another person's help

1258
00:44:38,575 --> 00:44:41,812
and we alternated shifts to ensure constant vigilance.

1259
00:44:41,812 --> 00:44:43,847
I remember one time I got him out of bed

1260
00:44:43,847 --> 00:44:45,983
and propped him up with pillows in a chair,

1261
00:44:45,983 --> 00:44:47,418
when suddenly he gave a cough

1262
00:44:47,418 --> 00:44:49,053
and his heart's blood came out of his mouth

1263
00:44:49,053 --> 00:44:50,821
into the basin in my hand.

1264
00:44:50,821 --> 00:44:53,223
The last words I heard him say were,

1265
00:44:53,223 --> 00:44:56,460
oh Lord, I'm gone, on which he expired.

1266
00:44:56,460 --> 00:44:58,295
And I burst into tears.

1267
00:44:58,295 --> 00:44:59,596
My assistant inform

1268
00:44:59,596 --> 00:45:00,597
my fellow companions

1269
00:45:00,597 --> 00:45:01,632
in the company

1270
00:45:01,632 --> 00:45:04,668
that I wept upon his passing, and they ridiculed me.

1271
00:45:04,668 --> 00:45:07,604
Now we shall witness the deceitfulness of the heart.

1272
00:45:07,604 --> 00:45:10,774
The departed left behind a Bible I had none.

1273
00:45:10,774 --> 00:45:12,209
When I informed the officer,

1274
00:45:12,209 --> 00:45:13,210
captain McLaren,

1275
00:45:13,210 --> 00:45:14,211
who was responsible

1276
00:45:14,211 --> 00:45:16,547
for managing the deceased's belongings,

1277
00:45:16,547 --> 00:45:17,481
that the deceased

1278
00:45:17,481 --> 00:45:18,415
had instructed me

1279
00:45:18,415 --> 00:45:20,984
to acquire the Bible upon his demise.

1280
00:45:20,984 --> 00:45:23,287
Although he had never uttered such words,

1281
00:45:23,287 --> 00:45:24,955
I was engaging in deceit

1282
00:45:24,955 --> 00:45:27,391
to claim possession of God's truth.

1283
00:45:27,391 --> 00:45:30,828
By obtaining the Bible through deceit, I became guilty

1284
00:45:30,828 --> 00:45:33,330
of both covetousness and falsehood,

1285
00:45:33,330 --> 00:45:36,066
both of which it condemns

1286
00:45:36,066 --> 00:45:37,000
the conduct of

1287
00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:39,002
soldiers, both in our cities

1288
00:45:39,002 --> 00:45:42,239
and even in their own homes, often reveals three grave

1289
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:46,610
sins drunkenness, swearing, and the most egregious

1290
00:45:46,610 --> 00:45:47,277
of all

1291
00:45:47,277 --> 00:45:48,746
the defilement of both soul

1292
00:45:48,746 --> 00:45:50,781
and body through immorality.

1293
00:45:50,781 --> 00:45:53,817
While other sins may not directly involve the body,

1294
00:45:53,817 --> 00:45:56,253
uncleanness directly impacts it.

1295
00:45:56,253 --> 00:45:58,322
This behavior is commonly observed

1296
00:45:58,322 --> 00:46:00,023
wherever soldiers go,

1297
00:46:00,023 --> 00:46:02,392
but it is often more restrained at home

1298
00:46:02,392 --> 00:46:04,695
due to the presence of family and friends,

1299
00:46:04,695 --> 00:46:07,364
as well as the oversight of law enforcement.

1300
00:46:07,364 --> 00:46:10,734
However, when abroad, all restraint is abandoned.

1301
00:46:10,734 --> 00:46:12,402
Reflecting on my own past,

1302
00:46:12,402 --> 00:46:14,004
I am deeply ashamed to admit

1303
00:46:14,004 --> 00:46:15,439
that I was guilty of these three

1304
00:46:15,439 --> 00:46:16,540
heinous sins

1305
00:46:16,540 --> 00:46:19,910
and even went so far as to abandon all sense of shame.

1306
00:46:19,910 --> 00:46:21,745
I behaved worse than an animal,

1307
00:46:21,745 --> 00:46:22,713
and I am hesitant

1308
00:46:22,713 --> 00:46:24,214
to speak of the shameful things

1309
00:46:24,214 --> 00:46:24,782
I did,

1310
00:46:24,782 --> 00:46:27,151
especially during my time in the Cape of Good Hope

1311
00:46:27,151 --> 00:46:28,952
and in the East Indies.

1312
00:46:28,952 --> 00:46:31,922
The sentiment of Psalm 14 to 1 the fool

1313
00:46:31,922 --> 00:46:34,258
hath said in his heart that there is no God

1314
00:46:34,258 --> 00:46:35,859
echoed in my heart.

1315
00:46:35,859 --> 00:46:37,494
I often marvel at the immense

1316
00:46:37,494 --> 00:46:40,063
patience and forbearance of God toward me,

1317
00:46:40,063 --> 00:46:42,332
a sinner of the highest degree.

1318
00:46:42,332 --> 00:46:45,302
Surely few have been more deserving of divine judgment

1319
00:46:45,302 --> 00:46:46,436
than I.

1320
00:46:46,436 --> 00:46:48,305
I have read the life of John Bunyan,

1321
00:46:48,305 --> 00:46:52,009
yet his experiences pale in comparison to my own.

1322
00:46:52,009 --> 00:46:53,510
It is only through the boundless

1323
00:46:53,510 --> 00:46:56,880
mercy of the Lord that I was not consumed in my sins,

1324
00:46:56,880 --> 00:46:59,149
unlike many of my ungodly companions

1325
00:46:59,149 --> 00:47:00,951
who now reside in hell.

1326
00:47:00,951 --> 00:47:04,288
Perhaps they now curse me for my role in leading them

1327
00:47:04,288 --> 00:47:06,390
to that place of eternal torment,

1328
00:47:06,390 --> 00:47:08,425
where their worm dieth not,

1329
00:47:08,425 --> 00:47:10,527
and the fire is never quenched.

1330
00:47:10,527 --> 00:47:13,797
Many died in their sins, and Jesus himself declares,

1331
00:47:13,797 --> 00:47:17,067
where I am, thither you cannot come.

1332
00:47:17,067 --> 00:47:18,836
Heaven is his dwelling place,

1333
00:47:18,836 --> 00:47:21,438
and those who die in their sins cannot enter.

1334
00:47:21,438 --> 00:47:23,407
Thankfully, we are saved from this fate

1335
00:47:23,407 --> 00:47:26,243
by believing in Jesus Christ as the Son of God,

1336
00:47:26,243 --> 00:47:27,477
who bore the weight of our sins

1337
00:47:27,477 --> 00:47:29,947
on the cross, reconciling us to God.

1338
00:47:29,947 --> 00:47:31,982
When I first joined the army and was in Chatham,

1339
00:47:31,982 --> 00:47:33,884
it struck me to see soldiers wives

1340
00:47:33,884 --> 00:47:35,519
laundering and preparing men's shirts.

1341
00:47:35,519 --> 00:47:37,020
On the Lord's Day.

1342
00:47:37,020 --> 00:47:38,488
My surprise grew in Guernsey,

1343
00:47:38,488 --> 00:47:39,289
witnessing men

1344
00:47:39,289 --> 00:47:42,492
drinking, swearing and brawling on the Sabbath.

1345
00:47:42,492 --> 00:47:44,027
Yet at the Cape of Good Hope,

1346
00:47:44,027 --> 00:47:46,530
the situation seemed even graver.

1347
00:47:46,530 --> 00:47:48,532
Their men were not just drinking,

1348
00:47:48,532 --> 00:47:50,133
swearing and fighting,

1349
00:47:50,133 --> 00:47:51,602
but also belting out

1350
00:47:51,602 --> 00:47:52,636
vulgar songs

1351
00:47:52,636 --> 00:47:55,038
and indulging in all sorts of immoral behavior

1352
00:47:55,038 --> 00:47:57,808
with abandon, particularly on the Lord's Day.

1353
00:47:57,808 --> 00:48:00,611
Additionally, I observed them engaging in gambling,

1354
00:48:00,611 --> 00:48:03,547
whether through card games or pitch and toss.

1355
00:48:03,547 --> 00:48:06,250
Initially, my shock was not out of a personal devotion

1356
00:48:06,250 --> 00:48:06,984
to sanctity

1357
00:48:06,984 --> 00:48:08,719
or a disdain for sin,

1358
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:11,388
but rather due to my upbringing in Scotland.

1359
00:48:11,388 --> 00:48:13,023
It's with a sense of embarrassment

1360
00:48:13,023 --> 00:48:14,858
and shame that I discuss,

1361
00:48:14,858 --> 00:48:16,860
think about, or write on these matters,

1362
00:48:16,860 --> 00:48:19,129
especially realizing that I myself

1363
00:48:19,129 --> 00:48:21,665
indulge in all the misdeeds I've mentioned,

1364
00:48:21,665 --> 00:48:24,501
among others, too numerous to list.

1365
00:48:24,501 --> 00:48:27,371
One concerning aspect I need to address about the army

1366
00:48:27,371 --> 00:48:30,040
is the widespread immorality among our soldiers

1367
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,109
when they are stationed overseas.

1368
00:48:32,109 --> 00:48:33,510
I've seen that a soldier,

1369
00:48:33,510 --> 00:48:35,312
if he lacks grace in his heart,

1370
00:48:35,312 --> 00:48:37,648
can be quickly influenced by his peers

1371
00:48:37,648 --> 00:48:38,982
into indulging in all sorts

1372
00:48:38,982 --> 00:48:40,984
of debauchery and blasphemy.

1373
00:48:40,984 --> 00:48:43,120
Even a soldier who starts with a strong moral

1374
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:44,254
character can see it

1375
00:48:44,254 --> 00:48:47,157
erode under the influence of evil communications

1376
00:48:47,157 --> 00:48:49,159
which corrupt good manners.

1377
00:48:49,159 --> 00:48:49,993
It's difficult

1378
00:48:49,993 --> 00:48:51,862
for someone to pretend to be something

1379
00:48:51,862 --> 00:48:53,897
they're not in the army for long.

1380
00:48:53,897 --> 00:48:57,200
If a soldier professes to be a Christian, that claim

1381
00:48:57,200 --> 00:49:00,570
will be rigorously tested through intense persecution.

1382
00:49:00,570 --> 00:49:02,205
Yet when a soldier is tested

1383
00:49:02,205 --> 00:49:04,408
and through the grace of God, manages

1384
00:49:04,408 --> 00:49:05,409
to steadfastly live

1385
00:49:05,409 --> 00:49:07,411
according to his Christian beliefs,

1386
00:49:07,411 --> 00:49:10,647
he earns respect, even from the most irreligious.

1387
00:49:10,647 --> 00:49:12,149
I know this to be true

1388
00:49:12,149 --> 00:49:13,750
in my writings about the Cape,

1389
00:49:13,750 --> 00:49:16,353
I found myself eager to move on quickly.

1390
00:49:16,353 --> 00:49:18,655
However, I realized that my haste stemmed

1391
00:49:18,655 --> 00:49:20,691
from a deep sense of shame over

1392
00:49:20,691 --> 00:49:22,025
the ungodly behaviors

1393
00:49:22,025 --> 00:49:24,194
I had engaged in while living there.

1394
00:49:24,194 --> 00:49:26,797
Yet I also recognized that my shame before

1395
00:49:26,797 --> 00:49:27,931
the eyes of God,

1396
00:49:27,931 --> 00:49:31,201
who sees not just one sin but all sins, far

1397
00:49:31,201 --> 00:49:32,703
outweighed any embarrassment

1398
00:49:32,703 --> 00:49:34,738
I might feel before others.

1399
00:49:34,738 --> 00:49:37,941
While humans may only see the outward appearance,

1400
00:49:37,941 --> 00:49:41,912
God sees directly into our hearts, as it is written,

1401
00:49:41,912 --> 00:49:44,281
all things are naked and open unto the eyes of him

1402
00:49:44,281 --> 00:49:45,983
with whom we have to do.

1403
00:49:45,983 --> 00:49:48,819
The one who witnesses all our actions now

1404
00:49:48,819 --> 00:49:51,621
will one day serve as our impartial judge.

1405
00:49:51,621 --> 00:49:53,457
We may attempt to hide our sins,

1406
00:49:53,457 --> 00:49:56,093
just as Adam did among the trees of the garden,

1407
00:49:56,093 --> 00:49:57,094
and cloak ourselves

1408
00:49:57,094 --> 00:49:58,862
in fig leaves of respectability

1409
00:49:58,862 --> 00:50:00,364
and outward profession.

1410
00:50:00,364 --> 00:50:01,932
Yet on the day of judgment

1411
00:50:01,932 --> 00:50:03,667
there will be no disguises

1412
00:50:03,667 --> 00:50:06,303
if we do not confront our sins here and now,

1413
00:50:06,303 --> 00:50:08,038
bringing them to the cross of Christ

1414
00:50:08,038 --> 00:50:10,007
and repenting with genuine sorrow,

1415
00:50:10,007 --> 00:50:13,076
we can be certain that our sins will be exposed there.

1416
00:50:13,076 --> 00:50:15,045
May the Lord grant us the faithfulness

1417
00:50:15,045 --> 00:50:16,246
to confront ourselves

1418
00:50:16,246 --> 00:50:18,415
while the door of mercy remains open.

1419
00:50:18,415 --> 00:50:20,283
And may he save us from the folly

1420
00:50:20,283 --> 00:50:22,019
of covering our sins,

1421
00:50:22,019 --> 00:50:25,188
for he that cover of his sins shall not prosper.

1422
00:50:25,188 --> 00:50:27,124
But whoso confess it and forsake

1423
00:50:27,124 --> 00:50:28,925
it, them shall have mercy.

1424
00:50:28,925 --> 00:50:30,961
Proverbs 2813.

1425
00:50:30,961 --> 00:50:33,397
It is not enough to merely claim belief.

1426
00:50:33,397 --> 00:50:35,966
True belief is evidenced by repentance.

1427
00:50:35,966 --> 00:50:39,036
God has in separately linked belief and repentance,

1428
00:50:39,036 --> 00:50:41,371
and let no one attempt to separate them.

1429
00:50:41,371 --> 00:50:42,906
Believe and be saved.

1430
00:50:42,906 --> 00:50:45,575
Repent and be forgiven.

1431
00:50:45,575 --> 00:50:46,309
I previously

1432
00:50:46,309 --> 00:50:46,810
mentioned that

1433
00:50:46,810 --> 00:50:47,911
our journey from the Cape

1434
00:50:47,911 --> 00:50:50,313
to Calcutta took about four months.

1435
00:50:50,313 --> 00:50:52,115
Remarkably, I don't recall any deaths

1436
00:50:52,115 --> 00:50:53,717
occurring during that time.

1437
00:50:53,717 --> 00:50:55,786
Everyone on board remained healthy.

1438
00:50:55,786 --> 00:50:58,655
However, due to the lengthy duration of our voyage,

1439
00:50:58,655 --> 00:51:01,591
we found ourselves running low on both wood and water,

1440
00:51:01,591 --> 00:51:02,893
leaving us without the means

1441
00:51:02,893 --> 00:51:04,995
to cook our food for two weeks.

1442
00:51:04,995 --> 00:51:08,098
Consequently, we had to anchor near land and dispatch

1443
00:51:08,098 --> 00:51:11,501
a boat to shore to obtain these essential supplies.

1444
00:51:11,501 --> 00:51:14,137
Despite our efforts, the local inhabitants

1445
00:51:14,137 --> 00:51:17,374
refuse to provide us with wood or water, regardless

1446
00:51:17,374 --> 00:51:18,842
of whether we offered payment

1447
00:51:18,842 --> 00:51:20,877
or appealed to their goodwill.

1448
00:51:20,877 --> 00:51:22,112
Faced with this dilemma,

1449
00:51:22,112 --> 00:51:23,580
we managed to bring the local king

1450
00:51:23,580 --> 00:51:25,949
aboard our ship and gifted him a watch,

1451
00:51:25,949 --> 00:51:27,818
which he took great pride in.

1452
00:51:27,818 --> 00:51:29,619
While the King was on our ship,

1453
00:51:29,619 --> 00:51:33,523
a large group was sent ashore equipped with axes, saws

1454
00:51:33,523 --> 00:51:37,461
for cutting wood and big barrels for water collection.

1455
00:51:37,461 --> 00:51:40,230
Our mission was to obtain these resources by force

1456
00:51:40,230 --> 00:51:41,465
if necessary.

1457
00:51:41,465 --> 00:51:44,701
A contingent of armed soldiers, myself included,

1458
00:51:44,701 --> 00:51:47,804
was dispatched for protection upon landing.

1459
00:51:47,804 --> 00:51:50,340
Our first command was to prepare our weapons.

1460
00:51:50,340 --> 00:51:50,740
We were

1461
00:51:50,740 --> 00:51:52,075
then stationed as guards

1462
00:51:52,075 --> 00:51:53,510
to ensure the safety of those

1463
00:51:53,510 --> 00:51:54,711
collecting wood and water,

1464
00:51:54,711 --> 00:51:57,047
until we had gathered enough supplies.

1465
00:51:57,047 --> 00:51:59,216
My assigned location was on the beach,

1466
00:51:59,216 --> 00:52:00,884
tasked with preventing the locals

1467
00:52:00,884 --> 00:52:02,352
from seizing our boat.

1468
00:52:02,352 --> 00:52:05,489
The native population outnumbered us significantly,

1469
00:52:05,489 --> 00:52:07,390
making our task daunting.

1470
00:52:07,390 --> 00:52:08,792
Success seemed unlikely

1471
00:52:08,792 --> 00:52:09,659
without the advantage

1472
00:52:09,659 --> 00:52:12,028
of having their king aboard our vessel.

1473
00:52:12,028 --> 00:52:13,630
After returning on board,

1474
00:52:13,630 --> 00:52:16,166
a large ship pursued us for a good while.

1475
00:52:16,166 --> 00:52:19,002
The officers of the ship thought that it was a pirate.

1476
00:52:19,002 --> 00:52:21,371
We escaped by sailing near the land.

1477
00:52:21,371 --> 00:52:23,974
The pirate, being a larger ship than ours,

1478
00:52:23,974 --> 00:52:26,643
could not sail in low water as we did

1479
00:52:26,643 --> 00:52:27,544
so, she left us

1480
00:52:27,544 --> 00:52:30,347
and we at last anchored in Diamond Harbor.

1481
00:52:30,347 --> 00:52:32,749
I may remark that large ships cannot come nearer

1482
00:52:32,749 --> 00:52:34,751
to Calcutta than Diamond Harbor.

1483
00:52:34,751 --> 00:52:37,621
It is here that the river Ganges and the sea meet.

1484
00:52:37,621 --> 00:52:39,189
There were boats ready when we arrived

1485
00:52:39,189 --> 00:52:40,790
to receive the king's troops,

1486
00:52:40,790 --> 00:52:43,260
and to bring us up the Ganges to Fort William,

1487
00:52:43,260 --> 00:52:45,061
which is at a considerable distance

1488
00:52:45,061 --> 00:52:46,496
from Diamond Harbor.

1489
00:52:46,496 --> 00:52:47,831
These boats are covered over

1490
00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:50,167
like a house to keep us from the sun.

1491
00:52:50,167 --> 00:52:51,301
The honorable company

1492
00:52:51,301 --> 00:52:51,635
sent us

1493
00:52:51,635 --> 00:52:53,403
plenty of fresh provisions

1494
00:52:53,403 --> 00:52:56,106
and everything that was for our comfort.

1495
00:52:56,106 --> 00:52:56,940
At that time.

1496
00:52:56,940 --> 00:52:59,242
Private soldiers were treated in India

1497
00:52:59,242 --> 00:53:01,278
as if they had been officers.

1498
00:53:01,278 --> 00:53:04,281
We disembarked a little way from Fort William.

1499
00:53:04,281 --> 00:53:06,349
I was in good health when I landed,

1500
00:53:06,349 --> 00:53:09,286
and it is remarkable that as soon as I put my foot

1501
00:53:09,286 --> 00:53:12,722
upon Indian ground, both my knees went to the ground.

1502
00:53:12,722 --> 00:53:14,491
On stepping out of the boat.

1503
00:53:14,491 --> 00:53:16,459
It was about six years after this

1504
00:53:16,459 --> 00:53:17,961
that I was brought in reality

1505
00:53:17,961 --> 00:53:20,263
to bend before a throne of grace,

1506
00:53:20,263 --> 00:53:23,700
and to cry with prayers and tears for mercy.

1507
00:53:23,700 --> 00:53:25,669
There is nothing new under God.

1508
00:53:25,669 --> 00:53:27,671
He knows the end from the beginning.

1509
00:53:27,671 --> 00:53:28,905
Although the Lord, for ends

1510
00:53:28,905 --> 00:53:30,207
only known to himself,

1511
00:53:30,207 --> 00:53:32,442
left me to the will of my own loss.

1512
00:53:32,442 --> 00:53:34,244
Yet he was determined to save.

1513
00:53:34,244 --> 00:53:35,946
However, after all the dangers

1514
00:53:35,946 --> 00:53:37,881
the Lord delivered me from whilst

1515
00:53:37,881 --> 00:53:40,817
bringing me in health and strength safe to land,

1516
00:53:40,817 --> 00:53:42,719
I never thought upon his goodness.

1517
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:44,854
I repaid that with ingratitude

1518
00:53:44,854 --> 00:53:47,824
and still went on in my trespasses, adding sin

1519
00:53:47,824 --> 00:53:52,095
to sin, drunkenness unto thirst, one unclean

1520
00:53:52,095 --> 00:53:53,697
in base action to another,

1521
00:53:53,697 --> 00:53:56,066
until I polluted both soul and body,

1522
00:53:56,066 --> 00:53:57,434
and at last brought myself

1523
00:53:57,434 --> 00:53:59,636
to be incapable of doing duty.

1524
00:53:59,636 --> 00:53:59,936
I was

1525
00:53:59,936 --> 00:54:01,137
then sent to the hospital

1526
00:54:01,137 --> 00:54:03,173
and remained there for six months.

1527
00:54:03,173 --> 00:54:04,374
During the time I was there,

1528
00:54:04,374 --> 00:54:06,243
the soldiers were dying every day,

1529
00:54:06,243 --> 00:54:08,712
and sometimes a great many every day.

1530
00:54:08,712 --> 00:54:09,446
One morning

1531
00:54:09,446 --> 00:54:09,879
I entered

1532
00:54:09,879 --> 00:54:11,715
the room used for examining bodies

1533
00:54:11,715 --> 00:54:13,750
after they had passed away.

1534
00:54:13,750 --> 00:54:15,919
The sight of numerous bodies,

1535
00:54:15,919 --> 00:54:19,189
freshly dissected was stark before me,

1536
00:54:19,189 --> 00:54:22,292
reminding me of nothing less than a butcher's shop.

1537
00:54:22,292 --> 00:54:24,361
Yet this sight left me unfazed.

1538
00:54:24,361 --> 00:54:27,264
Death occurred near me, with one of my companions

1539
00:54:27,264 --> 00:54:30,166
passing away in my arms as I tried to lift him.

1540
00:54:30,166 --> 00:54:31,868
Despite these experiences,

1541
00:54:31,868 --> 00:54:34,504
they failed to leave a lasting impact on me.

1542
00:54:34,504 --> 00:54:36,940
Once I recovered and left the hospital,

1543
00:54:36,940 --> 00:54:40,110
I fell back into my old ways with my companions

1544
00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:42,345
engaging in wrongdoing.

1545
00:54:42,345 --> 00:54:43,747
Instead of improving.

1546
00:54:43,747 --> 00:54:45,215
I am ashamed to admit

1547
00:54:45,215 --> 00:54:49,452
I became even more callous, emboldened in my sins.

1548
00:54:49,452 --> 00:54:51,254
The sudden deaths of others around me

1549
00:54:51,254 --> 00:54:53,423
did nothing to change my path.

1550
00:54:53,423 --> 00:54:56,893
The roll call of each company, listed alphabetically,

1551
00:54:56,893 --> 00:54:58,161
showed the names of the man

1552
00:54:58,161 --> 00:55:01,298
before me, and the man after me both had died.

1553
00:55:01,298 --> 00:55:04,067
Yet this did not deter me from my behaviors.

1554
00:55:04,067 --> 00:55:05,235
The depth of my heart's

1555
00:55:05,235 --> 00:55:06,569
hardness and depravity

1556
00:55:06,569 --> 00:55:09,439
was evident in my godless lifestyle.

1557
00:55:09,439 --> 00:55:12,809
I had the worst companions in the company I belong to.

1558
00:55:12,809 --> 00:55:15,979
We competed to see who could excel in intemperance,

1559
00:55:15,979 --> 00:55:17,180
foul language,

1560
00:55:17,180 --> 00:55:20,350
and every manner of vice, and we took pride in it.

1561
00:55:20,350 --> 00:55:22,252
It astonishes me that the earth didn't

1562
00:55:22,252 --> 00:55:26,289
open up and swallow me and my ungodly associates hole,

1563
00:55:26,289 --> 00:55:29,659
or that amidst the frequent thunderstorms of Bengal,

1564
00:55:29,659 --> 00:55:32,462
God didn't cast me into hell with all my sins,

1565
00:55:32,462 --> 00:55:35,999
making me as wretched as I had made myself sinful.

1566
00:55:35,999 --> 00:55:38,401
Instead, the Lord showed me kindness,

1567
00:55:38,401 --> 00:55:42,305
granting me health, sparing my life, and rescuing me

1568
00:55:42,305 --> 00:55:43,173
from many dangers

1569
00:55:43,173 --> 00:55:43,873
and diseases

1570
00:55:43,873 --> 00:55:45,241
that claimed the lives of nearly

1571
00:55:45,241 --> 00:55:47,310
all my ungodly companions.

1572
00:55:47,310 --> 00:55:49,112
Oh, the patience of God in Christ

1573
00:55:49,112 --> 00:55:52,615
towards me, surpassing that shown to thousands.

1574
00:55:52,615 --> 00:55:54,184
Perhaps I was the worst of all.

1575
00:55:54,184 --> 00:55:56,886
And to my shame, I sought to test his patience

1576
00:55:56,886 --> 00:55:59,489
and misuse the blessings of his providence,

1577
00:55:59,489 --> 00:56:02,492
turning them into weapons of rebellion against him.

1578
00:56:02,492 --> 00:56:04,994
My greatest and most benevolent friend.

1579
00:56:04,994 --> 00:56:05,929
This illustrates

1580
00:56:05,929 --> 00:56:07,030
the extreme nature,

1581
00:56:07,030 --> 00:56:10,233
an egregious sinfulness of my transgressions.

1582
00:56:10,233 --> 00:56:12,535
I lack the words to fully describe it,

1583
00:56:12,535 --> 00:56:14,971
but let us continue.

1584
00:56:14,971 --> 00:56:16,706
While stationed at Fort William,

1585
00:56:16,706 --> 00:56:18,908
war erupted, initially breaking out

1586
00:56:18,908 --> 00:56:21,211
approximately 100 miles away.

1587
00:56:21,211 --> 00:56:22,545
A portion of our regiment,

1588
00:56:22,545 --> 00:56:25,515
accompanied by native soldiers and artillery units,

1589
00:56:25,515 --> 00:56:27,384
was deployed to the conflict zone

1590
00:56:27,384 --> 00:56:29,586
where they besieged the fort.

1591
00:56:29,586 --> 00:56:31,087
During the siege, as the soldiers

1592
00:56:31,087 --> 00:56:32,288
slept on the ground at night,

1593
00:56:32,288 --> 00:56:34,057
tigers ventured among them.

1594
00:56:34,057 --> 00:56:34,891
On one occasion,

1595
00:56:34,891 --> 00:56:36,192
a tiger seized a sepoy,

1596
00:56:36,192 --> 00:56:38,228
lifting him onto its back and carrying him away.

1597
00:56:38,228 --> 00:56:39,796
Alive as prey.

1598
00:56:39,796 --> 00:56:42,966
The sepoy lay alongside a white man near the guns.

1599
00:56:42,966 --> 00:56:44,033
In the same area,

1600
00:56:44,033 --> 00:56:45,668
our soldiers witnessed Hindus

1601
00:56:45,668 --> 00:56:47,637
preparing to immolate a living woman

1602
00:56:47,637 --> 00:56:49,606
along with her deceased husband.

1603
00:56:49,606 --> 00:56:51,908
In accordance with the practice of Saathi.

1604
00:56:51,908 --> 00:56:52,842
They intervened

1605
00:56:52,842 --> 00:56:54,744
and rescued the woman from the multitude

1606
00:56:54,744 --> 00:56:56,679
gathered to witness the ritual,

1607
00:56:56,679 --> 00:56:59,182
which has long been practiced in India.

1608
00:56:59,182 --> 00:57:01,117
Following their victory over the enemy,

1609
00:57:01,117 --> 00:57:03,486
they brought the woman back to the regiment.

1610
00:57:03,486 --> 00:57:06,122
I am informed that they subsequently employed her

1611
00:57:06,122 --> 00:57:07,290
as a cook.

1612
00:57:07,290 --> 00:57:09,259
The second war that broke out was at a place

1613
00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:10,960
which is called Bearpaw.

1614
00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:12,896
I think it is about a thousand miles

1615
00:57:12,896 --> 00:57:14,397
from Fort William.

1616
00:57:14,397 --> 00:57:16,866
General Lake was there, besieging a strong fort

1617
00:57:16,866 --> 00:57:18,234
with a number of regiments,

1618
00:57:18,234 --> 00:57:22,105
when two of the flank companies of the 22nd Regiment

1619
00:57:22,105 --> 00:57:24,407
were called for to go and assist them.

1620
00:57:24,407 --> 00:57:27,210
Each company consisted of 100 strong, clever

1621
00:57:27,210 --> 00:57:29,846
young men, the picked men of the regiment.

1622
00:57:29,846 --> 00:57:32,215
They were all killed except about 70,

1623
00:57:32,215 --> 00:57:35,151
and the most of the 70 were dreadfully wounded.

1624
00:57:35,151 --> 00:57:37,687
The fort, however, was not conquered.

1625
00:57:37,687 --> 00:57:41,391
They sent a flag of truce and came to terms of peace.

1626
00:57:41,391 --> 00:57:43,860
The next conflict involved a well known bandit leader

1627
00:57:43,860 --> 00:57:47,130
who controlled a sizable force, all on horseback.

1628
00:57:47,130 --> 00:57:48,898
His name was Holkar.

1629
00:57:48,898 --> 00:57:52,101
A military campaign was launched to chase him down,

1630
00:57:52,101 --> 00:57:53,503
requiring the full deployment

1631
00:57:53,503 --> 00:57:55,772
of my regiment from Fort William.

1632
00:57:55,772 --> 00:57:58,007
Fort William is an important stronghold.

1633
00:57:58,007 --> 00:58:01,110
Located roughly three miles from Calcutta.

1634
00:58:01,110 --> 00:58:02,612
It boasts close to 1000

1635
00:58:02,612 --> 00:58:05,849
cannons and is encircled by a wide moat.

1636
00:58:05,849 --> 00:58:07,584
Before we left Fort William,

1637
00:58:07,584 --> 00:58:10,053
I have some encouraging news to share.

1638
00:58:10,053 --> 00:58:11,554
God sent his messengers

1639
00:58:11,554 --> 00:58:12,388
from Calcutta

1640
00:58:12,388 --> 00:58:13,490
to spread the gospel

1641
00:58:13,490 --> 00:58:15,625
to the members of the 22nd Regiment.

1642
00:58:15,625 --> 00:58:17,193
During our time there,

1643
00:58:17,193 --> 00:58:19,896
a group of Baptist missionaries and a schoolmaster

1644
00:58:19,896 --> 00:58:21,698
made an unexpected visit

1645
00:58:21,698 --> 00:58:24,167
without any official invitation.

1646
00:58:24,167 --> 00:58:24,701
At first,

1647
00:58:24,701 --> 00:58:26,703
the officers didn't allow them to visit,

1648
00:58:26,703 --> 00:58:28,171
which only made the missionaries

1649
00:58:28,171 --> 00:58:29,772
more determined to come

1650
00:58:29,772 --> 00:58:30,673
and the soldiers

1651
00:58:30,673 --> 00:58:32,976
more eager to hear what they had to say

1652
00:58:32,976 --> 00:58:34,844
before the missionaries came.

1653
00:58:34,844 --> 00:58:36,246
I believe our regiment didn't

1654
00:58:36,246 --> 00:58:38,848
have a single person with genuine faith.

1655
00:58:38,848 --> 00:58:41,017
There wasn't even a hint of religious practice

1656
00:58:41,017 --> 00:58:41,951
among us.

1657
00:58:41,951 --> 00:58:43,453
I remember much later,

1658
00:58:43,453 --> 00:58:45,622
since I used to avoid them back then

1659
00:58:45,622 --> 00:58:47,590
caught up in wrongdoings.

1660
00:58:47,590 --> 00:58:51,094
A soldier mentioned God use that humble schoolmaster

1661
00:58:51,094 --> 00:58:53,830
to spark a fire in the 22nd Regiment,

1662
00:58:53,830 --> 00:58:55,932
a fire that not all the powers of darkness

1663
00:58:55,932 --> 00:58:57,233
could put out.

1664
00:58:57,233 --> 00:58:59,736
That man, I believe, found his faith, and

1665
00:58:59,736 --> 00:59:03,139
along with a few others, formed a congregation.

1666
00:59:03,139 --> 00:59:04,507
They gathered regularly,

1667
00:59:04,507 --> 00:59:05,675
encouraging each other

1668
00:59:05,675 --> 00:59:06,876
through the scriptures,

1669
00:59:06,876 --> 00:59:10,213
praying together and singing praises to God.

1670
00:59:10,213 --> 00:59:12,415
They met for worship every day,

1671
00:59:12,415 --> 00:59:14,284
maintaining the spiritual fervor

1672
00:59:14,284 --> 00:59:17,086
ignited by the humble efforts of a schoolmaster

1673
00:59:17,086 --> 00:59:18,555
who offered his services

1674
00:59:18,555 --> 00:59:22,592
out of love, expecting no worldly compensation.

1675
00:59:22,592 --> 00:59:25,128
After spending approximately 12 months

1676
00:59:25,128 --> 00:59:27,063
stationed at Fort William,

1677
00:59:27,063 --> 00:59:29,198
our time there came to an end.

1678
00:59:29,198 --> 00:59:32,535
We departed, crossing the Ganges just a short distance

1679
00:59:32,535 --> 00:59:34,938
from Calcutta, to reach the opposite bank

1680
00:59:34,938 --> 00:59:36,606
known as Sulky Side.

1681
00:59:36,606 --> 00:59:40,143
Before commencing our march into the interior.

1682
00:59:40,143 --> 00:59:42,946
Early into our journey, we encountered Monkey Wood,

1683
00:59:42,946 --> 00:59:43,479
an area

1684
00:59:43,479 --> 00:59:45,148
inhabited by large monkeys

1685
00:59:45,148 --> 00:59:48,084
that were revered and fed by the local inhabitants.

1686
00:59:48,084 --> 00:59:51,421
We were expressly instructed not to harm these monkeys

1687
00:59:51,421 --> 00:59:54,457
as they held sacred significance to the locals.

1688
00:59:54,457 --> 00:59:55,858
Any harm inflicted upon

1689
00:59:55,858 --> 00:59:56,960
them would have undoubtedly

1690
00:59:56,960 --> 00:59:58,861
sparked widespread outrage.

1691
00:59:58,861 --> 01:00:02,565
Remarkably, the monkeys displayed remarkable docility

1692
01:00:02,565 --> 01:00:04,033
throughout our passage,

1693
01:00:04,033 --> 01:00:09,172
and with this encounter we ventured further.

1694
01:00:09,172 --> 01:00:11,007
Chapter three

1695
01:00:11,007 --> 01:00:13,876
marching from Sin to Salvation.

1696
01:00:13,876 --> 01:00:16,212
Our next destination was Allahabad,

1697
01:00:16,212 --> 01:00:18,548
home to a garrison of European invalids

1698
01:00:18,548 --> 01:00:20,717
serving the honorable company.

1699
01:00:20,717 --> 01:00:21,150
There.

1700
01:00:21,150 --> 01:00:22,018
An institution

1701
01:00:22,018 --> 01:00:24,821
existed for women of disreputable backgrounds.

1702
01:00:24,821 --> 01:00:27,724
I must admit, throughout each place we visited,

1703
01:00:27,724 --> 01:00:31,194
my thoughts primarily fixated on women and alcohol.

1704
01:00:31,194 --> 01:00:33,563
I remained entrenched in moral depravity

1705
01:00:33,563 --> 01:00:34,831
and addiction,

1706
01:00:34,831 --> 01:00:38,234
leaving Allahabad at dawn to avoid the extreme heat,

1707
01:00:38,234 --> 01:00:39,502
we continued our march

1708
01:00:39,502 --> 01:00:40,903
until we found a pleasant spot

1709
01:00:40,903 --> 01:00:44,173
with water for our encampment, adhering to a routine

1710
01:00:44,173 --> 01:00:46,075
of moving only during the cooler hours

1711
01:00:46,075 --> 01:00:47,443
of the early morning.

1712
01:00:47,443 --> 01:00:50,380
This practice persisted until we reached Benaras,

1713
01:00:50,380 --> 01:00:52,982
a sprawling town located along the Ganges,

1714
01:00:52,982 --> 01:00:55,985
approximately 500 miles from Calcutta.

1715
01:00:55,985 --> 01:00:57,720
Each evening, the devout among us

1716
01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:00,256
sought out secluded spots for worship.

1717
01:01:00,256 --> 01:01:01,257
Meanwhile,

1718
01:01:01,257 --> 01:01:02,592
I indulged in wrongdoing

1719
01:01:02,592 --> 01:01:04,961
alongside my unrepentant peers.

1720
01:01:04,961 --> 01:01:06,029
On one occasion,

1721
01:01:06,029 --> 01:01:07,864
a few of us consumed a half gallon

1722
01:01:07,864 --> 01:01:09,999
of a potent liquor called arrack,

1723
01:01:09,999 --> 01:01:12,035
heedless of the eternal consequences,

1724
01:01:12,035 --> 01:01:15,304
living as though we lacked souls in need of salvation.

1725
01:01:15,304 --> 01:01:17,340
God was absent from our thoughts,

1726
01:01:17,340 --> 01:01:19,342
and we submerged any contemplations

1727
01:01:19,342 --> 01:01:20,677
of our spiritual state

1728
01:01:20,677 --> 01:01:23,513
in drunken revelry, offending God,

1729
01:01:23,513 --> 01:01:25,048
harming our bodies and souls,

1730
01:01:25,048 --> 01:01:27,250
and leading one another astray.

1731
01:01:27,250 --> 01:01:28,384
In stark contrast,

1732
01:01:28,384 --> 01:01:30,386
the godly soldiers frequently engaged

1733
01:01:30,386 --> 01:01:32,121
in spiritual discussions,

1734
01:01:32,121 --> 01:01:32,889
their devotion

1735
01:01:32,889 --> 01:01:34,624
noticed by God himself,

1736
01:01:34,624 --> 01:01:37,293
as evidenced by a record of their faithfulness.

1737
01:01:37,293 --> 01:01:38,761
Their lives exemplified

1738
01:01:38,761 --> 01:01:40,697
adherence to God's commandments,

1739
01:01:40,697 --> 01:01:43,032
pursuit of spiritual salvation,

1740
01:01:43,032 --> 01:01:45,068
and maintenance of their well-being.

1741
01:01:45,068 --> 01:01:48,271
In sharp contrast to my destructive path,

1742
01:01:48,271 --> 01:01:50,740
my fleeting pleasures led to regret and sorrow

1743
01:01:50,740 --> 01:01:54,277
while they experienced profound, indescribable joy.

1744
01:01:54,277 --> 01:01:56,112
I was estranged from God.

1745
01:01:56,112 --> 01:01:59,015
They experienced reconciliation through Christ

1746
01:01:59,015 --> 01:02:01,417
without hope and lost his sin.

1747
01:02:01,417 --> 01:02:02,852
I was as troubled as a man

1748
01:02:02,852 --> 01:02:04,987
possessed with legions of demons.

1749
01:02:04,987 --> 01:02:07,657
They, however, lived in peace and sanity.

1750
01:02:07,657 --> 01:02:09,692
Indeed, the path of wrongdoing

1751
01:02:09,692 --> 01:02:11,094
is fraught with hardship,

1752
01:02:11,094 --> 01:02:13,663
a truth evident even in this life.

1753
01:02:13,663 --> 01:02:15,598
If grace does not prevent

1754
01:02:15,598 --> 01:02:18,434
this, hardship will persist for eternity.

1755
01:02:18,434 --> 01:02:21,104
From Benaras, our march continued for many days

1756
01:02:21,104 --> 01:02:22,672
until we reached Kanpur,

1757
01:02:22,672 --> 01:02:25,007
where we stayed for an extended period.

1758
01:02:25,007 --> 01:02:25,875
During this time

1759
01:02:25,875 --> 01:02:26,909
we were joined by men

1760
01:02:26,909 --> 01:02:29,612
from various regiments from Madras and Bombay

1761
01:02:29,612 --> 01:02:31,214
to fill our ranks.

1762
01:02:31,214 --> 01:02:33,316
While at the hospital in Kanpur,

1763
01:02:33,316 --> 01:02:36,319
I witnessed the aftermath of the battle at Bearpaw.

1764
01:02:36,319 --> 01:02:38,755
I saw soldiers with severe injuries.

1765
01:02:38,755 --> 01:02:41,057
Some had lost arms at the shoulder,

1766
01:02:41,057 --> 01:02:42,024
others had legs

1767
01:02:42,024 --> 01:02:42,992
amputated,

1768
01:02:42,992 --> 01:02:44,293
and many bore their bodies

1769
01:02:44,293 --> 01:02:46,496
riddled with wounds and scars.

1770
01:02:46,496 --> 01:02:47,497
In the hot climate,

1771
01:02:47,497 --> 01:02:50,133
wounds are particularly perilous in amid a foul odor

1772
01:02:50,133 --> 01:02:51,300
due to the heat,

1773
01:02:51,300 --> 01:02:53,269
I observed the distressing sight of marrow

1774
01:02:53,269 --> 01:02:54,537
melting from the bones of those

1775
01:02:54,537 --> 01:02:56,339
who had undergone amputation.

1776
01:02:56,339 --> 01:02:59,709
The grim realities of war were laid bare before me.

1777
01:02:59,709 --> 01:03:01,944
Not long after my hospital visit.

1778
01:03:01,944 --> 01:03:03,980
I too was stricken by illness.

1779
01:03:03,980 --> 01:03:06,149
I contracted fever and argue

1780
01:03:06,149 --> 01:03:07,917
in a sergeant from my regiment

1781
01:03:07,917 --> 01:03:09,952
suffering from the same ailments,

1782
01:03:09,952 --> 01:03:12,955
was admitted to the hospital alongside me.

1783
01:03:12,955 --> 01:03:14,657
We lay next to each other.

1784
01:03:14,657 --> 01:03:17,527
The eggs subsided in him, but the fever

1785
01:03:17,527 --> 01:03:20,997
persisted, ultimately leading to his death.

1786
01:03:20,997 --> 01:03:23,599
By some mercy, the Lord spared me

1787
01:03:23,599 --> 01:03:25,535
the more floored of the two

1788
01:03:25,535 --> 01:03:28,971
I recovered, only to revert to my former ways,

1789
01:03:28,971 --> 01:03:31,874
indulging once again in my evil habits.

1790
01:03:31,874 --> 01:03:33,442
Indeed, I must acknowledge

1791
01:03:33,442 --> 01:03:35,444
that my actions were grievously sinful

1792
01:03:35,444 --> 01:03:37,113
in the eyes of God,

1793
01:03:37,113 --> 01:03:39,582
despite his great mercy and sparing me

1794
01:03:39,582 --> 01:03:41,450
a truly unworthy individual.

1795
01:03:41,450 --> 01:03:43,619
While others perished around me,

1796
01:03:43,619 --> 01:03:46,756
my heart remained unyielding, cold, and indifferent.

1797
01:03:46,756 --> 01:03:50,359
Oh how blind, deluded, and insensate I was.

1798
01:03:50,359 --> 01:03:53,396
No acts of kindness, no divine warnings

1799
01:03:53,396 --> 01:03:56,299
and no judgments stirred my conscience.

1800
01:03:56,299 --> 01:03:58,935
I continued heedlessly on my destructive path,

1801
01:03:58,935 --> 01:03:59,802
reaching a point

1802
01:03:59,802 --> 01:04:01,704
where I conspired with a corporal,

1803
01:04:01,704 --> 01:04:04,006
a leading partner in my misdeeds.

1804
01:04:04,006 --> 01:04:05,408
We agreed that when it was his

1805
01:04:05,408 --> 01:04:06,776
turn to call the roll at night,

1806
01:04:06,776 --> 01:04:08,277
he would skip my name,

1807
01:04:08,277 --> 01:04:10,413
allowing me to spend the night away,

1808
01:04:10,413 --> 01:04:12,949
invariably in disreputable company.

1809
01:04:12,949 --> 01:04:13,783
I am deeply

1810
01:04:13,783 --> 01:04:15,852
ashamed by my past transgressions,

1811
01:04:15,852 --> 01:04:18,221
though at the time I took pride in them.

1812
01:04:18,221 --> 01:04:21,457
God be merciful to me, a sinner.

1813
01:04:21,457 --> 01:04:22,358
In Kanpur,

1814
01:04:22,358 --> 01:04:25,661
the 22nd Regiment was stationed in cantonments,

1815
01:04:25,661 --> 01:04:29,131
not typical barracks, but in lines of accommodation.

1816
01:04:29,131 --> 01:04:31,067
These accommodations consisted of ten

1817
01:04:31,067 --> 01:04:32,702
rows of thatched huts,

1818
01:04:32,702 --> 01:04:34,971
with each row assigned to a company.

1819
01:04:34,971 --> 01:04:37,573
The structures were elongated and narrow,

1820
01:04:37,573 --> 01:04:40,343
featuring numerous windows on both sides.

1821
01:04:40,343 --> 01:04:41,611
However, these windows

1822
01:04:41,611 --> 01:04:43,212
lacked both frames and glass,

1823
01:04:43,212 --> 01:04:45,581
instead utilizing matted shutters.

1824
01:04:45,581 --> 01:04:47,850
These shutters were positioned on the side

1825
01:04:47,850 --> 01:04:50,353
facing the wind to provide some protection.

1826
01:04:50,353 --> 01:04:52,021
The opposite side remained open

1827
01:04:52,021 --> 01:04:52,421
to cope

1828
01:04:52,421 --> 01:04:54,123
with the scorching winds that prevailed

1829
01:04:54,123 --> 01:04:56,192
during the hotter parts of the day.

1830
01:04:56,192 --> 01:04:57,393
For each company,

1831
01:04:57,393 --> 01:04:59,862
two local men were tasked with water duties.

1832
01:04:59,862 --> 01:05:01,697
They used a specially designed

1833
01:05:01,697 --> 01:05:04,533
small vessel to sprinkle water on the side of the hut

1834
01:05:04,533 --> 01:05:05,701
facing the wind,

1835
01:05:05,701 --> 01:05:08,137
helping to cool the interior slightly.

1836
01:05:08,137 --> 01:05:09,805
During the peak heat of the day,

1837
01:05:09,805 --> 01:05:10,273
these men

1838
01:05:10,273 --> 01:05:11,908
diligently performed their task

1839
01:05:11,908 --> 01:05:13,743
of cooling the accommodations

1840
01:05:13,743 --> 01:05:15,411
surrounding the cantonments.

1841
01:05:15,411 --> 01:05:18,481
There was a type of veranda or overhead covering,

1842
01:05:18,481 --> 01:05:19,949
designed to provide shade

1843
01:05:19,949 --> 01:05:21,951
and some relief from the sun.

1844
01:05:21,951 --> 01:05:24,520
Inside, each soldier had his own bedstead.

1845
01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:25,655
With these bedsteads

1846
01:05:25,655 --> 01:05:29,191
arranged closely together along each side of the room.

1847
01:05:29,191 --> 01:05:30,393
When water was splashed

1848
01:05:30,393 --> 01:05:32,228
onto the matted shutters outside,

1849
01:05:32,228 --> 01:05:33,729
the breeze that passed through

1850
01:05:33,729 --> 01:05:35,564
was significantly cooled,

1851
01:05:35,564 --> 01:05:38,267
offering some respite from the heat.

1852
01:05:38,267 --> 01:05:40,202
The honorable company made it their mission

1853
01:05:40,202 --> 01:05:41,938
to provide the highest level of comfort

1854
01:05:41,938 --> 01:05:45,241
possible for the Army during our stay in Kanpur,

1855
01:05:45,241 --> 01:05:46,309
including settling

1856
01:05:46,309 --> 01:05:48,945
all pending payments owed to the soldiers.

1857
01:05:48,945 --> 01:05:51,347
Unfortunately, the money often ended up

1858
01:05:51,347 --> 01:05:52,348
being used in ways

1859
01:05:52,348 --> 01:05:54,350
that were more harmful than helpful.

1860
01:05:54,350 --> 01:05:55,618
Following this period,

1861
01:05:55,618 --> 01:05:56,652
we received orders

1862
01:05:56,652 --> 01:05:58,587
to move to mudra and joined the forces

1863
01:05:58,587 --> 01:06:00,623
there under General Lake's command.

1864
01:06:00,623 --> 01:06:02,358
Our journey spanned several days

1865
01:06:02,358 --> 01:06:04,727
until we finally reached our destination.

1866
01:06:04,727 --> 01:06:05,795
Upon our arrival,

1867
01:06:05,795 --> 01:06:06,762
the soldiers wives

1868
01:06:06,762 --> 01:06:08,631
and the heavy baggage were left behind

1869
01:06:08,631 --> 01:06:10,866
as we advanced to confront Holkar

1870
01:06:10,866 --> 01:06:12,568
and his mounted forces,

1871
01:06:12,568 --> 01:06:13,569
our tents and related

1872
01:06:13,569 --> 01:06:15,838
equipment were transported on elephants.

1873
01:06:15,838 --> 01:06:18,941
Each company was assigned eight double canvas tents

1874
01:06:18,941 --> 01:06:21,944
with two elephants designated for their carriage.

1875
01:06:21,944 --> 01:06:24,780
Camels were employed to carry our ammunition.

1876
01:06:24,780 --> 01:06:27,183
Additionally, a significant number of local people

1877
01:06:27,183 --> 01:06:28,284
joined our ranks,

1878
01:06:28,284 --> 01:06:31,821
serving as cooks and water carriers for the soldiers.

1879
01:06:31,821 --> 01:06:34,523
A traveling market accompanied us with vendors

1880
01:06:34,523 --> 01:06:37,193
using buffaloes to transport their goods

1881
01:06:37,193 --> 01:06:38,427
and setting up temporary

1882
01:06:38,427 --> 01:06:40,730
stalls at each of our encampments.

1883
01:06:40,730 --> 01:06:43,899
Furthermore, women of ill repute followed the army,

1884
01:06:43,899 --> 01:06:47,103
bringing their tents along for the entire journey.

1885
01:06:47,103 --> 01:06:50,673
This situation highlights how tirelessly evil works,

1886
01:06:50,673 --> 01:06:54,210
seizing every chance to endanger valuable souls.

1887
01:06:54,210 --> 01:06:56,545
Despite the constant movement and chaos,

1888
01:06:56,545 --> 01:07:00,182
I found myself indulging in every form of excess,

1889
01:07:00,182 --> 01:07:02,251
utterly ensnared by temptation,

1890
01:07:02,251 --> 01:07:04,520
and led captive by his will.

1891
01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:05,521
Alongside us,

1892
01:07:05,521 --> 01:07:07,323
there were contractors responsible

1893
01:07:07,323 --> 01:07:09,658
for supplying our food during the journey.

1894
01:07:09,658 --> 01:07:12,528
This group included butchers who prepared sheep

1895
01:07:12,528 --> 01:07:15,865
and buffalo meat and cooks who cooked our meals.

1896
01:07:15,865 --> 01:07:18,534
Additionally, there were suppliers of arrack,

1897
01:07:18,534 --> 01:07:21,303
a component of the soldier's daily rations.

1898
01:07:21,303 --> 01:07:23,072
While stationed in barracks,

1899
01:07:23,072 --> 01:07:24,373
our rations were halved

1900
01:07:24,373 --> 01:07:26,642
compared to what we received in the field.

1901
01:07:26,642 --> 01:07:29,912
The journey often subjected us to intense heat

1902
01:07:29,912 --> 01:07:31,847
and a scarcity of water.

1903
01:07:31,847 --> 01:07:35,584
We faced the relentless sun, traversed burning sands

1904
01:07:35,584 --> 01:07:37,353
and embarked on long, strenuous

1905
01:07:37,353 --> 01:07:40,556
marches through desolate and unexplored terrain.

1906
01:07:40,556 --> 01:07:42,358
Our path required us to ascend

1907
01:07:42,358 --> 01:07:43,759
steep inclines

1908
01:07:43,759 --> 01:07:46,529
and navigate through valleys dense with jungles,

1909
01:07:46,529 --> 01:07:48,230
necessitating pioneers

1910
01:07:48,230 --> 01:07:50,599
to clear a path for our artillery.

1911
01:07:50,599 --> 01:07:53,636
These challenges frequently left us exhausted.

1912
01:07:53,636 --> 01:07:55,037
The quartermaster sergeant,

1913
01:07:55,037 --> 01:07:57,273
along with some camp color sergeants,

1914
01:07:57,273 --> 01:07:59,141
would scout ahead to select the site

1915
01:07:59,141 --> 01:08:00,943
for the Army's encampment.

1916
01:08:00,943 --> 01:08:02,611
Accompanying them was a local

1917
01:08:02,611 --> 01:08:03,979
who journeyed with the army

1918
01:08:03,979 --> 01:08:05,314
carrying a Tomtom,

1919
01:08:05,314 --> 01:08:06,048
an instrument

1920
01:08:06,048 --> 01:08:07,716
resembling a kettle drum,

1921
01:08:07,716 --> 01:08:10,152
which he played using two sticks.

1922
01:08:10,152 --> 01:08:12,788
The sound of the Tomtom reached our ears long

1923
01:08:12,788 --> 01:08:15,257
before the camp colors came into view.

1924
01:08:15,257 --> 01:08:16,292
I've noticed that well

1925
01:08:16,292 --> 01:08:17,359
before the Tomtom

1926
01:08:17,359 --> 01:08:18,461
could be heard,

1927
01:08:18,461 --> 01:08:21,297
a profound silence would fall over the men.

1928
01:08:21,297 --> 01:08:23,532
Not a single word was spoken.

1929
01:08:23,532 --> 01:08:24,100
The burden

1930
01:08:24,100 --> 01:08:27,970
of carrying our weapons, equipment and ammunition

1931
01:08:27,970 --> 01:08:31,273
combined with hunger, thirst and navigating

1932
01:08:31,273 --> 01:08:34,643
difficult terrains rendered us speechless.

1933
01:08:34,643 --> 01:08:37,980
However, the moment the tomtom's rhythm was heard,

1934
01:08:37,980 --> 01:08:40,783
it as if breathed new life into us all.

1935
01:08:40,783 --> 01:08:43,319
Suddenly the air was filled with chatter.

1936
01:08:43,319 --> 01:08:45,121
The topics of our conversations

1937
01:08:45,121 --> 01:08:46,755
and the source of our happiness

1938
01:08:46,755 --> 01:08:48,424
centered on the anticipation

1939
01:08:48,424 --> 01:08:50,359
of the journey's end for the day.

1940
01:08:50,359 --> 01:08:52,761
Thoughts of resting our weary bodies,

1941
01:08:52,761 --> 01:08:56,132
satisfying our hunger, and enjoying our portion

1942
01:08:56,132 --> 01:08:57,733
of arrack to rejuvenate us

1943
01:08:57,733 --> 01:08:59,602
seemed to invigorate every soldier.

1944
01:08:59,602 --> 01:09:00,669
A new

1945
01:09:00,669 --> 01:09:02,805
a member of the religious group within our regiment,

1946
01:09:02,805 --> 01:09:04,340
which I mentioned earlier,

1947
01:09:04,340 --> 01:09:06,809
passed away two years after we arrived in Burma.

1948
01:09:06,809 --> 01:09:08,677
For when his fellow believers

1949
01:09:08,677 --> 01:09:10,146
inquired about his feelings

1950
01:09:10,146 --> 01:09:12,848
facing the imminent journey into eternity,

1951
01:09:12,848 --> 01:09:14,583
he offered a profound response

1952
01:09:14,583 --> 01:09:17,253
that drew upon our earlier experiences.

1953
01:09:17,253 --> 01:09:20,990
I am utterly exhausted, worn out by sin,

1954
01:09:20,990 --> 01:09:22,892
the sinful nature of this world,

1955
01:09:22,892 --> 01:09:26,795
temptations, troubles, sickness and pain.

1956
01:09:26,795 --> 01:09:29,298
Yet I hold a hopeful anticipation of grace

1957
01:09:29,298 --> 01:09:31,367
beyond this earthly realm.

1958
01:09:31,367 --> 01:09:33,402
I believe I will soon be in heaven,

1959
01:09:33,402 --> 01:09:34,470
and my desire to be

1960
01:09:34,470 --> 01:09:36,539
there is as strong as my longing for rest.

1961
01:09:36,539 --> 01:09:39,008
After a grueling march to our encampment,

1962
01:09:39,008 --> 01:09:40,910
the thought of soon entering into the rest

1963
01:09:40,910 --> 01:09:41,443
that remains

1964
01:09:41,443 --> 01:09:42,645
for the people of God

1965
01:09:42,645 --> 01:09:45,481
fills my soul with renewed life and joy.

1966
01:09:45,481 --> 01:09:48,350
In that place, Jesus will guide and nourish me beside

1967
01:09:48,350 --> 01:09:49,885
streams of living water,

1968
01:09:49,885 --> 01:09:52,388
and God will wipe every tear from my eyes.

1969
01:09:52,388 --> 01:09:53,222
In this way

1970
01:09:53,222 --> 01:09:54,823
he honored his Lord and master

1971
01:09:54,823 --> 01:09:56,225
in the final chapter of his life

1972
01:09:56,225 --> 01:09:57,660
and through his departure,

1973
01:09:57,660 --> 01:10:00,262
witnessing the death of this faithful Christian

1974
01:10:00,262 --> 01:10:02,398
bolstered the faith of his brethren.

1975
01:10:02,398 --> 01:10:04,500
Now the way we went was by Delhi.

1976
01:10:04,500 --> 01:10:07,002
We had to cross a river called the Juma.

1977
01:10:07,002 --> 01:10:08,837
It ran very rapidly

1978
01:10:08,837 --> 01:10:10,172
and had nearly carried away

1979
01:10:10,172 --> 01:10:13,008
such of our men, as were little of stature.

1980
01:10:13,008 --> 01:10:14,810
We forded it at a shallow place

1981
01:10:14,810 --> 01:10:17,246
where the water did not reach above our loins.

1982
01:10:17,246 --> 01:10:20,349
We carried our arms and accouterments upon our heads

1983
01:10:20,349 --> 01:10:23,986
to keep them dry until we got over to the other side.

1984
01:10:23,986 --> 01:10:25,921
We marched through towns and villages,

1985
01:10:25,921 --> 01:10:28,357
which were generally surrounded with walls and gates.

1986
01:10:28,357 --> 01:10:30,459
As the enemy went before us,

1987
01:10:30,459 --> 01:10:31,827
we had often to get a guide.

1988
01:10:31,827 --> 01:10:33,796
When we came to a village or town,

1989
01:10:33,796 --> 01:10:34,763
the head constable

1990
01:10:34,763 --> 01:10:36,432
provided one that knew the way,

1991
01:10:36,432 --> 01:10:38,834
and he was given in charge to a guard in front.

1992
01:10:38,834 --> 01:10:41,670
If he led us right, he was paid for his trouble.

1993
01:10:41,670 --> 01:10:45,040
But if he deceived us, his life was forfeited.

1994
01:10:45,040 --> 01:10:47,042
Finally, we closed in on the enemy

1995
01:10:47,042 --> 01:10:48,477
through forced marches,

1996
01:10:48,477 --> 01:10:51,080
a tactic we called stealing a march.

1997
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:52,348
After completing our day's

1998
01:10:52,348 --> 01:10:54,717
march and pitching our tents for the night,

1999
01:10:54,717 --> 01:10:55,918
darkness would fall

2000
01:10:55,918 --> 01:10:57,152
and we would receive orders

2001
01:10:57,152 --> 01:11:00,723
to quietly strike camp and press forward once more.

2002
01:11:00,723 --> 01:11:02,324
This allowed us to cover two days

2003
01:11:02,324 --> 01:11:04,960
march within a single 24 hour period.

2004
01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:06,195
In some instances,

2005
01:11:06,195 --> 01:11:08,530
we even found ourselves camping on the same ground

2006
01:11:08,530 --> 01:11:09,832
that the enemy had vacated

2007
01:11:09,832 --> 01:11:13,902
just hours before their fires still smoldering

2008
01:11:13,902 --> 01:11:15,537
despite the enemy's advantage

2009
01:11:15,537 --> 01:11:18,307
of being mounted on horseback while we were on foot,

2010
01:11:18,307 --> 01:11:20,209
our pursuit was relentless.

2011
01:11:20,209 --> 01:11:23,212
We chased them all the way to the borders of Persia,

2012
01:11:23,212 --> 01:11:24,913
where they were halted by the Persians

2013
01:11:24,913 --> 01:11:28,250
refusal to grant them passage with nowhere left.

2014
01:11:28,250 --> 01:11:28,784
Turn.

2015
01:11:28,784 --> 01:11:31,987
Holkar, their leader, had no choice but to surrender

2016
01:11:31,987 --> 01:11:35,190
to us, his pursuers hot on his heels,

2017
01:11:35,190 --> 01:11:37,293
he submitted himself to our authority

2018
01:11:37,293 --> 01:11:38,761
and was taken prisoner,

2019
01:11:38,761 --> 01:11:40,362
escorted along the same road

2020
01:11:40,362 --> 01:11:43,232
we had traversed in pursuit as for whole cars.

2021
01:11:43,232 --> 01:11:43,632
Fate.

2022
01:11:43,632 --> 01:11:46,869
After his army disbanded, I cannot say

2023
01:11:46,869 --> 01:11:49,538
I do recall expressing disdain for his surrender

2024
01:11:49,538 --> 01:11:51,240
without putting up a fight,

2025
01:11:51,240 --> 01:11:52,174
a sentiment

2026
01:11:52,174 --> 01:11:53,942
fueled by the military culture

2027
01:11:53,942 --> 01:11:55,711
I had become accustomed to.

2028
01:11:55,711 --> 01:11:58,247
Regrettably, I must admit that such behavior

2029
01:11:58,247 --> 01:12:01,550
was not uncommon for me during my time in the Army.

2030
01:12:01,550 --> 01:12:04,053
At the time of whole Kars surrender,

2031
01:12:04,053 --> 01:12:06,488
our camp was situated beside the Haifa

2032
01:12:06,488 --> 01:12:10,059
River, its surface frozen over with ice

2033
01:12:10,059 --> 01:12:13,295
on the opposite bank loomed a towering mountain,

2034
01:12:13,295 --> 01:12:16,065
its summit appearing as a vast plain.

2035
01:12:16,065 --> 01:12:17,700
I learned that this mountain marked

2036
01:12:17,700 --> 01:12:18,901
the border of Persia,

2037
01:12:18,901 --> 01:12:22,171
and was nearly 2000 miles distant from Calcutta.

2038
01:12:22,171 --> 01:12:23,372
During our marches,

2039
01:12:23,372 --> 01:12:24,306
I had a comrade

2040
01:12:24,306 --> 01:12:27,743
who had a habit of swearing and drinking excessively.

2041
01:12:27,743 --> 01:12:28,577
Despite this,

2042
01:12:28,577 --> 01:12:30,846
we looked out for each other's well-being.

2043
01:12:30,846 --> 01:12:33,749
Sometimes after a strenuous day's march,

2044
01:12:33,749 --> 01:12:35,884
it fell to me to stand guard,

2045
01:12:35,884 --> 01:12:37,986
and my comrade would make it a priority

2046
01:12:37,986 --> 01:12:39,855
to prepare and bring me dinner

2047
01:12:39,855 --> 01:12:42,324
before attending to his own meal.

2048
01:12:42,324 --> 01:12:44,727
I reciprocated this gesture for him.

2049
01:12:44,727 --> 01:12:47,830
If we had indulged in too much drink the night before,

2050
01:12:47,830 --> 01:12:50,232
we would mix a concoction of two glasses

2051
01:12:50,232 --> 01:12:52,034
to alleviate our headaches

2052
01:12:52,034 --> 01:12:52,768
and dispel

2053
01:12:52,768 --> 01:12:53,936
the unsettling visions

2054
01:12:53,936 --> 01:12:57,940
we experienced, which we referred to as the horrors.

2055
01:12:57,940 --> 01:12:59,441
Eventually, my comrade developed

2056
01:12:59,441 --> 01:13:01,577
a severe case of dysentery due

2057
01:13:01,577 --> 01:13:03,579
to his excessive drinking.

2058
01:13:03,579 --> 01:13:06,915
Even then, I continued to offer him toddy, a drink

2059
01:13:06,915 --> 01:13:09,718
made from the sap of a certain tree in India,

2060
01:13:09,718 --> 01:13:12,988
which has similar effects to strong ale in Edinburgh.

2061
01:13:12,988 --> 01:13:14,656
Unfortunately, this only worsened

2062
01:13:14,656 --> 01:13:15,424
his condition,

2063
01:13:15,424 --> 01:13:17,760
as toddy can exacerbate bowel issues

2064
01:13:17,760 --> 01:13:19,728
when consumed excessively.

2065
01:13:19,728 --> 01:13:21,029
Despite some belief

2066
01:13:21,029 --> 01:13:21,463
that adding

2067
01:13:21,463 --> 01:13:22,798
cayenne pepper to the toddy

2068
01:13:22,798 --> 01:13:24,900
might mitigate its harmful effects,

2069
01:13:24,900 --> 01:13:27,770
I recalled doing so before giving it to my comrade,

2070
01:13:27,770 --> 01:13:29,705
who later passed away.

2071
01:13:29,705 --> 01:13:31,240
It's regrettable to acknowledge

2072
01:13:31,240 --> 01:13:33,275
that our drinking habits likely contributed

2073
01:13:33,275 --> 01:13:35,377
to each other's premature deaths.

2074
01:13:35,377 --> 01:13:36,645
He died in Matra

2075
01:13:36,645 --> 01:13:37,713
following our return

2076
01:13:37,713 --> 01:13:40,182
from the arduous March after Hawker.

2077
01:13:40,182 --> 01:13:41,150
When he was dying,

2078
01:13:41,150 --> 01:13:43,919
he sent for me to the hospital where he was lying.

2079
01:13:43,919 --> 01:13:45,087
I came accordingly

2080
01:13:45,087 --> 01:13:47,656
and found him in the agonies of death.

2081
01:13:47,656 --> 01:13:49,191
Being a Roman Catholic,

2082
01:13:49,191 --> 01:13:51,560
he asked me to read from their prayer book for him,

2083
01:13:51,560 --> 01:13:54,263
which I did without any hesitation.

2084
01:13:54,263 --> 01:13:57,399
At that time I didn't grasp the gravity of my comrades

2085
01:13:57,399 --> 01:13:58,801
dire situation,

2086
01:13:58,801 --> 01:14:01,637
or realized that he was soon to face his judgment

2087
01:14:01,637 --> 01:14:03,272
before God.

2088
01:14:03,272 --> 01:14:05,908
I regarded him almost like a mere animal,

2089
01:14:05,908 --> 01:14:07,142
oblivious to the fact

2090
01:14:07,142 --> 01:14:09,711
that he possessed an immortal soul.

2091
01:14:09,711 --> 01:14:12,381
Sadly, he seemed to depart from this world

2092
01:14:12,381 --> 01:14:15,451
as he had lived, engulfed in his sins.

2093
01:14:15,451 --> 01:14:17,753
According to the teachings of Scripture,

2094
01:14:17,753 --> 01:14:21,156
anyone who passes away in such a state cannot enter

2095
01:14:21,156 --> 01:14:23,025
into the presence of Christ.

2096
01:14:23,025 --> 01:14:24,493
Consequently, there remains

2097
01:14:24,493 --> 01:14:28,430
only one other destination for them, and that is hell.

2098
01:14:28,430 --> 01:14:29,565
Reflecting on this,

2099
01:14:29,565 --> 01:14:32,000
I cannot help but feel the weight of my own sins

2100
01:14:32,000 --> 01:14:33,402
in the eyes of God.

2101
01:14:33,402 --> 01:14:35,671
It's likely that my actions played a role

2102
01:14:35,671 --> 01:14:36,071
in leading

2103
01:14:36,071 --> 01:14:39,675
many of my ungodly companions to their spiritual ruin

2104
01:14:39,675 --> 01:14:41,343
as they departed from this world

2105
01:14:41,343 --> 01:14:42,377
without repentance

2106
01:14:42,377 --> 01:14:45,380
toward God and faith in Jesus Christ.

2107
01:14:45,380 --> 01:14:48,684
Perhaps they now curse me in the depths of hell

2108
01:14:48,684 --> 01:14:51,019
for contributing to their downfall.

2109
01:14:51,019 --> 01:14:52,855
Although I cannot reach them to warn

2110
01:14:52,855 --> 01:14:54,490
or counsel them any longer,

2111
01:14:54,490 --> 01:14:56,124
I am certain that I will face them

2112
01:14:56,124 --> 01:14:57,759
all at the Day of judgment,

2113
01:14:57,759 --> 01:15:00,362
where they may lay many charges against me.

2114
01:15:00,362 --> 01:15:02,731
Driven by this profound conviction,

2115
01:15:02,731 --> 01:15:03,999
I am deeply committed

2116
01:15:03,999 --> 01:15:05,367
to bringing all my thoughts,

2117
01:15:05,367 --> 01:15:06,535
words, and actions

2118
01:15:06,535 --> 01:15:08,003
into remembrance

2119
01:15:08,003 --> 01:15:11,006
to the best of my ability with the Lord's help.

2120
01:15:11,006 --> 01:15:13,742
Although I am aware that I cannot possibly recall

2121
01:15:13,742 --> 01:15:14,910
all my sins

2122
01:15:14,910 --> 01:15:17,613
as they are countless, like the sands of the sea,

2123
01:15:17,613 --> 01:15:18,547
I am determined

2124
01:15:18,547 --> 01:15:22,150
not to harbor any secrets between God and my own soul.

2125
01:15:22,150 --> 01:15:22,818
In alignment

2126
01:15:22,818 --> 01:15:24,553
with job's heartfelt plea,

2127
01:15:24,553 --> 01:15:26,788
which I echo with all sincerity,

2128
01:15:26,788 --> 01:15:28,123
I long to declare,

2129
01:15:28,123 --> 01:15:30,959
how many are my iniquities and sins?

2130
01:15:30,959 --> 01:15:34,062
Make me aware of my transgressions and sins?

2131
01:15:34,062 --> 01:15:37,099
David could find no peace while he covered his sins.

2132
01:15:37,099 --> 01:15:38,600
When I kept silence,

2133
01:15:38,600 --> 01:15:39,401
my bones

2134
01:15:39,401 --> 01:15:42,604
waxed old through my roaring all the day long.

2135
01:15:42,604 --> 01:15:45,240
For day and night. Thy hand was heavy upon me.

2136
01:15:45,240 --> 01:15:48,343
My moisture was turned into the drought of summer.

2137
01:15:48,343 --> 01:15:51,246
I acknowledge my sin unto thee and mine iniquity

2138
01:15:51,246 --> 01:15:52,614
have I not hid.

2139
01:15:52,614 --> 01:15:54,783
I said, I will confess my transgressions

2140
01:15:54,783 --> 01:15:55,884
unto the Lord,

2141
01:15:55,884 --> 01:15:58,587
and thou forgave us the iniquity of my sin.

2142
01:15:58,587 --> 01:16:01,423
I am nevertheless condemned for breaking even

2143
01:16:01,423 --> 01:16:04,660
one point of the law, as if I had broken the whole.

2144
01:16:04,660 --> 01:16:08,130
For the law of God is holy and spiritual, and extends

2145
01:16:08,130 --> 01:16:09,498
to the thoughts of the heart

2146
01:16:09,498 --> 01:16:11,900
as well as to the outward conduct.

2147
01:16:11,900 --> 01:16:15,237
I believe that in general, the Holy Spirit of God,

2148
01:16:15,237 --> 01:16:16,038
when he begins

2149
01:16:16,038 --> 01:16:18,574
the good work of regeneration in the soul,

2150
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:22,210
shows us sin by the law, and then the law condemns us,

2151
01:16:22,210 --> 01:16:23,679
and that the same Holy Spirit

2152
01:16:23,679 --> 01:16:24,313
makes the law,

2153
01:16:24,313 --> 01:16:26,782
our schoolmaster, to bring us to Christ

2154
01:16:26,782 --> 01:16:28,617
for the pardon of our sins.

2155
01:16:28,617 --> 01:16:29,751
He is the end of the law

2156
01:16:29,751 --> 01:16:32,087
for righteousness to them that believe.

2157
01:16:32,087 --> 01:16:35,023
And if I have faith to believe in the Son of God,

2158
01:16:35,023 --> 01:16:36,825
it is the spirit that works in me,

2159
01:16:36,825 --> 01:16:38,860
the work of faith with power.

2160
01:16:38,860 --> 01:16:42,130
While the spirit is the primary agent in this process,

2161
01:16:42,130 --> 01:16:43,398
the gospel serves

2162
01:16:43,398 --> 01:16:46,602
as the means by which this transformation occurs.

2163
01:16:46,602 --> 01:16:49,171
Nevertheless, it is through the diligent application

2164
01:16:49,171 --> 01:16:50,172
of these means

2165
01:16:50,172 --> 01:16:53,609
that we are led to repentance and faith in the gospel

2166
01:16:53,609 --> 01:16:55,010
at the cross of Christ,

2167
01:16:55,010 --> 01:16:56,778
guided by the spirit,

2168
01:16:56,778 --> 01:16:59,247
I bring all my sins and confess them,

2169
01:16:59,247 --> 01:17:01,283
witnessing the profound sinfulness

2170
01:17:01,283 --> 01:17:04,987
of my transgressions in the sufferings of my Savior.

2171
01:17:04,987 --> 01:17:07,889
As I fix my eyes on the Lamb of God,

2172
01:17:07,889 --> 01:17:10,726
who specifically bears away my sins,

2173
01:17:10,726 --> 01:17:12,361
it is there at the cross

2174
01:17:12,361 --> 01:17:14,963
that my heavy burden of guilt is lifted

2175
01:17:14,963 --> 01:17:17,933
and God is glorified in extending pardon and peace

2176
01:17:17,933 --> 01:17:19,801
to even the chief of sinners

2177
01:17:19,801 --> 01:17:22,237
who place their faith in the Son of God.

2178
01:17:22,237 --> 01:17:25,374
In Emmanuel, mercy and truth converge.

2179
01:17:25,374 --> 01:17:28,677
Righteousness and peace embrace in the salvation

2180
01:17:28,677 --> 01:17:30,145
of all who believe.

2181
01:17:30,145 --> 01:17:31,113
From that moment

2182
01:17:31,113 --> 01:17:32,781
we experience peace with God

2183
01:17:32,781 --> 01:17:33,782
through Christ,

2184
01:17:33,782 --> 01:17:35,117
who has completed the work

2185
01:17:35,117 --> 01:17:37,052
assigned to him by the father.

2186
01:17:37,052 --> 01:17:38,020
The Christian journey

2187
01:17:38,020 --> 01:17:41,490
thereafter becomes a continuous battle, traversing

2188
01:17:41,490 --> 01:17:42,891
a spiritual wilderness

2189
01:17:42,891 --> 01:17:45,193
more daunting than any physical terrain.

2190
01:17:45,193 --> 01:17:46,528
I have encountered.

2191
01:17:46,528 --> 01:17:49,364
Yet the Lord faithfully leads his people through

2192
01:17:49,364 --> 01:17:50,298
empowering them

2193
01:17:50,298 --> 01:17:53,669
to emerge as triumphant conquerors through his love.

2194
01:17:53,669 --> 01:17:55,604
May we all progress through this wilderness,

2195
01:17:55,604 --> 01:17:57,906
relying on our beloved for strength,

2196
01:17:57,906 --> 01:17:59,608
acknowledging our own weakness.

2197
01:17:59,608 --> 01:18:03,111
And ultimately, he will safely guide us home

2198
01:18:03,111 --> 01:18:04,613
in the interior of India, I

2199
01:18:04,613 --> 01:18:06,381
saw great numbers of the poor blind

2200
01:18:06,381 --> 01:18:09,184
natives on their way to the Temple of Juggernaut.

2201
01:18:09,184 --> 01:18:11,153
Our men asked them where they were going

2202
01:18:11,153 --> 01:18:13,321
and they replied to juggernaut.

2203
01:18:13,321 --> 01:18:15,490
Their cheerfulness was surprising,

2204
01:18:15,490 --> 01:18:16,491
although they knew that

2205
01:18:16,491 --> 01:18:18,093
they should probably be crushed

2206
01:18:18,093 --> 01:18:20,228
to death under the car of the idol.

2207
01:18:20,228 --> 01:18:21,830
For they think that if they die, by

2208
01:18:21,830 --> 01:18:23,799
this means they will be happy forever.

2209
01:18:23,799 --> 01:18:25,367
These poor creatures travel

2210
01:18:25,367 --> 01:18:27,202
hundreds of miles to juggernaut,

2211
01:18:27,202 --> 01:18:30,405
with few clothes upon their body and little provision

2212
01:18:30,405 --> 01:18:32,240
to carry them to the end of their long

2213
01:18:32,240 --> 01:18:33,975
and painful journey.

2214
01:18:33,975 --> 01:18:35,944
And yet they take a pleasure in it.

2215
01:18:35,944 --> 01:18:38,714
Although it is an idol they are going to worship,

2216
01:18:38,714 --> 01:18:40,348
and that worship two attended

2217
01:18:40,348 --> 01:18:42,217
with the most horrid cruelties.

2218
01:18:42,217 --> 01:18:45,721
These idolaters put us who call ourselves Christians,

2219
01:18:45,721 --> 01:18:46,988
to shame.

2220
01:18:46,988 --> 01:18:50,325
I saw a man almost naked on a long pilgrimage

2221
01:18:50,325 --> 01:18:53,361
for the purpose of obtaining pardon for his sins.

2222
01:18:53,361 --> 01:18:55,397
He had made a vow to hold up his hand

2223
01:18:55,397 --> 01:18:57,532
as high as he could, stretch it above his head

2224
01:18:57,532 --> 01:18:59,401
for a long period of time,

2225
01:18:59,401 --> 01:19:02,437
and he was not to pair his nails nor comb his hair.

2226
01:19:02,437 --> 01:19:04,005
And he was, moreover, to fast

2227
01:19:04,005 --> 01:19:06,641
every day during the time the sun was up.

2228
01:19:06,641 --> 01:19:08,243
I was quite near him,

2229
01:19:08,243 --> 01:19:11,580
and I saw that the army held up, was quite contracted

2230
01:19:11,580 --> 01:19:13,181
and wasted to skin and bone,

2231
01:19:13,181 --> 01:19:15,484
and that he could not take it down.

2232
01:19:15,484 --> 01:19:18,920
His nails too, had grown so long that I thought

2233
01:19:18,920 --> 01:19:21,790
at the time. They went up into the palm of his hand.

2234
01:19:21,790 --> 01:19:23,291
I have also seen these people

2235
01:19:23,291 --> 01:19:25,894
go to the temple where they worship their idols.

2236
01:19:25,894 --> 01:19:27,395
The steps by which they went up

2237
01:19:27,395 --> 01:19:28,930
were washed very clean,

2238
01:19:28,930 --> 01:19:30,966
and they proceeded very reverently,

2239
01:19:30,966 --> 01:19:32,667
taking off their shoes

2240
01:19:32,667 --> 01:19:33,702
and bowing their heads

2241
01:19:33,702 --> 01:19:35,637
all the way as they went up,

2242
01:19:35,637 --> 01:19:37,639
praying to their idols that had eyes

2243
01:19:37,639 --> 01:19:39,608
but could not see, and ears,

2244
01:19:39,608 --> 01:19:41,910
but could not hear them, and hands,

2245
01:19:41,910 --> 01:19:43,812
but could not save them.

2246
01:19:43,812 --> 01:19:45,480
Oh, that we could get the scriptures

2247
01:19:45,480 --> 01:19:47,682
translated into their language,

2248
01:19:47,682 --> 01:19:49,184
and circulated among them,

2249
01:19:49,184 --> 01:19:51,153
unfurling the banners of the cross

2250
01:19:51,153 --> 01:19:53,054
on the banks of the Ganges,

2251
01:19:53,054 --> 01:19:56,024
and preaching Christ in Him crucified.

2252
01:19:56,024 --> 01:19:57,325
You would be surprised to see

2253
01:19:57,325 --> 01:20:00,128
how many different castes there are in Bengal.

2254
01:20:00,128 --> 01:20:02,397
Every different caste has different idols,

2255
01:20:02,397 --> 01:20:04,299
and each caste thinks itself right.

2256
01:20:04,299 --> 01:20:07,435
Just as the different denominations in Edinburgh do.

2257
01:20:07,435 --> 01:20:09,004
Some worship birds, four

2258
01:20:09,004 --> 01:20:09,604
footed beasts

2259
01:20:09,604 --> 01:20:10,872
and creeping things,

2260
01:20:10,872 --> 01:20:13,942
fire and water and the host of heaven.

2261
01:20:13,942 --> 01:20:15,343
I have seen a man and his wife

2262
01:20:15,343 --> 01:20:16,912
and family all go into the river

2263
01:20:16,912 --> 01:20:18,480
Ganges early in the morning,

2264
01:20:18,480 --> 01:20:21,183
before the sun arose to have family worship.

2265
01:20:21,183 --> 01:20:22,517
They all went into the river

2266
01:20:22,517 --> 01:20:25,020
up to their loins and took off their copra,

2267
01:20:25,020 --> 01:20:26,388
that is, their clothes,

2268
01:20:26,388 --> 01:20:28,657
which consisted of a cloth about the loins,

2269
01:20:28,657 --> 01:20:30,091
and another about their head,

2270
01:20:30,091 --> 01:20:31,827
which they called a turban.

2271
01:20:31,827 --> 01:20:33,295
And they washed them in the river,

2272
01:20:33,295 --> 01:20:35,964
which they deemed sacred or holy water.

2273
01:20:35,964 --> 01:20:38,633
Then they all eagerly await the sunrise,

2274
01:20:38,633 --> 01:20:39,801
and the head of the family,

2275
01:20:39,801 --> 01:20:43,071
with eyes wide open, directs his prayers toward it,

2276
01:20:43,071 --> 01:20:44,539
earnestly seeking answers

2277
01:20:44,539 --> 01:20:46,942
for the well-being of his wife and family.

2278
01:20:46,942 --> 01:20:49,578
I have also gone to their marketplace in the mornings

2279
01:20:49,578 --> 01:20:51,546
and observed that the first thing they do

2280
01:20:51,546 --> 01:20:54,783
before they work or sell is to pray to their gods,

2281
01:20:54,783 --> 01:20:56,451
which are no gods.

2282
01:20:56,451 --> 01:20:59,354
These poor idolaters shame us who possess

2283
01:20:59,354 --> 01:21:01,656
the revelation of the true God,

2284
01:21:01,656 --> 01:21:05,026
and His Son, Jesus Christ, whom he has sent

2285
01:21:05,026 --> 01:21:05,794
throughout the year.

2286
01:21:05,794 --> 01:21:06,962
They spend many nights

2287
01:21:06,962 --> 01:21:08,730
gathered around a large fire,

2288
01:21:08,730 --> 01:21:10,932
singing praises to their idols,

2289
01:21:10,932 --> 01:21:14,736
playing drums and performing on musical instruments,

2290
01:21:14,736 --> 01:21:17,005
each person seemingly competing

2291
01:21:17,005 --> 01:21:19,474
to offer the best homage to their deity.

2292
01:21:19,474 --> 01:21:22,544
The singing voices of the men in Bengal are so gentle

2293
01:21:22,544 --> 01:21:23,411
and high pitch that

2294
01:21:23,411 --> 01:21:24,779
without seeing them,

2295
01:21:24,779 --> 01:21:27,382
one might mistake them for women's voices.

2296
01:21:27,382 --> 01:21:28,950
This delicate constitution

2297
01:21:28,950 --> 01:21:31,119
among them is likely due to their diet,

2298
01:21:31,119 --> 01:21:32,921
which is significantly influenced

2299
01:21:32,921 --> 01:21:36,458
by their caste restrictions against consuming meat.

2300
01:21:36,458 --> 01:21:37,525
Consequently,

2301
01:21:37,525 --> 01:21:40,328
their primary meals consist of rice and curry,

2302
01:21:40,328 --> 01:21:41,963
not the kind made with me,

2303
01:21:41,963 --> 01:21:44,399
but rather with fish or poultry.

2304
01:21:44,399 --> 01:21:46,234
There were many of the customs of India

2305
01:21:46,234 --> 01:21:47,535
which reminded me,

2306
01:21:47,535 --> 01:21:49,838
even though still in the gall of bitterness

2307
01:21:49,838 --> 01:21:53,008
and in the bond of iniquity of portions of Scripture

2308
01:21:53,008 --> 01:21:55,310
I had read when a boy at school in Edinburgh,

2309
01:21:55,310 --> 01:21:56,578
for instance, in their open

2310
01:21:56,578 --> 01:21:57,612
marketplaces,

2311
01:21:57,612 --> 01:21:58,647
it's not uncommon

2312
01:21:58,647 --> 01:22:00,749
to see women working at a Greenville.

2313
01:22:00,749 --> 01:22:03,818
They use two small grinding stones for this task.

2314
01:22:03,818 --> 01:22:06,121
The bottom stone is secured in the ground,

2315
01:22:06,121 --> 01:22:08,223
while the top one, equipped

2316
01:22:08,223 --> 01:22:11,993
with a hole to pour grains into, sits atop the first.

2317
01:22:11,993 --> 01:22:13,862
A handle attached to the upper stone

2318
01:22:13,862 --> 01:22:15,530
allows them to rotate it

2319
01:22:15,530 --> 01:22:17,132
positioned opposite each other.

2320
01:22:17,132 --> 01:22:19,200
The women sit low in their heels.

2321
01:22:19,200 --> 01:22:20,669
Each one grasps the handle

2322
01:22:20,669 --> 01:22:21,536
with one hand

2323
01:22:21,536 --> 01:22:22,938
to turn the stone,

2324
01:22:22,938 --> 01:22:26,041
and uses the other hand to feed grains into the mill.

2325
01:22:26,041 --> 01:22:27,609
This is a vivid illustration

2326
01:22:27,609 --> 01:22:28,843
of the kind of everyday life

2327
01:22:28,843 --> 01:22:32,047
Jesus referred to in Matthew 2441.

2328
01:22:32,047 --> 01:22:33,248
In this community,

2329
01:22:33,248 --> 01:22:35,850
both men and women perform tasks, dine

2330
01:22:35,850 --> 01:22:38,086
and go about their daily activities while seated.

2331
01:22:38,086 --> 01:22:39,454
In this manner,

2332
01:22:39,454 --> 01:22:42,357
one time I passed about six women collected together.

2333
01:22:42,357 --> 01:22:44,092
Their long black hair was hanging

2334
01:22:44,092 --> 01:22:45,393
loose down their backs

2335
01:22:45,393 --> 01:22:47,595
and they were all crying bitterly.

2336
01:22:47,595 --> 01:22:49,164
I inquired the reason why they wept

2337
01:22:49,164 --> 01:22:52,901
so they informed me that some near relative had cried,

2338
01:22:52,901 --> 01:22:54,102
and that the weeping women

2339
01:22:54,102 --> 01:22:56,638
had been summoned to weep over the dead.

2340
01:22:56,638 --> 01:22:58,573
The sight made me weep also.

2341
01:22:58,573 --> 01:23:00,041
I could not help it.

2342
01:23:00,041 --> 01:23:01,676
I have seen a large grove of sheep

2343
01:23:01,676 --> 01:23:04,112
following their shepherd who went before them.

2344
01:23:04,112 --> 01:23:06,014
The sheep know their shepherd,

2345
01:23:06,014 --> 01:23:07,983
and will not follow a stranger.

2346
01:23:07,983 --> 01:23:09,751
This is literally true.

2347
01:23:09,751 --> 01:23:12,287
The different castes have rules by which they go,

2348
01:23:12,287 --> 01:23:14,689
and if any one of their number break these rules,

2349
01:23:14,689 --> 01:23:18,093
his caste is lost and he is excommunicated.

2350
01:23:18,093 --> 01:23:20,829
If the person thus cut off is sorry for his offense

2351
01:23:20,829 --> 01:23:22,864
in wishes to be taken back again,

2352
01:23:22,864 --> 01:23:24,165
he must suffer some punishment

2353
01:23:24,165 --> 01:23:25,867
before he is readmitted.

2354
01:23:25,867 --> 01:23:27,035
To my own knowledge,

2355
01:23:27,035 --> 01:23:29,070
there were two backsliders restored

2356
01:23:29,070 --> 01:23:30,672
by suffering an iron hook

2357
01:23:30,672 --> 01:23:32,674
to be thrust into their bodies

2358
01:23:32,674 --> 01:23:33,975
in the body of one of them.

2359
01:23:33,975 --> 01:23:36,444
The hook was thrust in at the lowest rib

2360
01:23:36,444 --> 01:23:39,447
in the body of the other, under the shoulder blade.

2361
01:23:39,447 --> 01:23:40,181
There was a rope

2362
01:23:40,181 --> 01:23:41,516
attached to each of the hooks,

2363
01:23:41,516 --> 01:23:43,651
and afterwards fastened to a beam.

2364
01:23:43,651 --> 01:23:45,587
The beam was balanced on a high pole

2365
01:23:45,587 --> 01:23:47,155
thrust into its center.

2366
01:23:47,155 --> 01:23:49,057
They were then turned round the pole

2367
01:23:49,057 --> 01:23:51,126
amid the rejoicing of their caste,

2368
01:23:51,126 --> 01:23:52,560
who stood around them

2369
01:23:52,560 --> 01:23:56,031
beating drums and piping on instruments of music.

2370
01:23:56,031 --> 01:23:57,899
This is continued for some minutes

2371
01:23:57,899 --> 01:23:59,167
when they are taken down

2372
01:23:59,167 --> 01:24:01,269
and restored to their former cast,

2373
01:24:01,269 --> 01:24:04,105
their sorrows shall be multiplied that hasten

2374
01:24:04,105 --> 01:24:05,707
after another god.

2375
01:24:05,707 --> 01:24:06,608
In India, it's

2376
01:24:06,608 --> 01:24:08,543
common for parents to arrange marriages

2377
01:24:08,543 --> 01:24:10,512
for their children at a young age.

2378
01:24:10,512 --> 01:24:13,081
However, the children aren't allowed to live together

2379
01:24:13,081 --> 01:24:15,050
until they reach adulthood.

2380
01:24:15,050 --> 01:24:17,052
Additionally, there's a caste known

2381
01:24:17,052 --> 01:24:19,788
for wearing a thick silver ring on their hands.

2382
01:24:19,788 --> 01:24:23,124
Although meant for the wrist, these rings are so large

2383
01:24:23,124 --> 01:24:26,461
that they often slide down to the base of the fingers.

2384
01:24:26,461 --> 01:24:28,296
After we came back to Matara,

2385
01:24:28,296 --> 01:24:30,799
I still lived in the practice of every sin

2386
01:24:30,799 --> 01:24:34,469
and along with my ungodly companions, profaned God's

2387
01:24:34,469 --> 01:24:35,470
holy name

2388
01:24:35,470 --> 01:24:38,540
in his holy Sabbaths in rioting and drunkenness.

2389
01:24:38,540 --> 01:24:39,374
To my shame,

2390
01:24:39,374 --> 01:24:42,110
I confess that I gloried in this line of conduct

2391
01:24:42,110 --> 01:24:45,480
along with my wicked companions, my wickedness

2392
01:24:45,480 --> 01:24:47,248
reached up to the heavens

2393
01:24:47,248 --> 01:24:49,884
and had its foundation as deep as hell.

2394
01:24:49,884 --> 01:24:52,987
The number of my sins was as the sand of the sea.

2395
01:24:52,987 --> 01:24:55,190
Alas for my ungodly companions,

2396
01:24:55,190 --> 01:24:57,492
they are beyond the reach of mercy now,

2397
01:24:57,492 --> 01:25:00,662
and their doom is fixed unalterably forever.

2398
01:25:00,662 --> 01:25:02,363
Oh, how glad would they be

2399
01:25:02,363 --> 01:25:05,033
if they had only one day in this world.

2400
01:25:05,033 --> 01:25:08,436
But no time with them is no longer.

2401
01:25:08,436 --> 01:25:11,673
It's truly astonishing that despite my sinful actions,

2402
01:25:11,673 --> 01:25:14,943
my true nature remained hidden from those in charge.

2403
01:25:14,943 --> 01:25:18,046
I believe the stern reprimand I received at the start,

2404
01:25:18,046 --> 01:25:19,414
as I've mentioned earlier,

2405
01:25:19,414 --> 01:25:20,782
served as a wakeup call,

2406
01:25:20,782 --> 01:25:23,284
making me very diligent in my duties.

2407
01:25:23,284 --> 01:25:25,453
I was considered quite disciplined,

2408
01:25:25,453 --> 01:25:27,055
which led to my recognition

2409
01:25:27,055 --> 01:25:29,257
and subsequent promotion to corporal.

2410
01:25:29,257 --> 01:25:32,460
However, this advancement did not benefit my soul.

2411
01:25:32,460 --> 01:25:34,863
Firstly, it filled me with pride.

2412
01:25:34,863 --> 01:25:37,499
Secondly, the increase in pay further

2413
01:25:37,499 --> 01:25:40,435
allowed me to indulge in my sinful tendencies,

2414
01:25:40,435 --> 01:25:41,236
enabling me

2415
01:25:41,236 --> 01:25:43,771
to pursue my long standing sinful behaviors,

2416
01:25:43,771 --> 01:25:45,607
even more than before.

2417
01:25:45,607 --> 01:25:48,143
It was part of the corporal's responsibilities

2418
01:25:48,143 --> 01:25:50,378
to take a few men along and collect

2419
01:25:50,378 --> 01:25:52,747
the company's daily provisions for a week,

2420
01:25:52,747 --> 01:25:56,184
which then needed to be distributed among the men

2421
01:25:56,184 --> 01:25:58,353
with five corporals in a company.

2422
01:25:58,353 --> 01:26:00,822
This task fell to me every five weeks.

2423
01:26:00,822 --> 01:26:02,157
I was tasked with obtaining

2424
01:26:02,157 --> 01:26:03,258
and handing out meat,

2425
01:26:03,258 --> 01:26:04,626
bread and drinks to the men

2426
01:26:04,626 --> 01:26:06,361
each day for that duration.

2427
01:26:06,361 --> 01:26:08,363
When it was my turn to manage this duty,

2428
01:26:08,363 --> 01:26:10,532
particularly in distributing the drinks,

2429
01:26:10,532 --> 01:26:12,467
I didn't give the men their complete share,

2430
01:26:12,467 --> 01:26:14,402
keeping the remainder for myself.

2431
01:26:14,402 --> 01:26:15,470
As a result,

2432
01:26:15,470 --> 01:26:17,305
I sometimes ended up with a bottle,

2433
01:26:17,305 --> 01:26:18,640
occasionally more or less

2434
01:26:18,640 --> 01:26:21,676
profiting from what I had withheld from the men

2435
01:26:21,676 --> 01:26:22,377
at the time.

2436
01:26:22,377 --> 01:26:23,278
I failed to realize

2437
01:26:23,278 --> 01:26:25,713
that God was observing all my actions,

2438
01:26:25,713 --> 01:26:27,482
noting my misconduct,

2439
01:26:27,482 --> 01:26:28,483
and that he would hold me

2440
01:26:28,483 --> 01:26:29,817
accountable for my unjust

2441
01:26:29,817 --> 01:26:34,656
practices, among other deeds.

2442
01:26:34,656 --> 01:26:36,491
Chapter four

2443
01:26:36,491 --> 01:26:40,528
transformation and Hope A New Path in Christ.

2444
01:26:40,528 --> 01:26:43,131
During my service in the 81st Regiment,

2445
01:26:43,131 --> 01:26:47,268
spanning from 1797 until early 1803,

2446
01:26:47,268 --> 01:26:48,536
Lieutenant Colonel Hamilton

2447
01:26:48,536 --> 01:26:50,672
served as our commanding officer.

2448
01:26:50,672 --> 01:26:53,474
He remained in this role for the entirety of my tenure

2449
01:26:53,474 --> 01:26:54,676
in the regiment.

2450
01:26:54,676 --> 01:26:57,579
Upon discovering my departure from his regiment,

2451
01:26:57,579 --> 01:26:59,547
evident from my mixed uniform

2452
01:26:59,547 --> 01:27:01,583
featuring elements from both the 81st

2453
01:27:01,583 --> 01:27:03,384
and 22nd regiments,

2454
01:27:03,384 --> 01:27:05,553
Lieutenant Colonel Hamilton approached me.

2455
01:27:05,553 --> 01:27:06,921
Unfamiliar with my name.

2456
01:27:06,921 --> 01:27:10,625
He inquired, my lad, were you a member of my regiment?

2457
01:27:10,625 --> 01:27:13,394
I responded affirmatively, stating, yes, Your Honor.

2458
01:27:13,394 --> 01:27:15,430
I was surprised.

2459
01:27:15,430 --> 01:27:16,531
Lieutenant Colonel Hamilton

2460
01:27:16,531 --> 01:27:18,099
confessed that he had never been aware

2461
01:27:18,099 --> 01:27:19,801
of my presence in the regiment.

2462
01:27:19,801 --> 01:27:22,237
It struck me that officers ought to be familiar

2463
01:27:22,237 --> 01:27:24,973
with the commendable individuals within their ranks.

2464
01:27:24,973 --> 01:27:26,507
Yet Lieutenant Colonel Hamilton

2465
01:27:26,507 --> 01:27:28,243
seemed only acquainted with those

2466
01:27:28,243 --> 01:27:30,845
who had committed punishable offenses.

2467
01:27:30,845 --> 01:27:32,347
In the presence of the adjutant.

2468
01:27:32,347 --> 01:27:33,815
Lieutenant Andrews.

2469
01:27:33,815 --> 01:27:35,283
Lieutenant Colonel Hamilton

2470
01:27:35,283 --> 01:27:37,385
sought my character assessment.

2471
01:27:37,385 --> 01:27:38,553
To his surprise,

2472
01:27:38,553 --> 01:27:39,854
Lieutenant Andrews provided

2473
01:27:39,854 --> 01:27:42,123
a glowing appraisal of my character.

2474
01:27:42,123 --> 01:27:43,725
Consequently, Lieutenant Colonel

2475
01:27:43,725 --> 01:27:44,993
Hamilton expressed regret

2476
01:27:44,993 --> 01:27:46,828
at my departure from the regiment

2477
01:27:46,828 --> 01:27:48,596
despite my past transgressions,

2478
01:27:48,596 --> 01:27:50,698
which I have previously recounted.

2479
01:27:50,698 --> 01:27:53,301
In truth, during my time in the regiment,

2480
01:27:53,301 --> 01:27:54,769
I concealed my true nature

2481
01:27:54,769 --> 01:27:56,738
behind a facade of righteousness.

2482
01:27:56,738 --> 01:27:58,406
I was a hidden hypocrite.

2483
01:27:58,406 --> 01:28:00,642
There was a dispute before we left the Cape of Good

2484
01:28:00,642 --> 01:28:04,112
Hope between Brevet Colonel Brock of the 81st Regiment

2485
01:28:04,112 --> 01:28:06,648
and Captain Menzies of the 27 Regiment

2486
01:28:06,648 --> 01:28:08,082
Grenadier Company,

2487
01:28:08,082 --> 01:28:11,152
and it was decided by a duel in which Captain Menzies

2488
01:28:11,152 --> 01:28:12,720
shot Colonel Brock.

2489
01:28:12,720 --> 01:28:13,721
It is worthy of note

2490
01:28:13,721 --> 01:28:16,057
that although man winked at this crime, yet

2491
01:28:16,057 --> 01:28:18,326
Captain Menzies, two years afterwards,

2492
01:28:18,326 --> 01:28:20,528
was himself killed at bird poor.

2493
01:28:20,528 --> 01:28:22,664
I am not saying that this was a judgment

2494
01:28:22,664 --> 01:28:24,265
from the hand of the Lord,

2495
01:28:24,265 --> 01:28:25,266
but it is certain

2496
01:28:25,266 --> 01:28:27,902
that the Lord does not approve of fighting duels.

2497
01:28:27,902 --> 01:28:28,736
The 22nd

2498
01:28:28,736 --> 01:28:30,405
Regiment was under the command

2499
01:28:30,405 --> 01:28:32,073
of Lieutenant Colonel Mercer,

2500
01:28:32,073 --> 01:28:34,742
who remained with us until our arrival in Matra,

2501
01:28:34,742 --> 01:28:36,811
where he parted ways with the regiment.

2502
01:28:36,811 --> 01:28:39,781
We were then introduced to a new commanding officer,

2503
01:28:39,781 --> 01:28:41,849
the strictest I had ever encountered.

2504
01:28:41,849 --> 01:28:43,251
Upon assuming command,

2505
01:28:43,251 --> 01:28:45,920
he initiated a rigorous training regimen,

2506
01:28:45,920 --> 01:28:48,523
treating us as if we were raw recruits.

2507
01:28:48,523 --> 01:28:50,291
He guided us through all aspects

2508
01:28:50,291 --> 01:28:51,426
of military discipline

2509
01:28:51,426 --> 01:28:52,460
until the regiment

2510
01:28:52,460 --> 01:28:54,062
was proficient in the manual

2511
01:28:54,062 --> 01:28:58,299
and platoon exercises, executing them flawlessly.

2512
01:28:58,299 --> 01:29:00,668
This commanding officer had a strict policy

2513
01:29:00,668 --> 01:29:02,370
regarding misconduct.

2514
01:29:02,370 --> 01:29:05,707
For the first offense of being found drunk on parade,

2515
01:29:05,707 --> 01:29:07,909
he imposed a two week confinement,

2516
01:29:07,909 --> 01:29:11,112
feeding the offenders only boiled rice as punishment

2517
01:29:11,112 --> 01:29:12,347
for a repeat offense.

2518
01:29:12,347 --> 01:29:14,282
The punishment was severe

2519
01:29:14,282 --> 01:29:18,219
a staggering 200 lashes administered to the bare back.

2520
01:29:18,219 --> 01:29:20,221
Under this officer's leadership,

2521
01:29:20,221 --> 01:29:22,323
I was promoted to the rank of corporal.

2522
01:29:22,323 --> 01:29:23,891
However, rumors circulated

2523
01:29:23,891 --> 01:29:25,960
that he was a compulsive gambler,

2524
01:29:25,960 --> 01:29:28,730
allegedly gambling away the regiments pay.

2525
01:29:28,730 --> 01:29:30,932
Whether this rumor held any truth,

2526
01:29:30,932 --> 01:29:32,467
we indeed went without pay

2527
01:29:32,467 --> 01:29:34,135
for approximately six months,

2528
01:29:34,135 --> 01:29:36,404
despite receiving our rations.

2529
01:29:36,404 --> 01:29:38,673
In response to the dire situation,

2530
01:29:38,673 --> 01:29:40,174
all the enlisted soldiers,

2531
01:29:40,174 --> 01:29:43,411
excluding noncommissioned officers, devised a plan.

2532
01:29:43,411 --> 01:29:45,847
They agreed that on a designated morning parade,

2533
01:29:45,847 --> 01:29:47,281
they would defy the commanding

2534
01:29:47,281 --> 01:29:48,249
officer's orders

2535
01:29:48,249 --> 01:29:49,917
and march in orderly fashion

2536
01:29:49,917 --> 01:29:51,719
to General Dickinson's residence

2537
01:29:51,719 --> 01:29:52,920
about a mile away,

2538
01:29:52,920 --> 01:29:55,323
to lodge a complaint against the colonel.

2539
01:29:55,323 --> 01:29:56,958
When the appointed day arrived,

2540
01:29:56,958 --> 01:29:59,026
they put their plan into action.

2541
01:29:59,026 --> 01:30:00,294
As fate would have it,

2542
01:30:00,294 --> 01:30:02,530
our Colonel was indisposed that day,

2543
01:30:02,530 --> 01:30:04,932
and command fell to the next senior officer,

2544
01:30:04,932 --> 01:30:05,933
a captain.

2545
01:30:05,933 --> 01:30:07,101
When the regiment assembled

2546
01:30:07,101 --> 01:30:09,270
for parade, led by their officers,

2547
01:30:09,270 --> 01:30:11,672
they formed into open column as usual.

2548
01:30:11,672 --> 01:30:14,442
However, when the commanding officer issued orders,

2549
01:30:14,442 --> 01:30:16,544
not a single enlisted man obeyed

2550
01:30:16,544 --> 01:30:19,414
except for the officers and noncommissioned officers.

2551
01:30:19,414 --> 01:30:20,848
It happened that day to be my

2552
01:30:20,848 --> 01:30:23,050
turn to be corporal of the Quarter Guard.

2553
01:30:23,050 --> 01:30:25,052
This being the conduct of the regiment,

2554
01:30:25,052 --> 01:30:26,220
the commanding officer

2555
01:30:26,220 --> 01:30:27,555
ordered every 10th man

2556
01:30:27,555 --> 01:30:29,524
to be confined in the guard house,

2557
01:30:29,524 --> 01:30:32,427
and I, being on the same guard, had to plant sentinels

2558
01:30:32,427 --> 01:30:33,394
over them.

2559
01:30:33,394 --> 01:30:35,530
After these men had been confined,

2560
01:30:35,530 --> 01:30:37,198
all the privates in the regiment

2561
01:30:37,198 --> 01:30:38,866
first fixed bayonets,

2562
01:30:38,866 --> 01:30:40,802
secondly shouldered arms,

2563
01:30:40,802 --> 01:30:43,704
and then marched off the band playing and the drums

2564
01:30:43,704 --> 01:30:45,206
beating alternately

2565
01:30:45,206 --> 01:30:48,242
all the way to the residence of General Dickens.

2566
01:30:48,242 --> 01:30:51,012
When they arrived at the generals, they halted

2567
01:30:51,012 --> 01:30:52,980
and formed in line in front of the house

2568
01:30:52,980 --> 01:30:54,949
in the most orderly manner.

2569
01:30:54,949 --> 01:30:56,751
A man from each of the ten companies

2570
01:30:56,751 --> 01:30:58,352
now stepped out in front,

2571
01:30:58,352 --> 01:31:00,755
and proceeded with his comrades to the generals

2572
01:31:00,755 --> 01:31:02,790
to lodge a complaint in writing,

2573
01:31:02,790 --> 01:31:04,659
I believe, against the colonel.

2574
01:31:04,659 --> 01:31:06,327
After the complaint had been given

2575
01:31:06,327 --> 01:31:08,262
in, they marched regularly back again

2576
01:31:08,262 --> 01:31:10,832
with music and drums, and then dismissed

2577
01:31:10,832 --> 01:31:12,133
after dismissing.

2578
01:31:12,133 --> 01:31:15,069
The first thing they did was to come to the guardhouse

2579
01:31:15,069 --> 01:31:17,104
and release all the prisoners.

2580
01:31:17,104 --> 01:31:19,874
I believe if I or any of the guard had resisted

2581
01:31:19,874 --> 01:31:22,310
or tried in any way to prevent them,

2582
01:31:22,310 --> 01:31:24,045
they would have run us through.

2583
01:31:24,045 --> 01:31:25,446
When we saw, therefore,

2584
01:31:25,446 --> 01:31:28,149
that the whole regiment was of the same mind,

2585
01:31:28,149 --> 01:31:30,451
we just let them have their own will.

2586
01:31:30,451 --> 01:31:32,353
I was in the midst of the prisoners

2587
01:31:32,353 --> 01:31:35,156
when the mutineers rushed in and took them out.

2588
01:31:35,156 --> 01:31:37,291
They offered no violence either to me

2589
01:31:37,291 --> 01:31:38,893
or any of the guard.

2590
01:31:38,893 --> 01:31:41,496
Shortly after, we witnessed the approach of an army

2591
01:31:41,496 --> 01:31:43,364
comprising infantry and cavalry

2592
01:31:43,364 --> 01:31:45,333
units made up of black soldiers,

2593
01:31:45,333 --> 01:31:47,168
led by General Dickens,

2594
01:31:47,168 --> 01:31:49,937
they advanced with field artillery at the forefront.

2595
01:31:49,937 --> 01:31:52,206
The guard quickly assembled in formation

2596
01:31:52,206 --> 01:31:53,708
to salute the general,

2597
01:31:53,708 --> 01:31:55,076
and our entire regiment

2598
01:31:55,076 --> 01:31:56,777
swiftly lined up in front of the guard.

2599
01:31:56,777 --> 01:31:58,012
In response,

2600
01:31:58,012 --> 01:31:59,013
General Dickens

2601
01:31:59,013 --> 01:32:01,682
then positioned his forces into a battle line,

2602
01:32:01,682 --> 01:32:04,218
with the artillery and cavalry leading.

2603
01:32:04,218 --> 01:32:06,120
Once both sides were facing each other,

2604
01:32:06,120 --> 01:32:08,756
the general, mounted on his horse, addressed us.

2605
01:32:08,756 --> 01:32:11,092
22nd, take the command from me.

2606
01:32:11,092 --> 01:32:13,828
The soldiers with bayonets attached an arm shoulder,

2607
01:32:13,828 --> 01:32:15,563
if my memory serves correctly,

2608
01:32:15,563 --> 01:32:17,198
were ordered into a double open

2609
01:32:17,198 --> 01:32:19,233
order march by the rear rank.

2610
01:32:19,233 --> 01:32:20,167
Following orders,

2611
01:32:20,167 --> 01:32:23,237
they executed order arms, then handle arms,

2612
01:32:23,237 --> 01:32:25,940
and finally, in a move that was most humiliating,

2613
01:32:25,940 --> 01:32:27,241
ground arms.

2614
01:32:27,241 --> 01:32:28,242
At this command,

2615
01:32:28,242 --> 01:32:31,579
he ordered his cavalry to charge at the 22nd Regiment,

2616
01:32:31,579 --> 01:32:34,015
compelling them to abandon their weapons.

2617
01:32:34,015 --> 01:32:35,583
The soldiers were then instructed

2618
01:32:35,583 --> 01:32:37,752
to remove their gear and place it on the ground,

2619
01:32:37,752 --> 01:32:39,620
organized by companies,

2620
01:32:39,620 --> 01:32:42,056
they were sent back to their quarters unarmed

2621
01:32:42,056 --> 01:32:43,591
and without their gear,

2622
01:32:43,591 --> 01:32:46,494
with orders to abstain from any duties.

2623
01:32:46,494 --> 01:32:47,428
Following this,

2624
01:32:47,428 --> 01:32:50,064
the guard duty was transferred to supporters

2625
01:32:50,064 --> 01:32:52,266
or black native soldiers

2626
01:32:52,266 --> 01:32:54,468
as the corporal of the quarter, Guard and Moocher

2627
01:32:54,468 --> 01:32:55,603
at the time,

2628
01:32:55,603 --> 01:32:56,971
I reluctantly surrendered

2629
01:32:56,971 --> 01:32:59,540
the two regimental colors of the 22nd,

2630
01:32:59,540 --> 01:33:01,742
along with the rest of the guard.

2631
01:33:01,742 --> 01:33:04,612
To my deep regret, I had to lay down my arms

2632
01:33:04,612 --> 01:33:06,080
and remove my gear,

2633
01:33:06,080 --> 01:33:08,816
sharing the fate of my fellow soldiers.

2634
01:33:08,816 --> 01:33:11,652
This incident appeared to me afterwards a wonderful

2635
01:33:11,652 --> 01:33:12,920
illustration of the manner

2636
01:33:12,920 --> 01:33:15,456
in which the Lord Jesus Christ comes to sinners.

2637
01:33:15,456 --> 01:33:17,224
In the preaching of the gospel,

2638
01:33:17,224 --> 01:33:19,360
the general came to the rebellious band,

2639
01:33:19,360 --> 01:33:21,762
ordering them to lay down their arms.

2640
01:33:21,762 --> 01:33:24,098
The men heard and obeyed the command.

2641
01:33:24,098 --> 01:33:26,934
They laid down their arms and submitted to his will.

2642
01:33:26,934 --> 01:33:27,668
Although aware

2643
01:33:27,668 --> 01:33:29,870
that they should be visited with punishment.

2644
01:33:29,870 --> 01:33:30,805
In like manner,

2645
01:33:30,805 --> 01:33:31,806
the Lord Jesus Christ

2646
01:33:31,806 --> 01:33:35,042
comes to sinners by the preaching of His Word.

2647
01:33:35,042 --> 01:33:37,178
He finds them in a state of rebellion,

2648
01:33:37,178 --> 01:33:39,614
and he conquers them by the power of His word

2649
01:33:39,614 --> 01:33:43,050
and the influence of His Spirit, and lays them low.

2650
01:33:43,050 --> 01:33:46,120
He likewise employs afflicted dispensations

2651
01:33:46,120 --> 01:33:47,521
and even their very sins,

2652
01:33:47,521 --> 01:33:50,257
for the purpose of humbling them before him,

2653
01:33:50,257 --> 01:33:52,827
and of bringing them to their right mind.

2654
01:33:52,827 --> 01:33:56,530
Mark 515 Luke 835.

2655
01:33:56,530 --> 01:33:57,498
Our lieutenant colonel

2656
01:33:57,498 --> 01:33:59,934
continued in bad health until he died.

2657
01:33:59,934 --> 01:34:01,268
I heard that on the very day

2658
01:34:01,268 --> 01:34:02,770
on which he breathed his last,

2659
01:34:02,770 --> 01:34:05,339
which was at some distance from the regiment,

2660
01:34:05,339 --> 01:34:06,974
he ordered one of his black servants

2661
01:34:06,974 --> 01:34:09,010
to be flogged in his presence.

2662
01:34:09,010 --> 01:34:11,679
After he died, I was informed that there were none

2663
01:34:11,679 --> 01:34:13,481
but his servants to bury him,

2664
01:34:13,481 --> 01:34:16,751
and that they buried him as if he had been a dog.

2665
01:34:16,751 --> 01:34:20,221
A short time after this, we got orders to leave Moura

2666
01:34:20,221 --> 01:34:23,190
and to embark in boats prepared to receive us.

2667
01:34:23,190 --> 01:34:24,925
We had, however, to march a few days

2668
01:34:24,925 --> 01:34:26,460
before we came to them.

2669
01:34:26,460 --> 01:34:28,362
The place to which we were ordered was burned.

2670
01:34:28,362 --> 01:34:29,430
Poor.

2671
01:34:29,430 --> 01:34:31,866
One day I felt inclined to read my Bible,

2672
01:34:31,866 --> 01:34:33,300
and I went to a quiet place

2673
01:34:33,300 --> 01:34:35,302
under the shadow of some trees,

2674
01:34:35,302 --> 01:34:37,538
and lay down upon the green grass.

2675
01:34:37,538 --> 01:34:40,675
As I was reading some portion of the Word of God,

2676
01:34:40,675 --> 01:34:42,209
I experienced a delight

2677
01:34:42,209 --> 01:34:44,311
to which I had long been a stranger.

2678
01:34:44,311 --> 01:34:46,681
But I knew nothing of myself as a sinner,

2679
01:34:46,681 --> 01:34:48,616
or of Christ as a Savior.

2680
01:34:48,616 --> 01:34:50,351
Whilst I was thus employed,

2681
01:34:50,351 --> 01:34:51,952
one of the soldiers found me out

2682
01:34:51,952 --> 01:34:54,388
and informed me that there was a letter for me.

2683
01:34:54,388 --> 01:34:56,791
This letter turned out to be from my parents,

2684
01:34:56,791 --> 01:34:57,725
and I wondered at it.

2685
01:34:57,725 --> 01:35:01,328
At the time, as I had not got one from them for years.

2686
01:35:01,328 --> 01:35:04,832
But I soon forgot it and returned to my old practices

2687
01:35:04,832 --> 01:35:06,701
and continued in them all the time.

2688
01:35:06,701 --> 01:35:08,969
We remained in Monterey at length.

2689
01:35:08,969 --> 01:35:10,905
I think about the end of 1806.

2690
01:35:10,905 --> 01:35:14,008
We set out for Burma. Poor but without arms.

2691
01:35:14,008 --> 01:35:15,843
It requires a great number of boats

2692
01:35:15,843 --> 01:35:17,845
to hold a regiment of soldiers.

2693
01:35:17,845 --> 01:35:20,581
I think there were about 20 men in each boat.

2694
01:35:20,581 --> 01:35:22,616
These boats resemble wooden houses.

2695
01:35:22,616 --> 01:35:25,186
They are roofed over to screen the passengers

2696
01:35:25,186 --> 01:35:27,655
from the scorching heat of the sun.

2697
01:35:27,655 --> 01:35:29,790
Each boat is manned by black men.

2698
01:35:29,790 --> 01:35:32,960
We used to sail all day and rest all night.

2699
01:35:32,960 --> 01:35:36,063
I think we sailed about 700 miles down the river

2700
01:35:36,063 --> 01:35:38,065
until we came to Burma.

2701
01:35:38,065 --> 01:35:38,833
Every morning,

2702
01:35:38,833 --> 01:35:41,001
before we loosened from the banks of the river

2703
01:35:41,001 --> 01:35:42,970
to sail down with the stream.

2704
01:35:42,970 --> 01:35:43,971
The native boatmen

2705
01:35:43,971 --> 01:35:46,273
would leave the bowels of the boat with water

2706
01:35:46,273 --> 01:35:47,942
and pray to their idols.

2707
01:35:47,942 --> 01:35:50,010
They scarcely do anything without praying.

2708
01:35:50,010 --> 01:35:53,614
First they are far more zealous in serving their idols

2709
01:35:53,614 --> 01:35:56,851
than we are in serving the living and true God.

2710
01:35:56,851 --> 01:35:58,986
A more pleasant sailed in that down that river

2711
01:35:58,986 --> 01:36:00,855
I think I never had in my life.

2712
01:36:00,855 --> 01:36:03,023
It is indeed a beautiful part of the world,

2713
01:36:03,023 --> 01:36:04,925
and presented a pleasing sight,

2714
01:36:04,925 --> 01:36:07,995
the sun shining gloriously, the birds singing,

2715
01:36:07,995 --> 01:36:10,965
the fields filled with fruit trees laden with fruit

2716
01:36:10,965 --> 01:36:12,900
and with indigo and cotton,

2717
01:36:12,900 --> 01:36:14,401
and almost every other thing

2718
01:36:14,401 --> 01:36:17,071
for the comfort and good of man and beast.

2719
01:36:17,071 --> 01:36:17,805
Likewise,

2720
01:36:17,805 --> 01:36:19,006
we could see rivers running

2721
01:36:19,006 --> 01:36:21,375
in every direction to water the ground.

2722
01:36:21,375 --> 01:36:22,676
Had the psalmist been there,

2723
01:36:22,676 --> 01:36:23,711
he would have said,

2724
01:36:23,711 --> 01:36:26,914
how marvelous are thy works, Lord God Almighty!

2725
01:36:26,914 --> 01:36:29,383
But I was blind, stupid, and ignorant.

2726
01:36:29,383 --> 01:36:31,385
I never saw God and His works

2727
01:36:31,385 --> 01:36:32,920
and his goodness informing them.

2728
01:36:32,920 --> 01:36:34,522
For sinful man.

2729
01:36:34,522 --> 01:36:36,190
I believe I have done the heathen

2730
01:36:36,190 --> 01:36:38,192
great injury by my conduct,

2731
01:36:38,192 --> 01:36:39,727
which I have no doubt prevented

2732
01:36:39,727 --> 01:36:42,029
some of them from receiving the gospel

2733
01:36:42,029 --> 01:36:43,230
and coming down the river.

2734
01:36:43,230 --> 01:36:46,367
I coveted something and bought it from the natives.

2735
01:36:46,367 --> 01:36:48,435
But to my shame I acknowledge it.

2736
01:36:48,435 --> 01:36:50,738
I would not give what they required for it

2737
01:36:50,738 --> 01:36:52,106
and took it away from them

2738
01:36:52,106 --> 01:36:55,442
and gloried in the fact with my ungodly companions.

2739
01:36:55,442 --> 01:36:57,077
I observed in sailing down

2740
01:36:57,077 --> 01:36:59,580
a great many fires on the banks of the river.

2741
01:36:59,580 --> 01:37:01,782
These were kindled by the natives

2742
01:37:01,782 --> 01:37:03,083
who do not bury their dead

2743
01:37:03,083 --> 01:37:06,353
like us, but burn them by the side of the river.

2744
01:37:06,353 --> 01:37:09,223
And it is the request of many before they die, to be

2745
01:37:09,223 --> 01:37:12,660
carried down to the riverside to breed their last.

2746
01:37:12,660 --> 01:37:14,261
There they will lay them down

2747
01:37:14,261 --> 01:37:16,230
and see their friends piling up the wood,

2748
01:37:16,230 --> 01:37:18,232
that is, to burn their bodies to ashes.

2749
01:37:18,232 --> 01:37:20,167
In sailing down the Ganges,

2750
01:37:20,167 --> 01:37:21,769
one of our boats sprung a leak

2751
01:37:21,769 --> 01:37:24,438
and was in great danger of going down in a deep place

2752
01:37:24,438 --> 01:37:26,640
far from the shore, but a kind.

2753
01:37:26,640 --> 01:37:28,209
Providence had so ordered it

2754
01:37:28,209 --> 01:37:31,512
that another boat came alongside and saved the crew.

2755
01:37:31,512 --> 01:37:33,113
The passengers had just time

2756
01:37:33,113 --> 01:37:35,249
to step out of the one boat into the other.

2757
01:37:35,249 --> 01:37:36,617
When she went down,

2758
01:37:36,617 --> 01:37:38,018
they were unable to save

2759
01:37:38,018 --> 01:37:39,587
or bring away with them anything

2760
01:37:39,587 --> 01:37:40,621
but what they had on them.

2761
01:37:40,621 --> 01:37:42,957
So far as I can recollect,

2762
01:37:42,957 --> 01:37:45,326
there was a man and his wife with whom

2763
01:37:45,326 --> 01:37:47,161
I was intimately acquainted,

2764
01:37:47,161 --> 01:37:49,230
who were in the boat that foundered,

2765
01:37:49,230 --> 01:37:51,232
and they told me that they had just time

2766
01:37:51,232 --> 01:37:53,033
to bring what little money they had

2767
01:37:53,033 --> 01:37:54,602
before the boat went down,

2768
01:37:54,602 --> 01:37:55,803
and they very narrowly

2769
01:37:55,803 --> 01:37:57,938
escaped from going down with it.

2770
01:37:57,938 --> 01:38:01,141
One of the soldiers, however, who could swim and dive

2771
01:38:01,141 --> 01:38:03,110
and who had his money with him in the boat

2772
01:38:03,110 --> 01:38:04,211
when she sunk.

2773
01:38:04,211 --> 01:38:06,013
Grieved to lose his all,

2774
01:38:06,013 --> 01:38:09,116
he ventured to dive down to recover what he had lost.

2775
01:38:09,116 --> 01:38:12,753
But it cost him his life, for he never came up again.

2776
01:38:12,753 --> 01:38:13,921
Notwithstanding all these

2777
01:38:13,921 --> 01:38:15,222
remarkable providences

2778
01:38:15,222 --> 01:38:17,558
and signal interposition positions on our behalf,

2779
01:38:17,558 --> 01:38:18,993
none of us seemed inclined

2780
01:38:18,993 --> 01:38:21,095
to lay our preservation to heart.

2781
01:38:21,095 --> 01:38:24,031
The more hardened and depraved amongst us ascribed

2782
01:38:24,031 --> 01:38:25,733
our deliverance to chance

2783
01:38:25,733 --> 01:38:28,202
and to our own activity and exertions.

2784
01:38:28,202 --> 01:38:31,105
So we went on from, in the error of our ways,

2785
01:38:31,105 --> 01:38:32,373
repaying the goodness

2786
01:38:32,373 --> 01:38:35,276
and longsuffering of the Lord with ingratitude.

2787
01:38:35,276 --> 01:38:38,345
And our foolishness was not hid from him.

2788
01:38:38,345 --> 01:38:38,913
At length

2789
01:38:38,913 --> 01:38:39,780
we arrived at Burma

2790
01:38:39,780 --> 01:38:41,548
for where we were stationed for

2791
01:38:41,548 --> 01:38:43,717
about the space of three years.

2792
01:38:43,717 --> 01:38:46,553
Berm poor is nearly 100 miles from Calcutta,

2793
01:38:46,553 --> 01:38:49,890
with large and commodious barracks near the riverside.

2794
01:38:49,890 --> 01:38:50,824
After we landed,

2795
01:38:50,824 --> 01:38:53,661
we got our arms and accouterments back again.

2796
01:38:53,661 --> 01:38:55,129
The outbreak at Matara

2797
01:38:55,129 --> 01:38:57,665
and the cause of it was strictly looked into,

2798
01:38:57,665 --> 01:38:59,133
and the conduct of the Colonel

2799
01:38:59,133 --> 01:39:02,069
in making a bad use of the regimental funds

2800
01:39:02,069 --> 01:39:02,970
and in neglecting

2801
01:39:02,970 --> 01:39:05,339
to pay the men their money when it became due,

2802
01:39:05,339 --> 01:39:06,840
was disapproved of

2803
01:39:06,840 --> 01:39:08,075
as the Colonel was dead,

2804
01:39:08,075 --> 01:39:10,311
and of course could not defend himself,

2805
01:39:10,311 --> 01:39:12,513
all the blame was laid to his charge,

2806
01:39:12,513 --> 01:39:14,381
and so the matter ended.

2807
01:39:14,381 --> 01:39:16,283
I now come back to myself and confess

2808
01:39:16,283 --> 01:39:17,851
I am ashamed to do so.

2809
01:39:17,851 --> 01:39:20,421
I was outwardly moral and decent at home,

2810
01:39:20,421 --> 01:39:22,523
but at heart I was depraved.

2811
01:39:22,523 --> 01:39:25,459
Still, I was restrained from gross outward immorality

2812
01:39:25,459 --> 01:39:27,962
on account of the causes I mentioned before.

2813
01:39:27,962 --> 01:39:29,263
But when I entered the army,

2814
01:39:29,263 --> 01:39:32,566
the inward depravity of my heart gradually broke out.

2815
01:39:32,566 --> 01:39:34,234
I was bad in Guernsey.

2816
01:39:34,234 --> 01:39:36,303
I was worse at the Cape of Good Hope

2817
01:39:36,303 --> 01:39:38,806
and still worse after landing in India.

2818
01:39:38,806 --> 01:39:40,607
But I was exceedingly sinful

2819
01:39:40,607 --> 01:39:41,342
and polluted

2820
01:39:41,342 --> 01:39:42,242
and polluting

2821
01:39:42,242 --> 01:39:45,612
for the first 12 months after I came to Burma for

2822
01:39:45,612 --> 01:39:47,514
I used to be very agreeable formerly

2823
01:39:47,514 --> 01:39:50,217
when drinking along with my ungodly companions,

2824
01:39:50,217 --> 01:39:52,052
and they loved my company.

2825
01:39:52,052 --> 01:39:54,755
But here I became rough and quarrelsome.

2826
01:39:54,755 --> 01:39:56,623
I used formerly to remember what I said

2827
01:39:56,623 --> 01:39:58,592
when under the influence of drink.

2828
01:39:58,592 --> 01:40:00,060
But now I sometimes lost

2829
01:40:00,060 --> 01:40:02,463
all recollection of what I said or did.

2830
01:40:02,463 --> 01:40:03,297
Many a time

2831
01:40:03,297 --> 01:40:05,699
have I made myself worse than a beast with it?

2832
01:40:05,699 --> 01:40:07,534
I remember one time in particular

2833
01:40:07,534 --> 01:40:09,003
I drank to such excess

2834
01:40:09,003 --> 01:40:11,171
as to be unable to walk or stand,

2835
01:40:11,171 --> 01:40:12,639
and was obliged to lie down

2836
01:40:12,639 --> 01:40:13,741
on the ground and wallow

2837
01:40:13,741 --> 01:40:15,042
in my own filthiness

2838
01:40:15,042 --> 01:40:17,644
like a saddle wallowing in the mire.

2839
01:40:17,644 --> 01:40:19,646
Some of my companions, pitying

2840
01:40:19,646 --> 01:40:20,748
my condition,

2841
01:40:20,748 --> 01:40:21,682
lifted me up

2842
01:40:21,682 --> 01:40:24,351
and threw me into the river, knowing I could swim

2843
01:40:24,351 --> 01:40:26,320
and my heart warmed with gratitude

2844
01:40:26,320 --> 01:40:28,856
and love to them for so doing.

2845
01:40:28,856 --> 01:40:29,890
There was a Scotchman

2846
01:40:29,890 --> 01:40:31,458
I fell in with that burned paw

2847
01:40:31,458 --> 01:40:33,327
belonging to another regiment.

2848
01:40:33,327 --> 01:40:35,996
And as I was always particularly fond of my countrymen

2849
01:40:35,996 --> 01:40:37,331
in foreign lands,

2850
01:40:37,331 --> 01:40:38,732
I got him in a few more

2851
01:40:38,732 --> 01:40:41,101
to sit up all night to converse about Scotland.

2852
01:40:41,101 --> 01:40:43,070
Over half a gallon of Iraq,

2853
01:40:43,070 --> 01:40:45,339
and we got quite the worse of drink.

2854
01:40:45,339 --> 01:40:46,006
So you see,

2855
01:40:46,006 --> 01:40:48,242
I did not only do evil to myself,

2856
01:40:48,242 --> 01:40:51,011
but I was the cause of others doing evil.

2857
01:40:51,011 --> 01:40:52,746
I did not only corrupt myself,

2858
01:40:52,746 --> 01:40:55,115
but became a corruptor of others.

2859
01:40:55,115 --> 01:40:56,383
I remember one occasion

2860
01:40:56,383 --> 01:40:58,419
on which one of my most intimate companions

2861
01:40:58,419 --> 01:41:00,020
and I got up in the morning

2862
01:41:00,020 --> 01:41:02,423
and went to the place where the Iraq was sold.

2863
01:41:02,423 --> 01:41:06,126
And there, before stopping, drank nine glasses apiece.

2864
01:41:06,126 --> 01:41:07,161
I had to mount guard.

2865
01:41:07,161 --> 01:41:08,228
Soon after,

2866
01:41:08,228 --> 01:41:10,297
the sergeant major inspected the guard,

2867
01:41:10,297 --> 01:41:12,633
but did not observe me the worse of drink,

2868
01:41:12,633 --> 01:41:14,168
at least, that I knew of,

2869
01:41:14,168 --> 01:41:14,802
and I,

2870
01:41:14,802 --> 01:41:16,236
being corporal of the guard,

2871
01:41:16,236 --> 01:41:18,238
had to go to the front as few men.

2872
01:41:18,238 --> 01:41:20,307
However, after I mounted guard,

2873
01:41:20,307 --> 01:41:21,708
I lay down on the guard bed

2874
01:41:21,708 --> 01:41:24,311
and fell into a sleep like a dead man.

2875
01:41:24,311 --> 01:41:25,579
Sometime in the afternoon

2876
01:41:25,579 --> 01:41:28,282
I awoke and found myself in the barrack room,

2877
01:41:28,282 --> 01:41:31,652
lying in my own bed with all my accouterments off me

2878
01:41:31,652 --> 01:41:34,621
and a comrade corporal standing by my bedside.

2879
01:41:34,621 --> 01:41:37,124
Are not you a pretty fellow to be on guard?

2880
01:41:37,124 --> 01:41:38,926
And you dead drunk,

2881
01:41:38,926 --> 01:41:41,328
that corporal, seeing my condition in the guard room,

2882
01:41:41,328 --> 01:41:41,829
had taken

2883
01:41:41,829 --> 01:41:42,663
my duty,

2884
01:41:42,663 --> 01:41:44,131
and I was to do the same by him

2885
01:41:44,131 --> 01:41:46,033
when it came to be his turn.

2886
01:41:46,033 --> 01:41:48,969
Many a one has been broke and flogged for the crime

2887
01:41:48,969 --> 01:41:51,171
of which I had just been guilty.

2888
01:41:51,171 --> 01:41:53,607
I will recollect the first man who died after

2889
01:41:53,607 --> 01:41:54,942
we came to India.

2890
01:41:54,942 --> 01:41:57,878
He was a Scotchman, and he died drunk.

2891
01:41:57,878 --> 01:41:59,580
After drinking to excess.

2892
01:41:59,580 --> 01:42:02,049
He fell asleep with the stock about his neck,

2893
01:42:02,049 --> 01:42:02,916
and in the morning

2894
01:42:02,916 --> 01:42:06,153
he was found quite dead and black in the face.

2895
01:42:06,153 --> 01:42:07,921
Now this was a dreadful condition

2896
01:42:07,921 --> 01:42:11,625
to leave the world in and appear before a holy God.

2897
01:42:11,625 --> 01:42:12,192
We can have

2898
01:42:12,192 --> 01:42:14,128
no hope of that man hereafter,

2899
01:42:14,128 --> 01:42:16,396
if we believe the word of God.

2900
01:42:16,396 --> 01:42:19,133
All this then I knew, and yet took no warning.

2901
01:42:19,133 --> 01:42:21,902
For I have often been in the same condition,

2902
01:42:21,902 --> 01:42:24,505
and a kind providence spared me.

2903
01:42:24,505 --> 01:42:27,474
And why me? I cannot tell.

2904
01:42:27,474 --> 01:42:29,209
The Lord only knows.

2905
01:42:29,209 --> 01:42:29,910
One morning

2906
01:42:29,910 --> 01:42:32,079
I got orders to take a party of men with me

2907
01:42:32,079 --> 01:42:34,314
and go to the magazine to get ammunition

2908
01:42:34,314 --> 01:42:36,116
for the company to shoot with.

2909
01:42:36,116 --> 01:42:37,918
To which I belonged.

2910
01:42:37,918 --> 01:42:39,453
As was my routine,

2911
01:42:39,453 --> 01:42:41,021
I headed straight to the canteen

2912
01:42:41,021 --> 01:42:43,056
to fetch my morning drink.

2913
01:42:43,056 --> 01:42:45,626
As I made my way, I casually lit a cigar and began

2914
01:42:45,626 --> 01:42:48,996
smoking, oblivious to the potential danger.

2915
01:42:48,996 --> 01:42:51,765
Unbeknownst to me, the quartermaster sergeant

2916
01:42:51,765 --> 01:42:53,967
tasked with distributing ammunition

2917
01:42:53,967 --> 01:42:57,104
suddenly exclaimed in shock and alarm.

2918
01:42:57,104 --> 01:43:00,440
Corporal Flockhart, what are you doing?

2919
01:43:00,440 --> 01:43:03,076
Are you trying to blow up the magazine?

2920
01:43:03,076 --> 01:43:06,747
If memory serves me right, those were his exact words.

2921
01:43:06,747 --> 01:43:08,348
Startled and bewildered,

2922
01:43:08,348 --> 01:43:09,917
I promptly removed the cigar

2923
01:43:09,917 --> 01:43:12,986
from my mouth and stamped it out beneath my foot.

2924
01:43:12,986 --> 01:43:13,820
It occurred to me

2925
01:43:13,820 --> 01:43:14,855
then that there might have been

2926
01:43:14,855 --> 01:43:15,556
loose powder

2927
01:43:15,556 --> 01:43:16,990
scattered on the floor,

2928
01:43:16,990 --> 01:43:19,593
a common occurrence when handling cartridges.

2929
01:43:19,593 --> 01:43:20,427
Had there been,

2930
01:43:20,427 --> 01:43:21,728
the entire magazine

2931
01:43:21,728 --> 01:43:23,797
could have detonated in an instant,

2932
01:43:23,797 --> 01:43:27,134
potentially leading to the loss of all our lives.

2933
01:43:27,134 --> 01:43:28,135
In that moment,

2934
01:43:28,135 --> 01:43:30,170
I didn't pause to consider my actions

2935
01:43:30,170 --> 01:43:32,039
or what I should have done differently.

2936
01:43:32,039 --> 01:43:35,509
Instinctively, I chose to extinguish the cigar.

2937
01:43:35,509 --> 01:43:37,377
Despite my repeated recklessness,

2938
01:43:37,377 --> 01:43:39,513
the Lord saw fit to spare me.

2939
01:43:39,513 --> 01:43:41,715
It's truly a testament to his mercy

2940
01:43:41,715 --> 01:43:44,184
that has accompanied me throughout my life.

2941
01:43:44,184 --> 01:43:46,720
I am filled with all in gratitude,

2942
01:43:46,720 --> 01:43:48,555
pondering why the Lord would extend

2943
01:43:48,555 --> 01:43:50,557
such grace to someone like me

2944
01:43:50,557 --> 01:43:51,425
who repeatedly

2945
01:43:51,425 --> 01:43:52,793
and thoughtlessly wandered down

2946
01:43:52,793 --> 01:43:54,695
the path of self-destruction.

2947
01:43:54,695 --> 01:43:57,397
The quartermaster sergeant did not report me.

2948
01:43:57,397 --> 01:44:00,067
If he did, I never heard any more about it.

2949
01:44:00,067 --> 01:44:02,336
And while I remained in a state of nature,

2950
01:44:02,336 --> 01:44:04,171
I thought no more about it.

2951
01:44:04,171 --> 01:44:06,540
Oh, how blind and ungrateful is man,

2952
01:44:06,540 --> 01:44:08,342
while in a natural state

2953
01:44:08,342 --> 01:44:10,143
to his ever kind and unwearied,

2954
01:44:10,143 --> 01:44:11,612
protector and preserver

2955
01:44:11,612 --> 01:44:14,514
from dangers by night and by day,

2956
01:44:14,514 --> 01:44:16,283
he neither sees nor acknowledges

2957
01:44:16,283 --> 01:44:19,019
the hand of the Lord in preserving or delivering him,

2958
01:44:19,019 --> 01:44:20,621
but ascribes all to chance

2959
01:44:20,621 --> 01:44:23,257
in his own energy and activity.

2960
01:44:23,257 --> 01:44:23,790
I see a

2961
01:44:23,790 --> 01:44:27,694
bush that burns with fire, unconcerned amid the flame.

2962
01:44:27,694 --> 01:44:29,730
Turn aside the sight to admire.

2963
01:44:29,730 --> 01:44:31,632
I, the living wonder him.

2964
01:44:31,632 --> 01:44:32,799
Tell it unto sinners.

2965
01:44:32,799 --> 01:44:36,036
Tell I am, I am out of hell

2966
01:44:36,036 --> 01:44:38,038
I see a stone that hangs on air.

2967
01:44:38,038 --> 01:44:39,439
I see a spark in ocean.

2968
01:44:39,439 --> 01:44:40,274
Lives

2969
01:44:40,274 --> 01:44:44,444
kept alive with death so near I to God the glory give.

2970
01:44:44,444 --> 01:44:47,814
Ever tell to sinners tell I am, I am out of hell.

2971
01:44:47,814 --> 01:44:49,483
Truly the long suffering of God

2972
01:44:49,483 --> 01:44:55,355
in Christ Jesus, to me in particular, is very great.

2973
01:44:55,355 --> 01:44:56,223
Chapter five.

2974
01:44:56,223 --> 01:44:58,258
My conversion.

2975
01:44:58,258 --> 01:44:59,192
How mysterious are

2976
01:44:59,192 --> 01:45:00,394
the means used by the Lord

2977
01:45:00,394 --> 01:45:02,629
to bring sinners from their evil ways?

2978
01:45:02,629 --> 01:45:05,499
This was strikingly manifested in my case,

2979
01:45:05,499 --> 01:45:08,702
as will appear from what I'm going to relate one day.

2980
01:45:08,702 --> 01:45:10,337
Having indulged heavily in drink,

2981
01:45:10,337 --> 01:45:11,838
I followed my usual custom

2982
01:45:11,838 --> 01:45:14,675
and lay down on my bed to sleep off its effects.

2983
01:45:14,675 --> 01:45:15,542
In this state,

2984
01:45:15,542 --> 01:45:16,810
I was abruptly awakened

2985
01:45:16,810 --> 01:45:18,945
by the orderly sergeant of the company,

2986
01:45:18,945 --> 01:45:20,147
who needed me to present

2987
01:45:20,147 --> 01:45:22,416
regimental orders to the officer.

2988
01:45:22,416 --> 01:45:25,786
Disoriented and still under the influence of alcohol,

2989
01:45:25,786 --> 01:45:28,088
I insisted that I was not the orderly.

2990
01:45:28,088 --> 01:45:31,725
However, he persisted, demanding immediate compliance.

2991
01:45:31,725 --> 01:45:33,226
Refusing to oblige,

2992
01:45:33,226 --> 01:45:36,063
I stated firmly that I would not do as he asked.

2993
01:45:36,063 --> 01:45:38,765
He then threatened to confine me to the guardhouse.

2994
01:45:38,765 --> 01:45:39,566
Defiantly,

2995
01:45:39,566 --> 01:45:41,568
I retorted that I would report him to the officer

2996
01:45:41,568 --> 01:45:42,736
if he did.

2997
01:45:42,736 --> 01:45:44,271
Despite my protest,

2998
01:45:44,271 --> 01:45:46,306
I relented and followed his orders,

2999
01:45:46,306 --> 01:45:47,574
only to be intercepted

3000
01:45:47,574 --> 01:45:49,076
on the way by an active sergeant

3001
01:45:49,076 --> 01:45:50,410
sent to detain me

3002
01:45:50,410 --> 01:45:51,845
with the assistance of a corporal

3003
01:45:51,845 --> 01:45:53,280
in a file of the guard.

3004
01:45:53,280 --> 01:45:54,881
They apprehended me and brought me

3005
01:45:54,881 --> 01:45:57,150
as a prisoner to the guardhouse.

3006
01:45:57,150 --> 01:45:57,651
This marked

3007
01:45:57,651 --> 01:45:59,186
the initial step in which God,

3008
01:45:59,186 --> 01:46:01,188
in his mysterious providence,

3009
01:46:01,188 --> 01:46:04,057
intervened to interrupt my reckless behavior,

3010
01:46:04,057 --> 01:46:06,093
though it was indeed my duty to obey

3011
01:46:06,093 --> 01:46:07,461
the sergeant's orders,

3012
01:46:07,461 --> 01:46:10,364
my intoxicated state in sudden awakening

3013
01:46:10,364 --> 01:46:12,165
led to my refusal.

3014
01:46:12,165 --> 01:46:14,768
Consequently, I was subjected to a trial

3015
01:46:14,768 --> 01:46:15,235
by court

3016
01:46:15,235 --> 01:46:17,671
martial for disobedience and insolence

3017
01:46:17,671 --> 01:46:19,473
towards my superior officer.

3018
01:46:19,473 --> 01:46:22,209
This was my first experience of imprisonment,

3019
01:46:22,209 --> 01:46:23,877
during which I spent three days

3020
01:46:23,877 --> 01:46:27,114
reflecting on my actions along side other prisoners

3021
01:46:27,114 --> 01:46:29,816
by examining the articles of war,

3022
01:46:29,816 --> 01:46:31,985
I deeply considered the consequences

3023
01:46:31,985 --> 01:46:33,687
and fully expected to be punished

3024
01:46:33,687 --> 01:46:35,689
severely by flogging.

3025
01:46:35,689 --> 01:46:38,258
When my case was heard, I was found guilty.

3026
01:46:38,258 --> 01:46:39,960
My punishment was demotion

3027
01:46:39,960 --> 01:46:44,331
from corporal to private in a sentence of 150 lashes.

3028
01:46:44,331 --> 01:46:46,233
However, Lieutenant Colonel Dalrymple,

3029
01:46:46,233 --> 01:46:49,336
who led our regiment, decided to cancel the lashes

3030
01:46:49,336 --> 01:46:51,138
in front of the entire regiment.

3031
01:46:51,138 --> 01:46:54,007
Drum major McKee removed my corporal stripes,

3032
01:46:54,007 --> 01:46:55,142
although I was relieved

3033
01:46:55,142 --> 01:46:57,210
to avoid the physical punishment,

3034
01:46:57,210 --> 01:46:59,713
being demoted hurt my pride deeply.

3035
01:46:59,713 --> 01:47:01,281
It affected me greatly,

3036
01:47:01,281 --> 01:47:02,382
but at that time

3037
01:47:02,382 --> 01:47:05,185
it did not lead to any positive change in me,

3038
01:47:05,185 --> 01:47:08,054
and I continued with my previous behaviors.

3039
01:47:08,054 --> 01:47:11,158
I often gathered with my former peers in the barracks,

3040
01:47:11,158 --> 01:47:13,260
where I stood out for my misbehavior,

3041
01:47:13,260 --> 01:47:14,561
using foul language

3042
01:47:14,561 --> 01:47:16,596
that left them in fits of laughter.

3043
01:47:16,596 --> 01:47:17,998
It's quite perplexing

3044
01:47:17,998 --> 01:47:19,833
that I was singled out from the group,

3045
01:47:19,833 --> 01:47:23,403
even as my intention was to continue in wrongdoing.

3046
01:47:23,403 --> 01:47:24,871
In India, it's not rare

3047
01:47:24,871 --> 01:47:27,240
for fiery streaks to fall from the sky.

3048
01:47:27,240 --> 01:47:29,643
Probably because of the intense heat.

3049
01:47:29,643 --> 01:47:30,977
Once I witnessed a fire

3050
01:47:30,977 --> 01:47:32,979
looking like a sword in the sky.

3051
01:47:32,979 --> 01:47:36,082
Shortly after I felt the consequences of my actions

3052
01:47:36,082 --> 01:47:37,317
through illness.

3053
01:47:37,317 --> 01:47:40,387
I reported my condition and was sent to the hospital.

3054
01:47:40,387 --> 01:47:41,822
This was the second step

3055
01:47:41,822 --> 01:47:44,491
the Lord took to bring me to my right mind,

3056
01:47:44,491 --> 01:47:46,660
as I had none of my former companions

3057
01:47:46,660 --> 01:47:48,829
to keep the time from hanging heavy on my hands,

3058
01:47:48,829 --> 01:47:52,466
I had recourse to reading and finding Cook's voyages.

3059
01:47:52,466 --> 01:47:54,634
I perused it with much relish.

3060
01:47:54,634 --> 01:47:56,703
This gave me a taste for reading.

3061
01:47:56,703 --> 01:47:59,873
I thirsted for more and Providence cast alongs.

3062
01:47:59,873 --> 01:48:01,241
Alarm in my way

3063
01:48:01,241 --> 01:48:02,642
in reading that portion of it,

3064
01:48:02,642 --> 01:48:04,644
which speaks of the Day of Judgment

3065
01:48:04,644 --> 01:48:05,979
and of the whole human race

3066
01:48:05,979 --> 01:48:08,215
appearing before the Lord Jesus Christ,

3067
01:48:08,215 --> 01:48:11,551
I felt an unusually solemn impression on my mind.

3068
01:48:11,551 --> 01:48:14,187
I was convinced of the truth of what I had read,

3069
01:48:14,187 --> 01:48:15,088
and felt assured

3070
01:48:15,088 --> 01:48:16,356
that I, too, would be there

3071
01:48:16,356 --> 01:48:19,125
and would have an awful account to give in.

3072
01:48:19,125 --> 01:48:21,361
After reading the book, I laid it down

3073
01:48:21,361 --> 01:48:23,930
while conversing with patients in the hospital.

3074
01:48:23,930 --> 01:48:25,298
I had a habit of swearing

3075
01:48:25,298 --> 01:48:27,367
with almost every word I spoke.

3076
01:48:27,367 --> 01:48:27,968
The Lord,

3077
01:48:27,968 --> 01:48:29,636
resourceful in his ways, used

3078
01:48:29,636 --> 01:48:31,705
an Irish lad to correct me.

3079
01:48:31,705 --> 01:48:33,373
During a moment when I was cursing.

3080
01:48:33,373 --> 01:48:36,910
He pointed out what a swearer you are.

3081
01:48:36,910 --> 01:48:39,112
Surprised? I asked, did I swear?

3082
01:48:39,112 --> 01:48:40,981
And he confirmed I had.

3083
01:48:40,981 --> 01:48:42,449
This made me reflect

3084
01:48:42,449 --> 01:48:45,085
if I was swearing without even realizing it.

3085
01:48:45,085 --> 01:48:47,220
It was definitely time to quit,

3086
01:48:47,220 --> 01:48:48,889
especially when someone like him

3087
01:48:48,889 --> 01:48:50,757
noticed and reproved me.

3088
01:48:50,757 --> 01:48:54,027
From then on, I became more cautious with my words,

3089
01:48:54,027 --> 01:48:54,861
making sure

3090
01:48:54,861 --> 01:48:57,964
not to let any oath slip out unintentionally.

3091
01:48:57,964 --> 01:49:00,800
My conscience became so alert to this issue

3092
01:49:00,800 --> 01:49:01,401
that I spent

3093
01:49:01,401 --> 01:49:02,769
the next two weeks practicing

3094
01:49:02,769 --> 01:49:06,006
how to speak clearly without resorting to swearing.

3095
01:49:06,006 --> 01:49:06,640
This effort

3096
01:49:06,640 --> 01:49:07,974
helped me to eventually stop

3097
01:49:07,974 --> 01:49:09,342
swearing altogether,

3098
01:49:09,342 --> 01:49:12,779
as I resolved never to fall back into that habit.

3099
01:49:12,779 --> 01:49:13,980
The next step I took

3100
01:49:13,980 --> 01:49:17,150
was to forsake the company of those that swore

3101
01:49:17,150 --> 01:49:18,852
there were six of us in a mess,

3102
01:49:18,852 --> 01:49:20,287
and we were all swears.

3103
01:49:20,287 --> 01:49:24,624
I said, cut off my mess, I shall eat by myself.

3104
01:49:24,624 --> 01:49:27,060
They asked me the reason I would not eat with them.

3105
01:49:27,060 --> 01:49:29,896
I replied, because you swear.

3106
01:49:29,896 --> 01:49:30,630
This being done,

3107
01:49:30,630 --> 01:49:32,299
I retired to a table by myself

3108
01:49:32,299 --> 01:49:34,367
and asked God's blessing on my food

3109
01:49:34,367 --> 01:49:36,403
in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ,

3110
01:49:36,403 --> 01:49:38,905
and got an answer to my prayer.

3111
01:49:38,905 --> 01:49:40,340
I think I shall never forget

3112
01:49:40,340 --> 01:49:42,442
how sweet that meal was to me.

3113
01:49:42,442 --> 01:49:45,679
It had a different relish from what it had before.

3114
01:49:45,679 --> 01:49:48,782
The reader will see how gradually the Lord drew me

3115
01:49:48,782 --> 01:49:52,319
with the cords of love, and with the bands of a man,

3116
01:49:52,319 --> 01:49:54,120
knowing that the sergeant of the hospital

3117
01:49:54,120 --> 01:49:55,722
was a religious man,

3118
01:49:55,722 --> 01:49:58,024
I asked him for the loan of a religious book,

3119
01:49:58,024 --> 01:49:59,492
which he gave me.

3120
01:49:59,492 --> 01:50:02,162
It was his duty to allow any of the patients

3121
01:50:02,162 --> 01:50:03,330
who were able

3122
01:50:03,330 --> 01:50:04,564
and felt inclined,

3123
01:50:04,564 --> 01:50:07,167
to take a walk on the flat roof of the hospital.

3124
01:50:07,167 --> 01:50:09,035
After the sun went down.

3125
01:50:09,035 --> 01:50:11,671
I may mention that there was a battlement all around

3126
01:50:11,671 --> 01:50:12,872
the roof of the hospital

3127
01:50:12,872 --> 01:50:14,941
to keep people from falling over.

3128
01:50:14,941 --> 01:50:17,344
Now, my mind being seriously impressed.

3129
01:50:17,344 --> 01:50:20,413
I had no pleasure in talking with worldly people.

3130
01:50:20,413 --> 01:50:22,382
I therefore forsook their company

3131
01:50:22,382 --> 01:50:24,351
and joined the pious sergeant.

3132
01:50:24,351 --> 01:50:26,119
Seeing that I was very desirous

3133
01:50:26,119 --> 01:50:27,754
to read religious books,

3134
01:50:27,754 --> 01:50:28,922
he told me that reading

3135
01:50:28,922 --> 01:50:29,489
too many

3136
01:50:29,489 --> 01:50:31,424
would tend to confuse my mind

3137
01:50:31,424 --> 01:50:34,060
and advise me to study the Bible.

3138
01:50:34,060 --> 01:50:36,563
I took his advice and forsook the company

3139
01:50:36,563 --> 01:50:38,298
of my worldly companions,

3140
01:50:38,298 --> 01:50:40,834
which caused them to reproach me.

3141
01:50:40,834 --> 01:50:41,768
Their reproaches,

3142
01:50:41,768 --> 01:50:44,404
however, did not tend to discourage me.

3143
01:50:44,404 --> 01:50:46,673
They tended rather to make me more decided

3144
01:50:46,673 --> 01:50:48,141
in joining the sergeant

3145
01:50:48,141 --> 01:50:51,478
and casting in my lot with the people of God.

3146
01:50:51,478 --> 01:50:53,847
The sergeant had a private room for himself,

3147
01:50:53,847 --> 01:50:55,682
and he told me that there was a person

3148
01:50:55,682 --> 01:50:59,285
who came and united with him in family worship,

3149
01:50:59,285 --> 01:51:02,856
and if I chose to join them, he would make me welcome.

3150
01:51:02,856 --> 01:51:05,659
I was very glad of the offer and went regularly,

3151
01:51:05,659 --> 01:51:08,762
and the Lord blessed the means of grace to my soul.

3152
01:51:08,762 --> 01:51:11,564
Sometimes the sergeant read a sermon of flavors

3153
01:51:11,564 --> 01:51:13,400
or spoke from the Word of God,

3154
01:51:13,400 --> 01:51:14,167
and my mind

3155
01:51:14,167 --> 01:51:15,935
would be deeply impressed with the belief

3156
01:51:15,935 --> 01:51:18,204
that he knew everything that I did.

3157
01:51:18,204 --> 01:51:19,039
At another time,

3158
01:51:19,039 --> 01:51:20,440
the thought came into my mind

3159
01:51:20,440 --> 01:51:23,043
that the Lord was whispering into his ear

3160
01:51:23,043 --> 01:51:24,544
everything about me.

3161
01:51:24,544 --> 01:51:26,780
I can see now that it was the Spirit of Christ

3162
01:51:26,780 --> 01:51:28,581
telling me everything I did,

3163
01:51:28,581 --> 01:51:30,617
as in the case of the woman,

3164
01:51:30,617 --> 01:51:32,419
I was gradually melted down.

3165
01:51:32,419 --> 01:51:35,221
I said to him that I would like to be a Christian.

3166
01:51:35,221 --> 01:51:36,956
He said that the life of the Christian

3167
01:51:36,956 --> 01:51:39,125
was a continual warfare.

3168
01:51:39,125 --> 01:51:41,928
I replied that warfare or no warfare,

3169
01:51:41,928 --> 01:51:44,064
I was willing to engage in it.

3170
01:51:44,064 --> 01:51:45,432
What the sergeant said to me

3171
01:51:45,432 --> 01:51:47,500
in 1807 has been fully verified,

3172
01:51:47,500 --> 01:51:49,836
in my experience ever since, and will be

3173
01:51:49,836 --> 01:51:51,371
till I give up the ghost.

3174
01:51:51,371 --> 01:51:54,474
I began now to go to an empty ward to confess my sins

3175
01:51:54,474 --> 01:51:57,811
alone before God, and to review my past life.

3176
01:51:57,811 --> 01:52:00,714
At such times, when the patients saw me,

3177
01:52:00,714 --> 01:52:03,083
they all burst into such fits of laughter

3178
01:52:03,083 --> 01:52:05,218
as almost cracked their jaws.

3179
01:52:05,218 --> 01:52:07,987
I knew the patients that laughed at me and remarked

3180
01:52:07,987 --> 01:52:11,391
that not one of them came out of the hospital alive.

3181
01:52:11,391 --> 01:52:13,059
I continued to attend the meetings

3182
01:52:13,059 --> 01:52:14,494
led by the sergeant,

3183
01:52:14,494 --> 01:52:15,395
and there were moments

3184
01:52:15,395 --> 01:52:18,064
when my heart was so filled with Christ's love

3185
01:52:18,064 --> 01:52:20,900
that I returned home feeling truly joyful.

3186
01:52:20,900 --> 01:52:22,702
It seemed as though I was surrounded

3187
01:52:22,702 --> 01:52:24,003
by all of God's angels

3188
01:52:24,003 --> 01:52:28,608
rejoicing, reminiscent of the sentiment in Luke 15,

3189
01:52:28,608 --> 01:52:31,177
I felt as though the spirit was cleansing my sins

3190
01:52:31,177 --> 01:52:32,679
with the blood of Christ,

3191
01:52:32,679 --> 01:52:35,515
placing the burden of these sins upon me,

3192
01:52:35,515 --> 01:52:39,052
making it difficult for me to even raise my head

3193
01:52:39,052 --> 01:52:41,187
despite the weight of my sins,

3194
01:52:41,187 --> 01:52:43,923
I felt a readiness to depart from this world.

3195
01:52:43,923 --> 01:52:44,958
Yet I was reminded

3196
01:52:44,958 --> 01:52:47,127
that God's thoughts are not our thoughts,

3197
01:52:47,127 --> 01:52:49,362
nor his ways, our ways.

3198
01:52:49,362 --> 01:52:51,331
The Lord had other plans for me.

3199
01:52:51,331 --> 01:52:52,832
After falling asleep one night,

3200
01:52:52,832 --> 01:52:55,435
I awoke to a profound sense of dread.

3201
01:52:55,435 --> 01:52:58,505
It felt as if the sorrows of death encompassed me.

3202
01:52:58,505 --> 01:53:01,174
The pains of hell got hold upon me.

3203
01:53:01,174 --> 01:53:03,376
I found trouble and sorrow.

3204
01:53:03,376 --> 01:53:06,346
It was as if Satan himself was tormenting me,

3205
01:53:06,346 --> 01:53:08,281
leading me into temptation, similar

3206
01:53:08,281 --> 01:53:10,350
to Jesus in the wilderness.

3207
01:53:10,350 --> 01:53:13,286
The most terrifying thoughts invaded my mind,

3208
01:53:13,286 --> 01:53:15,155
including the fear that I had committed

3209
01:53:15,155 --> 01:53:18,792
the unpardonable sin and squandered my birthright,

3210
01:53:18,792 --> 01:53:21,361
my conscience became fully alert,

3211
01:53:21,361 --> 01:53:24,130
vividly reminding me of my past sins.

3212
01:53:24,130 --> 01:53:25,064
It seemed as though

3213
01:53:25,064 --> 01:53:28,368
God was looking upon me with disapproval, leaving me

3214
01:53:28,368 --> 01:53:31,938
in a state of despair without hope for salvation.

3215
01:53:31,938 --> 01:53:35,074
The tempter even suggested suicide as an escape

3216
01:53:35,074 --> 01:53:36,476
from my torment.

3217
01:53:36,476 --> 01:53:39,245
On one occasion, while on the hospital's rooftop,

3218
01:53:39,245 --> 01:53:41,581
the thought of jumping off crossed my mind

3219
01:53:41,581 --> 01:53:43,383
and I was almost persuaded.

3220
01:53:43,383 --> 01:53:44,417
Similarly,

3221
01:53:44,417 --> 01:53:46,920
I felt a strong urge to throw myself into a

3222
01:53:46,920 --> 01:53:48,288
well at the hospital.

3223
01:53:48,288 --> 01:53:49,489
In desperate fashion.

3224
01:53:49,489 --> 01:53:51,958
I asked the hospital sergeant to restrain me at night

3225
01:53:51,958 --> 01:53:54,661
to prevent me from succumbing to these temptations,

3226
01:53:54,661 --> 01:53:57,197
but he could not comprehend the nature of my struggles

3227
01:53:57,197 --> 01:53:59,532
and did not follow through with my request.

3228
01:53:59,532 --> 01:54:02,402
I cannot detail every temptation I faced.

3229
01:54:02,402 --> 01:54:03,770
The examples I've shared

3230
01:54:03,770 --> 01:54:06,439
should give some indication of my ordeal.

3231
01:54:06,439 --> 01:54:08,007
I resonated with the Apostle

3232
01:54:08,007 --> 01:54:10,810
Paul's words in Romans seven nine,

3233
01:54:10,810 --> 01:54:13,746
but when the commandment came, sin revived,

3234
01:54:13,746 --> 01:54:15,215
and I died.

3235
01:54:15,215 --> 01:54:16,249
My sins

3236
01:54:16,249 --> 01:54:17,650
which had lain dormant

3237
01:54:17,650 --> 01:54:20,420
now overwhelmed me like a revived giant.

3238
01:54:20,420 --> 01:54:23,289
The divine law being spiritual revealed the depth

3239
01:54:23,289 --> 01:54:24,557
of my sins, extending

3240
01:54:24,557 --> 01:54:26,793
even to my thoughts and intentions.

3241
01:54:26,793 --> 01:54:30,230
I was plagued by dreadful and blasphemous thoughts,

3242
01:54:30,230 --> 01:54:32,065
afraid to even open my Bible

3243
01:54:32,065 --> 01:54:34,934
or look up, fearing divine retribution.

3244
01:54:34,934 --> 01:54:38,805
A voice from heaven seemed to urge, confess your sins,

3245
01:54:38,805 --> 01:54:42,642
piercing my heart with guilt and leaving me restless.

3246
01:54:42,642 --> 01:54:45,645
For nearly a month, sleep eluded me as I feared

3247
01:54:45,645 --> 01:54:48,948
that closing my eyes might mean awakening in hell.

3248
01:54:48,948 --> 01:54:52,151
This period of intense spiritual turmoil prompted me

3249
01:54:52,151 --> 01:54:55,388
to reflect deeply on my life, recalling my actions,

3250
01:54:55,388 --> 01:54:58,391
locations, companions, and sins.

3251
01:54:58,391 --> 01:55:00,059
After recognizing my sins,

3252
01:55:00,059 --> 01:55:02,095
I deeply felt the Lord's correction,

3253
01:55:02,095 --> 01:55:04,631
making the weight of my transgressions

3254
01:55:04,631 --> 01:55:06,299
painfully clear to me,

3255
01:55:06,299 --> 01:55:07,500
led by the Holy Spirit

3256
01:55:07,500 --> 01:55:10,470
with my spirit broken and my soul deeply wounded,

3257
01:55:10,470 --> 01:55:12,438
I turned to the fountain opened

3258
01:55:12,438 --> 01:55:16,109
as mentioned in Zechariah chapter 13, seeking mercy

3259
01:55:16,109 --> 01:55:17,911
through the sacrifice of the lamb,

3260
01:55:17,911 --> 01:55:20,947
I prayed for healing for my wounded spirit,

3261
01:55:20,947 --> 01:55:23,549
for peace, for my troubled conscience,

3262
01:55:23,549 --> 01:55:25,652
and for liberation from the heavy guilt

3263
01:55:25,652 --> 01:55:27,387
burdening my soul.

3264
01:55:27,387 --> 01:55:30,156
This was my state for several months

3265
01:55:30,156 --> 01:55:30,523
I would

3266
01:55:30,523 --> 01:55:33,226
take my Bible and seek out the most secluded place

3267
01:55:33,226 --> 01:55:34,460
I could find.

3268
01:55:34,460 --> 01:55:36,095
Not knowing much about the Bible

3269
01:55:36,095 --> 01:55:37,997
and feeling lost in darkness,

3270
01:55:37,997 --> 01:55:39,832
I struggled with where to start

3271
01:55:39,832 --> 01:55:42,468
or which part of God's word to read first.

3272
01:55:42,468 --> 01:55:45,371
The distress in my mind is hard to explain.

3273
01:55:45,371 --> 01:55:48,007
I felt trapped in a deep pit, stuck

3274
01:55:48,007 --> 01:55:51,210
in the mud of my inherent and personal sins.

3275
01:55:51,210 --> 01:55:53,012
As a patient in the hospital,

3276
01:55:53,012 --> 01:55:54,080
I had the opportunity

3277
01:55:54,080 --> 01:55:56,282
to spend 2 or 3 hours alone each day

3278
01:55:56,282 --> 01:55:58,685
without anyone noticing my absence.

3279
01:55:58,685 --> 01:56:01,854
I devoted entire nights to reading, reflecting,

3280
01:56:01,854 --> 01:56:03,990
and confessing my sins.

3281
01:56:03,990 --> 01:56:05,591
I kept on with my efforts,

3282
01:56:05,591 --> 01:56:08,061
using every means available to me.

3283
01:56:08,061 --> 01:56:12,565
I prayed constantly, night and day, never giving up.

3284
01:56:12,565 --> 01:56:15,301
Despite this, Satan often tried to scare me by

3285
01:56:15,301 --> 01:56:18,671
suggesting that I would find myself in hell each night

3286
01:56:18,671 --> 01:56:20,373
I stood firm against this fear,

3287
01:56:20,373 --> 01:56:22,241
knowing that he was lying.

3288
01:56:22,241 --> 01:56:24,210
I was certain that the Lord would not reveal

3289
01:56:24,210 --> 01:56:25,545
my fate to the devil,

3290
01:56:25,545 --> 01:56:29,282
certainly not specifying my damnation at midnight,

3291
01:56:29,282 --> 01:56:30,350
another challenge came

3292
01:56:30,350 --> 01:56:32,285
while I was dining in the sergeant's mess,

3293
01:56:32,285 --> 01:56:34,754
where the table was always richly laid.

3294
01:56:34,754 --> 01:56:37,657
The devil tried to convince me that by eating there

3295
01:56:37,657 --> 01:56:40,159
I was indulging my flesh too much.

3296
01:56:40,159 --> 01:56:42,862
Heeding this deceit, I decided to eat separately,

3297
01:56:42,862 --> 01:56:46,432
choosing only curry or boiled rice for my meals,

3298
01:56:46,432 --> 01:56:49,268
which eventually reduced me to a mere skeleton.

3299
01:56:49,268 --> 01:56:52,338
The devil's intimidation didn't stop there.

3300
01:56:52,338 --> 01:56:54,440
It left me in such a terrified state

3301
01:56:54,440 --> 01:56:57,310
that I was too scared to share my fears with anyone.

3302
01:56:57,310 --> 01:56:58,811
It wasn't until my strength

3303
01:56:58,811 --> 01:56:59,278
had nearly

3304
01:56:59,278 --> 01:57:01,848
left me that I confided in another sergeant,

3305
01:57:01,848 --> 01:57:03,583
expressing my irrational fear

3306
01:57:03,583 --> 01:57:04,684
that the meat was cursed

3307
01:57:04,684 --> 01:57:06,819
and that I was too frightened to eat it.

3308
01:57:06,819 --> 01:57:07,954
Soon after,

3309
01:57:07,954 --> 01:57:09,122
I realized the truth

3310
01:57:09,122 --> 01:57:11,958
that every creature of God is good

3311
01:57:11,958 --> 01:57:13,526
and nothing is to be rejected.

3312
01:57:13,526 --> 01:57:15,528
If it is received with thanksgiving,

3313
01:57:15,528 --> 01:57:18,531
for it is made holy by the Word of God in prayer,

3314
01:57:18,531 --> 01:57:21,300
as stated in first Timothy four four,

3315
01:57:21,300 --> 01:57:24,303
during my meals my mind was in turmoil,

3316
01:57:24,303 --> 01:57:26,472
so I placed the Bible on the table,

3317
01:57:26,472 --> 01:57:30,009
randomly selecting a passage to focus on.

3318
01:57:30,009 --> 01:57:31,110
I would read a few words

3319
01:57:31,110 --> 01:57:33,112
from the verses mentioned earlier,

3320
01:57:33,112 --> 01:57:34,847
take a couple of bites of my food,

3321
01:57:34,847 --> 01:57:38,051
and repeat the process until I finished eating.

3322
01:57:38,051 --> 01:57:40,620
By integrating scripture into my meal time

3323
01:57:40,620 --> 01:57:41,687
in this manner,

3324
01:57:41,687 --> 01:57:43,289
I stood firm against the devil's

3325
01:57:43,289 --> 01:57:45,091
attempts to unsettle me.

3326
01:57:45,091 --> 01:57:46,492
Eventually, this practice

3327
01:57:46,492 --> 01:57:47,360
led to the devil

3328
01:57:47,360 --> 01:57:48,961
leaving me in peace,

3329
01:57:48,961 --> 01:57:51,898
and over time, my health began to improve.

3330
01:57:51,898 --> 01:57:53,699
Sometime before a church group

3331
01:57:53,699 --> 01:57:55,501
had formed within the regiment,

3332
01:57:55,501 --> 01:57:56,569
a few of its members

3333
01:57:56,569 --> 01:57:58,838
would occasionally visit the sergeant's room.

3334
01:57:58,838 --> 01:58:01,107
It was there they learned about the turmoil.

3335
01:58:01,107 --> 01:58:02,442
I was experiencing

3336
01:58:02,442 --> 01:58:05,078
and the temptations I had faced recently.

3337
01:58:05,078 --> 01:58:06,179
Rallying around me.

3338
01:58:06,179 --> 01:58:07,713
They encouraged me with the words

3339
01:58:07,713 --> 01:58:09,549
believe on the Lord Jesus Christ,

3340
01:58:09,549 --> 01:58:13,653
and you shall be saved as found in acts 1631.

3341
01:58:13,653 --> 01:58:14,787
Despite my efforts,

3342
01:58:14,787 --> 01:58:16,022
belief eluded me

3343
01:58:16,022 --> 01:58:19,392
at that moment, believing felt as impossible as trying

3344
01:58:19,392 --> 01:58:22,695
to lift Edinburgh Castle and throw it into the sea.

3345
01:58:22,695 --> 01:58:24,964
I needed to understand the sin of disbelief.

3346
01:58:24,964 --> 01:58:26,099
As it said,

3347
01:58:26,099 --> 01:58:26,866
when he comes,

3348
01:58:26,866 --> 01:58:29,769
he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin

3349
01:58:29,769 --> 01:58:30,636
and righteousness

3350
01:58:30,636 --> 01:58:32,405
and judgment of sin,

3351
01:58:32,405 --> 01:58:34,740
because they do not believe in me.

3352
01:58:34,740 --> 01:58:36,375
John 16 eight.

3353
01:58:36,375 --> 01:58:39,045
Their well-meaning advice, paradoxically,

3354
01:58:39,045 --> 01:58:41,647
seemed to make me feel even more despondent

3355
01:58:41,647 --> 01:58:43,716
if such a thing were possible.

3356
01:58:43,716 --> 01:58:46,919
Stuck in disbelief, I felt as though I was weighed

3357
01:58:46,919 --> 01:58:49,255
and found lacking in the eyes of heaven,

3358
01:58:49,255 --> 01:58:51,891
utterly devoid of faith, tormented

3359
01:58:51,891 --> 01:58:53,025
as if I were in hell.

3360
01:58:53,025 --> 01:58:54,160
In this desperate state,

3361
01:58:54,160 --> 01:58:55,928
I retreated to my own ward,

3362
01:58:55,928 --> 01:58:58,631
pleading for mercy through the blood of the lamb.

3363
01:58:58,631 --> 01:59:01,367
I spent the entire night in fervent prayer.

3364
01:59:01,367 --> 01:59:05,171
I continued steadfast in my devotion, immersing myself

3365
01:59:05,171 --> 01:59:06,305
in the scriptures,

3366
01:59:06,305 --> 01:59:08,674
acknowledging my wrongdoings,

3367
01:59:08,674 --> 01:59:11,010
in seeking guidance through prayer.

3368
01:59:11,010 --> 01:59:13,980
My experience was akin to that of Noah's dove,

3369
01:59:13,980 --> 01:59:16,282
tirelessly searching for a place to rest,

3370
01:59:16,282 --> 01:59:17,917
but finding none.

3371
01:59:17,917 --> 01:59:20,987
I felt as if I were a fugitive, seeking sanctuary

3372
01:59:20,987 --> 01:59:22,355
in a city of refuge

3373
01:59:22,355 --> 01:59:25,525
with the avenger of blood close on my heels.

3374
01:59:25,525 --> 01:59:27,193
My situation could be compared

3375
01:59:27,193 --> 01:59:28,561
to lot's ordeal in Sodom,

3376
01:59:28,561 --> 01:59:30,696
especially when he attempted to convince his sons

3377
01:59:30,696 --> 01:59:32,498
in law to leave the doomed city,

3378
01:59:32,498 --> 01:59:33,533
or when he confronted

3379
01:59:33,533 --> 01:59:36,035
the degenerate mob threatening his home.

3380
01:59:36,035 --> 01:59:37,870
It was in these moments of utter

3381
01:59:37,870 --> 01:59:40,173
despair, surrounded by malevolence,

3382
01:59:40,173 --> 01:59:41,674
that the Lord extended his hand

3383
01:59:41,674 --> 01:59:43,042
and rescued me

3384
01:59:43,042 --> 01:59:45,311
on a particularly pivotal day,

3385
01:59:45,311 --> 01:59:46,579
a sergeant approached me,

3386
01:59:46,579 --> 01:59:47,880
proposing that we retreat

3387
01:59:47,880 --> 01:59:50,683
to a serene spot for him, singing and prayer.

3388
01:59:50,683 --> 01:59:51,217
Together.

3389
01:59:51,217 --> 01:59:52,151
We sang the fourth

3390
01:59:52,151 --> 01:59:54,353
and fifth stanzas of the 32nd Psalm,

3391
01:59:54,353 --> 01:59:55,621
from which collection

3392
01:59:55,621 --> 01:59:58,457
finding solace and strength in the verses.

3393
01:59:58,457 --> 02:00:02,128
While I kept my inner guilt hidden, I found no peace.

3394
02:00:02,128 --> 02:00:04,230
Your anger burned within my heart,

3395
02:00:04,230 --> 02:00:06,933
tormenting my troubled mind.

3396
02:00:06,933 --> 02:00:09,168
Then I admitted my troubled thoughts,

3397
02:00:09,168 --> 02:00:11,370
unveiled my hidden sins.

3398
02:00:11,370 --> 02:00:14,106
Your forgiving grace absolve my mistakes.

3399
02:00:14,106 --> 02:00:16,842
Your grace confirmed my forgiveness.

3400
02:00:16,842 --> 02:00:18,644
While singing the final verse,

3401
02:00:18,644 --> 02:00:22,515
I reflected within myself I have done all this.

3402
02:00:22,515 --> 02:00:24,850
I have confessed my sins.

3403
02:00:24,850 --> 02:00:26,552
Then, like a sudden revelation,

3404
02:00:26,552 --> 02:00:28,688
a thought pierced my mind.

3405
02:00:28,688 --> 02:00:30,957
I must let go of all my actions,

3406
02:00:30,957 --> 02:00:33,159
allowing them to fall to the ground.

3407
02:00:33,159 --> 02:00:35,294
As I surrendered to this realization,

3408
02:00:35,294 --> 02:00:37,129
I felt deserving of nothing but

3409
02:00:37,129 --> 02:00:41,067
damnation, fully anticipating it as my fate.

3410
02:00:41,067 --> 02:00:43,302
But then, by the sovereign grace of the Lord,

3411
02:00:43,302 --> 02:00:44,604
the spirit reached out

3412
02:00:44,604 --> 02:00:46,372
and ushered me in through Christ,

3413
02:00:46,372 --> 02:00:48,407
the doorway to salvation.

3414
02:00:48,407 --> 02:00:50,610
This was solely by his divine will.

3415
02:00:50,610 --> 02:00:52,511
Though I anticipated hell,

3416
02:00:52,511 --> 02:00:56,282
he bestowed upon me a heavenly peace within my soul.

3417
02:00:56,282 --> 02:00:59,652
It was an astounding mercy, a transition from darkness

3418
02:00:59,652 --> 02:01:00,152
to light,

3419
02:01:00,152 --> 02:01:01,621
from the domain of darkness

3420
02:01:01,621 --> 02:01:04,190
to the kingdom of God's beloved son.

3421
02:01:04,190 --> 02:01:06,859
With my guilt lifted and my pardon assured,

3422
02:01:06,859 --> 02:01:09,862
peace flooded into my soul like a flowing river.

3423
02:01:09,862 --> 02:01:12,632
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith,

3424
02:01:12,632 --> 02:01:15,835
we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

3425
02:01:15,835 --> 02:01:18,537
My faith originated from hearing the Word of God,

3426
02:01:18,537 --> 02:01:19,939
not from any human source

3427
02:01:19,939 --> 02:01:22,575
or from within myself, but from God himself.

3428
02:01:22,575 --> 02:01:25,711
It was his gift, and Christ was its originator.

3429
02:01:25,711 --> 02:01:27,013
This profound truth brings

3430
02:01:27,013 --> 02:01:29,282
to mind the passage in Corinthians

3431
02:01:29,282 --> 02:01:33,152
For God who said, let light shine out of darkness,

3432
02:01:33,152 --> 02:01:34,920
made his light shine in our hearts

3433
02:01:34,920 --> 02:01:35,755
to give us the light

3434
02:01:35,755 --> 02:01:37,790
of the knowledge of God's glory

3435
02:01:37,790 --> 02:01:40,159
displayed in the face of Christ.

3436
02:01:40,159 --> 02:01:42,228
This was indeed realized in my experience.

3437
02:01:42,228 --> 02:01:43,396
At that moment.

3438
02:01:43,396 --> 02:01:44,964
I felt the light, life,

3439
02:01:44,964 --> 02:01:47,166
and joy flooding into my heart.

3440
02:01:47,166 --> 02:01:50,670
Not just into my mind, but deep into my soul.

3441
02:01:50,670 --> 02:01:52,371
My heart was warmed by his love,

3442
02:01:52,371 --> 02:01:54,273
poured out by the Holy Spirit,

3443
02:01:54,273 --> 02:01:55,174
and I rejoiced

3444
02:01:55,174 --> 02:01:58,411
with an indescribable joy full of glory.

3445
02:01:58,411 --> 02:02:00,813
Now I perceive the Bible as a new book,

3446
02:02:00,813 --> 02:02:02,548
and I began to grasp the spirit

3447
02:02:02,548 --> 02:02:06,185
of the apostle's words, where he declares, and we know

3448
02:02:06,185 --> 02:02:07,920
that the Son of God has come

3449
02:02:07,920 --> 02:02:09,855
and has given us understanding,

3450
02:02:09,855 --> 02:02:13,492
so that we may know him who is true, and we are in him

3451
02:02:13,492 --> 02:02:16,095
who is true. In His Son Jesus Christ.

3452
02:02:16,095 --> 02:02:18,931
He is the true God and eternal life.

3453
02:02:18,931 --> 02:02:20,966
I began to realize that all the trials

3454
02:02:20,966 --> 02:02:21,867
and tribulations

3455
02:02:21,867 --> 02:02:22,735
I had endured over

3456
02:02:22,735 --> 02:02:24,003
the last two years

3457
02:02:24,003 --> 02:02:26,872
had a greater purpose for my eternal well-being.

3458
02:02:26,872 --> 02:02:28,040
Throughout this period,

3459
02:02:28,040 --> 02:02:30,843
my mind was tormented, my spirit wounded.

3460
02:02:30,843 --> 02:02:33,612
For a wounded spirit who can bear.

3461
02:02:33,612 --> 02:02:36,182
Yet the Lord graciously healed my wounded spirit

3462
02:02:36,182 --> 02:02:37,683
through the application of the blood

3463
02:02:37,683 --> 02:02:40,319
in righteousness of his dear son,

3464
02:02:40,319 --> 02:02:42,254
I discovered a book about God's people

3465
02:02:42,254 --> 02:02:44,357
entering into a covenant with him.

3466
02:02:44,357 --> 02:02:46,359
This inspired me to find a quiet place

3467
02:02:46,359 --> 02:02:47,993
to reflect on key passages

3468
02:02:47,993 --> 02:02:49,261
such as

3469
02:02:49,261 --> 02:02:51,297
they shall ask the way to Zion,

3470
02:02:51,297 --> 02:02:52,965
looking towards it, saying,

3471
02:02:52,965 --> 02:02:54,700
let's join ourselves to the Lord,

3472
02:02:54,700 --> 02:02:56,268
and an everlasting covenant

3473
02:02:56,268 --> 02:02:58,304
that will never be forgotten.

3474
02:02:58,304 --> 02:03:00,139
Also, the call to gather

3475
02:03:00,139 --> 02:03:01,374
my faithful ones

3476
02:03:01,374 --> 02:03:04,243
who have committed to me through sacrifice,

3477
02:03:04,243 --> 02:03:08,314
and even foreigners who commit to serving the Lord,

3478
02:03:08,314 --> 02:03:12,151
loving his name and becoming his servants, those

3479
02:03:12,151 --> 02:03:16,021
who honor the Sabbath and steadfastly keep my covenant

3480
02:03:16,021 --> 02:03:18,691
as I reasoned with myself before the Lord,

3481
02:03:18,691 --> 02:03:22,328
I acknowledge my age of 29 and the weight of my sins.

3482
02:03:22,328 --> 02:03:24,397
I had served the devil all my life,

3483
02:03:24,397 --> 02:03:27,032
leaving a trail of sins wherever I went.

3484
02:03:27,032 --> 02:03:29,835
The depth of my transgressions weighed heavily on me,

3485
02:03:29,835 --> 02:03:31,871
especially considering the potential harm

3486
02:03:31,871 --> 02:03:33,939
I had caused to countless souls.

3487
02:03:33,939 --> 02:03:35,941
The remorse I felt was bitter.

3488
02:03:35,941 --> 02:03:37,610
Knowing that these individuals were

3489
02:03:37,610 --> 02:03:41,514
now beyond my reach, their fates sealed for eternity.

3490
02:03:41,514 --> 02:03:44,116
One man, a companion of mine in sin,

3491
02:03:44,116 --> 02:03:47,186
met an unfortunate end that deeply troubled me.

3492
02:03:47,186 --> 02:03:49,255
He passed away in the hospital,

3493
02:03:49,255 --> 02:03:52,124
yet I hesitated to visit him on his deathbed,

3494
02:03:52,124 --> 02:03:55,161
fearing that the Lord, in his righteous indignation,

3495
02:03:55,161 --> 02:03:57,997
might take me away with a stroke.

3496
02:03:57,997 --> 02:04:00,366
During this time my constant prayer was,

3497
02:04:00,366 --> 02:04:03,903
oh Lord, if it be your will, spare me in your service

3498
02:04:03,903 --> 02:04:06,071
for as long as I serve Satan.

3499
02:04:06,071 --> 02:04:07,139
Make me a zealous

3500
02:04:07,139 --> 02:04:08,040
in saving souls

3501
02:04:08,040 --> 02:04:09,475
and converting sinners

3502
02:04:09,475 --> 02:04:10,609
through my good example,

3503
02:04:10,609 --> 02:04:11,377
as I once was,

3504
02:04:11,377 --> 02:04:12,378
in destroying souls

3505
02:04:12,378 --> 02:04:15,748
and leading my fellow ministry with my bad example,

3506
02:04:15,748 --> 02:04:18,350
I know I can never fully make amends for the evil

3507
02:04:18,350 --> 02:04:19,351
I have done,

3508
02:04:19,351 --> 02:04:22,321
but I desire to show my repentance for my past ways

3509
02:04:22,321 --> 02:04:24,323
of ignorance and unbelief.

3510
02:04:24,323 --> 02:04:27,393
Here I am, ready to serve you in any capacity,

3511
02:04:27,393 --> 02:04:30,596
regardless of the outcome, whether it leads to freedom

3512
02:04:30,596 --> 02:04:34,533
or imprisonment, sickness or health, life or death.

3513
02:04:34,533 --> 02:04:37,503
Here I am willing to accept your will.

3514
02:04:37,503 --> 02:04:39,271
Here I signed my name to the covenant

3515
02:04:39,271 --> 02:04:41,173
I had made with God in myself,

3516
02:04:41,173 --> 02:04:43,442
and I believe that through the grace of God,

3517
02:04:43,442 --> 02:04:44,910
I have been enabled to perform

3518
02:04:44,910 --> 02:04:47,012
my vows, though imperfectly,

3519
02:04:47,012 --> 02:04:49,181
from that hour till the present time.

3520
02:04:49,181 --> 02:04:52,518
The fourth day of February, 1855.

3521
02:04:52,518 --> 02:04:55,054
I appeal to all those who have known me in Edinburgh

3522
02:04:55,054 --> 02:04:56,322
or elsewhere.

3523
02:04:56,322 --> 02:04:58,991
I think the Lord has answered the first petition.

3524
02:04:58,991 --> 02:05:00,693
He has even spared me longer

3525
02:05:00,693 --> 02:05:03,329
to serve him than I serve the devil.

3526
02:05:03,329 --> 02:05:05,898
I cannot, however, say that I have served the Lord

3527
02:05:05,898 --> 02:05:07,533
without sin.

3528
02:05:07,533 --> 02:05:09,835
I hope the Lord will forgive the sin of my most

3529
02:05:09,835 --> 02:05:11,170
holy things.

3530
02:05:11,170 --> 02:05:13,939
I desire to cast myself in my duties

3531
02:05:13,939 --> 02:05:15,641
at the foot of the cross,

3532
02:05:15,641 --> 02:05:18,711
and take Christ in his merits and satisfaction,

3533
02:05:18,711 --> 02:05:21,514
and rest upon him alone, and to acknowledge myself

3534
02:05:21,514 --> 02:05:23,249
in eternal debtor, to sovereign

3535
02:05:23,249 --> 02:05:25,317
grace and redeeming love.

3536
02:05:25,317 --> 02:05:27,152
With regard to the second petition

3537
02:05:27,152 --> 02:05:30,456
or second part of my prayer, I cannot, of course, be

3538
02:05:30,456 --> 02:05:32,157
expected to speak with decision

3539
02:05:32,157 --> 02:05:33,692
on this side of the grave.

3540
02:05:33,692 --> 02:05:36,529
The Day of judgment alone can reveal to what extent it

3541
02:05:36,529 --> 02:05:38,731
has been heard and answered.

3542
02:05:38,731 --> 02:05:39,031
At the

3543
02:05:39,031 --> 02:05:40,032
hospital, I began to

3544
02:05:40,032 --> 02:05:42,501
read the Bible to patients and pray with them.

3545
02:05:42,501 --> 02:05:44,270
When I tried to speak with an old friend

3546
02:05:44,270 --> 02:05:46,171
from my less virtuous days,

3547
02:05:46,171 --> 02:05:48,240
hoping to bring about a change in him,

3548
02:05:48,240 --> 02:05:50,809
the effort was met with disappointment.

3549
02:05:50,809 --> 02:05:51,310
My friends

3550
02:05:51,310 --> 02:05:54,513
old habits proved difficult to overcome, reminiscent

3551
02:05:54,513 --> 02:05:54,880
of how

3552
02:05:54,880 --> 02:05:57,416
melanchthon felt about the enduring influence

3553
02:05:57,416 --> 02:05:58,984
of our inherent nature

3554
02:05:58,984 --> 02:06:00,119
of old Adam,

3555
02:06:00,119 --> 02:06:01,520
suggesting that my friend's

3556
02:06:01,520 --> 02:06:03,422
longstanding ways were too ingrained

3557
02:06:03,422 --> 02:06:05,424
for me to change in my own power.

3558
02:06:05,424 --> 02:06:06,392
Not giving up,

3559
02:06:06,392 --> 02:06:08,494
I turned my attention to another patient,

3560
02:06:08,494 --> 02:06:10,796
a former member of the 22nd Regiment,

3561
02:06:10,796 --> 02:06:12,565
who had once been active in his faith

3562
02:06:12,565 --> 02:06:14,967
but had strayed due to temptation.

3563
02:06:14,967 --> 02:06:16,835
Despite his deep knowledge of Scripture

3564
02:06:16,835 --> 02:06:19,238
and previous enthusiasm for his faith,

3565
02:06:19,238 --> 02:06:21,840
he had dramatically fallen into sin.

3566
02:06:21,840 --> 02:06:23,542
Even a reprimand from the chaplain

3567
02:06:23,542 --> 02:06:25,411
over his inappropriate reading choices

3568
02:06:25,411 --> 02:06:27,813
didn't steer him back toward the Bible.

3569
02:06:27,813 --> 02:06:30,683
He opened up about his struggles with sin,

3570
02:06:30,683 --> 02:06:32,985
but his health rapidly declined.

3571
02:06:32,985 --> 02:06:35,020
He suffered from severe swelling

3572
02:06:35,020 --> 02:06:37,323
and an insatiable hunger.

3573
02:06:37,323 --> 02:06:40,326
My efforts to guide him spiritually were in vain,

3574
02:06:40,326 --> 02:06:42,361
and he died shortly afterward.

3575
02:06:42,361 --> 02:06:45,497
His death was a profound lesson for me, highlighting

3576
02:06:45,497 --> 02:06:48,701
the danger of living a life of spiritual pretense.

3577
02:06:48,701 --> 02:06:49,802
It was a reminder

3578
02:06:49,802 --> 02:06:53,906
that outward piety can mask a true absence of faith,

3579
02:06:53,906 --> 02:06:57,743
and the consequences of such hypocrisy can be severe.

3580
02:06:57,743 --> 02:06:59,244
This experience underscored

3581
02:06:59,244 --> 02:07:00,546
the importance of sincere

3582
02:07:00,546 --> 02:07:01,280
faith

3583
02:07:01,280 --> 02:07:04,683
and the peril of neglecting one spiritual well-being.

3584
02:07:04,683 --> 02:07:07,953
Another person who also professed to be religious met

3585
02:07:07,953 --> 02:07:10,289
a similarly unfortunate fate.

3586
02:07:10,289 --> 02:07:11,824
He and I used to go to prayer meetings

3587
02:07:11,824 --> 02:07:13,392
together early in the morning,

3588
02:07:13,392 --> 02:07:15,661
when it was still dark outside,

3589
02:07:15,661 --> 02:07:18,430
aware that I was grappling with guilt over my sins

3590
02:07:18,430 --> 02:07:20,332
and earnestly seeking God.

3591
02:07:20,332 --> 02:07:22,835
He once asked me after a prayer meeting,

3592
02:07:22,835 --> 02:07:25,604
Robert, have you found peace yet?

3593
02:07:25,604 --> 02:07:26,905
When I told him I hadn't,

3594
02:07:26,905 --> 02:07:29,375
he suggested I read Ephesians two, saying,

3595
02:07:29,375 --> 02:07:31,944
that chapter will reveal your true nature

3596
02:07:31,944 --> 02:07:34,813
and the transformation grace can bring.

3597
02:07:34,813 --> 02:07:37,750
Remarkably, despite his understanding of the Bible,

3598
02:07:37,750 --> 02:07:40,953
this man fell into the trap of alcohol addiction.

3599
02:07:40,953 --> 02:07:43,589
When sober, his guilt overwhelmed him,

3600
02:07:43,589 --> 02:07:44,523
pushing him back

3601
02:07:44,523 --> 02:07:47,026
to drinking in a futile attempt to find relief,

3602
02:07:47,026 --> 02:07:49,328
only deepening his distress.

3603
02:07:49,328 --> 02:07:51,630
In the grip of this dreadful state of mind,

3604
02:07:51,630 --> 02:07:53,899
he resorted to the unthinkable.

3605
02:07:53,899 --> 02:07:57,236
Retrieving a razor from his belongings, he inflicted

3606
02:07:57,236 --> 02:08:00,572
a fatal wound upon himself from ear to ear.

3607
02:08:00,572 --> 02:08:02,541
I was the first to discover him

3608
02:08:02,541 --> 02:08:04,043
lying lifeless in a shed

3609
02:08:04,043 --> 02:08:06,211
at the rear of the barracks and Burma,

3610
02:08:06,211 --> 02:08:09,515
where horses sought refuge from the scorching heat.

3611
02:08:09,515 --> 02:08:10,916
This tragic sight served

3612
02:08:10,916 --> 02:08:11,216
as yet

3613
02:08:11,216 --> 02:08:12,718
another solemn reminder for me

3614
02:08:12,718 --> 02:08:14,453
to steer clear of the sins that had brought

3615
02:08:14,453 --> 02:08:17,289
about the downfall of these men.

3616
02:08:17,289 --> 02:08:19,892
I remember at another time going to hear a sermon

3617
02:08:19,892 --> 02:08:21,293
preached by a soldier,

3618
02:08:21,293 --> 02:08:24,096
and was particularly struck by one of his remarks.

3619
02:08:24,096 --> 02:08:26,899
He said that the object of everyone who came to hear

3620
02:08:26,899 --> 02:08:29,768
the gospel should be to meet with Christ.

3621
02:08:29,768 --> 02:08:32,404
He said, moreover, that they who did not find him

3622
02:08:32,404 --> 02:08:33,172
would go away

3623
02:08:33,172 --> 02:08:35,140
mourning as a dove mourns

3624
02:08:35,140 --> 02:08:37,109
during the absence of her maid.

3625
02:08:37,109 --> 02:08:39,511
At that time, when the sermon was done,

3626
02:08:39,511 --> 02:08:40,913
I went near to the place

3627
02:08:40,913 --> 02:08:42,214
where the unhappy man

3628
02:08:42,214 --> 02:08:44,883
destroyed himself and sat down upon a bank.

3629
02:08:44,883 --> 02:08:47,720
My heart almost broken and my mind dark.

3630
02:08:47,720 --> 02:08:48,520
I said,

3631
02:08:48,520 --> 02:08:50,489
blessed Lord, I went to seek thee,

3632
02:08:50,489 --> 02:08:52,057
and did not find thee.

3633
02:08:52,057 --> 02:08:54,393
And then, mentioning the words of the soldier,

3634
02:08:54,393 --> 02:08:55,928
I go mourning as a dove

3635
02:08:55,928 --> 02:08:57,830
during the absence of her maid.

3636
02:08:57,830 --> 02:09:00,332
I did not continue long in this state of mind,

3637
02:09:00,332 --> 02:09:02,501
until I got an answer to my prayer,

3638
02:09:02,501 --> 02:09:04,269
and experienced a gracious sense

3639
02:09:04,269 --> 02:09:05,804
of the Lord's presence.

3640
02:09:05,804 --> 02:09:08,540
Truly, the Lord moves in a mysterious way

3641
02:09:08,540 --> 02:09:09,975
to perform his wonderful

3642
02:09:09,975 --> 02:09:12,411
works among the children of men.

3643
02:09:12,411 --> 02:09:13,278
I may remark that

3644
02:09:13,278 --> 02:09:14,880
whenever I found any happiness

3645
02:09:14,880 --> 02:09:17,416
or delight in devoting myself to a service,

3646
02:09:17,416 --> 02:09:19,051
the devil was exceedingly busy

3647
02:09:19,051 --> 02:09:21,120
and trying to deprive me of my comfort,

3648
02:09:21,120 --> 02:09:23,255
throwing his fiery darts at me,

3649
02:09:23,255 --> 02:09:26,358
tossing me up and down, and endeavoring to persuade me

3650
02:09:26,358 --> 02:09:27,793
that my religious convictions

3651
02:09:27,793 --> 02:09:30,162
and impressions were all a delusion.

3652
02:09:30,162 --> 02:09:32,998
Instead of being discouraged by these temptations,

3653
02:09:32,998 --> 02:09:34,233
I was only led to return

3654
02:09:34,233 --> 02:09:36,568
more frequently to the throne of grace.

3655
02:09:36,568 --> 02:09:39,138
I was beginning to understand his devices,

3656
02:09:39,138 --> 02:09:41,874
and also to know something of the Word of God.

3657
02:09:41,874 --> 02:09:44,409
His temptations made me search the scriptures

3658
02:09:44,409 --> 02:09:50,048
so that by and by I got better acquainted with them.

3659
02:09:50,048 --> 02:09:51,917
Chapter six

3660
02:09:51,917 --> 02:09:53,552
Beyond the Hospital Walls

3661
02:09:53,552 --> 02:09:56,255
A journey of Faith in baptism.

3662
02:09:56,255 --> 02:09:58,757
Around this time I heard of a missionary preaching

3663
02:09:58,757 --> 02:10:00,292
near by the hospital.

3664
02:10:00,292 --> 02:10:02,528
Driven by my earnest quest for Christ,

3665
02:10:02,528 --> 02:10:03,929
I climbed over the hospital

3666
02:10:03,929 --> 02:10:05,998
wall in my hospital attire

3667
02:10:05,998 --> 02:10:08,066
and made my way to the sermon.

3668
02:10:08,066 --> 02:10:09,768
Finding a discreet spot,

3669
02:10:09,768 --> 02:10:12,738
I listened intently until the service concluded.

3670
02:10:12,738 --> 02:10:14,840
Thinking I had gone unnoticed,

3671
02:10:14,840 --> 02:10:16,441
I returned to the hospital,

3672
02:10:16,441 --> 02:10:18,210
but someone had observed me

3673
02:10:18,210 --> 02:10:20,045
and informed the missionary, Mr.

3674
02:10:20,045 --> 02:10:23,448
Chamberlain, a Baptist minister and colleague of Mr.

3675
02:10:23,448 --> 02:10:27,152
Carey, renowned for his Scripture translations.

3676
02:10:27,152 --> 02:10:27,519
Mr.

3677
02:10:27,519 --> 02:10:30,088
Chamberlain, showing kindness,

3678
02:10:30,088 --> 02:10:33,425
visited me and took a keen interest in my well-being.

3679
02:10:33,425 --> 02:10:35,861
He provided deeper religious instruction

3680
02:10:35,861 --> 02:10:38,230
and made regular visits to the hospital.

3681
02:10:38,230 --> 02:10:40,933
He graciously invited me to his home to join in family

3682
02:10:40,933 --> 02:10:42,835
worship with him and his wife.

3683
02:10:42,835 --> 02:10:45,571
Securing permission from the doctors,

3684
02:10:45,571 --> 02:10:47,039
I arranged for a doily,

3685
02:10:47,039 --> 02:10:49,908
a bedstead like carriage carried by four natives

3686
02:10:49,908 --> 02:10:51,410
to transport me to Mr.

3687
02:10:51,410 --> 02:10:54,313
Chamberlain's house. As I was still recovering.

3688
02:10:54,313 --> 02:10:55,380
This journey, though

3689
02:10:55,380 --> 02:10:56,715
physically taxing,

3690
02:10:56,715 --> 02:10:59,451
proved beneficial for my soul's well-being,

3691
02:10:59,451 --> 02:11:00,853
akin to the healing effect

3692
02:11:00,853 --> 02:11:02,988
of the daily ride on my body.

3693
02:11:02,988 --> 02:11:03,355
Mr.

3694
02:11:03,355 --> 02:11:04,590
Chamberlain's residence,

3695
02:11:04,590 --> 02:11:07,059
situated not far from the Ganges,

3696
02:11:07,059 --> 02:11:08,327
became a sanctuary

3697
02:11:08,327 --> 02:11:10,495
where my spiritual health flourished.

3698
02:11:10,495 --> 02:11:10,929
Mr.

3699
02:11:10,929 --> 02:11:13,932
Chamberlain had a godly wife for his helpmate.

3700
02:11:13,932 --> 02:11:17,102
They were a loving couple and equally yoked together,

3701
02:11:17,102 --> 02:11:19,404
he would say when about to engage in family

3702
02:11:19,404 --> 02:11:22,908
worship, my dear, you will raise the tune.

3703
02:11:22,908 --> 02:11:23,709
Mr. and Mrs.

3704
02:11:23,709 --> 02:11:26,245
Chamberlain were truly consistent Christians.

3705
02:11:26,245 --> 02:11:27,579
Their religion was embodied

3706
02:11:27,579 --> 02:11:29,648
in every action of their lives.

3707
02:11:29,648 --> 02:11:31,016
They were living epistles

3708
02:11:31,016 --> 02:11:33,652
which might be known and read of all men.

3709
02:11:33,652 --> 02:11:34,052
Mr.

3710
02:11:34,052 --> 02:11:35,621
Chamberlain used to go out in the morning

3711
02:11:35,621 --> 02:11:38,257
before the sun was up to the banks of the Ganges,

3712
02:11:38,257 --> 02:11:40,158
to preach to the natives.

3713
02:11:40,158 --> 02:11:43,262
His primary goal was to assemble a congregation,

3714
02:11:43,262 --> 02:11:46,131
often targeting Brahmins for conversation,

3715
02:11:46,131 --> 02:11:47,666
engaging them in discussions

3716
02:11:47,666 --> 02:11:49,668
about the fallacy of idol worship

3717
02:11:49,668 --> 02:11:52,571
and the rationality of worshiping the creator.

3718
02:11:52,571 --> 02:11:55,207
He emphasized salvation through Jesus Christ,

3719
02:11:55,207 --> 02:11:57,309
who came to redeem sinners.

3720
02:11:57,309 --> 02:11:59,912
As word spread of his debates with Brahmins,

3721
02:11:59,912 --> 02:12:00,812
a congregation

3722
02:12:00,812 --> 02:12:01,914
quickly formed,

3723
02:12:01,914 --> 02:12:04,950
providing him with a platform to preach the gospel.

3724
02:12:04,950 --> 02:12:07,753
Through these interactions, numerous individuals

3725
02:12:07,753 --> 02:12:09,221
turned away from idolatry

3726
02:12:09,221 --> 02:12:12,057
to embrace the worship of the living God.

3727
02:12:12,057 --> 02:12:12,858
One morning

3728
02:12:12,858 --> 02:12:14,126
he came home rather late

3729
02:12:14,126 --> 02:12:16,061
when I happened to be in his house.

3730
02:12:16,061 --> 02:12:16,962
As soon as he came

3731
02:12:16,962 --> 02:12:18,597
in, he threw himself down on a sofa

3732
02:12:18,597 --> 02:12:21,800
and cried out my head, my head!

3733
02:12:21,800 --> 02:12:23,502
His wife came to him instantly

3734
02:12:23,502 --> 02:12:24,569
to offer her assistance,

3735
02:12:24,569 --> 02:12:26,305
saying, my dear,

3736
02:12:26,305 --> 02:12:27,272
why did you stay out

3737
02:12:27,272 --> 02:12:29,942
so long to be scorched with the sun?

3738
02:12:29,942 --> 02:12:33,478
He replied, when I was about to conclude my discourse,

3739
02:12:33,478 --> 02:12:35,047
some fresh hearers came up,

3740
02:12:35,047 --> 02:12:37,449
and I was loathe to lose the opportunity.

3741
02:12:37,449 --> 02:12:40,052
This was a lesson to me, and I never forgot it.

3742
02:12:40,052 --> 02:12:40,452
Mr.

3743
02:12:40,452 --> 02:12:43,488
Chamberlain possessed a true missionary spirit.

3744
02:12:43,488 --> 02:12:44,656
He infected me,

3745
02:12:44,656 --> 02:12:45,958
and I have since endeavored,

3746
02:12:45,958 --> 02:12:48,360
through God's grace, to infect others.

3747
02:12:48,360 --> 02:12:49,962
I got a slip from this geranium,

3748
02:12:49,962 --> 02:12:51,997
and many a one, through God's blessing,

3749
02:12:51,997 --> 02:12:54,466
I trust, has since got a slip from me.

3750
02:12:54,466 --> 02:12:55,534
For two full years

3751
02:12:55,534 --> 02:12:56,668
I was in the hospital

3752
02:12:56,668 --> 02:13:00,405
during which I experienced profound spiritual turmoil,

3753
02:13:00,405 --> 02:13:02,941
like a rough stone receiving a harsh polish.

3754
02:13:02,941 --> 02:13:05,010
My sinful life and actions

3755
02:13:05,010 --> 02:13:07,679
became as bitter to me as gall and wormwood.

3756
02:13:07,679 --> 02:13:08,747
It was through the inner

3757
02:13:08,747 --> 02:13:10,983
workings of the spirit that my hardened heart

3758
02:13:10,983 --> 02:13:13,485
and stubborn soul were finally broken.

3759
02:13:13,485 --> 02:13:16,121
God led me through a fiery furnace of affliction,

3760
02:13:16,121 --> 02:13:17,823
and for this I am grateful.

3761
02:13:17,823 --> 02:13:19,591
Although my trials and sufferings

3762
02:13:19,591 --> 02:13:21,960
felt far from joyful at the time,

3763
02:13:21,960 --> 02:13:23,996
they ultimately produced in me

3764
02:13:23,996 --> 02:13:26,398
the peaceful fruits of righteousness,

3765
02:13:26,398 --> 02:13:28,233
I now recognize the value

3766
02:13:28,233 --> 02:13:30,302
and see the benefits of my trials.

3767
02:13:30,302 --> 02:13:31,937
Echoing David's words,

3768
02:13:31,937 --> 02:13:35,273
it is good for me that I have been afflicted.

3769
02:13:35,273 --> 02:13:38,844
The Lord uses various means to draw sinners to himself

3770
02:13:38,844 --> 02:13:41,013
as conveyed by his servant Jude.

3771
02:13:41,013 --> 02:13:43,115
He shows compassion to some,

3772
02:13:43,115 --> 02:13:47,019
making a distinction while saving others through fear,

3773
02:13:47,019 --> 02:13:48,487
pulling them from the fire

3774
02:13:48,487 --> 02:13:49,421
and despising

3775
02:13:49,421 --> 02:13:53,058
even the clothing stained by sinful deeds.

3776
02:13:53,058 --> 02:13:55,227
This was exactly my experience.

3777
02:13:55,227 --> 02:13:57,062
The lasting impact of suffering

3778
02:13:57,062 --> 02:13:59,731
for sin is unforgettable throughout my life.

3779
02:13:59,731 --> 02:14:00,499
I'll never forget

3780
02:14:00,499 --> 02:14:03,001
how I was disciplined for my misdeeds,

3781
02:14:03,001 --> 02:14:05,904
reminding me of an episode from my childhood.

3782
02:14:05,904 --> 02:14:07,839
My father had a cherished songbird

3783
02:14:07,839 --> 02:14:09,941
he greatly adored and valued.

3784
02:14:09,941 --> 02:14:10,675
In our house

3785
02:14:10,675 --> 02:14:11,843
there was a cat that appeared

3786
02:14:11,843 --> 02:14:14,312
determined to catch the songbird.

3787
02:14:14,312 --> 02:14:14,946
Seeing this,

3788
02:14:14,946 --> 02:14:16,615
my father took action,

3789
02:14:16,615 --> 02:14:17,416
holding the cat

3790
02:14:17,416 --> 02:14:18,417
and pressing its nose

3791
02:14:18,417 --> 02:14:20,852
against the cages wires until it bled,

3792
02:14:20,852 --> 02:14:22,187
which effectively deterred

3793
02:14:22,187 --> 02:14:24,256
the cat from any further attempts.

3794
02:14:24,256 --> 02:14:26,925
Similarly, the punishment and suffering

3795
02:14:26,925 --> 02:14:28,360
I experienced for my sins

3796
02:14:28,360 --> 02:14:30,429
rendered them so bitter and painful

3797
02:14:30,429 --> 02:14:31,930
that it led me to detest

3798
02:14:31,930 --> 02:14:34,266
and shun them from that point forward.

3799
02:14:34,266 --> 02:14:37,069
Reflecting on this, I resonate with the words.

3800
02:14:37,069 --> 02:14:40,038
Before I was afflicted, I went astray.

3801
02:14:40,038 --> 02:14:42,007
But since I have been afflicted,

3802
02:14:42,007 --> 02:14:44,009
I have kept your word.

3803
02:14:44,009 --> 02:14:44,743
After enduring

3804
02:14:44,743 --> 02:14:46,445
two years of suffering in the hospital,

3805
02:14:46,445 --> 02:14:47,979
by God's grace,

3806
02:14:47,979 --> 02:14:49,915
I recovered and rejoined my regiment

3807
02:14:49,915 --> 02:14:51,550
to resume my duties.

3808
02:14:51,550 --> 02:14:54,986
Shortly after my return, we received orders to move

3809
02:14:54,986 --> 02:14:56,288
to Calcutta,

3810
02:14:56,288 --> 02:14:59,624
located approximately 70 miles away from Burma.

3811
02:14:59,624 --> 02:15:01,293
Upon our arrival in Calcutta,

3812
02:15:01,293 --> 02:15:02,561
we set up camp on the open

3813
02:15:02,561 --> 02:15:04,262
ground outside Fort William.

3814
02:15:04,262 --> 02:15:07,566
As the barracks were already occupied by other troops,

3815
02:15:07,566 --> 02:15:09,634
we remained here some time

3816
02:15:09,634 --> 02:15:11,970
and there being a church in the regiment,

3817
02:15:11,970 --> 02:15:13,939
it was connected with the Baptists

3818
02:15:13,939 --> 02:15:15,974
and the members, all knowing of the change

3819
02:15:15,974 --> 02:15:17,476
that had passed upon me,

3820
02:15:17,476 --> 02:15:18,643
hailed me as a man

3821
02:15:18,643 --> 02:15:20,579
that had repented of his sins

3822
02:15:20,579 --> 02:15:22,981
and believed in the Lord Jesus Christ,

3823
02:15:22,981 --> 02:15:26,551
and wished me to be baptized and to join the church.

3824
02:15:26,551 --> 02:15:27,319
Having first

3825
02:15:27,319 --> 02:15:28,720
given myself to the Lord,

3826
02:15:28,720 --> 02:15:31,490
I was willing to give myself also to them.

3827
02:15:31,490 --> 02:15:34,192
But I was prejudiced against being baptized,

3828
02:15:34,192 --> 02:15:35,894
and all the reasonings that man could

3829
02:15:35,894 --> 02:15:38,430
reason would not have persuaded me.

3830
02:15:38,430 --> 02:15:41,933
I experienced much anxiety and even distress of mind

3831
02:15:41,933 --> 02:15:43,668
regarding this matter.

3832
02:15:43,668 --> 02:15:44,836
I lost a whole night's

3833
02:15:44,836 --> 02:15:46,438
sleep in endeavoring to find out

3834
02:15:46,438 --> 02:15:49,407
whether adult baptism was agreeable to Scripture

3835
02:15:49,407 --> 02:15:51,576
and sanctioned by the Lord Jesus,

3836
02:15:51,576 --> 02:15:53,612
I spent the night in prayer to God

3837
02:15:53,612 --> 02:15:55,447
and in studying His word.

3838
02:15:55,447 --> 02:15:56,148
At last

3839
02:15:56,148 --> 02:15:57,482
I came to the conclusion

3840
02:15:57,482 --> 02:15:58,717
after a most careful

3841
02:15:58,717 --> 02:16:00,652
and prayerful study of the subject.

3842
02:16:00,652 --> 02:16:02,554
And whatever is not of faith is sin.

3843
02:16:02,554 --> 02:16:04,723
And I reasoned thus with myself,

3844
02:16:04,723 --> 02:16:06,691
when I was born, I was a weekly child

3845
02:16:06,691 --> 02:16:08,627
and thought not likely to live

3846
02:16:08,627 --> 02:16:10,562
my father, thinking it would endanger

3847
02:16:10,562 --> 02:16:12,164
any chance I might have of life,

3848
02:16:12,164 --> 02:16:14,599
took me to the church, sent for the minister

3849
02:16:14,599 --> 02:16:15,667
to sprinkle me

3850
02:16:15,667 --> 02:16:18,603
and put up a prayer and called it baptism.

3851
02:16:18,603 --> 02:16:21,840
My father, as I am informed, being an unbeliever

3852
02:16:21,840 --> 02:16:24,476
thought if I died, I should go to heaven

3853
02:16:24,476 --> 02:16:26,044
after being sprinkled.

3854
02:16:26,044 --> 02:16:29,080
When, however, I became enlightened from above,

3855
02:16:29,080 --> 02:16:32,551
I came to the conclusion that it was all sin together

3856
02:16:32,551 --> 02:16:34,953
because it was done in unbelief.

3857
02:16:34,953 --> 02:16:37,822
My father was an unbeliever that held me up.

3858
02:16:37,822 --> 02:16:40,592
I was an unbeliever because I was born in sin

3859
02:16:40,592 --> 02:16:41,726
and was unconscious

3860
02:16:41,726 --> 02:16:43,495
at the time of what was done to me.

3861
02:16:43,495 --> 02:16:46,231
And the minister that christened me was a moderate.

3862
02:16:46,231 --> 02:16:49,067
He was the parish minister of Old Kilpatrick.

3863
02:16:49,067 --> 02:16:51,236
He had a large farm near his church and manse.

3864
02:16:51,236 --> 02:16:53,171
And although I wish to be charitable,

3865
02:16:53,171 --> 02:16:55,941
I am afraid that he minded is far more than he minded

3866
02:16:55,941 --> 02:16:57,242
his flock.

3867
02:16:57,242 --> 02:16:59,978
I read in acts eight that as Philip in the eunuch

3868
02:16:59,978 --> 02:17:03,114
went on their way, they came unto a certain water.

3869
02:17:03,114 --> 02:17:06,484
And the eunuch said, see, here is water,

3870
02:17:06,484 --> 02:17:08,753
what doth hinder me to be baptized?

3871
02:17:08,753 --> 02:17:09,854
And Philip said,

3872
02:17:09,854 --> 02:17:13,158
if thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest.

3873
02:17:13,158 --> 02:17:14,326
And he answered, and said,

3874
02:17:14,326 --> 02:17:17,195
I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.

3875
02:17:17,195 --> 02:17:19,931
And he commanded the chariot to stand still.

3876
02:17:19,931 --> 02:17:22,067
And they went down both into the water.

3877
02:17:22,067 --> 02:17:23,735
Both Philip and the eunuch.

3878
02:17:23,735 --> 02:17:25,437
And he baptized him.

3879
02:17:25,437 --> 02:17:27,472
And when they were come up out of the water,

3880
02:17:27,472 --> 02:17:28,540
the spirit of the Lord

3881
02:17:28,540 --> 02:17:31,743
caught away Philip, that the eunuch saw him no more.

3882
02:17:31,743 --> 02:17:33,778
And he went on his way, rejoicing.

3883
02:17:33,778 --> 02:17:37,282
Acts eight 3639 I read also that

3884
02:17:37,282 --> 02:17:37,882
when Jesus

3885
02:17:37,882 --> 02:17:39,384
commanded his disciples to go

3886
02:17:39,384 --> 02:17:41,853
and preach the gospel to every creature,

3887
02:17:41,853 --> 02:17:43,521
he added these words,

3888
02:17:43,521 --> 02:17:47,025
he that believeth and is baptized shall be saved.

3889
02:17:47,025 --> 02:17:49,894
Mark 1616 believing is here,

3890
02:17:49,894 --> 02:17:52,130
put before baptism, and without faith

3891
02:17:52,130 --> 02:17:54,566
it is impossible to please God.

3892
02:17:54,566 --> 02:17:57,769
Jesus himself was baptized in the river Jordan,

3893
02:17:57,769 --> 02:17:59,204
and all the apostles

3894
02:17:59,204 --> 02:18:02,073
and all the primitive Christians were baptized.

3895
02:18:02,073 --> 02:18:04,976
I was thus fully persuaded in my own mind

3896
02:18:04,976 --> 02:18:06,144
that adult baptism

3897
02:18:06,144 --> 02:18:08,213
was in accordance with the Word of God,

3898
02:18:08,213 --> 02:18:09,748
and that if I loved him,

3899
02:18:09,748 --> 02:18:12,817
I must obey his commands cheerfully and believing.

3900
02:18:12,817 --> 02:18:15,553
So I gave in my name to the church in the regiment,

3901
02:18:15,553 --> 02:18:18,223
and word was sent to the mission church in the city

3902
02:18:18,223 --> 02:18:20,492
that Robert Flockhart had become a true

3903
02:18:20,492 --> 02:18:23,094
penitent, had repented of his sins,

3904
02:18:23,094 --> 02:18:23,828
and through divine

3905
02:18:23,828 --> 02:18:26,631
grace had believed on the Lord Jesus Christ,

3906
02:18:26,631 --> 02:18:28,199
and was recommended to the church

3907
02:18:28,199 --> 02:18:31,603
in Calcutta for baptism and admission to membership,

3908
02:18:31,603 --> 02:18:32,504
a deep interest

3909
02:18:32,504 --> 02:18:34,406
being felt by the brethren in the regiment.

3910
02:18:34,406 --> 02:18:35,607
In my case,

3911
02:18:35,607 --> 02:18:37,309
application was made by them

3912
02:18:37,309 --> 02:18:39,744
individually to their respective officers

3913
02:18:39,744 --> 02:18:41,613
for leave to go to Calcutta,

3914
02:18:41,613 --> 02:18:42,547
distant from Fort

3915
02:18:42,547 --> 02:18:44,316
William, about three miles,

3916
02:18:44,316 --> 02:18:46,651
to be present at my baptism.

3917
02:18:46,651 --> 02:18:48,053
Leave was granted,

3918
02:18:48,053 --> 02:18:50,689
and I got up early the following Sabbath morning

3919
02:18:50,689 --> 02:18:52,857
and went to church. In the bazaar.

3920
02:18:52,857 --> 02:18:54,125
The service being ended.

3921
02:18:54,125 --> 02:18:55,593
The missionaries were kind enough

3922
02:18:55,593 --> 02:18:57,395
to invite us to their residence,

3923
02:18:57,395 --> 02:18:59,130
and we spent the rest of the morning

3924
02:18:59,130 --> 02:19:01,166
and devotional exercises.

3925
02:19:01,166 --> 02:19:02,701
After being thus occupied

3926
02:19:02,701 --> 02:19:04,703
for the greater portion of the morning,

3927
02:19:04,703 --> 02:19:06,738
breakfast was provided for all of us

3928
02:19:06,738 --> 02:19:08,506
by the missionaries wives.

3929
02:19:08,506 --> 02:19:10,241
It was truly a most delightful

3930
02:19:10,241 --> 02:19:13,678
and gratifying spectacle to see 30 converted soldiers

3931
02:19:13,678 --> 02:19:14,746
sitting down together

3932
02:19:14,746 --> 02:19:16,981
at the same table in love and unity,

3933
02:19:16,981 --> 02:19:18,950
and the missionaries wives serving us

3934
02:19:18,950 --> 02:19:20,752
all with warm affection.

3935
02:19:20,752 --> 02:19:22,921
It made me ashamed of myself.

3936
02:19:22,921 --> 02:19:24,823
My heart melted with tears of joy

3937
02:19:24,823 --> 02:19:26,391
when I thought what I once was,

3938
02:19:26,391 --> 02:19:28,493
in, what company I once kept,

3939
02:19:28,493 --> 02:19:30,929
and now what a change had taken place.

3940
02:19:30,929 --> 02:19:33,498
It was like a little heaven below.

3941
02:19:33,498 --> 02:19:34,332
After breakfast

3942
02:19:34,332 --> 02:19:37,469
we devoted time to prayer and singing praises to God,

3943
02:19:37,469 --> 02:19:38,036
which left

3944
02:19:38,036 --> 02:19:38,670
our spirits

3945
02:19:38,670 --> 02:19:39,838
uplifted and ready

3946
02:19:39,838 --> 02:19:42,006
to receive the message of the gospel.

3947
02:19:42,006 --> 02:19:42,440
Mr.

3948
02:19:42,440 --> 02:19:43,975
Ward delivered the sermon

3949
02:19:43,975 --> 02:19:46,911
drawing from First Timothy, chapter one, verse 11,

3950
02:19:46,911 --> 02:19:49,814
which speaks of the glorious gospel of the blessed God

3951
02:19:49,814 --> 02:19:51,116
entrusted to us.

3952
02:19:51,116 --> 02:19:53,485
His sermon was truly inspiring.

3953
02:19:53,485 --> 02:19:56,588
Following the sermon, four individuals were baptized

3954
02:19:56,588 --> 02:19:58,289
a civilian and his wife,

3955
02:19:58,289 --> 02:20:00,892
the husband being white and the wife of color,

3956
02:20:00,892 --> 02:20:03,928
a native woman and a soldier in uniform.

3957
02:20:03,928 --> 02:20:04,529
Each of them

3958
02:20:04,529 --> 02:20:08,099
sang two lines of a hymn as part of the ceremony.

3959
02:20:08,099 --> 02:20:10,468
I shall never forget my two lines.

3960
02:20:10,468 --> 02:20:12,937
He was immersed in Jordan's flood,

3961
02:20:12,937 --> 02:20:15,840
then immersed in sweat and blood.

3962
02:20:15,840 --> 02:20:17,175
I saw in my baptism

3963
02:20:17,175 --> 02:20:19,544
a lively representation of Christ's death,

3964
02:20:19,544 --> 02:20:21,279
burial, and resurrection.

3965
02:20:21,279 --> 02:20:22,480
After the baptisms,

3966
02:20:22,480 --> 02:20:23,081
the civilian

3967
02:20:23,081 --> 02:20:24,716
and I retreated to a private room

3968
02:20:24,716 --> 02:20:26,951
near the church to change our attire.

3969
02:20:26,951 --> 02:20:29,988
As we did, he shared with me how late he felt,

3970
02:20:29,988 --> 02:20:31,456
having fulfilled his duty

3971
02:20:31,456 --> 02:20:33,892
in a way that aligned with God's Word.

3972
02:20:33,892 --> 02:20:36,294
Once we were back in our usual clothes,

3973
02:20:36,294 --> 02:20:37,729
we joined our fellow believers

3974
02:20:37,729 --> 02:20:39,864
to remember the Lord's sacrifice.

3975
02:20:39,864 --> 02:20:42,567
Sitting at the Lord's table for the first time,

3976
02:20:42,567 --> 02:20:44,469
my faith allowed me to perceive

3977
02:20:44,469 --> 02:20:45,370
the significance

3978
02:20:45,370 --> 02:20:46,438
of the Lord's body

3979
02:20:46,438 --> 02:20:49,774
offered for me in his blood, shed for my sake.

3980
02:20:49,774 --> 02:20:52,710
Through faith I partook of his body and blood,

3981
02:20:52,710 --> 02:20:54,479
experiencing his presence

3982
02:20:54,479 --> 02:20:56,381
in the act of breaking bread,

3983
02:20:56,381 --> 02:21:00,718
as described in Luke 2435 with the ear of faith,

3984
02:21:00,718 --> 02:21:02,821
it was as though I could hear him

3985
02:21:02,821 --> 02:21:07,091
inviting, eat, O friends, drink abundantly, O beloved,

3986
02:21:07,091 --> 02:21:10,995
as stated in Song of Solomon 5 to 1 in my heart

3987
02:21:10,995 --> 02:21:11,896
I marveled,

3988
02:21:11,896 --> 02:21:15,033
oh, Lord God, this is unlike anything human.

3989
02:21:15,033 --> 02:21:17,001
The more I beheld his majesty,

3990
02:21:17,001 --> 02:21:20,338
the more humbled I became convinced that everything

3991
02:21:20,338 --> 02:21:21,906
I am, or hope to be,

3992
02:21:21,906 --> 02:21:25,143
is due to his sovereign grace and love.

3993
02:21:25,143 --> 02:21:27,679
Many have carnal views of the Lord's Supper.

3994
02:21:27,679 --> 02:21:30,215
They look no farther than the bread and wine.

3995
02:21:30,215 --> 02:21:33,418
Faith, however, looks at Christ and lives upon him.

3996
02:21:33,418 --> 02:21:35,787
If I had life before that life

3997
02:21:35,787 --> 02:21:37,355
required to be nourished,

3998
02:21:37,355 --> 02:21:39,858
so that I could not have fed on him

3999
02:21:39,858 --> 02:21:43,428
if I had not had life before coming to the ordinance,

4000
02:21:43,428 --> 02:21:45,697
I was surprised when I came to Edinburgh

4001
02:21:45,697 --> 02:21:46,931
and heard ministers

4002
02:21:46,931 --> 02:21:48,867
stating to crowded congregations

4003
02:21:48,867 --> 02:21:50,568
that the Lord could not die,

4004
02:21:50,568 --> 02:21:51,569
and mystifying

4005
02:21:51,569 --> 02:21:53,805
what is already a great mystery

4006
02:21:53,805 --> 02:21:56,074
that God was manifest in the flesh

4007
02:21:56,074 --> 02:21:58,409
as the sinner's representative to do,

4008
02:21:58,409 --> 02:22:00,245
and to suffer all that law

4009
02:22:00,245 --> 02:22:02,647
and truth and justice required.

4010
02:22:02,647 --> 02:22:05,283
No mere man or angel could do this,

4011
02:22:05,283 --> 02:22:09,153
and he must be the Son of God in our nature who could?

4012
02:22:09,153 --> 02:22:10,555
His actual obedience

4013
02:22:10,555 --> 02:22:12,790
was called the righteousness of God.

4014
02:22:12,790 --> 02:22:16,327
His passive obedience satisfied divine justice,

4015
02:22:16,327 --> 02:22:19,364
magnified the law, and made it honorable.

4016
02:22:19,364 --> 02:22:19,764
Christ

4017
02:22:19,764 --> 02:22:21,866
God as well as man in two distinct natures

4018
02:22:21,866 --> 02:22:23,701
in one person forever.

4019
02:22:23,701 --> 02:22:24,002
Hence

4020
02:22:24,002 --> 02:22:25,770
the apostle writing to the Corinthians

4021
02:22:25,770 --> 02:22:26,704
says in reference

4022
02:22:26,704 --> 02:22:28,172
to this wondrous fact

4023
02:22:28,172 --> 02:22:31,409
Howbeit we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery,

4024
02:22:31,409 --> 02:22:32,577
even the hidden wisdom

4025
02:22:32,577 --> 02:22:33,478
which God ordained

4026
02:22:33,478 --> 02:22:35,313
before the world into our glory,

4027
02:22:35,313 --> 02:22:37,982
which none of the princes of this world knew.

4028
02:22:37,982 --> 02:22:38,449
For had

4029
02:22:38,449 --> 02:22:39,150
they known it,

4030
02:22:39,150 --> 02:22:42,353
they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.

4031
02:22:42,353 --> 02:22:44,222
The Apostle declares again

4032
02:22:44,222 --> 02:22:46,824
that no man can say that Jesus is the Lord,

4033
02:22:46,824 --> 02:22:48,526
but by the Holy Ghost.

4034
02:22:48,526 --> 02:22:49,961
Elsewhere he says, the life

4035
02:22:49,961 --> 02:22:52,030
which I now live in the flesh

4036
02:22:52,030 --> 02:22:55,233
I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me

4037
02:22:55,233 --> 02:22:57,001
and gave himself for me.

4038
02:22:57,001 --> 02:22:57,602
In Matthew

4039
02:22:57,602 --> 02:22:59,370
we read that when Jesus asserted

4040
02:22:59,370 --> 02:23:00,939
that he was the Son of God,

4041
02:23:00,939 --> 02:23:01,639
the Jews said,

4042
02:23:01,639 --> 02:23:05,243
he blasphemed the incarnation of the Son of God

4043
02:23:05,243 --> 02:23:06,477
as a profound mystery,

4044
02:23:06,477 --> 02:23:09,280
that even angels long to understand

4045
02:23:09,280 --> 02:23:12,450
those redeemed by God and gathered around his throne

4046
02:23:12,450 --> 02:23:13,952
will spend eternity

4047
02:23:13,952 --> 02:23:15,620
exploring this mystery,

4048
02:23:15,620 --> 02:23:18,022
yet they will never fully comprehend it.

4049
02:23:18,022 --> 02:23:19,290
This endless pursuit

4050
02:23:19,290 --> 02:23:21,326
is because the finite minds of created

4051
02:23:21,326 --> 02:23:25,430
beings cannot fully grasp the infinite nature of God.

4052
02:23:25,430 --> 02:23:26,798
The redeemed will forever

4053
02:23:26,798 --> 02:23:28,700
praise the one who loved us

4054
02:23:28,700 --> 02:23:31,102
and cleansed us with his own blood.

4055
02:23:31,102 --> 02:23:32,770
Their knowledge and understanding

4056
02:23:32,770 --> 02:23:34,372
will continually grow.

4057
02:23:34,372 --> 02:23:35,607
Yet the hymn of gratitude

4058
02:23:35,607 --> 02:23:39,043
they sing will always feel new throughout eternity,

4059
02:23:39,043 --> 02:23:41,646
such as the depth of sins mark upon us

4060
02:23:41,646 --> 02:23:43,448
that only the divine sacrifice

4061
02:23:43,448 --> 02:23:48,119
could cleanse our souls, as highlighted in acts 2228.

4062
02:23:48,119 --> 02:23:50,822
For as much as you know that you were not redeemed

4063
02:23:50,822 --> 02:23:53,958
with corruptible things such as silver and gold,

4064
02:23:53,958 --> 02:23:55,960
but with the precious blood of Christ,

4065
02:23:55,960 --> 02:23:59,297
as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.

4066
02:23:59,297 --> 02:24:01,399
First Peter 118 and 19.

4067
02:24:01,399 --> 02:24:02,734
Whoever may read what I have

4068
02:24:02,734 --> 02:24:04,769
written may think me very strange,

4069
02:24:04,769 --> 02:24:06,104
but I cannot help it.

4070
02:24:06,104 --> 02:24:08,473
My guilty conscience was fully awakened,

4071
02:24:08,473 --> 02:24:10,041
and my spirit wounded.

4072
02:24:10,041 --> 02:24:11,376
The sword of God's law

4073
02:24:11,376 --> 02:24:12,510
was hanging over my head,

4074
02:24:12,510 --> 02:24:13,111
and my sins

4075
02:24:13,111 --> 02:24:14,779
set in order before me,

4076
02:24:14,779 --> 02:24:17,515
and the devil was tempting me to despair.

4077
02:24:17,515 --> 02:24:18,650
What gave me relief?

4078
02:24:18,650 --> 02:24:19,884
But faith in that blood

4079
02:24:19,884 --> 02:24:21,519
of which we have been speaking

4080
02:24:21,519 --> 02:24:23,855
when applied by the Spirit of God.

4081
02:24:23,855 --> 02:24:26,524
This pacified my guilty conscience,

4082
02:24:26,524 --> 02:24:28,526
removed the guilt from my heart,

4083
02:24:28,526 --> 02:24:31,963
healed my afflicted mind, and gave me peace.

4084
02:24:31,963 --> 02:24:32,864
Coming back to my

4085
02:24:32,864 --> 02:24:33,698
earlier point,

4086
02:24:33,698 --> 02:24:35,266
after the enriching experience

4087
02:24:35,266 --> 02:24:38,469
of fellowship in the morning, the inspiring sermon,

4088
02:24:38,469 --> 02:24:40,672
and the meaningful ceremonies of baptism

4089
02:24:40,672 --> 02:24:41,406
and the Lord's Supper

4090
02:24:41,406 --> 02:24:42,640
had concluded,

4091
02:24:42,640 --> 02:24:46,010
a kind church official extended an invitation to me

4092
02:24:46,010 --> 02:24:47,812
to accompany him in his chariot

4093
02:24:47,812 --> 02:24:49,681
to his residence for a meal.

4094
02:24:49,681 --> 02:24:52,283
His home was located roughly halfway between Fort

4095
02:24:52,283 --> 02:24:53,751
William and Calcutta,

4096
02:24:53,751 --> 02:24:55,987
where he served as the jail governor.

4097
02:24:55,987 --> 02:24:56,988
After some thought,

4098
02:24:56,988 --> 02:24:59,590
I chose to decline his kind invitation.

4099
02:24:59,590 --> 02:25:02,560
Being a new convert with a sensitive conscience,

4100
02:25:02,560 --> 02:25:04,028
I worried he might offer me

4101
02:25:04,028 --> 02:25:04,729
alcohol,

4102
02:25:04,729 --> 02:25:08,399
and I feared the possibility of succumbing to sin.

4103
02:25:08,399 --> 02:25:11,536
I saw myself as a brand plucked out of the fire,

4104
02:25:11,536 --> 02:25:14,939
easily ignited again due to my past vulnerabilities.

4105
02:25:14,939 --> 02:25:17,642
Unlike a green stick that resists burning.

4106
02:25:17,642 --> 02:25:20,611
Therefore, I resolved to politely refuse his offer

4107
02:25:20,611 --> 02:25:22,113
and return to my own home.

4108
02:25:22,113 --> 02:25:23,815
Filled with joy,

4109
02:25:23,815 --> 02:25:25,349
I was reminded that following

4110
02:25:25,349 --> 02:25:28,953
the path of duty is indeed the path of safety.

4111
02:25:28,953 --> 02:25:29,721
Reflecting on my

4112
02:25:29,721 --> 02:25:32,056
baptism and the events that accompanied it,

4113
02:25:32,056 --> 02:25:33,758
it's important to mention that Mr.

4114
02:25:33,758 --> 02:25:35,660
Ward, who conducted the baptism,

4115
02:25:35,660 --> 02:25:37,562
shared that he hadn't felt such joy

4116
02:25:37,562 --> 02:25:39,397
since his departure from England.

4117
02:25:39,397 --> 02:25:40,531
Regrettably, Mr.

4118
02:25:40,531 --> 02:25:42,433
Carey was unable to be present.

4119
02:25:42,433 --> 02:25:45,169
He was fully immersed in his significant work at Sarum

4120
02:25:45,169 --> 02:25:46,938
for dedicating himself

4121
02:25:46,938 --> 02:25:49,207
to translating and printing the scriptures

4122
02:25:49,207 --> 02:25:53,010
in the diverse languages of the Indian population.

4123
02:25:53,010 --> 02:25:56,681
My baptism took place on August 26th, 1810,

4124
02:25:56,681 --> 02:25:57,849
and it was documented

4125
02:25:57,849 --> 02:25:58,483
in the Baptist

4126
02:25:58,483 --> 02:26:00,284
periodical number 20,

4127
02:26:00,284 --> 02:26:02,520
where my name is listed, among others.

4128
02:26:02,520 --> 02:26:03,988
Encouraged by their success,

4129
02:26:03,988 --> 02:26:05,022
the missionaries began

4130
02:26:05,022 --> 02:26:06,924
visiting the barracks more frequently.

4131
02:26:06,924 --> 02:26:09,627
Despite being prohibited by the officers,

4132
02:26:09,627 --> 02:26:10,795
they would join the soldiers

4133
02:26:10,795 --> 02:26:11,496
for breakfast

4134
02:26:11,496 --> 02:26:14,065
and always sought to make use of the opportunity

4135
02:26:14,065 --> 02:26:15,566
to share their message,

4136
02:26:15,566 --> 02:26:17,869
much like our Lord did among the Pharisees,

4137
02:26:17,869 --> 02:26:19,871
publicans, and sinners.

4138
02:26:19,871 --> 02:26:23,074
Some criticized me for interacting with prostitutes

4139
02:26:23,074 --> 02:26:26,544
in the streets and visiting outcasts in the jail.

4140
02:26:26,544 --> 02:26:28,112
However, these were precisely

4141
02:26:28,112 --> 02:26:31,249
the types of people that our Lord himself engage with.

4142
02:26:31,249 --> 02:26:32,650
As it is said,

4143
02:26:32,650 --> 02:26:33,985
publicans and harlots

4144
02:26:33,985 --> 02:26:35,753
will enter into the kingdom of heaven

4145
02:26:35,753 --> 02:26:39,891
before the self-righteous.

4146
02:26:39,891 --> 02:26:41,692
Chapter seven.

4147
02:26:41,692 --> 02:26:46,230
After conversion trials and triumphs of faith.

4148
02:26:46,230 --> 02:26:48,166
After publicly declaring my faith,

4149
02:26:48,166 --> 02:26:50,001
I found deep joy and fellowship

4150
02:26:50,001 --> 02:26:52,069
with fellow believers in the regiment.

4151
02:26:52,069 --> 02:26:53,671
Our mutual affection mirrored

4152
02:26:53,671 --> 02:26:54,906
the early Christian churches

4153
02:26:54,906 --> 02:26:57,108
unity following Pentecost,

4154
02:26:57,108 --> 02:26:58,876
gathering with a few Christian friends

4155
02:26:58,876 --> 02:26:59,877
for prayer and praise.

4156
02:26:59,877 --> 02:27:02,313
Behind the battery was a highlight for me

4157
02:27:02,313 --> 02:27:03,981
when some soldiers who did not share

4158
02:27:03,981 --> 02:27:04,382
our faith

4159
02:27:04,382 --> 02:27:05,716
discovered our meeting place

4160
02:27:05,716 --> 02:27:09,387
and pelted us with stones, it didn't scare us away.

4161
02:27:09,387 --> 02:27:12,190
Instead, it deepened our resolve to meet again,

4162
02:27:12,190 --> 02:27:15,226
igniting our faith and love even more.

4163
02:27:15,226 --> 02:27:16,394
Around this time, Mr.

4164
02:27:16,394 --> 02:27:19,263
Chamberlain and his wife, whom I've mentioned before,

4165
02:27:19,263 --> 02:27:21,499
traveled up the river to share the gospel

4166
02:27:21,499 --> 02:27:23,367
at various mission stations

4167
02:27:23,367 --> 02:27:25,336
affiliated with the church.

4168
02:27:25,336 --> 02:27:27,872
They journeyed in a large boat known as a badger row,

4169
02:27:27,872 --> 02:27:29,607
propelled by local workers.

4170
02:27:29,607 --> 02:27:31,409
When they stopped at berm pour,

4171
02:27:31,409 --> 02:27:34,111
several of the converted soldiers who held Mr.

4172
02:27:34,111 --> 02:27:35,880
Chamberlain in high regard

4173
02:27:35,880 --> 02:27:36,981
went to greet him

4174
02:27:36,981 --> 02:27:38,516
as he sailed up the river,

4175
02:27:38,516 --> 02:27:40,952
filling his boat to capacity.

4176
02:27:40,952 --> 02:27:41,452
Mrs.

4177
02:27:41,452 --> 02:27:43,788
Chamberlain, addressing the brethren who couldn't

4178
02:27:43,788 --> 02:27:45,156
board the row, and stood

4179
02:27:45,156 --> 02:27:47,792
on the riverbank, warmly, proclaimed

4180
02:27:47,792 --> 02:27:49,260
the boat may be full,

4181
02:27:49,260 --> 02:27:53,998
but there's always room in my heart for all of you.

4182
02:27:53,998 --> 02:27:55,967
Our time at Fort William was short lived,

4183
02:27:55,967 --> 02:27:57,435
as we were soon commanded

4184
02:27:57,435 --> 02:27:59,737
to join other regiments on an expedition

4185
02:27:59,737 --> 02:28:01,672
to seize the Isle of France

4186
02:28:01,672 --> 02:28:03,574
for the journey to Diamond Harbor.

4187
02:28:03,574 --> 02:28:06,844
A fleet of leaders was arranged, filled with soldiers,

4188
02:28:06,844 --> 02:28:08,012
these boats made their way

4189
02:28:08,012 --> 02:28:09,647
to a deeper part of the river,

4190
02:28:09,647 --> 02:28:12,550
where larger ships awaited to carry us further.

4191
02:28:12,550 --> 02:28:15,286
Upon boarding one of the leaders, I noticed a familiar

4192
02:28:15,286 --> 02:28:16,888
face a corporal

4193
02:28:16,888 --> 02:28:18,923
I knew sitting at the front of the boat.

4194
02:28:18,923 --> 02:28:21,659
Suddenly, our vessel collided with a larger one,

4195
02:28:21,659 --> 02:28:24,562
causing him to tumble backward into the river.

4196
02:28:24,562 --> 02:28:27,031
He struggled against the strong current,

4197
02:28:27,031 --> 02:28:29,400
but it swiftly carried him away.

4198
02:28:29,400 --> 02:28:32,103
Despite the presence of many boats around us,

4199
02:28:32,103 --> 02:28:34,005
a rescue was unfeasible

4200
02:28:34,005 --> 02:28:35,973
and he vanished beneath the water's surface,

4201
02:28:35,973 --> 02:28:38,009
never to be seen again.

4202
02:28:38,009 --> 02:28:39,310
As a proficient swimmer,

4203
02:28:39,310 --> 02:28:40,745
I might have been able to save him

4204
02:28:40,745 --> 02:28:42,413
had I reacted instantly,

4205
02:28:42,413 --> 02:28:43,281
but the suddenness

4206
02:28:43,281 --> 02:28:44,916
and turmoil of the incident left me

4207
02:28:44,916 --> 02:28:48,953
shocked and immobilized, gripped by a profound dread.

4208
02:28:48,953 --> 02:28:51,789
This man had been one of my fiercest tormentors.

4209
02:28:51,789 --> 02:28:52,890
As soon as he perceived

4210
02:28:52,890 --> 02:28:53,557
the great change

4211
02:28:53,557 --> 02:28:54,992
that had been wrought upon me,

4212
02:28:54,992 --> 02:28:57,762
I suffered hot persecution from him.

4213
02:28:57,762 --> 02:28:59,230
I bought patiently,

4214
02:28:59,230 --> 02:29:02,166
although he had told me that he would do for me.

4215
02:29:02,166 --> 02:29:03,668
We had to sail a considerable

4216
02:29:03,668 --> 02:29:06,370
way down the river before we got to Diamond Harbor,

4217
02:29:06,370 --> 02:29:07,972
where the transports were lying

4218
02:29:07,972 --> 02:29:10,441
that were to carry us to the Isle of France.

4219
02:29:10,441 --> 02:29:13,544
These vessels were as large as 70 fours.

4220
02:29:13,544 --> 02:29:14,912
When we got on board,

4221
02:29:14,912 --> 02:29:18,316
each soldier got a hammock and blanket for himself.

4222
02:29:18,316 --> 02:29:20,818
I well remember the very agreeable sensation

4223
02:29:20,818 --> 02:29:21,519
I experienced

4224
02:29:21,519 --> 02:29:23,054
when swinging from side to side

4225
02:29:23,054 --> 02:29:25,589
with the motion of the ship in the morning.

4226
02:29:25,589 --> 02:29:27,692
The first one sounded his whistle

4227
02:29:27,692 --> 02:29:29,493
and gave the word all hands up.

4228
02:29:29,493 --> 02:29:30,561
Hammocks.

4229
02:29:30,561 --> 02:29:32,563
This was the signal for a general rising

4230
02:29:32,563 --> 02:29:33,831
throughout the ship.

4231
02:29:33,831 --> 02:29:35,466
As soon as we were all out of bed,

4232
02:29:35,466 --> 02:29:36,267
the boatswain

4233
02:29:36,267 --> 02:29:38,936
or his mate saw the hammocks stowed in the netting

4234
02:29:38,936 --> 02:29:40,538
round the sides of the ship,

4235
02:29:40,538 --> 02:29:42,807
so that we were all in readiness for the French

4236
02:29:42,807 --> 02:29:44,508
if they should come in the way

4237
02:29:44,508 --> 02:29:47,678
the ship's hammocks stacked 3 or 4 layers deep along

4238
02:29:47,678 --> 02:29:51,482
the sides, served as protection against enemy gunfire.

4239
02:29:51,482 --> 02:29:53,884
Whenever an unknown sail was spotted at night,

4240
02:29:53,884 --> 02:29:56,320
the boatswain would quickly signal down

4241
02:29:56,320 --> 02:29:58,322
chest and up hammocks.

4242
02:29:58,322 --> 02:29:59,023
Following this,

4243
02:29:59,023 --> 02:30:00,157
the commodore would direct

4244
02:30:00,157 --> 02:30:02,426
the accompanying frigates in our convoy

4245
02:30:02,426 --> 02:30:03,294
to investigate

4246
02:30:03,294 --> 02:30:06,664
whether the unidentified sail was friendly or hostile.

4247
02:30:06,664 --> 02:30:09,066
The frigates, upon receiving their orders,

4248
02:30:09,066 --> 02:30:11,302
would hoist their top gallant sails,

4249
02:30:11,302 --> 02:30:15,006
skyscrapers, moon rakers, and stunning sails,

4250
02:30:15,006 --> 02:30:17,475
darting off like birds taking flight

4251
02:30:17,475 --> 02:30:19,443
a magnificent sight.

4252
02:30:19,443 --> 02:30:20,344
Once close enough,

4253
02:30:20,344 --> 02:30:22,279
the captain would use his speaking trumpet

4254
02:30:22,279 --> 02:30:24,181
to challenge the approaching ship,

4255
02:30:24,181 --> 02:30:28,052
asking its name Destiny, mission and cargo.

4256
02:30:28,052 --> 02:30:29,353
The responses determined

4257
02:30:29,353 --> 02:30:31,822
if the ship was an ally or an enemy.

4258
02:30:31,822 --> 02:30:34,358
A friendly signal was raised for allies.

4259
02:30:34,358 --> 02:30:38,229
For foes, the command was prepare for action.

4260
02:30:38,229 --> 02:30:40,231
Fortunately, our journey from Diamond Harbor

4261
02:30:40,231 --> 02:30:43,467
to the Isle of France, lasting about six weeks after

4262
02:30:43,467 --> 02:30:46,871
departing Calcutta, encountered no hindrances.

4263
02:30:46,871 --> 02:30:48,372
It was a pleasant voyage during

4264
02:30:48,372 --> 02:30:50,608
which we gathered for worship on board,

4265
02:30:50,608 --> 02:30:53,544
praying fervently for the Lord's protection in battle

4266
02:30:53,544 --> 02:30:55,479
for victory with minimal loss of life

4267
02:30:55,479 --> 02:30:56,947
and for wisdom, strength

4268
02:30:56,947 --> 02:30:59,650
and courage for our leaders and ourselves.

4269
02:30:59,650 --> 02:31:02,853
These prayers were answered as will be revealed later

4270
02:31:02,853 --> 02:31:03,621
on our journey.

4271
02:31:03,621 --> 02:31:05,689
We found ourselves short on water

4272
02:31:05,689 --> 02:31:07,691
to shield ourselves from the intense sun.

4273
02:31:07,691 --> 02:31:10,661
We stretched a canvas overhead during rainfalls.

4274
02:31:10,661 --> 02:31:11,295
This canvas

4275
02:31:11,295 --> 02:31:12,096
collected water

4276
02:31:12,096 --> 02:31:15,366
which we eagerly used, grateful for any relief.

4277
02:31:15,366 --> 02:31:17,368
Despite my desperation

4278
02:31:17,368 --> 02:31:19,470
aggravated by a diet of salted food

4279
02:31:19,470 --> 02:31:21,405
causing severe thirst and leaving me

4280
02:31:21,405 --> 02:31:23,407
without even enough water to brew tea,

4281
02:31:23,407 --> 02:31:24,508
I faced criticism

4282
02:31:24,508 --> 02:31:25,576
from the sergeant major

4283
02:31:25,576 --> 02:31:27,812
for utilizing this makeshift source

4284
02:31:27,812 --> 02:31:29,080
in my parched state.

4285
02:31:29,080 --> 02:31:31,682
I couldn't help but respond with a hint of defiance.

4286
02:31:31,682 --> 02:31:35,419
While still following his commands, I questioned him,

4287
02:31:35,419 --> 02:31:36,353
Sergeant Major,

4288
02:31:36,353 --> 02:31:38,589
why criticize me for using the rain water?

4289
02:31:38,589 --> 02:31:40,024
A gift from heaven?

4290
02:31:40,024 --> 02:31:41,425
Haven't you sought my prayers

4291
02:31:41,425 --> 02:31:42,960
during your own times of need?

4292
02:31:42,960 --> 02:31:45,663
Like when you suffered from stomach cramps?

4293
02:31:45,663 --> 02:31:48,199
He remained silent in response.

4294
02:31:48,199 --> 02:31:49,600
This experience reminded me

4295
02:31:49,600 --> 02:31:51,001
of the words of the psalmist,

4296
02:31:51,001 --> 02:31:54,071
reflecting on those who venture to see and encounter

4297
02:31:54,071 --> 02:31:56,373
God's marvels in the vast waters.

4298
02:31:56,373 --> 02:31:58,809
I've witnessed extraordinary sights myself,

4299
02:31:58,809 --> 02:32:00,945
such as a cloud dispatched by the Lord

4300
02:32:00,945 --> 02:32:03,314
containing what appeared to be a dark pillar

4301
02:32:03,314 --> 02:32:04,949
known as a water spout.

4302
02:32:04,949 --> 02:32:08,552
Its emergence is often signaled by a small dark cloud,

4303
02:32:08,552 --> 02:32:11,755
reminiscent of the one seen by Elijah, servant.

4304
02:32:11,755 --> 02:32:15,426
These occurrences carry deeper spiritual meanings.

4305
02:32:15,426 --> 02:32:18,529
While I could offer my interpretations, I acknowledge

4306
02:32:18,529 --> 02:32:19,797
that others may bring greater

4307
02:32:19,797 --> 02:32:21,866
insight to these observations.

4308
02:32:21,866 --> 02:32:23,667
Therefore, I'll simply highlight

4309
02:32:23,667 --> 02:32:25,469
a couple of these instances,

4310
02:32:25,469 --> 02:32:27,571
inviting further reflection.

4311
02:32:27,571 --> 02:32:29,840
During my time at the Cape of Good Hope,

4312
02:32:29,840 --> 02:32:32,710
a dramatic waterspout struck Table Hill,

4313
02:32:32,710 --> 02:32:35,779
causing widespread flooding in much of Cape Town.

4314
02:32:35,779 --> 02:32:37,014
At Castle Advance,

4315
02:32:37,014 --> 02:32:38,682
the guards were forced to evacuate

4316
02:32:38,682 --> 02:32:40,651
the ground floor of their guardhouse

4317
02:32:40,651 --> 02:32:42,219
and seek refuge on the roof

4318
02:32:42,219 --> 02:32:45,122
to avoid being engulfed by the floodwaters.

4319
02:32:45,122 --> 02:32:46,056
The devastation

4320
02:32:46,056 --> 02:32:47,024
from the waterspout

4321
02:32:47,024 --> 02:32:50,027
led to numerous fatalities throughout the city.

4322
02:32:50,027 --> 02:32:52,897
This event reminded me of the biblical passage

4323
02:32:52,897 --> 02:32:55,833
deep calls to deepen the roar of your waterfalls,

4324
02:32:55,833 --> 02:32:59,003
all your waves and breakers have swept over me.

4325
02:32:59,003 --> 02:33:01,305
However, the waterspouts mentioned in the Psalms

4326
02:33:01,305 --> 02:33:02,940
differ from the one I witnessed,

4327
02:33:02,940 --> 02:33:05,409
symbolizing the profound depths of suffering

4328
02:33:05,409 --> 02:33:08,712
Jesus Christ endured, which demands a deep remorse

4329
02:33:08,712 --> 02:33:11,916
for our sins that contributed to his suffering.

4330
02:33:11,916 --> 02:33:14,552
It is a well acknowledged fact that all the water

4331
02:33:14,552 --> 02:33:17,821
in our rivers and lakes originates from the sea.

4332
02:33:17,821 --> 02:33:20,858
Solomon poignantly stated, all the rivers

4333
02:33:20,858 --> 02:33:24,328
flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full.

4334
02:33:24,328 --> 02:33:26,096
From the place where the rivers come,

4335
02:33:26,096 --> 02:33:27,731
they flow back again.

4336
02:33:27,731 --> 02:33:29,166
This observation reflects

4337
02:33:29,166 --> 02:33:30,901
the endless cycle of divine grace

4338
02:33:30,901 --> 02:33:32,336
that comes from God

4339
02:33:32,336 --> 02:33:35,406
and unfailing source of goodness and purity.

4340
02:33:35,406 --> 02:33:36,607
Despite humanity's

4341
02:33:36,607 --> 02:33:37,808
fall into sin, which

4342
02:33:37,808 --> 02:33:40,010
severed our direct access to heaven,

4343
02:33:40,010 --> 02:33:42,179
God's grace remains plentiful

4344
02:33:42,179 --> 02:33:44,381
through the devoted work of Jesus Christ.

4345
02:33:44,381 --> 02:33:48,219
His life, sufferings, especially those in Gethsemane

4346
02:33:48,219 --> 02:33:49,453
and on Calvary,

4347
02:33:49,453 --> 02:33:52,323
his death, resurrection, and ascension.

4348
02:33:52,323 --> 02:33:53,991
The gates of Heaven were reopened

4349
02:33:53,991 --> 02:33:56,460
to all who follow him in faith.

4350
02:33:56,460 --> 02:33:59,630
The Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity,

4351
02:33:59,630 --> 02:34:00,397
then imparts

4352
02:34:00,397 --> 02:34:03,000
the fruits of Christ's redemptive acts upon believers

4353
02:34:03,000 --> 02:34:06,904
hearts, ensuring that God's grace, perpetual nourishes

4354
02:34:06,904 --> 02:34:09,206
and transforms our lives.

4355
02:34:09,206 --> 02:34:12,576
In praising this divine flow of grace, we acknowledge

4356
02:34:12,576 --> 02:34:13,577
eternal spirit.

4357
02:34:13,577 --> 02:34:17,047
We confess and sing the wonders of thy grace.

4358
02:34:17,047 --> 02:34:20,117
Your power brings our blessings down from God

4359
02:34:20,117 --> 02:34:22,186
the Father and the son.

4360
02:34:22,186 --> 02:34:24,888
Reflecting on the concept of grace is a continual

4361
02:34:24,888 --> 02:34:28,292
flow of divine kindness and our responsibility.

4362
02:34:28,292 --> 02:34:31,829
We recognize that God's gifts are entrusted to us,

4363
02:34:31,829 --> 02:34:35,432
to be used with wisdom and to yield fruit.

4364
02:34:35,432 --> 02:34:38,602
Paul emphasizes the importance of this stewardship,

4365
02:34:38,602 --> 02:34:41,605
stating he did not take God's grace for granted.

4366
02:34:41,605 --> 02:34:43,173
Instead, he asserts,

4367
02:34:43,173 --> 02:34:44,108
I worked harder

4368
02:34:44,108 --> 02:34:48,045
than all the apostles, showcasing his dedication.

4369
02:34:48,045 --> 02:34:49,313
Reiterating this sentiment

4370
02:34:49,313 --> 02:34:50,114
in Corinthians,

4371
02:34:50,114 --> 02:34:51,849
he humbly credits his achievements

4372
02:34:51,849 --> 02:34:53,250
not to his own efforts,

4373
02:34:53,250 --> 02:34:54,451
but to the grace of God,

4374
02:34:54,451 --> 02:34:55,386
working through him

4375
02:34:55,386 --> 02:34:56,553
with the words,

4376
02:34:56,553 --> 02:35:00,324
yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.

4377
02:35:00,324 --> 02:35:01,025
This highlights

4378
02:35:01,025 --> 02:35:03,060
the idea that while we are called to act

4379
02:35:03,060 --> 02:35:04,628
and serve diligently,

4380
02:35:04,628 --> 02:35:06,597
it is ultimately through God's grace

4381
02:35:06,597 --> 02:35:11,702
that we can make a meaningful impact.

4382
02:35:11,702 --> 02:35:15,239
Chapter eight A soldier with Christ on His Side.

4383
02:35:15,239 --> 02:35:18,475
I return now to the expedition to the Isle of France.

4384
02:35:18,475 --> 02:35:20,010
We had two commanders

4385
02:35:20,010 --> 02:35:21,278
General Abercrombie

4386
02:35:21,278 --> 02:35:24,081
and another whose name escapes me presently.

4387
02:35:24,081 --> 02:35:26,617
Their objective was to capture the place with minimal

4388
02:35:26,617 --> 02:35:27,918
loss of life,

4389
02:35:27,918 --> 02:35:30,654
a goal they achieved through their strategic planning,

4390
02:35:30,654 --> 02:35:33,691
thus confirming the wisdom of the proverb.

4391
02:35:33,691 --> 02:35:36,293
Every purpose is established by counsel

4392
02:35:36,293 --> 02:35:40,331
and with good advice make war.

4393
02:35:40,331 --> 02:35:43,133
The harbor of Port Louis is hemmed in by mountains,

4394
02:35:43,133 --> 02:35:44,301
with a narrow entrance

4395
02:35:44,301 --> 02:35:46,870
guarded by an enemy boom or chain.

4396
02:35:46,870 --> 02:35:49,006
However, there existed a hidden passage

4397
02:35:49,006 --> 02:35:50,607
known only to the pilot,

4398
02:35:50,607 --> 02:35:53,410
who was bribed to guide our man of war through it.

4399
02:35:53,410 --> 02:35:54,745
Once inside, our ships

4400
02:35:54,745 --> 02:35:57,348
formed a line of battle in front of Port Louis,

4401
02:35:57,348 --> 02:35:58,682
opening fire with guns

4402
02:35:58,682 --> 02:36:01,118
and bombshells manned by the seamen.

4403
02:36:01,118 --> 02:36:02,653
While the attention of the enemy

4404
02:36:02,653 --> 02:36:04,955
was diverted by the naval assault.

4405
02:36:04,955 --> 02:36:06,223
Our troop transports

4406
02:36:06,223 --> 02:36:08,392
landed soldiers at the island's rear

4407
02:36:08,392 --> 02:36:10,761
unopposed and in broad daylight.

4408
02:36:10,761 --> 02:36:12,663
We then march towards the town,

4409
02:36:12,663 --> 02:36:14,998
halting only when darkness fell.

4410
02:36:14,998 --> 02:36:17,568
Most of us rested briefly on the ground,

4411
02:36:17,568 --> 02:36:20,237
keeping our loaded fire locks close.

4412
02:36:20,237 --> 02:36:23,474
A false alarm interrupted our sleep, but Lieutenant

4413
02:36:23,474 --> 02:36:26,710
Colonel Dalrymple, commanding the 22nd Regiment,

4414
02:36:26,710 --> 02:36:27,378
assured us

4415
02:36:27,378 --> 02:36:28,979
it was nothing to worry about

4416
02:36:28,979 --> 02:36:32,383
allowing us to return to sleep as soon as it was day.

4417
02:36:32,383 --> 02:36:33,851
We set out again on our march,

4418
02:36:33,851 --> 02:36:35,519
the sharpshooters in front,

4419
02:36:35,519 --> 02:36:36,920
and proceeded right onwards

4420
02:36:36,920 --> 02:36:38,822
till we came up to the French batteries,

4421
02:36:38,822 --> 02:36:40,491
which instantly opened on us

4422
02:36:40,491 --> 02:36:42,493
with grape and round shot.

4423
02:36:42,493 --> 02:36:44,828
We did not stop to pop pop at them,

4424
02:36:44,828 --> 02:36:47,498
but made a charge and drove them from their guns.

4425
02:36:47,498 --> 02:36:49,066
Down went the French colors.

4426
02:36:49,066 --> 02:36:51,535
Up went the British flag with a hussar.

4427
02:36:51,535 --> 02:36:52,836
We went after them.

4428
02:36:52,836 --> 02:36:54,338
At this period of the engagement,

4429
02:36:54,338 --> 02:36:55,939
I fell in with a tub of water

4430
02:36:55,939 --> 02:36:59,109
which had been left behind by some Madagascar slaves

4431
02:36:59,109 --> 02:37:02,146
who had been at work in the field very thirsty.

4432
02:37:02,146 --> 02:37:04,148
I knelt down to get a drink from it.

4433
02:37:04,148 --> 02:37:05,282
Scarcely had I,

4434
02:37:05,282 --> 02:37:08,485
with others, quench my thirst, and bathed my face.

4435
02:37:08,485 --> 02:37:12,089
When up came Colonel Dalrymple, and capsized the tub.

4436
02:37:12,089 --> 02:37:13,524
How do you know, said he,

4437
02:37:13,524 --> 02:37:16,293
but that the enemy may have poisoned the water?

4438
02:37:16,293 --> 02:37:18,495
That thought never struck me at the time.

4439
02:37:18,495 --> 02:37:19,897
I was so thirsty.

4440
02:37:19,897 --> 02:37:21,799
I may observe that it is even hotter

4441
02:37:21,799 --> 02:37:24,234
in the Isle of France than in Bengal,

4442
02:37:24,234 --> 02:37:26,437
so that one is more liable to be thirsty

4443
02:37:26,437 --> 02:37:30,107
if it were possible there than in India.

4444
02:37:30,107 --> 02:37:33,110
As night fell, the rain began to pour heavily.

4445
02:37:33,110 --> 02:37:36,213
Many of the men, exhausted from the day's exertions,

4446
02:37:36,213 --> 02:37:39,116
were given permission by the generals to rest.

4447
02:37:39,116 --> 02:37:41,251
Half of the army settled on the ground,

4448
02:37:41,251 --> 02:37:42,920
taking turns asleep.

4449
02:37:42,920 --> 02:37:45,389
I found myself lying in the open field,

4450
02:37:45,389 --> 02:37:48,258
despite having only the bare earth beneath me,

4451
02:37:48,258 --> 02:37:51,929
a stone as my pillow and the relentless rain.

4452
02:37:51,929 --> 02:37:53,430
I slept as peacefully

4453
02:37:53,430 --> 02:37:55,933
as if I were on a soft feather bed.

4454
02:37:55,933 --> 02:37:56,500
I recall

4455
02:37:56,500 --> 02:37:57,334
that heavy rain

4456
02:37:57,334 --> 02:37:58,836
also drenched our soldiers

4457
02:37:58,836 --> 02:38:01,038
on the eve of the Battle of Waterloo.

4458
02:38:01,038 --> 02:38:03,040
Although I wasn't present there.

4459
02:38:03,040 --> 02:38:06,109
Similarly, I've heard that our courageous soldiers

4460
02:38:06,109 --> 02:38:08,212
experienced a heavy downpour

4461
02:38:08,212 --> 02:38:10,581
on their first day in Crimea

4462
02:38:10,581 --> 02:38:12,416
following our earlier success

4463
02:38:12,416 --> 02:38:13,650
in capturing the batteries

4464
02:38:13,650 --> 02:38:15,786
and destroying a supply magazine,

4465
02:38:15,786 --> 02:38:18,789
we continued our march towards Port Louis.

4466
02:38:18,789 --> 02:38:20,123
Upon nearing the town,

4467
02:38:20,123 --> 02:38:21,124
the garrison launched

4468
02:38:21,124 --> 02:38:24,661
an intense bombardment of round shot, grapeshot

4469
02:38:24,661 --> 02:38:26,663
and bombshells at us.

4470
02:38:26,663 --> 02:38:29,633
Wounded soldiers were groaning all around.

4471
02:38:29,633 --> 02:38:32,002
I noticed a French soldier not far from me,

4472
02:38:32,002 --> 02:38:34,972
lying face down, his clothes, a flame

4473
02:38:34,972 --> 02:38:36,273
driven by compassion,

4474
02:38:36,273 --> 02:38:37,574
and I quickly stepped out of line

4475
02:38:37,574 --> 02:38:39,676
and approached him, thinking,

4476
02:38:39,676 --> 02:38:40,410
poor fellow,

4477
02:38:40,410 --> 02:38:42,980
I'll extinguish the flames and help him aside

4478
02:38:42,980 --> 02:38:44,648
if he's still alive.

4479
02:38:44,648 --> 02:38:47,084
When I turned him on to his back, it became clear

4480
02:38:47,084 --> 02:38:50,120
he had already passed away, leaving him be.

4481
02:38:50,120 --> 02:38:52,222
I rushed back to my position.

4482
02:38:52,222 --> 02:38:53,724
At that moment, bullets

4483
02:38:53,724 --> 02:38:55,692
were whizzing past and around me,

4484
02:38:55,692 --> 02:38:56,727
tearing through the ground

4485
02:38:56,727 --> 02:38:57,528
before me,

4486
02:38:57,528 --> 02:39:00,631
much like children playfully throwing balls.

4487
02:39:00,631 --> 02:39:02,766
Yet it felt as though a protective hand

4488
02:39:02,766 --> 02:39:04,868
was guiding them over my head.

4489
02:39:04,868 --> 02:39:07,204
The saying every bullet has its bullet rings

4490
02:39:07,204 --> 02:39:08,572
incredibly true,

4491
02:39:08,572 --> 02:39:11,408
and I stand as a living testament to that.

4492
02:39:11,408 --> 02:39:12,175
Ahab, though

4493
02:39:12,175 --> 02:39:14,645
he disguised himself at run with Gilliard,

4494
02:39:14,645 --> 02:39:17,147
was not spared by his disguise.

4495
02:39:17,147 --> 02:39:18,582
A randomly drawn bow

4496
02:39:18,582 --> 02:39:21,051
struck him between the joints of his armor,

4497
02:39:21,051 --> 02:39:24,321
and David, acknowledging divine protection, said,

4498
02:39:24,321 --> 02:39:27,457
thou hast covered my head in the day of battle.

4499
02:39:27,457 --> 02:39:30,661
During the whole time my mind was in a praying frame.

4500
02:39:30,661 --> 02:39:33,630
I expected every moment would be my last.

4501
02:39:33,630 --> 02:39:36,366
I never lived near the Lord than at that time,

4502
02:39:36,366 --> 02:39:39,336
lifting up my voice, I sang the following stanza.

4503
02:39:39,336 --> 02:39:40,837
Plagues and death around me.

4504
02:39:40,837 --> 02:39:44,308
Fly till he bid I cannot die.

4505
02:39:44,308 --> 02:39:46,043
Not a single shaft can hit.

4506
02:39:46,043 --> 02:39:48,579
Till the God of love sees fit.

4507
02:39:48,579 --> 02:39:50,280
This verse I also repeated.

4508
02:39:50,280 --> 02:39:52,416
When I tread the verge of Jordan.

4509
02:39:52,416 --> 02:39:55,252
Bid my anxious fears subside.

4510
02:39:55,252 --> 02:39:57,721
Death of death and hell's destruction

4511
02:39:57,721 --> 02:39:59,890
land me safe on Canaan side.

4512
02:39:59,890 --> 02:40:03,694
Songs of praises I will ever give to thee.

4513
02:40:03,694 --> 02:40:04,227
During this

4514
02:40:04,227 --> 02:40:05,462
period, General Sir

4515
02:40:05,462 --> 02:40:07,831
Ralph Abercrombie and another general,

4516
02:40:07,831 --> 02:40:09,766
keen on minimizing casualties

4517
02:40:09,766 --> 02:40:11,401
and protecting their troops,

4518
02:40:11,401 --> 02:40:14,104
ordered the bugler to signal a retreat.

4519
02:40:14,104 --> 02:40:15,806
Consequently, we pulled back

4520
02:40:15,806 --> 02:40:18,842
until we were nearly beyond the enemy's firing range.

4521
02:40:18,842 --> 02:40:20,277
The British commanders,

4522
02:40:20,277 --> 02:40:21,945
intent on compelling surrender

4523
02:40:21,945 --> 02:40:24,348
while sparing the town from destruction,

4524
02:40:24,348 --> 02:40:25,682
then dispatched a message

4525
02:40:25,682 --> 02:40:28,352
under a flag of truce to the French commander.

4526
02:40:28,352 --> 02:40:30,220
They threatened to burn the town to the ground

4527
02:40:30,220 --> 02:40:32,789
unless he surrendered, and laid down his arms,

4528
02:40:32,789 --> 02:40:33,256
a threat

4529
02:40:33,256 --> 02:40:35,292
made credible by the wooden construction

4530
02:40:35,292 --> 02:40:37,094
of the town's buildings.

4531
02:40:37,094 --> 02:40:38,428
At this critical juncture,

4532
02:40:38,428 --> 02:40:40,564
an unfortunate mistake occurred

4533
02:40:40,564 --> 02:40:41,698
a guard, mistaking

4534
02:40:41,698 --> 02:40:43,433
some of our own troops moving at night

4535
02:40:43,433 --> 02:40:47,404
for the enemy, opened fire, and they returned fire.

4536
02:40:47,404 --> 02:40:48,405
The guard's officer

4537
02:40:48,405 --> 02:40:50,807
had to urgently intervene, shouting

4538
02:40:50,807 --> 02:40:54,478
men stop your firing at our own

4539
02:40:54,478 --> 02:40:55,979
in the face of these demands.

4540
02:40:55,979 --> 02:40:57,781
In the ensuing confusion,

4541
02:40:57,781 --> 02:40:59,116
the French general agreed

4542
02:40:59,116 --> 02:41:00,150
to the proposed terms

4543
02:41:00,150 --> 02:41:01,118
and surrendered,

4544
02:41:01,118 --> 02:41:04,588
making himself and his troops prisoners of war.

4545
02:41:04,588 --> 02:41:05,889
The surrender of Port Louis,

4546
02:41:05,889 --> 02:41:07,591
as I've come to understand,

4547
02:41:07,591 --> 02:41:10,293
was influenced by its leading citizens.

4548
02:41:10,293 --> 02:41:11,228
Rumor has it

4549
02:41:11,228 --> 02:41:12,429
they persuaded their general

4550
02:41:12,429 --> 02:41:13,597
to give, in

4551
02:41:13,597 --> 02:41:17,034
a theory lent credibility by the subsequent discovery

4552
02:41:17,034 --> 02:41:18,235
of a significant amount of

4553
02:41:18,235 --> 02:41:18,769
gold aboard

4554
02:41:18,769 --> 02:41:22,172
the vessel meant to transport him to France.

4555
02:41:22,172 --> 02:41:23,774
This treasure was securely moved

4556
02:41:23,774 --> 02:41:25,909
to our store under armed guard.

4557
02:41:25,909 --> 02:41:27,177
Regardless of the motives,

4558
02:41:27,177 --> 02:41:29,713
the general and his forces were indeed captured

4559
02:41:29,713 --> 02:41:31,948
and sent to France's prisoners of war,

4560
02:41:31,948 --> 02:41:33,850
destined for an exchange.

4561
02:41:33,850 --> 02:41:36,219
This occurred in the year 1811.

4562
02:41:36,219 --> 02:41:39,656
During this time I, along with a few others,

4563
02:41:39,656 --> 02:41:42,125
stumbled upon some unattended vineyards.

4564
02:41:42,125 --> 02:41:44,961
We ventured in, helped ourselves to the fruit,

4565
02:41:44,961 --> 02:41:47,064
and found honey in a beehive.

4566
02:41:47,064 --> 02:41:48,298
This bounty reminded me

4567
02:41:48,298 --> 02:41:50,333
of the story of Samson's riddle.

4568
02:41:50,333 --> 02:41:53,570
How from the slain lion we too found honey.

4569
02:41:53,570 --> 02:41:55,539
Following the departure of the French

4570
02:41:55,539 --> 02:41:57,541
from the island, members of our group

4571
02:41:57,541 --> 02:41:58,742
from various regiments

4572
02:41:58,742 --> 02:42:00,210
decided to come together

4573
02:42:00,210 --> 02:42:03,213
to offer our gratitude to Almighty God.

4574
02:42:03,213 --> 02:42:05,348
We thanked him for his protection during battle

4575
02:42:05,348 --> 02:42:07,951
and for granting us victory.

4576
02:42:07,951 --> 02:42:09,853
At the end of our serene gathering,

4577
02:42:09,853 --> 02:42:11,621
we celebrated the Lord's Supper

4578
02:42:11,621 --> 02:42:13,290
in a picturesque field.

4579
02:42:13,290 --> 02:42:15,459
Seated on the lush grass,

4580
02:42:15,459 --> 02:42:18,395
a white cloth was laid out for the bread and wine,

4581
02:42:18,395 --> 02:42:20,864
and we arranged ourselves in a circle around it

4582
02:42:20,864 --> 02:42:23,934
with the pastor and leaders in the center,

4583
02:42:23,934 --> 02:42:25,769
our hearts filled with gratitude.

4584
02:42:25,769 --> 02:42:27,671
We sang praises to God.

4585
02:42:27,671 --> 02:42:28,271
The pastor

4586
02:42:28,271 --> 02:42:29,539
then shared a message

4587
02:42:29,539 --> 02:42:32,375
drawing spiritual lessons from the life of a soldier.

4588
02:42:32,375 --> 02:42:33,810
He reminded us

4589
02:42:33,810 --> 02:42:35,145
we face battles beyond

4590
02:42:35,145 --> 02:42:37,347
those fought for our king and country.

4591
02:42:37,347 --> 02:42:39,683
We must contend with sin, Satan,

4592
02:42:39,683 --> 02:42:41,118
and our own weaknesses.

4593
02:42:41,118 --> 02:42:44,488
And from these struggles, there is no reprieve.

4594
02:42:44,488 --> 02:42:46,823
Listening to the pastor, we were encouraged,

4595
02:42:46,823 --> 02:42:47,924
hoping the Holy Spirit

4596
02:42:47,924 --> 02:42:49,893
was guiding our thoughts towards a future

4597
02:42:49,893 --> 02:42:50,961
where the battling church

4598
02:42:50,961 --> 02:42:51,561
on earth

4599
02:42:51,561 --> 02:42:54,865
transforms into the victorious church in heaven.

4600
02:42:54,865 --> 02:42:56,500
There all who have cherished

4601
02:42:56,500 --> 02:42:56,867
the Lord

4602
02:42:56,867 --> 02:42:59,002
Jesus will witness His Majesty

4603
02:42:59,002 --> 02:43:01,338
joining together at an eternal feast.

4604
02:43:01,338 --> 02:43:03,607
The marriage Supper of the lamb.

4605
02:43:03,607 --> 02:43:04,674
In the warm climate

4606
02:43:04,674 --> 02:43:05,876
where we were stationed,

4607
02:43:05,876 --> 02:43:08,011
the knights often unveiled their beauty

4608
02:43:08,011 --> 02:43:09,513
in full splendor.

4609
02:43:09,513 --> 02:43:10,113
The evening

4610
02:43:10,113 --> 02:43:11,748
after we honored the death of our Lord

4611
02:43:11,748 --> 02:43:13,683
was particularly breathtaking.

4612
02:43:13,683 --> 02:43:16,353
It was then that the Lord Jesus made his presence felt

4613
02:43:16,353 --> 02:43:17,420
among us.

4614
02:43:17,420 --> 02:43:18,588
Personally,

4615
02:43:18,588 --> 02:43:21,558
I experienced the fulfillment of his promise

4616
02:43:21,558 --> 02:43:25,529
as he revealed himself to me in the breaking of bread.

4617
02:43:25,529 --> 02:43:27,964
It was as if he breathed upon me,

4618
02:43:27,964 --> 02:43:29,466
imparting the Holy Spirit,

4619
02:43:29,466 --> 02:43:30,300
and invited us

4620
02:43:30,300 --> 02:43:33,603
to feast spiritually on his body and blood, urging,

4621
02:43:33,603 --> 02:43:37,174
eat, O friends, drink abundantly, O beloved,

4622
02:43:37,174 --> 02:43:39,409
that night remains etched in my memory

4623
02:43:39,409 --> 02:43:41,545
as a moment of profound joy,

4624
02:43:41,545 --> 02:43:44,614
offering many of us a glimpse of heavenly bliss.

4625
02:43:44,614 --> 02:43:46,116
The peaceful atmosphere

4626
02:43:46,116 --> 02:43:48,518
combined with a sense of holy reverence,

4627
02:43:48,518 --> 02:43:49,753
deep humility,

4628
02:43:49,753 --> 02:43:50,687
and the comforting

4629
02:43:50,687 --> 02:43:53,456
assurance of his love are unforgettable.

4630
02:43:53,456 --> 02:43:54,691
These experiences followed

4631
02:43:54,691 --> 02:43:57,127
closely on the heels of our narrow escapes from death,

4632
02:43:57,127 --> 02:43:59,362
which claimed lives to our right and left,

4633
02:43:59,362 --> 02:44:01,064
making the contrast between earthly

4634
02:44:01,064 --> 02:44:02,732
battles and divine peace

4635
02:44:02,732 --> 02:44:05,001
all the more stark and meaningful.

4636
02:44:05,001 --> 02:44:08,405
Afterwards, the Lord once again saw fit to afflict me.

4637
02:44:08,405 --> 02:44:11,041
I developed severe stomach cramps and reported myself

4638
02:44:11,041 --> 02:44:12,275
sick to the doctor,

4639
02:44:12,275 --> 02:44:13,443
whom I had been under care

4640
02:44:13,443 --> 02:44:14,578
for two years at Burned Poor.

4641
02:44:14,578 --> 02:44:15,812
As I mentioned before,

4642
02:44:15,812 --> 02:44:18,215
the doctors response was disheartening.

4643
02:44:18,215 --> 02:44:21,051
Robert, I can do no more for you.

4644
02:44:21,051 --> 02:44:23,153
You are unfit for duty.

4645
02:44:23,153 --> 02:44:25,155
I will recommend you for invalidation

4646
02:44:25,155 --> 02:44:27,023
when the board convenes.

4647
02:44:27,023 --> 02:44:28,558
An officer from my company

4648
02:44:28,558 --> 02:44:29,860
whom I shaved every morning,

4649
02:44:29,860 --> 02:44:31,728
I learned of my conversation

4650
02:44:31,728 --> 02:44:33,997
with the doctor and asked me about it.

4651
02:44:33,997 --> 02:44:35,899
Upon hearing the doctor's verdict,

4652
02:44:35,899 --> 02:44:37,868
he offered me advice.

4653
02:44:37,868 --> 02:44:39,502
I'll tell you what to do.

4654
02:44:39,502 --> 02:44:41,938
Go and bathe in the sea every morning.

4655
02:44:41,938 --> 02:44:43,106
Following his advice,

4656
02:44:43,106 --> 02:44:44,808
I prayed to God for his blessing

4657
02:44:44,808 --> 02:44:46,443
on this course of action.

4658
02:44:46,443 --> 02:44:48,078
So I went down to the sea,

4659
02:44:48,078 --> 02:44:50,647
undressed, and plunged into the water.

4660
02:44:50,647 --> 02:44:53,783
To my relief, the sea bathing proved beneficial

4661
02:44:53,783 --> 02:44:56,853
and I experienced improvement each time.

4662
02:44:56,853 --> 02:44:59,155
As the effects of the bathing became evident,

4663
02:44:59,155 --> 02:45:01,758
my comrades noticed the positive change in my health

4664
02:45:01,758 --> 02:45:02,859
and remarked,

4665
02:45:02,859 --> 02:45:06,396
Robert is as fit and capable as any of us.

4666
02:45:06,396 --> 02:45:07,998
Encouraged by this improvement,

4667
02:45:07,998 --> 02:45:10,467
I requested to be reinstated on duty

4668
02:45:10,467 --> 02:45:12,636
and my request was granted.

4669
02:45:12,636 --> 02:45:14,504
Shortly after my health improved,

4670
02:45:14,504 --> 02:45:17,574
I received orders to stand guard on a high hill,

4671
02:45:17,574 --> 02:45:18,308
a location

4672
02:45:18,308 --> 02:45:20,343
previously fortified with large guns

4673
02:45:20,343 --> 02:45:22,245
that had been used against us.

4674
02:45:22,245 --> 02:45:24,915
I was positioned as a century set apart

4675
02:45:24,915 --> 02:45:28,184
from the guardhouse in a secluded area ideal

4676
02:45:28,184 --> 02:45:30,487
for meditation, prayer

4677
02:45:30,487 --> 02:45:32,856
and singing praises to the Lord.

4678
02:45:32,856 --> 02:45:36,092
As I paced back and forth at my post in the woods,

4679
02:45:36,092 --> 02:45:39,329
I began to worship God with a heartfelt song.

4680
02:45:39,329 --> 02:45:40,497
I am convinced that

4681
02:45:40,497 --> 02:45:41,765
if there ever was a time

4682
02:45:41,765 --> 02:45:45,669
I sang both with spirit and understanding, it was then

4683
02:45:45,669 --> 02:45:48,939
suddenly it seemed as though a multitude of angels

4684
02:45:48,939 --> 02:45:49,539
had joined

4685
02:45:49,539 --> 02:45:53,476
in harmonizing with my praise in a celestial chorus.

4686
02:45:53,476 --> 02:45:54,778
Such heavenly music

4687
02:45:54,778 --> 02:45:55,412
I never heard,

4688
02:45:55,412 --> 02:45:58,815
know, nor ever will till I arrive in heaven.

4689
02:45:58,815 --> 02:46:00,350
Just as I see singing.

4690
02:46:00,350 --> 02:46:01,484
A corporal in a century

4691
02:46:01,484 --> 02:46:03,253
came to relieve me at my post,

4692
02:46:03,253 --> 02:46:06,056
saying I must go before the board and be examined

4693
02:46:06,056 --> 02:46:06,723
accordingly.

4694
02:46:06,723 --> 02:46:08,825
I presented myself before the doctors

4695
02:46:08,825 --> 02:46:11,795
praying at the same time, like Nehemiah silently,

4696
02:46:11,795 --> 02:46:13,964
the head doctor made me uncover my breast.

4697
02:46:13,964 --> 02:46:15,465
It was a little swollen.

4698
02:46:15,465 --> 02:46:16,866
This proceeded from the medicine

4699
02:46:16,866 --> 02:46:19,536
I had used whilst in hospital at Burn Poor.

4700
02:46:19,536 --> 02:46:21,571
The head doctor said I was a young man

4701
02:46:21,571 --> 02:46:24,040
and well able to do my duty on this.

4702
02:46:24,040 --> 02:46:25,608
My own doctor in the regiment,

4703
02:46:25,608 --> 02:46:26,643
whose name was Doctor

4704
02:46:26,643 --> 02:46:29,946
Hickman, said I had been a long time under his care.

4705
02:46:29,946 --> 02:46:32,515
Immediately a rap came to the door of the boardroom.

4706
02:46:32,515 --> 02:46:33,750
It was opened.

4707
02:46:33,750 --> 02:46:36,219
Some great man wished to speak to the head doctor

4708
02:46:36,219 --> 02:46:37,988
who went out to him. Accordingly.

4709
02:46:37,988 --> 02:46:39,389
As soon as he was gone out,

4710
02:46:39,389 --> 02:46:40,290
Doctor Hickman,

4711
02:46:40,290 --> 02:46:42,559
the next in seniority after the head doctor

4712
02:46:42,559 --> 02:46:44,928
put me down as unfit for service.

4713
02:46:44,928 --> 02:46:47,197
That was an answer to my prayer.

4714
02:46:47,197 --> 02:46:49,032
That was what the singing was for.

4715
02:46:49,032 --> 02:46:50,367
The Lord had determined

4716
02:46:50,367 --> 02:46:52,402
to bring me away from that place,

4717
02:46:52,402 --> 02:46:54,938
as he had other work for me elsewhere.

4718
02:46:54,938 --> 02:46:57,774
Before departing from the Isle of France,

4719
02:46:57,774 --> 02:47:00,543
I feel compelled to share some observations

4720
02:47:00,543 --> 02:47:03,213
about the locale and its inhabitants.

4721
02:47:03,213 --> 02:47:05,181
Initially, its noteworthy

4722
02:47:05,181 --> 02:47:08,451
that 30 of our merchant vessels seized by the enemy

4723
02:47:08,451 --> 02:47:10,186
were docked in the harbor.

4724
02:47:10,186 --> 02:47:13,023
Additionally, within Port Louis, there were captives

4725
02:47:13,023 --> 02:47:14,858
from the 24th Regiment.

4726
02:47:14,858 --> 02:47:17,761
Regrettably, some of these prisoners had defected

4727
02:47:17,761 --> 02:47:20,964
to the French side, taking arms against us.

4728
02:47:20,964 --> 02:47:22,565
Following the island's capture,

4729
02:47:22,565 --> 02:47:25,835
these individuals were apprehended and face trial.

4730
02:47:25,835 --> 02:47:28,271
The verdict for their actions was severe.

4731
02:47:28,271 --> 02:47:29,939
They were sentenced to be executed

4732
02:47:29,939 --> 02:47:31,908
by hanging from a tree.

4733
02:47:31,908 --> 02:47:33,610
The moral landscape of the island,

4734
02:47:33,610 --> 02:47:35,111
for my observations,

4735
02:47:35,111 --> 02:47:38,114
seemed to lack a widespread reverence for God.

4736
02:47:38,114 --> 02:47:38,915
An assessment

4737
02:47:38,915 --> 02:47:39,516
that aligns

4738
02:47:39,516 --> 02:47:42,218
with the biblical principle of by their fruits

4739
02:47:42,218 --> 02:47:43,653
shall ye know them.

4740
02:47:43,653 --> 02:47:45,321
The French population employed

4741
02:47:45,321 --> 02:47:47,323
numerous slaves from Madagascar,

4742
02:47:47,323 --> 02:47:50,527
subjecting them to harsh and inhumane treatment.

4743
02:47:50,527 --> 02:47:52,195
These slaves were forced to toil

4744
02:47:52,195 --> 02:47:53,096
every day of the year,

4745
02:47:53,096 --> 02:47:55,565
with Christmas being their sole day of rest.

4746
02:47:55,565 --> 02:47:57,100
Punishments were severe,

4747
02:47:57,100 --> 02:47:59,035
including the use of iron collars

4748
02:47:59,035 --> 02:48:01,604
with spikes to prevent restful sleep.

4749
02:48:01,604 --> 02:48:03,440
Some were chained in pairs,

4750
02:48:03,440 --> 02:48:05,241
burdened with the task of pulling carts

4751
02:48:05,241 --> 02:48:06,843
like beasts of burden.

4752
02:48:06,843 --> 02:48:10,280
I witnessed slaves chained to anvils, vise boards,

4753
02:48:10,280 --> 02:48:12,782
or wall fixtures for laborious tasks

4754
02:48:12,782 --> 02:48:14,818
such as stoking fires.

4755
02:48:14,818 --> 02:48:17,053
After the British took control of the island,

4756
02:48:17,053 --> 02:48:18,455
the observance of the Sabbath

4757
02:48:18,455 --> 02:48:20,723
was marked by raising the royal flag,

4758
02:48:20,723 --> 02:48:23,860
signaling the commencement of divine services

4759
02:48:23,860 --> 02:48:25,095
conducted in accordance

4760
02:48:25,095 --> 02:48:27,163
with the Church of England's practices.

4761
02:48:27,163 --> 02:48:29,299
Each regiment was provided a chaplain

4762
02:48:29,299 --> 02:48:30,467
to lead prayers,

4763
02:48:30,467 --> 02:48:33,303
with soldiers participating in the responses.

4764
02:48:33,303 --> 02:48:34,104
This outward

4765
02:48:34,104 --> 02:48:35,371
display of faith began

4766
02:48:35,371 --> 02:48:37,540
to influence the island's populace,

4767
02:48:37,540 --> 02:48:38,942
prompting them to reflect

4768
02:48:38,942 --> 02:48:41,010
and seek deeper understanding.

4769
02:48:41,010 --> 02:48:42,479
Given my relatively brief

4770
02:48:42,479 --> 02:48:45,014
stay on the island nearly half a year,

4771
02:48:45,014 --> 02:48:47,984
I cannot offer an exhaustive description of it.

4772
02:48:47,984 --> 02:48:49,652
However, before I depart,

4773
02:48:49,652 --> 02:48:52,489
it's worth noting that I was faced with a choice

4774
02:48:52,489 --> 02:48:53,890
to proceed to the battlefield

4775
02:48:53,890 --> 02:48:56,059
or to serve on the sick ship.

4776
02:48:56,059 --> 02:48:58,528
Guided by the strength the Lord provided.

4777
02:48:58,528 --> 02:49:00,063
I chose the battlefield.

4778
02:49:00,063 --> 02:49:01,431
Driven by a desire

4779
02:49:01,431 --> 02:49:04,434
not to cast any shadow over my faith,

4780
02:49:04,434 --> 02:49:07,103
I feared that avoiding combat might lead others

4781
02:49:07,103 --> 02:49:07,704
to wrongly

4782
02:49:07,704 --> 02:49:11,207
accused my religious beliefs of fostering cowardice.

4783
02:49:11,207 --> 02:49:12,775
I preferred to face death

4784
02:49:12,775 --> 02:49:15,678
rather than allow any dishonor to fall upon Christ.

4785
02:49:15,678 --> 02:49:16,679
Cause

4786
02:49:16,679 --> 02:49:18,381
those who have come to know me

4787
02:49:18,381 --> 02:49:20,917
since then will attest to my conviction.

4788
02:49:20,917 --> 02:49:24,053
My oath of loyalty was to my king and country,

4789
02:49:24,053 --> 02:49:26,156
and I endeavored to fulfill my duties

4790
02:49:26,156 --> 02:49:27,891
as a faithful soldier.

4791
02:49:27,891 --> 02:49:29,659
As a testament to my service,

4792
02:49:29,659 --> 02:49:32,562
I was later awarded both a pension and prize money

4793
02:49:32,562 --> 02:49:34,364
within the veteran Battalion,

4794
02:49:34,364 --> 02:49:36,933
a story I intend to share in due time.

4795
02:49:36,933 --> 02:49:39,669
Reflecting on my departure from the regiment,

4796
02:49:39,669 --> 02:49:41,304
I see the guiding hand of God

4797
02:49:41,304 --> 02:49:43,173
in the timing of my transfer,

4798
02:49:43,173 --> 02:49:45,575
as my regiment was subsequently ordered

4799
02:49:45,575 --> 02:49:47,277
to the island of Bourbon,

4800
02:49:47,277 --> 02:49:50,813
located roughly 100 miles from the Isle of France.

4801
02:49:50,813 --> 02:49:51,447
I learned that

4802
02:49:51,447 --> 02:49:52,782
after my departure,

4803
02:49:52,782 --> 02:49:55,685
the regiment suffered significant disruptions

4804
02:49:55,685 --> 02:49:56,753
being dispersed

4805
02:49:56,753 --> 02:49:58,788
across various parts of the island

4806
02:49:58,788 --> 02:50:00,757
in separate companies.

4807
02:50:00,757 --> 02:50:03,593
This fragmentation led to considerable challenges

4808
02:50:03,593 --> 02:50:04,894
for the church there,

4809
02:50:04,894 --> 02:50:08,631
exposing its members to persecution and temptations,

4810
02:50:08,631 --> 02:50:10,400
and I received troubling reports

4811
02:50:10,400 --> 02:50:11,868
regarding the conduct of many

4812
02:50:11,868 --> 02:50:14,103
who had once professed their faith.

4813
02:50:14,103 --> 02:50:16,539
Before the situation deteriorated further,

4814
02:50:16,539 --> 02:50:18,841
the Lord orchestrated my departure,

4815
02:50:18,841 --> 02:50:20,743
pairing me with the hospital sergeant

4816
02:50:20,743 --> 02:50:22,579
for the journey back to England.

4817
02:50:22,579 --> 02:50:24,080
This experience underscored

4818
02:50:24,080 --> 02:50:27,917
the wisdom of the adage two are better than one.

4819
02:50:27,917 --> 02:50:29,252
The sergeant discharged

4820
02:50:29,252 --> 02:50:30,253
due to a leg injury

4821
02:50:30,253 --> 02:50:31,588
that limited his mobility

4822
02:50:31,588 --> 02:50:33,723
and ability to perform certain tasks,

4823
02:50:33,723 --> 02:50:35,425
found assistance in me.

4824
02:50:35,425 --> 02:50:38,328
I saw it as my responsibility to alleviate his burdens

4825
02:50:38,328 --> 02:50:39,729
wherever possible,

4826
02:50:39,729 --> 02:50:41,231
taking on tasks and labors

4827
02:50:41,231 --> 02:50:43,132
he couldn't manage on his own.

4828
02:50:43,132 --> 02:50:45,835
My actions were driven by a deep affection for him

4829
02:50:45,835 --> 02:50:47,003
and gratitude for his

4830
02:50:47,003 --> 02:50:49,706
welcoming me into his family worship.

4831
02:50:49,706 --> 02:50:52,208
Furthermore, it was in those initial interactions

4832
02:50:52,208 --> 02:50:55,445
with him that I discovered a sense of peace in Christ.

4833
02:50:55,445 --> 02:50:58,581
During our voyage, each soldier had the daily duty

4834
02:50:58,581 --> 02:51:00,316
of managing his hammock,

4835
02:51:00,316 --> 02:51:03,353
taking it down each morning, securing it

4836
02:51:03,353 --> 02:51:06,456
and carrying it on deck, then reversing the process.

4837
02:51:06,456 --> 02:51:09,826
At night, the swain or his mate would signal the start

4838
02:51:09,826 --> 02:51:13,196
of these activities with a call of up all hammocks,

4839
02:51:13,196 --> 02:51:14,430
followed by instructions

4840
02:51:14,430 --> 02:51:16,766
to secure them in the netting for the day.

4841
02:51:16,766 --> 02:51:17,333
At night

4842
02:51:17,333 --> 02:51:20,503
we'd retrieve them in a similar ceremonial manner.

4843
02:51:20,503 --> 02:51:22,372
In my commitment to helping the sergeant,

4844
02:51:22,372 --> 02:51:24,707
I managed both his hammock and mine,

4845
02:51:24,707 --> 02:51:26,075
ensuring his comfort

4846
02:51:26,075 --> 02:51:27,810
and demonstrating the camaraderie

4847
02:51:27,810 --> 02:51:30,380
that had formed between us in our group.

4848
02:51:30,380 --> 02:51:32,282
Six of us shared duties,

4849
02:51:32,282 --> 02:51:33,216
each taking a turn

4850
02:51:33,216 --> 02:51:34,550
at being the orderly

4851
02:51:34,550 --> 02:51:37,320
or the one responsible for our daily tasks.

4852
02:51:37,320 --> 02:51:39,922
I often volunteered to take on extra duties,

4853
02:51:39,922 --> 02:51:41,791
including managing our communal meals

4854
02:51:41,791 --> 02:51:43,893
and other routine responsibilities.

4855
02:51:43,893 --> 02:51:45,895
Every day we made time for worship

4856
02:51:45,895 --> 02:51:47,597
just among ourselves.

4857
02:51:47,597 --> 02:51:48,965
These moments of devotion

4858
02:51:48,965 --> 02:51:49,666
made our journey

4859
02:51:49,666 --> 02:51:50,767
more enjoyable,

4860
02:51:50,767 --> 02:51:51,968
nurturing our faith

4861
02:51:51,968 --> 02:51:52,802
and encouraging us

4862
02:51:52,802 --> 02:51:54,837
to deepen our connection with Christ,

4863
02:51:54,837 --> 02:51:57,874
from whom we had already received so much grace.

4864
02:51:57,874 --> 02:52:00,243
This practice reminds me of a meaningful verse

4865
02:52:00,243 --> 02:52:01,611
in Philippians 119

4866
02:52:01,611 --> 02:52:02,645
which says,

4867
02:52:02,645 --> 02:52:05,281
for I know that this shall turn to my salvation

4868
02:52:05,281 --> 02:52:06,416
through your prayer

4869
02:52:06,416 --> 02:52:09,319
in the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ.

4870
02:52:09,319 --> 02:52:12,789
Similarly, Romans 15 four tells us,

4871
02:52:12,789 --> 02:52:13,790
for whatsoever

4872
02:52:13,790 --> 02:52:14,957
things were written before

4873
02:52:14,957 --> 02:52:16,926
time were written for our learning,

4874
02:52:16,926 --> 02:52:18,061
that we, through patience

4875
02:52:18,061 --> 02:52:21,664
and comfort of the scriptures, might have hope.

4876
02:52:21,664 --> 02:52:23,132
Whenever I felt uneasy or

4877
02:52:23,132 --> 02:52:23,933
troubled,

4878
02:52:23,933 --> 02:52:27,203
I sought solitude for self-reflection and prayer.

4879
02:52:27,203 --> 02:52:30,173
Often I found peace at the front of the ship,

4880
02:52:30,173 --> 02:52:32,475
sitting in the cradle of the jib sail,

4881
02:52:32,475 --> 02:52:34,177
surrounded by the ocean,

4882
02:52:34,177 --> 02:52:37,447
with lightning illuminating the sky above me.

4883
02:52:37,447 --> 02:52:39,148
This time of quiet introspection

4884
02:52:39,148 --> 02:52:40,616
reminded me of my past

4885
02:52:40,616 --> 02:52:43,653
and encouraged me to align my actions with God's Word.

4886
02:52:43,653 --> 02:52:48,091
Just as David reflected on his life in Psalm 119,

4887
02:52:48,091 --> 02:52:49,292
I thought upon my ways

4888
02:52:49,292 --> 02:52:51,661
and turned my feet unto thy testimonies.

4889
02:52:51,661 --> 02:52:55,031
This exercise also had a tendency to keep me humble

4890
02:52:55,031 --> 02:52:57,934
and gave me matter for confession in earnest prayer,

4891
02:52:57,934 --> 02:52:59,202
and produced in my heart

4892
02:52:59,202 --> 02:53:01,037
more love to God for looking upon

4893
02:53:01,037 --> 02:53:03,306
such a vile sinner as I had been.

4894
02:53:03,306 --> 02:53:04,307
I knew and felt

4895
02:53:04,307 --> 02:53:05,608
that I deserved to be cast

4896
02:53:05,608 --> 02:53:07,944
into the ocean of God's wrath forever,

4897
02:53:07,944 --> 02:53:09,812
and to have the lightnings of his anger

4898
02:53:09,812 --> 02:53:13,049
beating on my naked soul throughout eternity.

4899
02:53:13,049 --> 02:53:16,085
I have no tongue to express my gratitude to him

4900
02:53:16,085 --> 02:53:16,953
for what he has done

4901
02:53:16,953 --> 02:53:17,920
and suffered

4902
02:53:17,920 --> 02:53:20,923
to save me from the lowest and hardest hell,

4903
02:53:20,923 --> 02:53:22,492
how can I show it?

4904
02:53:22,492 --> 02:53:25,962
What would I not do or suffer for him who has done

4905
02:53:25,962 --> 02:53:27,964
and suffered so much for me?

4906
02:53:27,964 --> 02:53:28,564
Alas,

4907
02:53:28,564 --> 02:53:33,035
after all I can do, I am but an unprofitable servant.

4908
02:53:33,035 --> 02:53:34,504
I can never forgive myself

4909
02:53:34,504 --> 02:53:36,072
for spending the prime of my life

4910
02:53:36,072 --> 02:53:37,807
in the service of the devil

4911
02:53:37,807 --> 02:53:40,410
till I was 29 years of age.

4912
02:53:40,410 --> 02:53:41,844
Since the Lord, however,

4913
02:53:41,844 --> 02:53:44,247
has been pleased to call me effectually,

4914
02:53:44,247 --> 02:53:44,981
I have endeavored

4915
02:53:44,981 --> 02:53:48,317
to serve him to the utmost of my feeble ability.

4916
02:53:48,317 --> 02:53:52,255
Still, I must admit that sin is mingled with all I do,

4917
02:53:52,255 --> 02:53:55,591
even with my best services to this very day.

4918
02:53:55,591 --> 02:53:57,026
The sins of my holy things

4919
02:53:57,026 --> 02:53:59,028
are none of the least of my sins.

4920
02:53:59,028 --> 02:54:00,062
Alas, alas,

4921
02:54:00,062 --> 02:54:02,932
how often have I sinned against the clearest light,

4922
02:54:02,932 --> 02:54:04,300
the tenderest love,

4923
02:54:04,300 --> 02:54:07,703
and the most amazing, longsuffering and mercy?

4924
02:54:07,703 --> 02:54:09,739
But to return to my voyage?

4925
02:54:09,739 --> 02:54:13,075
Finally, we glimpse Saint Helena, a massive rock

4926
02:54:13,075 --> 02:54:15,144
emerging from the ocean's depths,

4927
02:54:15,144 --> 02:54:17,213
isolated from any land,

4928
02:54:17,213 --> 02:54:20,616
its sheer cliffs accessible from only one side

4929
02:54:20,616 --> 02:54:21,717
and towering height,

4930
02:54:21,717 --> 02:54:24,420
made it visible from 60 miles away.

4931
02:54:24,420 --> 02:54:26,989
Upon arrival, we joined roughly 30 other ships,

4932
02:54:26,989 --> 02:54:29,392
both transport and merchant vessels

4933
02:54:29,392 --> 02:54:30,960
anchored in its waters.

4934
02:54:30,960 --> 02:54:33,763
The ongoing war necessitated that each ship was armed

4935
02:54:33,763 --> 02:54:34,697
with cannons,

4936
02:54:34,697 --> 02:54:36,499
stocked with a powder magazine

4937
02:54:36,499 --> 02:54:39,035
and ready with ample ammunition.

4938
02:54:39,035 --> 02:54:39,969
During our stay,

4939
02:54:39,969 --> 02:54:42,705
we celebrated the King's birthday on June 4th

4940
02:54:42,705 --> 02:54:44,674
at either noon or shortly after.

4941
02:54:44,674 --> 02:54:45,374
Every ship

4942
02:54:45,374 --> 02:54:48,711
honored the occasion with a royal salute of 21 guns.

4943
02:54:48,711 --> 02:54:52,548
The collective roar of 30 ships firing simultaneously

4944
02:54:52,548 --> 02:54:56,419
was an awe inspiring, indescribable thunder

4945
02:54:56,419 --> 02:54:58,321
positioned in the heart of the fleet.

4946
02:54:58,321 --> 02:55:01,691
The overwhelming sound left me temporarily deaf.

4947
02:55:01,691 --> 02:55:03,993
After the ships concluded their salute,

4948
02:55:03,993 --> 02:55:07,330
the islands batteries began their own commemoration,

4949
02:55:07,330 --> 02:55:10,800
observing the gun salute was a stunning spectacle.

4950
02:55:10,800 --> 02:55:12,602
The cannons, positioned just a short

4951
02:55:12,602 --> 02:55:14,737
distance away, were stacked in rows,

4952
02:55:14,737 --> 02:55:16,873
ascending tier by tier above us

4953
02:55:16,873 --> 02:55:18,541
while stationed at Saint Helena,

4954
02:55:18,541 --> 02:55:20,042
I was granted the opportunity

4955
02:55:20,042 --> 02:55:21,878
to visit the shore twice.

4956
02:55:21,878 --> 02:55:23,012
Having subsisted on

4957
02:55:23,012 --> 02:55:25,081
salted provisions during the voyage,

4958
02:55:25,081 --> 02:55:26,782
I eagerly sought the comfort

4959
02:55:26,782 --> 02:55:28,651
of a wholesome meal on land

4960
02:55:28,651 --> 02:55:30,453
reminiscent of the refreshment

4961
02:55:30,453 --> 02:55:33,789
one finds in savory dishes at a local in a pond.

4962
02:55:33,789 --> 02:55:36,025
Satisfying my culinary craving,

4963
02:55:36,025 --> 02:55:37,727
I took a moment to honor a tradition

4964
02:55:37,727 --> 02:55:39,262
inspired by Abraham,

4965
02:55:39,262 --> 02:55:41,964
who built altars to God wherever he journeyed.

4966
02:55:41,964 --> 02:55:42,331
I gave

4967
02:55:42,331 --> 02:55:44,700
thanks for the nourishment provided for my body,

4968
02:55:44,700 --> 02:55:46,402
and praised God for the sustenance

4969
02:55:46,402 --> 02:55:49,805
he has given my soul the invaluable bread of life,

4970
02:55:49,805 --> 02:55:52,842
a divine sustenance that comes down from heaven.

4971
02:55:52,842 --> 02:55:54,210
This act of gratitude

4972
02:55:54,210 --> 02:55:55,211
not only acknowledged

4973
02:55:55,211 --> 02:55:56,879
the physical meal before me,

4974
02:55:56,879 --> 02:55:59,482
but also celebrated the spiritual nourishment.

4975
02:55:59,482 --> 02:56:00,783
I've received

4976
02:56:00,783 --> 02:56:04,220
a testament to the enduring faith that sustains us.

4977
02:56:04,220 --> 02:56:04,921
At the time,

4978
02:56:04,921 --> 02:56:05,888
I had no inkling that

4979
02:56:05,888 --> 02:56:07,290
Saint Helena would become

4980
02:56:07,290 --> 02:56:10,660
the final prison for Napoleon Bonaparte, a place where

4981
02:56:10,660 --> 02:56:12,361
he would eventually find his rest

4982
02:56:12,361 --> 02:56:14,030
from worldly troubles.

4983
02:56:14,030 --> 02:56:17,733
It's remarkable how God's providence unfolds, often

4984
02:56:17,733 --> 02:56:19,835
ensnaring the proud in their own schemes

4985
02:56:19,835 --> 02:56:21,637
to showcase his glory.

4986
02:56:21,637 --> 02:56:24,974
During our anchor near Saint Helena's imposing rock,

4987
02:56:24,974 --> 02:56:26,909
I was struck by the abundance of fish

4988
02:56:26,909 --> 02:56:28,377
in the surrounding waters,

4989
02:56:28,377 --> 02:56:31,747
the surface teamed with innumerable small fish.

4990
02:56:31,747 --> 02:56:35,251
And as you look deeper, the size of the fish increased

4991
02:56:35,251 --> 02:56:38,354
with a small boat and fishing gear ready by our ship,

4992
02:56:38,354 --> 02:56:41,023
I seized the opportunity to fish.

4993
02:56:41,023 --> 02:56:42,725
Dropping my line into the sea.

4994
02:56:42,725 --> 02:56:44,060
I caught many

4995
02:56:44,060 --> 02:56:47,430
finding joy in the abundance and ease of the catch.

4996
02:56:47,430 --> 02:56:49,899
This experience brought to mind how, like fishing

4997
02:56:49,899 --> 02:56:51,300
in plentiful waters,

4998
02:56:51,300 --> 02:56:53,102
ministers feel a profound joy

4999
02:56:53,102 --> 02:56:55,271
when facing a large congregation.

5000
02:56:55,271 --> 02:56:57,073
It offers them hope that their efforts

5001
02:56:57,073 --> 02:56:58,874
will lead souls to Christ.

5002
02:56:58,874 --> 02:57:02,011
I pray that God guides his ministers, showing them

5003
02:57:02,011 --> 02:57:03,980
where to cast their nets, ensuring

5004
02:57:03,980 --> 02:57:05,581
their endeavors are fruitful

5005
02:57:05,581 --> 02:57:08,384
without his direction, one might labor fruitlessly

5006
02:57:08,384 --> 02:57:09,318
through life,

5007
02:57:09,318 --> 02:57:10,953
akin to fishing through the night

5008
02:57:10,953 --> 02:57:13,055
without a single catch.

5009
02:57:13,055 --> 02:57:14,790
Our return voyage to England

5010
02:57:14,790 --> 02:57:16,993
was both smooth and enjoyable.

5011
02:57:16,993 --> 02:57:18,694
Setting foot in Chelsea,

5012
02:57:18,694 --> 02:57:21,297
I was overwhelmed with relief and joy.

5013
02:57:21,297 --> 02:57:23,899
Grateful to be back on familiar ground.

5014
02:57:23,899 --> 02:57:25,334
The next step was to report

5015
02:57:25,334 --> 02:57:26,068
for inspection

5016
02:57:26,068 --> 02:57:27,203
with Sergeant MacFarland

5017
02:57:27,203 --> 02:57:30,806
before the board due to his ongoing leg injury.

5018
02:57:30,806 --> 02:57:33,342
Sergeant McFarlane was honorably discharged

5019
02:57:33,342 --> 02:57:35,511
with a daily pension of one shilling.

5020
02:57:35,511 --> 02:57:37,680
Meanwhile, I was assigned to the 12th Veteran

5021
02:57:37,680 --> 02:57:39,548
Battalion in Eagle, Ireland.

5022
02:57:39,548 --> 02:57:40,950
I couldn't help but question

5023
02:57:40,950 --> 02:57:44,520
their decision, reminding them I am Scottish.

5024
02:57:44,520 --> 02:57:46,322
Why send me to Ireland?

5025
02:57:46,322 --> 02:57:49,392
Their reply was unwavering, though they did offer

5026
02:57:49,392 --> 02:57:51,360
a compromise by promising a letter

5027
02:57:51,360 --> 02:57:53,295
to the Colonel of the 12th veterans,

5028
02:57:53,295 --> 02:57:55,931
who would appeal on my behalf to the Duke of York

5029
02:57:55,931 --> 02:57:57,466
for a transfer to the ninth

5030
02:57:57,466 --> 02:57:59,869
Veterans in Edinburgh Castle.

5031
02:57:59,869 --> 02:58:02,304
During my six week stay in Chelsea,

5032
02:58:02,304 --> 02:58:04,373
I found a respectable place to live

5033
02:58:04,373 --> 02:58:06,742
and sought the company of fellow believers

5034
02:58:06,742 --> 02:58:09,979
attending religious gatherings to feed my faith.

5035
02:58:09,979 --> 02:58:12,782
It was during a contempt of walk in one of London's

5036
02:58:12,782 --> 02:58:13,916
vast parks

5037
02:58:13,916 --> 02:58:15,484
that I felt an extraordinary sense

5038
02:58:15,484 --> 02:58:17,353
of spiritual renewal,

5039
02:58:17,353 --> 02:58:19,889
a breeze seemingly more than just air

5040
02:58:19,889 --> 02:58:22,058
touched and revitalized my spirit,

5041
02:58:22,058 --> 02:58:24,326
filling me with joy in the Lord.

5042
02:58:24,326 --> 02:58:25,661
This profound experience

5043
02:58:25,661 --> 02:58:28,197
fortified my spiritual resilience,

5044
02:58:28,197 --> 02:58:30,866
invigorating me with renewed vigor.

5045
02:58:30,866 --> 02:58:33,402
It reminded me of the words of Psalm 103,

5046
02:58:33,402 --> 02:58:34,704
where the psalmist exalts

5047
02:58:34,704 --> 02:58:35,805
the Lord with his entire

5048
02:58:35,805 --> 02:58:38,708
being grateful for God's forgiveness,

5049
02:58:38,708 --> 02:58:42,244
healing, protection, and infinite mercy.

5050
02:58:42,244 --> 02:58:44,046
The imagery of Song of Solomon

5051
02:58:44,046 --> 02:58:46,315
for 16 also came to mind.

5052
02:58:46,315 --> 02:58:47,950
Where the north and south winds

5053
02:58:47,950 --> 02:58:49,919
are invited to refresh the garden,

5054
02:58:49,919 --> 02:58:52,188
allowing its fragrances to spread

5055
02:58:52,188 --> 02:58:53,422
and inviting the beloved

5056
02:58:53,422 --> 02:58:55,591
to enjoy its delightful fruits.

5057
02:58:55,591 --> 02:58:57,393
This passage symbolized for me

5058
02:58:57,393 --> 02:58:59,128
a divine invitation for renewal

5059
02:58:59,128 --> 02:59:01,363
and joy in the presence of God.

5060
02:59:01,363 --> 02:59:04,233
This was not a fancy, but it was a reality.

5061
02:59:04,233 --> 02:59:06,902
I say it to God's honor and glory.

5062
02:59:06,902 --> 02:59:08,404
After what I have written in my book

5063
02:59:08,404 --> 02:59:10,172
already about my bad life,

5064
02:59:10,172 --> 02:59:12,007
it would be a sin where I now to hide

5065
02:59:12,007 --> 02:59:13,776
God's kindness and goodness

5066
02:59:13,776 --> 02:59:14,844
for what he has done for

5067
02:59:14,844 --> 02:59:16,378
my soul is all free,

5068
02:59:16,378 --> 02:59:19,982
sovereign, unmerited favor from God in Christ to me,

5069
02:59:19,982 --> 02:59:21,650
the chief of sinners, to me

5070
02:59:21,650 --> 02:59:23,552
who deserved the lowest hell.

5071
02:59:23,552 --> 02:59:26,989
And I ascribe all the glory to A31 God.

5072
02:59:26,989 --> 02:59:28,057
I connected myself

5073
02:59:28,057 --> 02:59:29,458
with a Baptist church at the time

5074
02:59:29,458 --> 02:59:30,526
I was there,

5075
02:59:30,526 --> 02:59:33,562
and having informed them that I was going to Ireland,

5076
02:59:33,562 --> 02:59:34,530
some of the brethren

5077
02:59:34,530 --> 02:59:36,098
got a bundle of religious tracts

5078
02:59:36,098 --> 02:59:38,534
for me to circulate among the Irish.

5079
02:59:38,534 --> 02:59:41,003
They could not have given me a better present.

5080
02:59:41,003 --> 02:59:44,273
It was a delightful employment to be engaged in

5081
02:59:44,273 --> 02:59:46,142
a group of us were assigned to march

5082
02:59:46,142 --> 02:59:47,109
to the Isle of Wight.

5083
02:59:47,109 --> 02:59:49,745
We traveled a considerable distance from London

5084
02:59:49,745 --> 02:59:50,946
until we reached a point

5085
02:59:50,946 --> 02:59:53,182
where we needed to cross an arm of the sea

5086
02:59:53,182 --> 02:59:54,917
to reach our destination.

5087
02:59:54,917 --> 02:59:56,218
Along the way we halted

5088
02:59:56,218 --> 02:59:57,887
for the night and the men were dispersed

5089
02:59:57,887 --> 02:59:59,455
to various lodgings.

5090
02:59:59,455 --> 03:00:00,956
To my surprise,

5091
03:00:00,956 --> 03:00:02,691
I was assigned to stay in a rather

5092
03:00:02,691 --> 03:00:04,827
disreputable establishment.

5093
03:00:04,827 --> 03:00:05,895
Upon entering,

5094
03:00:05,895 --> 03:00:08,931
I noticed the curious gazes of the women present.

5095
03:00:08,931 --> 03:00:09,665
Without delay,

5096
03:00:09,665 --> 03:00:11,433
I removed my knapsack and haversack

5097
03:00:11,433 --> 03:00:13,135
containing some provisions,

5098
03:00:13,135 --> 03:00:14,670
and the landlord provided a table

5099
03:00:14,670 --> 03:00:16,405
for me to lay them out.

5100
03:00:16,405 --> 03:00:18,874
Feeling famished after a long day's march,

5101
03:00:18,874 --> 03:00:20,976
I followed my customary practice

5102
03:00:20,976 --> 03:00:23,279
and said a blessing before eating.

5103
03:00:23,279 --> 03:00:26,248
However, I also felt compelled to offer a prayer

5104
03:00:26,248 --> 03:00:28,150
for the well-being of the household

5105
03:00:28,150 --> 03:00:29,151
and to dissuade

5106
03:00:29,151 --> 03:00:31,053
any inappropriate behavior from the women.

5107
03:00:31,053 --> 03:00:32,555
During our meal.

5108
03:00:32,555 --> 03:00:35,958
Recalling the teachings about the consequences of sin,

5109
03:00:35,958 --> 03:00:39,295
I earnestly warned them about the perils of damnation,

5110
03:00:39,295 --> 03:00:40,896
hoping to impress upon them

5111
03:00:40,896 --> 03:00:42,798
the gravity of their actions.

5112
03:00:42,798 --> 03:00:45,501
As Solomon aptly noted in Proverbs,

5113
03:00:45,501 --> 03:00:47,203
her house is the way to hell,

5114
03:00:47,203 --> 03:00:49,805
going down to the chambers of death.

5115
03:00:49,805 --> 03:00:52,508
It was a somber reminder that their current lifestyle

5116
03:00:52,508 --> 03:00:54,343
was leading them astray.

5117
03:00:54,343 --> 03:00:57,680
My words seemed to have a profound effect on them.

5118
03:00:57,680 --> 03:01:00,983
They appeared almost immobilized as I spoke.

5119
03:01:00,983 --> 03:01:02,551
I allowed them time to ponder

5120
03:01:02,551 --> 03:01:04,787
before offering any comfort,

5121
03:01:04,787 --> 03:01:06,989
deciding to weave the thread of the gospel

5122
03:01:06,989 --> 03:01:09,291
after the stern reminder of the law.

5123
03:01:09,291 --> 03:01:10,693
Once I finish my meal,

5124
03:01:10,693 --> 03:01:12,361
I express my gratitude,

5125
03:01:12,361 --> 03:01:15,231
though the exact words escaped me now, however,

5126
03:01:15,231 --> 03:01:16,198
I made every effort

5127
03:01:16,198 --> 03:01:18,968
to present them with the possibility of redemption,

5128
03:01:18,968 --> 03:01:20,135
drawing parallels

5129
03:01:20,135 --> 03:01:22,671
between their situation and individuals

5130
03:01:22,671 --> 03:01:25,608
like Rahab the harlot in Mary Magdalene,

5131
03:01:25,608 --> 03:01:27,476
whom Jesus himself acknowledged

5132
03:01:27,476 --> 03:01:29,311
as finding favor in the eyes of God

5133
03:01:29,311 --> 03:01:31,447
despite their past sins.

5134
03:01:31,447 --> 03:01:33,182
Leaving these thoughts with them,

5135
03:01:33,182 --> 03:01:35,351
I sensed it was time to depart.

5136
03:01:35,351 --> 03:01:36,819
Escape for thy life

5137
03:01:36,819 --> 03:01:37,920
echoed in my mind

5138
03:01:37,920 --> 03:01:40,289
as I left to reunite with my comrades.

5139
03:01:40,289 --> 03:01:42,391
Determined to seek out a more suitable

5140
03:01:42,391 --> 03:01:44,193
lodging arrangement,

5141
03:01:44,193 --> 03:01:46,996
I asked a fellow soldier about his accommodation,

5142
03:01:46,996 --> 03:01:48,597
and he replied that he had secured

5143
03:01:48,597 --> 03:01:50,099
a comfortable place.

5144
03:01:50,099 --> 03:01:51,934
Sensing an opportunity,

5145
03:01:51,934 --> 03:01:54,603
I inquired if there was space for me as well.

5146
03:01:54,603 --> 03:01:57,506
He readily agreed, saying, certainly, Robert,

5147
03:01:57,506 --> 03:02:01,310
if your current lodging isn't satisfactory, join me.

5148
03:02:01,310 --> 03:02:02,711
Grateful for the invitation,

5149
03:02:02,711 --> 03:02:04,780
I swiftly gathered my belongings

5150
03:02:04,780 --> 03:02:06,982
and moved to his accommodations.

5151
03:02:06,982 --> 03:02:09,952
Despite the landlord's insistence that I stay,

5152
03:02:09,952 --> 03:02:13,923
I politely declined, stating, I've stayed long enough.

5153
03:02:13,923 --> 03:02:16,425
I would not sleep on the road to hell.

5154
03:02:16,425 --> 03:02:17,293
Upon arriving

5155
03:02:17,293 --> 03:02:18,360
at the Isle of Wight,

5156
03:02:18,360 --> 03:02:21,397
I remained there for approximately six weeks.

5157
03:02:21,397 --> 03:02:22,364
During my stay,

5158
03:02:22,364 --> 03:02:25,467
I learned of a Baptist church located in Gosport,

5159
03:02:25,467 --> 03:02:28,437
a nearby area not far from the Isle of Wight Barracks,

5160
03:02:28,437 --> 03:02:31,740
which served as a hub for recruiting young soldiers

5161
03:02:31,740 --> 03:02:34,209
eager to connect with fellow believers.

5162
03:02:34,209 --> 03:02:36,145
I introduced myself to the minister

5163
03:02:36,145 --> 03:02:38,280
and members of the congregation.

5164
03:02:38,280 --> 03:02:40,249
We often gathered for social meetings,

5165
03:02:40,249 --> 03:02:42,785
during which they inquired about my journey to faith.

5166
03:02:42,785 --> 03:02:44,520
While serving in the army,

5167
03:02:44,520 --> 03:02:45,220
I recounted

5168
03:02:45,220 --> 03:02:48,457
the same experiences detailed in the preceding pages,

5169
03:02:48,457 --> 03:02:50,459
which seemed to astonish them.

5170
03:02:50,459 --> 03:02:53,362
They exclaimed, dear me, here is a man

5171
03:02:53,362 --> 03:02:56,632
who found conversion 15,000 miles away,

5172
03:02:56,632 --> 03:02:59,802
yet shares the same spiritual journey as us,

5173
03:02:59,802 --> 03:03:01,737
they concluded, affirming

5174
03:03:01,737 --> 03:03:04,907
it is the work of the same spirit.

5175
03:03:04,907 --> 03:03:08,043
As the time came for me to rejoin the 12 veterans,

5176
03:03:08,043 --> 03:03:10,112
I received orders to embark on a ship

5177
03:03:10,112 --> 03:03:11,880
bound for the Cove of Cork,

5178
03:03:11,880 --> 03:03:15,451
accompanied by around 300 new recruits.

5179
03:03:15,451 --> 03:03:18,520
As our ship set sail, a fierce storm engulfed us,

5180
03:03:18,520 --> 03:03:21,957
driving us perilously close to Milford Haven in Wales,

5181
03:03:21,957 --> 03:03:23,892
where we hastily dropped anchor.

5182
03:03:23,892 --> 03:03:26,295
However, the Anchorage proved treacherous

5183
03:03:26,295 --> 03:03:27,229
and our vessel began

5184
03:03:27,229 --> 03:03:28,530
to drift dangerously close

5185
03:03:28,530 --> 03:03:30,499
to a towering rock formation.

5186
03:03:30,499 --> 03:03:31,633
Despair loomed

5187
03:03:31,633 --> 03:03:34,636
as it seemed all hope of rescue was lost.

5188
03:03:34,636 --> 03:03:35,971
Soldiers were confined

5189
03:03:35,971 --> 03:03:38,974
below deck, forbidden from venturing topside

5190
03:03:38,974 --> 03:03:40,843
in the grip of a profound fear.

5191
03:03:40,843 --> 03:03:43,512
I defied the orders and ascended to the deck,

5192
03:03:43,512 --> 03:03:46,849
gazing at the ominous clouds and tumultuous waves,

5193
03:03:46,849 --> 03:03:48,851
I felt a surge of desperation.

5194
03:03:48,851 --> 03:03:50,619
In that moment of utmost need,

5195
03:03:50,619 --> 03:03:52,287
I sent a fervent prayer heavenward

5196
03:03:52,287 --> 03:03:53,922
in the name of the Lord Jesus,

5197
03:03:53,922 --> 03:03:56,258
beseeching for deliverance,

5198
03:03:56,258 --> 03:03:59,228
recognizing that my extremity might be an opportunity

5199
03:03:59,228 --> 03:04:00,896
for divine intervention,

5200
03:04:00,896 --> 03:04:03,799
I humbly pleaded, oh Lord, I am unworthy.

5201
03:04:03,799 --> 03:04:05,234
But heed the prayers of those

5202
03:04:05,234 --> 03:04:08,937
among the church at Gosport who intercede for me.

5203
03:04:08,937 --> 03:04:10,339
Almost immediately the anchor

5204
03:04:10,339 --> 03:04:12,641
held fast, dispelling my terror,

5205
03:04:12,641 --> 03:04:14,977
and I returned to the soldiers below.

5206
03:04:14,977 --> 03:04:18,047
However, instead of finding them engaged in prayer,

5207
03:04:18,047 --> 03:04:19,581
they sought solace in idle

5208
03:04:19,581 --> 03:04:20,616
tales and stories

5209
03:04:20,616 --> 03:04:21,417
to quell their fear

5210
03:04:21,417 --> 03:04:22,818
of impending death

5211
03:04:22,818 --> 03:04:24,119
with a sense of authority

5212
03:04:24,119 --> 03:04:26,088
inspired by the answered prayer,

5213
03:04:26,088 --> 03:04:28,924
I admonish them for their frivolity, urging them

5214
03:04:28,924 --> 03:04:30,726
to repent and seek God's mercy

5215
03:04:30,726 --> 03:04:32,628
with contrition and tears,

5216
03:04:32,628 --> 03:04:35,731
preaching the message of Jesus and His crucifixion,

5217
03:04:35,731 --> 03:04:38,534
I implored them to take heart, assuring them

5218
03:04:38,534 --> 03:04:42,171
that the anchor was secure and they would not perish.

5219
03:04:42,171 --> 03:04:42,704
That night,

5220
03:04:42,704 --> 03:04:43,172
I witnessed

5221
03:04:43,172 --> 03:04:43,939
one of the soldiers

5222
03:04:43,939 --> 03:04:45,641
wives fervently praying with tears

5223
03:04:45,641 --> 03:04:47,242
streaming down her face.

5224
03:04:47,242 --> 03:04:49,278
Yet the following day, as the weather cleared,

5225
03:04:49,278 --> 03:04:51,246
I overheard her cursing.

5226
03:04:51,246 --> 03:04:54,483
Bewildered by this contradiction, I confronted her,

5227
03:04:54,483 --> 03:04:57,653
reminding her of the mercy granted during the storm

5228
03:04:57,653 --> 03:05:00,622
and admonishing her for her ingratitude.

5229
03:05:00,622 --> 03:05:02,157
I said to her,

5230
03:05:02,157 --> 03:05:04,860
you were praying last night and you are cursing today.

5231
03:05:04,860 --> 03:05:06,495
What a contradiction!

5232
03:05:06,495 --> 03:05:09,331
The terrors of your mind fled when the storm was over,

5233
03:05:09,331 --> 03:05:11,233
and now you are offending the same God

5234
03:05:11,233 --> 03:05:12,935
that saved you from being drowned

5235
03:05:12,935 --> 03:05:14,903
and perishing in the waters.

5236
03:05:14,903 --> 03:05:15,804
On a clear day

5237
03:05:15,804 --> 03:05:18,874
we raised anchor and set sail for the cove of Cork.

5238
03:05:18,874 --> 03:05:19,775
Upon arrival,

5239
03:05:19,775 --> 03:05:21,143
I made my way to Yeovil,

5240
03:05:21,143 --> 03:05:23,612
where the 12th Veteran Battalion was stationed.

5241
03:05:23,612 --> 03:05:25,481
There I delivered a letter to the Colonel

5242
03:05:25,481 --> 03:05:28,517
expressing my desire to be transferred to Scotland.

5243
03:05:28,517 --> 03:05:29,952
The other recruits dispersed

5244
03:05:29,952 --> 03:05:31,587
to their respective regiments,

5245
03:05:31,587 --> 03:05:33,689
while I found favor in the eyes of the Colonel

5246
03:05:33,689 --> 03:05:35,457
and all the officers,

5247
03:05:35,457 --> 03:05:37,392
the Colonel instructed the adjutant

5248
03:05:37,392 --> 03:05:40,429
to draft a memorial to the Duke of York, seeking

5249
03:05:40,429 --> 03:05:41,997
permission for my transfer

5250
03:05:41,997 --> 03:05:44,466
to a veteran battalion in Scotland.

5251
03:05:44,466 --> 03:05:47,202
During my time with the 12th Regiment in Yeovil,

5252
03:05:47,202 --> 03:05:49,104
lasting nearly two months,

5253
03:05:49,104 --> 03:05:51,840
the Duke of York granted my request, assigning me

5254
03:05:51,840 --> 03:05:53,242
to the ninth Veteran Battalion

5255
03:05:53,242 --> 03:05:55,277
stationed at Edinburgh Castle.

5256
03:05:55,277 --> 03:05:56,712
It was evident that the Duke held

5257
03:05:56,712 --> 03:05:59,515
the welfare of soldiers in high regard.

5258
03:05:59,515 --> 03:06:00,916
During my stay in Yeovil,

5259
03:06:00,916 --> 03:06:03,152
I became associated with a religious community

5260
03:06:03,152 --> 03:06:04,353
of Christians.

5261
03:06:04,353 --> 03:06:06,388
I grew particularly fond of the minister

5262
03:06:06,388 --> 03:06:08,991
whose preaching adhered to sound doctrine,

5263
03:06:08,991 --> 03:06:10,526
and the members of the congregation

5264
03:06:10,526 --> 03:06:12,361
shared a similar mindset.

5265
03:06:12,361 --> 03:06:14,496
We regularly gathered for social meetings,

5266
03:06:14,496 --> 03:06:17,900
engaging in fellowship, reading scripture and sharing

5267
03:06:17,900 --> 03:06:21,336
insights through discussion, prayer and praise.

5268
03:06:21,336 --> 03:06:23,372
Despite wearing a military uniform,

5269
03:06:23,372 --> 03:06:26,308
I never felt judged or excluded by this community.

5270
03:06:26,308 --> 03:06:27,543
On the contrary,

5271
03:06:27,543 --> 03:06:29,077
they welcomed me into their homes

5272
03:06:29,077 --> 03:06:29,678
and engaged

5273
03:06:29,678 --> 03:06:31,547
in heartfelt conversations

5274
03:06:31,547 --> 03:06:32,748
about matters pertaining

5275
03:06:32,748 --> 03:06:34,750
to spiritual peace and growth.

5276
03:06:34,750 --> 03:06:35,751
At this church,

5277
03:06:35,751 --> 03:06:38,153
where several affluent members attended,

5278
03:06:38,153 --> 03:06:39,421
a weekly collection was

5279
03:06:39,421 --> 03:06:42,591
conscientiously made to support the less fortunate.

5280
03:06:42,591 --> 03:06:43,992
Eager to contribute,

5281
03:06:43,992 --> 03:06:45,861
I approached the minister and expressed

5282
03:06:45,861 --> 03:06:47,863
my desire to be of service.

5283
03:06:47,863 --> 03:06:50,332
He received my offer with evident delight

5284
03:06:50,332 --> 03:06:51,433
and promptly assigned me

5285
03:06:51,433 --> 03:06:52,935
a meaningful task,

5286
03:06:52,935 --> 03:06:56,104
distributing the collected funds to those in need.

5287
03:06:56,104 --> 03:06:57,339
Equipped with addresses

5288
03:06:57,339 --> 03:06:59,575
and instructions for each recipient,

5289
03:06:59,575 --> 03:07:02,311
I embarked on this important responsibility,

5290
03:07:02,311 --> 03:07:05,280
finding it to be deeply rewarding work.

5291
03:07:05,280 --> 03:07:07,950
One particular visit stands out in my memory.

5292
03:07:07,950 --> 03:07:09,384
I entered a humble dwelling

5293
03:07:09,384 --> 03:07:11,553
where I encountered an elderly woman

5294
03:07:11,553 --> 03:07:13,589
nearly 100 years old and her daughter,

5295
03:07:13,589 --> 03:07:15,290
who was around 80.

5296
03:07:15,290 --> 03:07:16,692
Their impoverished conditions

5297
03:07:16,692 --> 03:07:19,161
would have stirred anyone's compassion.

5298
03:07:19,161 --> 03:07:20,529
Despite their hardships.

5299
03:07:20,529 --> 03:07:22,231
They listened attentively as I shared

5300
03:07:22,231 --> 03:07:24,199
passages from the Word of God

5301
03:07:24,199 --> 03:07:25,067
and spoke to them

5302
03:07:25,067 --> 03:07:26,535
about the role of Jesus Christ

5303
03:07:26,535 --> 03:07:29,271
as the sole mediator between God and humanity.

5304
03:07:29,271 --> 03:07:31,974
I emphasized that salvation comes through faith

5305
03:07:31,974 --> 03:07:35,911
in his completed work, reassuring them of God's grace.

5306
03:07:35,911 --> 03:07:38,847
In other households I visited, I sought to dispel

5307
03:07:38,847 --> 03:07:42,451
beliefs in the Pope, penances, and purgatory,

5308
03:07:42,451 --> 03:07:46,288
instead focusing on the simplicity of faith in Christ.

5309
03:07:46,288 --> 03:07:48,991
Together, we prayed earnestly with both

5310
03:07:48,991 --> 03:07:52,294
men and women kneeling in humble supplication.

5311
03:07:52,294 --> 03:07:53,695
In some instances,

5312
03:07:53,695 --> 03:07:54,429
I encountered

5313
03:07:54,429 --> 03:07:56,064
unsanitary conditions,

5314
03:07:56,064 --> 03:07:58,800
with pigs freely roaming inside the homes,

5315
03:07:58,800 --> 03:08:00,269
indicative of the poverty

5316
03:08:00,269 --> 03:08:02,304
that afflicted these families.

5317
03:08:02,304 --> 03:08:05,374
The members of that church exhibited remarkable zeal,

5318
03:08:05,374 --> 03:08:07,409
both the men and women alike.

5319
03:08:07,409 --> 03:08:09,611
They operated a sizable school,

5320
03:08:09,611 --> 03:08:10,979
and on the Sabbath day

5321
03:08:10,979 --> 03:08:13,181
they gathered in the church with the children.

5322
03:08:13,181 --> 03:08:15,284
During the intermission between sermons,

5323
03:08:15,284 --> 03:08:17,586
to listen to them recite their lessons.

5324
03:08:17,586 --> 03:08:19,621
I was astonished by the proficiency

5325
03:08:19,621 --> 03:08:22,457
with which the children articulated their tasks.

5326
03:08:22,457 --> 03:08:25,761
Some of them could flawlessly recite entire epistles

5327
03:08:25,761 --> 03:08:27,062
that they had learned by heart

5328
03:08:27,062 --> 03:08:29,197
over the course of a single week.

5329
03:08:29,197 --> 03:08:32,100
While I have encountered many schools in Scotland,

5330
03:08:32,100 --> 03:08:35,537
I observed that Irish children in general display

5331
03:08:35,537 --> 03:08:38,040
a greater eagerness to learn, to read, and possess

5332
03:08:38,040 --> 03:08:39,675
a remarkable capacity

5333
03:08:39,675 --> 03:08:41,610
to retain what they have learned.

5334
03:08:41,610 --> 03:08:43,645
The time came for my departure,

5335
03:08:43,645 --> 03:08:46,848
and I received my discharge marching from Ewell

5336
03:08:46,848 --> 03:08:50,819
to Dublin, a journey of approximately 100 miles.

5337
03:08:50,819 --> 03:08:51,620
Along the way,

5338
03:08:51,620 --> 03:08:53,989
I had the authority to request accommodation

5339
03:08:53,989 --> 03:08:57,359
from the lodging officer for a night stay in any house

5340
03:08:57,359 --> 03:08:58,660
he designated,

5341
03:08:58,660 --> 03:09:01,163
carrying a bundle of tracks in my knapsack.

5342
03:09:01,163 --> 03:09:03,532
I distributed them as I traveled.

5343
03:09:03,532 --> 03:09:06,401
On one occasion I encountered a group of Irishmen,

5344
03:09:06,401 --> 03:09:06,835
and upon

5345
03:09:06,835 --> 03:09:09,104
discovering that four of them could read,

5346
03:09:09,104 --> 03:09:11,073
I offered to give them a tract.

5347
03:09:11,073 --> 03:09:12,641
One man eagerly accepted,

5348
03:09:12,641 --> 03:09:15,043
and proceeded to read it aloud to the assembled group,

5349
03:09:15,043 --> 03:09:16,712
who listened attentively.

5350
03:09:16,712 --> 03:09:19,614
While tracks may be regarded lightly, in Scotland,

5351
03:09:19,614 --> 03:09:21,683
they were esteemed as a significant gift

5352
03:09:21,683 --> 03:09:23,085
by the Irishman.

5353
03:09:23,085 --> 03:09:24,453
Continuing my journey,

5354
03:09:24,453 --> 03:09:26,955
I encountered a peddler selling pictures,

5355
03:09:26,955 --> 03:09:29,891
many of which depicted saints including the Virgin

5356
03:09:29,891 --> 03:09:31,760
Mary and Saint Peter.

5357
03:09:31,760 --> 03:09:33,095
Sensing an opportunity,

5358
03:09:33,095 --> 03:09:37,099
I proposed an exchange tracks for the pictures.

5359
03:09:37,099 --> 03:09:38,300
The peddler agreed,

5360
03:09:38,300 --> 03:09:39,167
understanding that

5361
03:09:39,167 --> 03:09:41,036
he could potentially receive more value

5362
03:09:41,036 --> 03:09:43,171
for the tracts than the pictures.

5363
03:09:43,171 --> 03:09:45,006
Upon acquiring the pictures,

5364
03:09:45,006 --> 03:09:46,575
I discreetly disposed of them

5365
03:09:46,575 --> 03:09:47,609
by tearing them up

5366
03:09:47,609 --> 03:09:50,145
and burying them in a secluded field.

5367
03:09:50,145 --> 03:09:53,482
In doing so, I hoped to mitigate any potential harm

5368
03:09:53,482 --> 03:09:54,850
they could cause.

5369
03:09:54,850 --> 03:09:57,085
Upon receiving lodging in any house.

5370
03:09:57,085 --> 03:09:58,954
I remained awake until bedtime,

5371
03:09:58,954 --> 03:10:00,822
observing their devotional practices

5372
03:10:00,822 --> 03:10:02,190
with a heavy heart,

5373
03:10:02,190 --> 03:10:04,025
I witnessed them worshiping beings

5374
03:10:04,025 --> 03:10:04,960
they knew, not

5375
03:10:04,960 --> 03:10:06,428
praying to the Virgin Mary

5376
03:10:06,428 --> 03:10:08,897
and other departed saints for intercession,

5377
03:10:08,897 --> 03:10:11,967
their supplications seemingly endless.

5378
03:10:11,967 --> 03:10:14,536
Despite my inner turmoil, I remained civil

5379
03:10:14,536 --> 03:10:16,204
and refrained from interrupting

5380
03:10:16,204 --> 03:10:18,640
until they had completed their prayers.

5381
03:10:18,640 --> 03:10:20,008
Once they had finished,

5382
03:10:20,008 --> 03:10:22,144
I respectfully requested permission

5383
03:10:22,144 --> 03:10:23,612
to worship the Lord

5384
03:10:23,612 --> 03:10:26,782
according to the teachings revealed in His Word.

5385
03:10:26,782 --> 03:10:28,183
Retrieving the Bible,

5386
03:10:28,183 --> 03:10:30,919
I commenced with singing a few verses of a psalm

5387
03:10:30,919 --> 03:10:32,220
before reading a chapter

5388
03:10:32,220 --> 03:10:34,523
that condemned the manner of their worship.

5389
03:10:34,523 --> 03:10:37,225
I emphasized that there is only one God and one

5390
03:10:37,225 --> 03:10:40,495
mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus,

5391
03:10:40,495 --> 03:10:41,463
and that access to

5392
03:10:41,463 --> 03:10:43,131
the father is granted solely

5393
03:10:43,131 --> 03:10:45,100
through him by the spirit.

5394
03:10:45,100 --> 03:10:47,102
Subsequently, I knelt in prayer

5395
03:10:47,102 --> 03:10:49,304
denouncing their adherence to Popery

5396
03:10:49,304 --> 03:10:51,306
and exalting Christ fearlessly,

5397
03:10:51,306 --> 03:10:53,708
despite any potential danger to myself,

5398
03:10:53,708 --> 03:10:56,244
I employed every means at my disposal

5399
03:10:56,244 --> 03:10:58,480
to guide them toward the right path,

5400
03:10:58,480 --> 03:11:01,716
recognizing the immeasurable worth of their souls

5401
03:11:01,716 --> 03:11:03,752
and the imminent peril of an eternity

5402
03:11:03,752 --> 03:11:05,520
separated from God.

5403
03:11:05,520 --> 03:11:07,656
Though they regarded me with wonder,

5404
03:11:07,656 --> 03:11:09,157
they did me no harm,

5405
03:11:09,157 --> 03:11:12,828
and I retired to bed, steadfast in my convictions.

5406
03:11:12,828 --> 03:11:15,564
This was how I passed my time, to the best

5407
03:11:15,564 --> 03:11:18,767
of my recollection, until I reached Dublin.

5408
03:11:18,767 --> 03:11:19,835
Along the road

5409
03:11:19,835 --> 03:11:21,636
I encountered many people who greeted me

5410
03:11:21,636 --> 03:11:23,271
with God bless you.

5411
03:11:23,271 --> 03:11:25,373
A common salutation in Ireland

5412
03:11:25,373 --> 03:11:27,776
akin to our good day in Scotland.

5413
03:11:27,776 --> 03:11:28,844
In other parts of the world,

5414
03:11:28,844 --> 03:11:30,512
such as the Cape of Good Hope,

5415
03:11:30,512 --> 03:11:33,014
the customary greeting as rain rum,

5416
03:11:33,014 --> 03:11:34,549
while in India paying respect

5417
03:11:34,549 --> 03:11:34,983
with a hand

5418
03:11:34,983 --> 03:11:38,487
gesture is accompanied by Salam Saheb, Salam

5419
03:11:38,487 --> 03:11:40,822
with saheb meaning master.

5420
03:11:40,822 --> 03:11:42,724
It's customary for a person,

5421
03:11:42,724 --> 03:11:44,993
especially if they are in need, and receive something.

5422
03:11:44,993 --> 03:11:48,330
They require to express profound gratitude

5423
03:11:48,330 --> 03:11:50,332
by kneeling down with great respect

5424
03:11:50,332 --> 03:11:53,001
and even kissing the feet of the benefactor.

5425
03:11:53,001 --> 03:11:53,702
In India,

5426
03:11:53,702 --> 03:11:54,970
elephant keepers ride

5427
03:11:54,970 --> 03:11:57,572
on the necks of these majestic animals,

5428
03:11:57,572 --> 03:12:00,408
communicating with them in the Hindu language

5429
03:12:00,408 --> 03:12:02,744
and teaching them various behaviors,

5430
03:12:02,744 --> 03:12:04,479
including begging.

5431
03:12:04,479 --> 03:12:07,115
When an elephant approaches a person and a coin is

5432
03:12:07,115 --> 03:12:08,283
given, it

5433
03:12:08,283 --> 03:12:10,719
deftly picks it up with the tip of its trunk

5434
03:12:10,719 --> 03:12:12,687
and passes it to its keeper.

5435
03:12:12,687 --> 03:12:14,956
Moreover, the keeper trains the elephant

5436
03:12:14,956 --> 03:12:16,625
to greet those who offer coins

5437
03:12:16,625 --> 03:12:18,293
with a respectful salaam,

5438
03:12:18,293 --> 03:12:21,129
lifting its trunk and touching its head.

5439
03:12:21,129 --> 03:12:24,332
In my experience, elephants stand out as remarkable,

5440
03:12:24,332 --> 03:12:26,234
intelligent creatures.

5441
03:12:26,234 --> 03:12:28,970
Upon arriving at headquarters in Dublin, I promptly

5442
03:12:28,970 --> 03:12:29,771
delivered the letter

5443
03:12:29,771 --> 03:12:32,440
from the Colonel of the 12th Veteran Battalion.

5444
03:12:32,440 --> 03:12:33,575
Over the following weeks,

5445
03:12:33,575 --> 03:12:35,544
I had the opportunity to acquaint myself

5446
03:12:35,544 --> 03:12:37,412
with many devout individuals.

5447
03:12:37,412 --> 03:12:38,480
During my time there,

5448
03:12:38,480 --> 03:12:39,981
I was invited by a gentleman,

5449
03:12:39,981 --> 03:12:41,950
along with a group of fellow Christians,

5450
03:12:41,950 --> 03:12:43,952
to join them for breakfast.

5451
03:12:43,952 --> 03:12:45,854
As we gathered around the table,

5452
03:12:45,854 --> 03:12:47,289
I was taken aback to find

5453
03:12:47,289 --> 03:12:48,890
that they did not offer a blessing

5454
03:12:48,890 --> 03:12:50,926
before partaking of the meal.

5455
03:12:50,926 --> 03:12:52,727
Uncertain of how to proceed,

5456
03:12:52,727 --> 03:12:55,597
I silently offered my own prayer to the Lord.

5457
03:12:55,597 --> 03:12:57,566
However, the absence of a collective

5458
03:12:57,566 --> 03:13:00,669
blessing weighed heavily on my mind as I ate.

5459
03:13:00,669 --> 03:13:03,071
Feeling compelled to address the matter,

5460
03:13:03,071 --> 03:13:05,941
I gently reminded them of Jesus's example,

5461
03:13:05,941 --> 03:13:08,877
which he left for us to follow in His Word.

5462
03:13:08,877 --> 03:13:10,979
I emphasize the importance of glorifying

5463
03:13:10,979 --> 03:13:12,614
God in all our actions,

5464
03:13:12,614 --> 03:13:16,551
whether eating, drinking, or any other activity.

5465
03:13:16,551 --> 03:13:17,652
I approach the topic

5466
03:13:17,652 --> 03:13:21,623
with kindness and tact, mindful not to cause offense.

5467
03:13:21,623 --> 03:13:22,757
They said to me,

5468
03:13:22,757 --> 03:13:25,160
since we forgot to ask for God's blessing

5469
03:13:25,160 --> 03:13:26,528
before we began,

5470
03:13:26,528 --> 03:13:28,563
we'd like to give you the honor of thanking God

5471
03:13:28,563 --> 03:13:29,831
when we're finished.

5472
03:13:29,831 --> 03:13:31,433
And so I did.

5473
03:13:31,433 --> 03:13:34,069
I didn't hold back in confessing our sins.

5474
03:13:34,069 --> 03:13:36,838
I emphasized that when we lived without grace,

5475
03:13:36,838 --> 03:13:38,974
we used to eat and drink selfishly,

5476
03:13:38,974 --> 03:13:40,675
never thanking God.

5477
03:13:40,675 --> 03:13:42,010
But now, as believers,

5478
03:13:42,010 --> 03:13:44,112
we must set ourselves apart from our past

5479
03:13:44,112 --> 03:13:45,847
and from the ways of the world.

5480
03:13:45,847 --> 03:13:46,715
We should acknowledge

5481
03:13:46,715 --> 03:13:48,350
God in everything we do,

5482
03:13:48,350 --> 03:13:50,852
trusting that he will guide our paths.

5483
03:13:50,852 --> 03:13:53,588
They received my words kindly and we parted on

5484
03:13:53,588 --> 03:13:56,858
good terms, strengthening our friendship.

5485
03:13:56,858 --> 03:13:57,759
The time came for me

5486
03:13:57,759 --> 03:14:00,161
to embark on my journey to Edinburgh Castle.

5487
03:14:00,161 --> 03:14:01,763
There was a vessel bound for Irvin

5488
03:14:01,763 --> 03:14:03,331
and I had to board her.

5489
03:14:03,331 --> 03:14:04,766
Throughout all my voyages

5490
03:14:04,766 --> 03:14:06,968
I had faced the danger of being lost.

5491
03:14:06,968 --> 03:14:09,904
But this last journey from Dublin to Irvine

5492
03:14:09,904 --> 03:14:11,039
was the most pleasant

5493
03:14:11,039 --> 03:14:13,842
I had ever experienced in my mind.

5494
03:14:13,842 --> 03:14:16,111
I likened it to my spiritual journey

5495
03:14:16,111 --> 03:14:17,912
from my initial state of nature

5496
03:14:17,912 --> 03:14:21,783
to my eventual sanctification, just as I had endured

5497
03:14:21,783 --> 03:14:23,952
rough passages to reach the haven

5498
03:14:23,952 --> 03:14:25,687
that would end my voyage,

5499
03:14:25,687 --> 03:14:26,855
I now find myself

5500
03:14:26,855 --> 03:14:29,157
nearing the end of my earthly journey.

5501
03:14:29,157 --> 03:14:31,159
Now, as I draw closer to the end,

5502
03:14:31,159 --> 03:14:33,061
I am blessed with the gracious presence

5503
03:14:33,061 --> 03:14:34,729
of my Lord and master.

5504
03:14:34,729 --> 03:14:37,332
My latter days seem brighter than the beginning

5505
03:14:37,332 --> 03:14:39,000
in the evidence, in my experience,

5506
03:14:39,000 --> 03:14:40,502
is becoming clearer.

5507
03:14:40,502 --> 03:14:41,336
I am granted

5508
03:14:41,336 --> 03:14:43,104
foretaste of the fullness of joy

5509
03:14:43,104 --> 03:14:45,807
reserved for those who remain faithful servants.

5510
03:14:45,807 --> 03:14:46,574
All of this

5511
03:14:46,574 --> 03:14:48,143
I attribute to the good pleasure

5512
03:14:48,143 --> 03:14:51,613
and sovereign grace of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

5513
03:14:51,613 --> 03:14:55,183
To the father, son, and Holy Ghost, one God,

5514
03:14:55,183 --> 03:14:56,685
be all the glory.

5515
03:14:56,685 --> 03:14:58,787
We arrived at Irvine during the night.

5516
03:14:58,787 --> 03:15:01,056
I was assigned lodging in a respectable house,

5517
03:15:01,056 --> 03:15:02,524
and rose early the next morning

5518
03:15:02,524 --> 03:15:04,726
to continue my journey to Glasgow.

5519
03:15:04,726 --> 03:15:07,662
It struck me as remarkable that the first church

5520
03:15:07,662 --> 03:15:11,199
I encountered in Scotland was located in Irvine.

5521
03:15:11,199 --> 03:15:13,168
As I gazed upon it for the first time,

5522
03:15:13,168 --> 03:15:14,502
upon setting foot on Scottish

5523
03:15:14,502 --> 03:15:18,406
soil, an indescribable joy welled up within me

5524
03:15:18,406 --> 03:15:21,309
how different I felt from when I first arrived.

5525
03:15:21,309 --> 03:15:24,245
It was as if the Lord himself was affirming,

5526
03:15:24,245 --> 03:15:26,881
this is the land of your inheritance.

5527
03:15:26,881 --> 03:15:28,183
Reflecting on this moment,

5528
03:15:28,183 --> 03:15:29,984
I recognize the kind purposes

5529
03:15:29,984 --> 03:15:32,253
and gracious providence of the Lord.

5530
03:15:32,253 --> 03:15:35,023
He had brought me back to Scotland for my own benefit,

5531
03:15:35,023 --> 03:15:37,358
and to enable me to serve others.

5532
03:15:37,358 --> 03:15:38,393
Near Irvine

5533
03:15:38,393 --> 03:15:41,129
I encountered a mason heading to work in the morning,

5534
03:15:41,129 --> 03:15:42,797
and we walked together along the road

5535
03:15:42,797 --> 03:15:44,632
for a considerable distance,

5536
03:15:44,632 --> 03:15:47,335
engaging in religious conversation,

5537
03:15:47,335 --> 03:15:50,071
I discovered that he was a devout Christian.

5538
03:15:50,071 --> 03:15:50,905
As we converse,

5539
03:15:50,905 --> 03:15:52,774
both of us felt a profound sense of joy

5540
03:15:52,774 --> 03:15:53,908
and fellowship.

5541
03:15:53,908 --> 03:15:55,310
I truly believed in my heart

5542
03:15:55,310 --> 03:15:56,411
that the Lord, who appeared

5543
03:15:56,411 --> 03:15:58,313
to the disciples on the road to Emmaus

5544
03:15:58,313 --> 03:15:58,913
and expounded

5545
03:15:58,913 --> 03:16:00,215
the scriptures to them,

5546
03:16:00,215 --> 03:16:03,218
was graciously present with us in spirit.

5547
03:16:03,218 --> 03:16:05,987
Our hearts burned within us as we spoke,

5548
03:16:05,987 --> 03:16:07,689
and I felt a deep love for the Lord

5549
03:16:07,689 --> 03:16:09,991
Jesus welling up inside me.

5550
03:16:09,991 --> 03:16:10,959
Similarly,

5551
03:16:10,959 --> 03:16:14,395
he appeared to be moved by the same spiritual fervor,

5552
03:16:14,395 --> 03:16:17,132
despite the sight of my military attire,

5553
03:16:17,132 --> 03:16:20,702
a red coat on my back and a knapsack on my shoulders.

5554
03:16:20,702 --> 03:16:23,471
He regarded me with astonishment, perhaps

5555
03:16:23,471 --> 03:16:26,808
doubting that such a man could exist within the army.

5556
03:16:26,808 --> 03:16:30,011
Upon reaching his workplace, he shook hands with me

5557
03:16:30,011 --> 03:16:31,513
and thank the Lord for the presence

5558
03:16:31,513 --> 03:16:33,982
of his people in every station of life.

5559
03:16:33,982 --> 03:16:35,216
He then attempted to give me

5560
03:16:35,216 --> 03:16:37,485
a shilling as a token of his gratitude,

5561
03:16:37,485 --> 03:16:38,887
but I declined.

5562
03:16:38,887 --> 03:16:41,823
Undeterred, he insisted that I accepted.

5563
03:16:41,823 --> 03:16:43,958
When I refused to take it from his hand,

5564
03:16:43,958 --> 03:16:47,295
he placed it at my feet before departing for his work.

5565
03:16:47,295 --> 03:16:49,864
I felt it was more appropriate to pick it up

5566
03:16:49,864 --> 03:16:51,800
than to let it go to waste.

5567
03:16:51,800 --> 03:16:53,568
Upon my arrival in Glasgow,

5568
03:16:53,568 --> 03:16:54,869
I approached the authorities

5569
03:16:54,869 --> 03:16:55,403
and explained

5570
03:16:55,403 --> 03:16:57,372
that I had not seen my father and mother,

5571
03:16:57,372 --> 03:17:00,441
who lived in Old Kilpatrick for 15 years.

5572
03:17:00,441 --> 03:17:02,744
Expressing my desire to visit them,

5573
03:17:02,744 --> 03:17:05,146
I requested permission to do so.

5574
03:17:05,146 --> 03:17:07,048
Old Kilpatrick is situated

5575
03:17:07,048 --> 03:17:09,250
about ten miles west of Glasgow.

5576
03:17:09,250 --> 03:17:11,853
The authorities did not object to my request

5577
03:17:11,853 --> 03:17:14,722
and with my furlough extended for a couple more days,

5578
03:17:14,722 --> 03:17:17,192
I set out to see my aging parents.

5579
03:17:17,192 --> 03:17:18,660
Upon reaching their home,

5580
03:17:18,660 --> 03:17:19,994
I found my father and mother

5581
03:17:19,994 --> 03:17:22,363
living with my young brother and two sisters.

5582
03:17:22,363 --> 03:17:24,699
Two of my brothers were serving in the army,

5583
03:17:24,699 --> 03:17:26,434
one in the 79th Regiment

5584
03:17:26,434 --> 03:17:28,603
and the other in the 71st Regiment.

5585
03:17:28,603 --> 03:17:31,906
Despite wearing my red coat and carrying my knapsack,

5586
03:17:31,906 --> 03:17:33,942
I made my way to my father's house.

5587
03:17:33,942 --> 03:17:35,610
It was located on the upper floor

5588
03:17:35,610 --> 03:17:38,847
of a building accessible by an external staircase.

5589
03:17:38,847 --> 03:17:40,014
My father spotted me

5590
03:17:40,014 --> 03:17:41,149
as I ascended the stairs

5591
03:17:41,149 --> 03:17:42,417
and hurried inside

5592
03:17:42,417 --> 03:17:45,286
to inform my mother and the rest of the family.

5593
03:17:45,286 --> 03:17:46,454
Here is Robert.

5594
03:17:46,454 --> 03:17:48,089
Come home at last.

5595
03:17:48,089 --> 03:17:50,024
After exchanging warm greetings,

5596
03:17:50,024 --> 03:17:52,694
I suggested that we all kneel down together and offer

5597
03:17:52,694 --> 03:17:54,295
thanks to the Lord for his sovereign

5598
03:17:54,295 --> 03:17:55,830
and gracious provision

5599
03:17:55,830 --> 03:17:59,000
in allowing us to reunite after so many years apart.

5600
03:17:59,000 --> 03:18:00,702
We thanked him for his protection

5601
03:18:00,702 --> 03:18:02,337
through numerous dangers

5602
03:18:02,337 --> 03:18:03,571
and most importantly,

5603
03:18:03,571 --> 03:18:04,839
for the transformation

5604
03:18:04,839 --> 03:18:07,842
he had wrought in my life since I had left them.

5605
03:18:07,842 --> 03:18:10,278
My family warmly embraced the suggestion,

5606
03:18:10,278 --> 03:18:11,880
and we knelt in prayer,

5607
03:18:11,880 --> 03:18:15,116
pouring out our hearts in gratitude and praise.

5608
03:18:15,116 --> 03:18:16,851
Following our prayer time,

5609
03:18:16,851 --> 03:18:19,621
we enjoyed a delightful conversation together,

5610
03:18:19,621 --> 03:18:22,290
cherishing the precious moments of reunion.

5611
03:18:22,290 --> 03:18:25,026
However, the time eventually came for me to depart

5612
03:18:25,026 --> 03:18:27,228
and join the ninth Veteran Battalion.

5613
03:18:27,228 --> 03:18:28,796
I first made my way to Glasgow

5614
03:18:28,796 --> 03:18:30,932
and then traveled by coach to Edinburgh.

5615
03:18:30,932 --> 03:18:32,834
The site of the old castle of Edinburgh

5616
03:18:32,834 --> 03:18:34,035
filled me with gladness

5617
03:18:34,035 --> 03:18:39,540
and anticipation for the journey ahead.

5618
03:18:39,540 --> 03:18:39,974
Chapter

5619
03:18:39,974 --> 03:18:43,177
nine trials amidst the unrighteous.

5620
03:18:43,177 --> 03:18:45,079
Upon discovering my regiment,

5621
03:18:45,079 --> 03:18:48,149
I promptly informed the adjutant of my transfer

5622
03:18:48,149 --> 03:18:48,950
from the 12th

5623
03:18:48,950 --> 03:18:50,251
to the ninth veterans,

5624
03:18:50,251 --> 03:18:53,087
as ordered by the Duke of York, and writing

5625
03:18:53,087 --> 03:18:54,656
following his instructions,

5626
03:18:54,656 --> 03:18:57,225
I was directed to one of the old barrack rooms.

5627
03:18:57,225 --> 03:18:59,460
Little did I anticipate the challenges

5628
03:18:59,460 --> 03:19:00,728
that awaited me,

5629
03:19:00,728 --> 03:19:03,765
all the joy I had previously experienced seemed

5630
03:19:03,765 --> 03:19:07,201
to be merely a prelude to the fiery trials ahead.

5631
03:19:07,201 --> 03:19:09,203
I found myself surrounded by men

5632
03:19:09,203 --> 03:19:10,438
who were starkly different

5633
03:19:10,438 --> 03:19:12,807
from those in the 22nd Regiment,

5634
03:19:12,807 --> 03:19:15,043
a stark contrast indeed.

5635
03:19:15,043 --> 03:19:16,144
Among these soldiers,

5636
03:19:16,144 --> 03:19:17,445
I encountered individuals

5637
03:19:17,445 --> 03:19:19,647
who were unreasonable and ungodly,

5638
03:19:19,647 --> 03:19:22,183
seemingly devoid of the fear of God.

5639
03:19:22,183 --> 03:19:25,053
They appeared to embody incarnate devils,

5640
03:19:25,053 --> 03:19:28,222
boasting of their experiences in wars and battles.

5641
03:19:28,222 --> 03:19:31,359
I observed that men who engage in such exploits,

5642
03:19:31,359 --> 03:19:32,727
if not touched by grace,

5643
03:19:32,727 --> 03:19:34,362
to subdue their ferocious spirit

5644
03:19:34,362 --> 03:19:37,966
and violent tendencies, become hardened in wickedness,

5645
03:19:37,966 --> 03:19:40,868
valiantly serving the devil in their own lusts.

5646
03:19:40,868 --> 03:19:43,604
Amidst this challenging environment, I wrestled

5647
03:19:43,604 --> 03:19:44,906
with the question,

5648
03:19:44,906 --> 03:19:47,508
how could I serve God in such a place?

5649
03:19:47,508 --> 03:19:49,444
Yet I found solace in the Lord,

5650
03:19:49,444 --> 03:19:51,446
reminding myself that just as he had

5651
03:19:51,446 --> 03:19:54,916
kept lot in Sodom, he could sustain me here.

5652
03:19:54,916 --> 03:19:57,819
Seeking to maintain my faith in secret.

5653
03:19:57,819 --> 03:19:59,520
I read my Bible in my birth

5654
03:19:59,520 --> 03:20:00,655
and occasionally retreated

5655
03:20:00,655 --> 03:20:02,724
behind closed doors to pray.

5656
03:20:02,724 --> 03:20:05,326
One man in particular observed my actions

5657
03:20:05,326 --> 03:20:06,394
and approached me,

5658
03:20:06,394 --> 03:20:09,063
expressing an interest in my prayers.

5659
03:20:09,063 --> 03:20:11,432
Shortly thereafter, on a Sabbath morning,

5660
03:20:11,432 --> 03:20:12,700
several of my comrades

5661
03:20:12,700 --> 03:20:14,402
arose to clean their firearms

5662
03:20:14,402 --> 03:20:16,738
and prepare their equipment for guard duty.

5663
03:20:16,738 --> 03:20:19,807
They went about their task, whistling and singing,

5664
03:20:19,807 --> 03:20:22,777
while some indulged in cursing and swearing.

5665
03:20:22,777 --> 03:20:25,413
I was lying in my bed, awake till I could stand it

5666
03:20:25,413 --> 03:20:26,881
no longer.

5667
03:20:26,881 --> 03:20:28,783
I knew it was no use speaking to them,

5668
03:20:28,783 --> 03:20:31,953
as they were unreasonable and would not hear me.

5669
03:20:31,953 --> 03:20:33,254
I put on my great coat

5670
03:20:33,254 --> 03:20:35,423
and went into the middle of the barrack room

5671
03:20:35,423 --> 03:20:37,158
and kneeled down at a form,

5672
03:20:37,158 --> 03:20:38,359
lifting up my heart

5673
03:20:38,359 --> 03:20:40,862
and my hand to God in heaven in prayer,

5674
03:20:40,862 --> 03:20:42,497
telling him there conduct

5675
03:20:42,497 --> 03:20:44,999
in what a state sin had brought them to,

5676
03:20:44,999 --> 03:20:47,301
and what a miserable life they lived

5677
03:20:47,301 --> 03:20:50,071
in the consequence of such a life, to endure

5678
03:20:50,071 --> 03:20:53,408
God's wrath and curse in hellfire forever.

5679
03:20:53,408 --> 03:20:54,475
My heart was broken

5680
03:20:54,475 --> 03:20:56,677
and full of grief for their wickedness.

5681
03:20:56,677 --> 03:20:58,246
I have been on the mighty ocean

5682
03:20:58,246 --> 03:21:00,181
where the waves were swelling high,

5683
03:21:00,181 --> 03:21:01,649
and I declare their conduct

5684
03:21:01,649 --> 03:21:03,518
was just like the troubled sea.

5685
03:21:03,518 --> 03:21:04,719
When it cannot rest.

5686
03:21:04,719 --> 03:21:07,522
Whose waters cast up mire and dirt.

5687
03:21:07,522 --> 03:21:09,991
I continued praying until they became dumb,

5688
03:21:09,991 --> 03:21:11,726
and there was a calm in the barrack room

5689
03:21:11,726 --> 03:21:13,561
for a considerable time after that,

5690
03:21:13,561 --> 03:21:16,831
just as when Jesus rebuked the winds in the sea,

5691
03:21:16,831 --> 03:21:18,633
and there was a great calm,

5692
03:21:18,633 --> 03:21:20,301
I was obliged to live among them,

5693
03:21:20,301 --> 03:21:21,936
and could say, like David

5694
03:21:21,936 --> 03:21:24,138
O, that I had wings like a dove.

5695
03:21:24,138 --> 03:21:27,275
For then would I fly away and be at rest

5696
03:21:27,275 --> 03:21:28,176
another morning?

5697
03:21:28,176 --> 03:21:29,343
Soon after that

5698
03:21:29,343 --> 03:21:30,545
I got up out of my bed

5699
03:21:30,545 --> 03:21:32,280
and was putting on my great coat

5700
03:21:32,280 --> 03:21:35,483
when the Lord spoke to me, I heard the same words.

5701
03:21:35,483 --> 03:21:38,052
He spoke to Paul as recorded in the acts.

5702
03:21:38,052 --> 03:21:42,223
Be not afraid, but speak, and hold not thy peace,

5703
03:21:42,223 --> 03:21:45,259
for I am with thee, and no man shall set on thee

5704
03:21:45,259 --> 03:21:46,260
to hurt thee,

5705
03:21:46,260 --> 03:21:48,896
and thine ears shall hear a word behind thee.

5706
03:21:48,896 --> 03:21:50,731
I know few will believe it,

5707
03:21:50,731 --> 03:21:52,433
but what I have to write is that

5708
03:21:52,433 --> 03:21:54,302
unless I had got that authority,

5709
03:21:54,302 --> 03:21:56,070
I never could have been able to stand

5710
03:21:56,070 --> 03:21:58,005
all the persecutions from men

5711
03:21:58,005 --> 03:21:59,540
and rage of devils,

5712
03:21:59,540 --> 03:22:02,243
and discouragement from the people of God.

5713
03:22:02,243 --> 03:22:05,012
But I conferred not with flesh and blood.

5714
03:22:05,012 --> 03:22:06,914
That is the account that I give for

5715
03:22:06,914 --> 03:22:08,649
all the fortitude and courage

5716
03:22:08,649 --> 03:22:10,818
that I had in obeying the command.

5717
03:22:10,818 --> 03:22:14,055
And if God had not commanded me and sent me,

5718
03:22:14,055 --> 03:22:16,824
I never should have spoken publicly in the streets,

5719
03:22:16,824 --> 03:22:19,260
nor in the castle. Among the soldiers.

5720
03:22:19,260 --> 03:22:20,461
I would to God that

5721
03:22:20,461 --> 03:22:22,330
every minister had the same assurance

5722
03:22:22,330 --> 03:22:23,764
that he was sent by the Lord

5723
03:22:23,764 --> 03:22:27,635
to preach the gospel, as had that poor, unworthy,

5724
03:22:27,635 --> 03:22:31,205
ignorant, and unlearned old veteran Robert Flockhart.

5725
03:22:31,205 --> 03:22:32,840
I do not say that this is God's

5726
03:22:32,840 --> 03:22:35,309
general way to call men such as I am,

5727
03:22:35,309 --> 03:22:37,612
but he taught me experimentally, as he taught

5728
03:22:37,612 --> 03:22:39,013
John Bunyan.

5729
03:22:39,013 --> 03:22:41,616
God is not confined to fixed methods.

5730
03:22:41,616 --> 03:22:43,818
Sometimes, to accomplish his purpose,

5731
03:22:43,818 --> 03:22:46,053
he goes out of his usual way.

5732
03:22:46,053 --> 03:22:48,422
When I mounted guard, I reprove sin

5733
03:22:48,422 --> 03:22:50,224
and preach Christ and salvation

5734
03:22:50,224 --> 03:22:52,293
from sin through his blood.

5735
03:22:52,293 --> 03:22:53,694
I found by experience

5736
03:22:53,694 --> 03:22:55,596
that it was the right way to separate me

5737
03:22:55,596 --> 03:22:57,632
from their sinful conversation,

5738
03:22:57,632 --> 03:23:01,169
and to bring me nearer to the captain of my salvation.

5739
03:23:01,169 --> 03:23:03,571
They used to watch my conduct and would ask me

5740
03:23:03,571 --> 03:23:06,874
questions and seek to entangle me in my talk.

5741
03:23:06,874 --> 03:23:09,410
But the Lord had blessed me with two ears

5742
03:23:09,410 --> 03:23:10,411
and only one tongue.

5743
03:23:10,411 --> 03:23:12,613
Swift to hear, slow to speak.

5744
03:23:12,613 --> 03:23:14,348
I had to choose my words.

5745
03:23:14,348 --> 03:23:17,185
I thought of the words, we are from God.

5746
03:23:17,185 --> 03:23:19,086
Whoever knows God listens to us.

5747
03:23:19,086 --> 03:23:22,023
Whoever is not from God does not listen to us.

5748
03:23:22,023 --> 03:23:22,690
By this

5749
03:23:22,690 --> 03:23:26,027
we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error.

5750
03:23:26,027 --> 03:23:27,762
It was very painful to my mind

5751
03:23:27,762 --> 03:23:30,031
that they would make me as one of themselves,

5752
03:23:30,031 --> 03:23:30,965
and I was no better.

5753
03:23:30,965 --> 03:23:33,401
It was true in one sense of the word.

5754
03:23:33,401 --> 03:23:35,603
It was God that made the difference.

5755
03:23:35,603 --> 03:23:37,939
By the grace of God, I was different

5756
03:23:37,939 --> 03:23:40,174
and lived a different life from what they did

5757
03:23:40,174 --> 03:23:42,176
and from what I once did.

5758
03:23:42,176 --> 03:23:43,578
We used to parade every morning

5759
03:23:43,578 --> 03:23:45,079
in the old barrack square,

5760
03:23:45,079 --> 03:23:47,181
and the adjutant used to drill us,

5761
03:23:47,181 --> 03:23:50,218
and when he drilled us, he used to curse and swear.

5762
03:23:50,218 --> 03:23:50,785
One day,

5763
03:23:50,785 --> 03:23:52,086
after he dismissed us,

5764
03:23:52,086 --> 03:23:53,454
I went to him respectfully

5765
03:23:53,454 --> 03:23:55,056
with uncovered arms,

5766
03:23:55,056 --> 03:23:56,023
and I told him

5767
03:23:56,023 --> 03:23:57,558
that I was grieved to hear him

5768
03:23:57,558 --> 03:24:00,061
utter such language out of his lips,

5769
03:24:00,061 --> 03:24:03,264
and that it did no good to him, but corrupted others.

5770
03:24:03,264 --> 03:24:04,966
And that God has said,

5771
03:24:04,966 --> 03:24:07,068
thou shalt not take the name of the Lord

5772
03:24:07,068 --> 03:24:08,469
thy God in vain.

5773
03:24:08,469 --> 03:24:09,136
For the Lord

5774
03:24:09,136 --> 03:24:10,705
will not hold him guiltless

5775
03:24:10,705 --> 03:24:14,175
that taketh his name in vain, and swear not at all.

5776
03:24:14,175 --> 03:24:16,110
He seemed to be condemned in his conscience,

5777
03:24:16,110 --> 03:24:18,879
and said he would try and not do it again.

5778
03:24:18,879 --> 03:24:20,514
But he actually did it again.

5779
03:24:20,514 --> 03:24:22,216
And I went the second time to him,

5780
03:24:22,216 --> 03:24:24,518
and repeated the reproof in the same manner,

5781
03:24:24,518 --> 03:24:26,487
and he turned very angry

5782
03:24:26,487 --> 03:24:27,288
some mornings

5783
03:24:27,288 --> 03:24:29,090
the soldiers used to be an hour there

5784
03:24:29,090 --> 03:24:30,524
before the parade began,

5785
03:24:30,524 --> 03:24:31,626
and they met in groups

5786
03:24:31,626 --> 03:24:33,728
of about a dozen in different places,

5787
03:24:33,728 --> 03:24:36,063
talking about the battles they had fought

5788
03:24:36,063 --> 03:24:38,099
and the victories they had won.

5789
03:24:38,099 --> 03:24:40,201
I was there as soon as they were,

5790
03:24:40,201 --> 03:24:41,535
and I opened my mouth

5791
03:24:41,535 --> 03:24:43,804
and lifted up my voice like a trumpet

5792
03:24:43,804 --> 03:24:45,640
and showed them their sins.

5793
03:24:45,640 --> 03:24:47,708
Cry aloud, spare not.

5794
03:24:47,708 --> 03:24:49,910
Lift up thy voice like a trumpet,

5795
03:24:49,910 --> 03:24:50,911
and show my people

5796
03:24:50,911 --> 03:24:53,514
their transgression in the house of Jacob.

5797
03:24:53,514 --> 03:24:54,882
Their sins.

5798
03:24:54,882 --> 03:24:55,583
I did that

5799
03:24:55,583 --> 03:24:57,151
faithfully and fearlessly,

5800
03:24:57,151 --> 03:24:59,654
and shut up all their refuges but one.

5801
03:24:59,654 --> 03:25:00,721
And that was Jesus,

5802
03:25:00,721 --> 03:25:02,323
who is a hiding place

5803
03:25:02,323 --> 03:25:05,126
from the wind, and a covert from the tempest.

5804
03:25:05,126 --> 03:25:07,862
The groups broke up and came round about me

5805
03:25:07,862 --> 03:25:10,765
and heard me, and I made the square ring.

5806
03:25:10,765 --> 03:25:13,067
One morning, to my astonishment,

5807
03:25:13,067 --> 03:25:14,902
the adjutant ordered me immediately

5808
03:25:14,902 --> 03:25:16,771
to be confined in the black hole

5809
03:25:16,771 --> 03:25:18,339
which is just above the arch.

5810
03:25:18,339 --> 03:25:19,940
As you enter the castle

5811
03:25:19,940 --> 03:25:21,275
there is an iron plate now

5812
03:25:21,275 --> 03:25:23,477
to prevent the prisoners looking through,

5813
03:25:23,477 --> 03:25:24,245
but there was none.

5814
03:25:24,245 --> 03:25:26,213
Then I could look through

5815
03:25:26,213 --> 03:25:29,183
and preach and pray and sing.

5816
03:25:29,183 --> 03:25:31,652
And I gathered a great congregation below,

5817
03:25:31,652 --> 03:25:33,854
who looked at me with astonishment.

5818
03:25:33,854 --> 03:25:37,024
The commanding officer was coming by and heard me,

5819
03:25:37,024 --> 03:25:39,894
and ordered me immediately to be released

5820
03:25:39,894 --> 03:25:40,695
next morning.

5821
03:25:40,695 --> 03:25:42,430
I was earlier in the barrack square

5822
03:25:42,430 --> 03:25:45,533
and repeated preaching, and had a greater congregation

5823
03:25:45,533 --> 03:25:46,901
than I had before,

5824
03:25:46,901 --> 03:25:49,503
and they listened with greater attention.

5825
03:25:49,503 --> 03:25:52,273
The Perth militia were in the castle at that time,

5826
03:25:52,273 --> 03:25:54,909
and their officers and noncommissioned officers

5827
03:25:54,909 --> 03:25:57,878
and privates came to hear me instead of the black hole

5828
03:25:57,878 --> 03:26:00,815
putting the fire out, it made it shine brighter.

5829
03:26:00,815 --> 03:26:02,249
I had more courage

5830
03:26:02,249 --> 03:26:05,052
and was more bold the second time than the first.

5831
03:26:05,052 --> 03:26:08,823
I say that to the glory of him that sent me to preach

5832
03:26:08,823 --> 03:26:12,193
the adjutant gun on my preaching a second time,

5833
03:26:12,193 --> 03:26:14,462
sent me away to the black hole again.

5834
03:26:14,462 --> 03:26:17,398
The men that used to persecute me when they saw me

5835
03:26:17,398 --> 03:26:18,499
put in the second time,

5836
03:26:18,499 --> 03:26:21,669
said, we will not persecute Robert anymore.

5837
03:26:21,669 --> 03:26:24,105
We see the root of the matter is in him.

5838
03:26:24,105 --> 03:26:26,207
I was in the black hole on a Sabbath day,

5839
03:26:26,207 --> 03:26:27,541
and there were a number of thoughtless

5840
03:26:27,541 --> 03:26:28,109
young men

5841
03:26:28,109 --> 03:26:29,844
and young women that came into the castle

5842
03:26:29,844 --> 03:26:31,612
to hear the Perth band play,

5843
03:26:31,612 --> 03:26:32,580
and I could see them

5844
03:26:32,580 --> 03:26:34,749
through the stanchions of my window.

5845
03:26:34,749 --> 03:26:36,550
My heart was in right tune,

5846
03:26:36,550 --> 03:26:39,787
and I began to sing a sweet, melodious hymn or psalm

5847
03:26:39,787 --> 03:26:42,723
that arrested their attention and astonished them.

5848
03:26:42,723 --> 03:26:45,793
After I had done singing, I prayed a few words,

5849
03:26:45,793 --> 03:26:47,161
telling the Lord their sin

5850
03:26:47,161 --> 03:26:48,963
and breaking the Sabbath day

5851
03:26:48,963 --> 03:26:52,800
by coming to hear carnal music on carnal instruments.

5852
03:26:52,800 --> 03:26:55,503
As far as I recollect, I prayed that the Lord

5853
03:26:55,503 --> 03:26:58,739
might captivate their minds with heavenly music.

5854
03:26:58,739 --> 03:27:01,909
Then I preached to them and did not spare them.

5855
03:27:01,909 --> 03:27:03,477
I studied to open their wounds

5856
03:27:03,477 --> 03:27:05,613
before I applied the plaster.

5857
03:27:05,613 --> 03:27:07,882
The next day, I was still in the same place

5858
03:27:07,882 --> 03:27:09,583
when the commanding officer,

5859
03:27:09,583 --> 03:27:12,052
major Rose, came into the castle,

5860
03:27:12,052 --> 03:27:14,488
and the Lord gave me favor in his eyes.

5861
03:27:14,488 --> 03:27:15,856
The parade fell in

5862
03:27:15,856 --> 03:27:16,323
and major

5863
03:27:16,323 --> 03:27:18,459
Rose ordered me to be released

5864
03:27:18,459 --> 03:27:20,261
and brought me out before the regiment.

5865
03:27:20,261 --> 03:27:23,264
In the adjutant and said to me, Robert,

5866
03:27:23,264 --> 03:27:24,865
what is the reason you have now

5867
03:27:24,865 --> 03:27:27,368
been twice a prisoner in the black hole?

5868
03:27:27,368 --> 03:27:28,803
I replied, please,

5869
03:27:28,803 --> 03:27:30,805
your honor, before the parade drum beat

5870
03:27:30,805 --> 03:27:32,640
the men of the regiment met in troops

5871
03:27:32,640 --> 03:27:34,508
and were telling the wars they were at

5872
03:27:34,508 --> 03:27:35,976
and the battles they had fought

5873
03:27:35,976 --> 03:27:38,145
and the victories they had won.

5874
03:27:38,145 --> 03:27:39,680
I could have done the same,

5875
03:27:39,680 --> 03:27:41,582
but I had better news to tell them.

5876
03:27:41,582 --> 03:27:42,716
If they took liberty

5877
03:27:42,716 --> 03:27:45,553
to tell news about the world and the wars,

5878
03:27:45,553 --> 03:27:46,987
will you not give me liberty

5879
03:27:46,987 --> 03:27:48,956
to tell good news from heaven?

5880
03:27:48,956 --> 03:27:51,659
Yes, Robert, you have my liberty.

5881
03:27:51,659 --> 03:27:54,462
This was before the adjutant in the regiment.

5882
03:27:54,462 --> 03:27:56,096
I asked the commanding officer

5883
03:27:56,096 --> 03:27:58,466
if he would allow me to go through the barracks

5884
03:27:58,466 --> 03:28:01,669
to take the Bible with me, to read the scriptures

5885
03:28:01,669 --> 03:28:02,937
and to pray.

5886
03:28:02,937 --> 03:28:04,238
He said, Robert,

5887
03:28:04,238 --> 03:28:08,142
you have my leave when duty does not interfere.

5888
03:28:08,142 --> 03:28:09,410
Another time the chaplain of

5889
03:28:09,410 --> 03:28:11,378
the castle was in the barracks square.

5890
03:28:11,378 --> 03:28:14,114
The officers encouraged me to speak to him,

5891
03:28:14,114 --> 03:28:15,182
and I went.

5892
03:28:15,182 --> 03:28:16,984
You are the chaplain of the castle

5893
03:28:16,984 --> 03:28:19,887
and especially of the ninth Veteran Battalion.

5894
03:28:19,887 --> 03:28:21,956
When we are formed into a square,

5895
03:28:21,956 --> 03:28:23,491
occasionally you preach to us

5896
03:28:23,491 --> 03:28:25,493
as if we were all Christians.

5897
03:28:25,493 --> 03:28:27,261
If you knew the men as well as I do,

5898
03:28:27,261 --> 03:28:28,195
you would warn them,

5899
03:28:28,195 --> 03:28:29,864
as did the prophet Ezekiel,

5900
03:28:29,864 --> 03:28:31,765
who received the word from God.

5901
03:28:31,765 --> 03:28:33,868
And God set him to be as a watchman

5902
03:28:33,868 --> 03:28:35,836
to warn the house of Israel.

5903
03:28:35,836 --> 03:28:38,138
Now you have this regiment under your charge,

5904
03:28:38,138 --> 03:28:40,541
and they are the worst men I ever knew.

5905
03:28:40,541 --> 03:28:43,677
I can compare them to nothing but incarnate devils.

5906
03:28:43,677 --> 03:28:46,013
It is by their fruits they are known.

5907
03:28:46,013 --> 03:28:47,581
You should have lifted up your voice

5908
03:28:47,581 --> 03:28:49,650
and cried aloud, and spared not,

5909
03:28:49,650 --> 03:28:51,051
and shown them their sins

5910
03:28:51,051 --> 03:28:52,887
and the miserable life they lived,

5911
03:28:52,887 --> 03:28:54,421
and that the end of such a life

5912
03:28:54,421 --> 03:28:56,524
will be everlasting punishment.

5913
03:28:56,524 --> 03:28:59,660
You should lead them to Christ, who died for sinners,

5914
03:28:59,660 --> 03:29:00,661
and rose again,

5915
03:29:00,661 --> 03:29:03,931
and is now exalted as a prince and a Savior,

5916
03:29:03,931 --> 03:29:05,833
for to give repentance to Israel

5917
03:29:05,833 --> 03:29:07,801
and forgiveness of sins.

5918
03:29:07,801 --> 03:29:09,036
Now when you do that,

5919
03:29:09,036 --> 03:29:10,971
if the sinner dies in his iniquity,

5920
03:29:10,971 --> 03:29:13,173
thou hast delivered thy soul.

5921
03:29:13,173 --> 03:29:16,477
But if you do not from God, warn him to save his life,

5922
03:29:16,477 --> 03:29:19,480
the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity,

5923
03:29:19,480 --> 03:29:22,349
but his blood will I require at thine hand.

5924
03:29:22,349 --> 03:29:23,951
The commanding officer was present,

5925
03:29:23,951 --> 03:29:26,554
and heard me speaking these words to the chaplain.

5926
03:29:26,554 --> 03:29:29,890
He said, Robert, what part of the Bible is that in?

5927
03:29:29,890 --> 03:29:33,360
I replied, it is in two places in Ezekiel

5928
03:29:33,360 --> 03:29:38,165
317 to 19, and in Ezekiel 33 7 to 9.

5929
03:29:38,165 --> 03:29:39,700
Robert, he said,

5930
03:29:39,700 --> 03:29:43,170
I will look at my Bible when I go home.

5931
03:29:43,170 --> 03:29:43,671
Now, Mr.

5932
03:29:43,671 --> 03:29:46,640
Crawford, the chaplain, had not a word to say,

5933
03:29:46,640 --> 03:29:47,841
and all the officers

5934
03:29:47,841 --> 03:29:50,210
and men seemed to be well pleased,

5935
03:29:50,210 --> 03:29:51,745
except the adjutant.

5936
03:29:51,745 --> 03:29:53,213
When I think of it now,

5937
03:29:53,213 --> 03:29:55,549
I am astonished that I had such boldness

5938
03:29:55,549 --> 03:29:57,551
and such liberty of speech,

5939
03:29:57,551 --> 03:29:59,587
and worn them so faithfully.

5940
03:29:59,587 --> 03:30:02,056
It was not I, but the Lord that commanded me

5941
03:30:02,056 --> 03:30:04,758
to speak with authority, because he sent me,

5942
03:30:04,758 --> 03:30:08,162
and I knew it to his adorable, exalted name

5943
03:30:08,162 --> 03:30:09,697
be all the glory.

5944
03:30:09,697 --> 03:30:10,531
I must confess

5945
03:30:10,531 --> 03:30:13,300
that though I did all that he commanded me,

5946
03:30:13,300 --> 03:30:15,469
I should be an unprofitable servant.

5947
03:30:15,469 --> 03:30:18,839
What I did or suffered would not atone for one sin.

5948
03:30:18,839 --> 03:30:21,375
I rest entirely on the satisfaction and merits

5949
03:30:21,375 --> 03:30:23,077
of the Lord Jesus Christ,

5950
03:30:23,077 --> 03:30:26,480
and I pray that he may wash my person and services

5951
03:30:26,480 --> 03:30:28,349
in his most precious blood,

5952
03:30:28,349 --> 03:30:31,185
and accept the same to the praise of his grace.

5953
03:30:31,185 --> 03:30:35,656
Glory be to the father, son, and Holy Ghost, one God.

5954
03:30:35,656 --> 03:30:36,590
I was in the castle

5955
03:30:36,590 --> 03:30:37,091
at the time

5956
03:30:37,091 --> 03:30:38,492
the three men were executed

5957
03:30:38,492 --> 03:30:40,861
on account of the New Year's Day riot.

5958
03:30:40,861 --> 03:30:43,197
I had then newly joined the ninth veterans.

5959
03:30:43,197 --> 03:30:44,798
I got acquainted with the quartermaster

5960
03:30:44,798 --> 03:30:47,101
Sergeant, Shook Lodge and his wife.

5961
03:30:47,101 --> 03:30:49,503
We went on our knees in prayer at the throne of grace

5962
03:30:49,503 --> 03:30:51,505
and earnestly interceded for the three men.

5963
03:30:51,505 --> 03:30:53,407
At the time they were on the scaffold,

5964
03:30:53,407 --> 03:30:54,675
the bridge was drawn,

5965
03:30:54,675 --> 03:30:56,944
and the gates of the castle were shut,

5966
03:30:56,944 --> 03:30:58,512
and the guns were manned to be ready

5967
03:30:58,512 --> 03:30:59,580
in case of a riot,

5968
03:30:59,580 --> 03:31:00,547
and not a soldier

5969
03:31:00,547 --> 03:31:03,083
was permitted to go out till all was over.

5970
03:31:03,083 --> 03:31:05,886
Blessed be the Lord in his wise providence

5971
03:31:05,886 --> 03:31:07,921
he brought good out of that evil.

5972
03:31:07,921 --> 03:31:09,957
That was about 40 years ago,

5973
03:31:09,957 --> 03:31:12,026
and there has never been a New Year's Day riot

5974
03:31:12,026 --> 03:31:13,627
like that since.

5975
03:31:13,627 --> 03:31:16,263
After being awakened and alarmed about my sin

5976
03:31:16,263 --> 03:31:18,432
and misery and danger,

5977
03:31:18,432 --> 03:31:21,769
and after finding peace with God, I made a conscience

5978
03:31:21,769 --> 03:31:22,936
of having family prayer

5979
03:31:22,936 --> 03:31:25,406
twice a day in the castle of Edinburgh.

5980
03:31:25,406 --> 03:31:27,274
I was obliged to be in the barracks,

5981
03:31:27,274 --> 03:31:29,143
and I still continued my practice.

5982
03:31:29,143 --> 03:31:30,210
There.

5983
03:31:30,210 --> 03:31:32,913
I said to the men in the barrack room one morning,

5984
03:31:32,913 --> 03:31:34,982
now I am going to have worship.

5985
03:31:34,982 --> 03:31:36,984
If any of you are inclined to join me,

5986
03:31:36,984 --> 03:31:38,986
you are heartily welcome.

5987
03:31:38,986 --> 03:31:40,187
I began with singing

5988
03:31:40,187 --> 03:31:42,856
and reading the Word of God in prayer

5989
03:31:42,856 --> 03:31:44,358
as I was singing the hymn Lord.

5990
03:31:44,358 --> 03:31:45,893
And am I still alive?

5991
03:31:45,893 --> 03:31:47,561
Not in torments, not in hell.

5992
03:31:47,561 --> 03:31:49,830
Still doth thy good spirits strive.

5993
03:31:49,830 --> 03:31:52,199
With the chief of sinners. Dwell.

5994
03:31:52,199 --> 03:31:56,236
Tell it on to sinners tell I am, I am out of hell.

5995
03:31:56,236 --> 03:31:57,137
My back was towards

5996
03:31:57,137 --> 03:31:58,806
the door, and I was standing on my feet.

5997
03:31:58,806 --> 03:32:00,641
When a man came behind me.

5998
03:32:00,641 --> 03:32:03,143
I looked and saw that it was the gunner of the castle

5999
03:32:03,143 --> 03:32:04,812
who kept the canteen.

6000
03:32:04,812 --> 03:32:05,579
All of a sudden

6001
03:32:05,579 --> 03:32:07,881
he struck me with his fist behind the right ear

6002
03:32:07,881 --> 03:32:08,916
and knocked me down,

6003
03:32:08,916 --> 03:32:11,618
and my head lighted on the fender of the fireplace,

6004
03:32:11,618 --> 03:32:14,288
which took my senses away for a time.

6005
03:32:14,288 --> 03:32:15,723
When I came to myself,

6006
03:32:15,723 --> 03:32:16,790
I stood up,

6007
03:32:16,790 --> 03:32:18,225
and all the men of the Barret cried

6008
03:32:18,225 --> 03:32:20,828
shame on the gunner, and told me to go and report him.

6009
03:32:20,828 --> 03:32:21,962
No, said I,

6010
03:32:21,962 --> 03:32:23,297
I will pray for him,

6011
03:32:23,297 --> 03:32:25,866
and I continued the worship till it was over.

6012
03:32:25,866 --> 03:32:26,767
I was informed

6013
03:32:26,767 --> 03:32:28,235
a little time after that

6014
03:32:28,235 --> 03:32:30,804
the man had no peace in his mind.

6015
03:32:30,804 --> 03:32:33,040
He went down to New Haven when the tide was full

6016
03:32:33,040 --> 03:32:34,808
and drowned himself in the sea.

6017
03:32:34,808 --> 03:32:36,477
I thought of that passage.

6018
03:32:36,477 --> 03:32:38,011
Vengeance is mine.

6019
03:32:38,011 --> 03:32:39,980
I will repay, saith the Lord.

6020
03:32:39,980 --> 03:32:41,582
But I still persevered,

6021
03:32:41,582 --> 03:32:43,917
notwithstanding all I met with.

6022
03:32:43,917 --> 03:32:46,587
There is one thing I must not omit to name.

6023
03:32:46,587 --> 03:32:48,122
When I came to the castle,

6024
03:32:48,122 --> 03:32:50,557
Doctor Stewart lived in George Square.

6025
03:32:50,557 --> 03:32:51,992
He inquired for me,

6026
03:32:51,992 --> 03:32:52,693
and as I did

6027
03:32:52,693 --> 03:32:54,895
not happen to be in the barrack at the time,

6028
03:32:54,895 --> 03:32:57,731
he left his address for me to call on him that night

6029
03:32:57,731 --> 03:32:59,466
and take tea with him.

6030
03:32:59,466 --> 03:33:00,801
Carries Baptist mission.

6031
03:33:00,801 --> 03:33:01,335
Sent home

6032
03:33:01,335 --> 03:33:03,570
periodical accounts from Calcutta

6033
03:33:03,570 --> 03:33:05,973
concerning the work of our Lord in India,

6034
03:33:05,973 --> 03:33:07,007
and he saw my name

6035
03:33:07,007 --> 03:33:09,943
there in the 21st periodical account.

6036
03:33:09,943 --> 03:33:12,679
I went that same night at the hour appointed,

6037
03:33:12,679 --> 03:33:14,281
and the late doctor that Mr.

6038
03:33:14,281 --> 03:33:15,682
Innes was there.

6039
03:33:15,682 --> 03:33:16,583
They used to read,

6040
03:33:16,583 --> 03:33:18,752
as I mentioned, the periodical accounts,

6041
03:33:18,752 --> 03:33:19,553
and that night

6042
03:33:19,553 --> 03:33:20,954
I was a living witness

6043
03:33:20,954 --> 03:33:24,091
and a proof of the success of Careys Baptist mission.

6044
03:33:24,091 --> 03:33:25,592
We had a sweet conversation,

6045
03:33:25,592 --> 03:33:26,894
and they were both highly delighted

6046
03:33:26,894 --> 03:33:28,962
to see one that came from Bengal,

6047
03:33:28,962 --> 03:33:29,863
and who informed them

6048
03:33:29,863 --> 03:33:32,699
what he saw and felt and enjoyed.

6049
03:33:32,699 --> 03:33:33,066
Mr.

6050
03:33:33,066 --> 03:33:35,536
Innes invited me to his church on the Lord's Day

6051
03:33:35,536 --> 03:33:37,905
and I went in my regimental clothes.

6052
03:33:37,905 --> 03:33:40,374
He introduced me to the church when assembled

6053
03:33:40,374 --> 03:33:41,241
and said,

6054
03:33:41,241 --> 03:33:43,277
here is a brother come from Bengal

6055
03:33:43,277 --> 03:33:44,678
who was baptized by Mr.

6056
03:33:44,678 --> 03:33:46,713
Ward in the church of Calcutta,

6057
03:33:46,713 --> 03:33:48,382
and he requested me to pray,

6058
03:33:48,382 --> 03:33:50,551
and I was not backward to do so.

6059
03:33:50,551 --> 03:33:52,019
My heart at the same time

6060
03:33:52,019 --> 03:33:53,620
was full of grief for my old sins

6061
03:33:53,620 --> 03:33:55,222
that I had repented of,

6062
03:33:55,222 --> 03:33:57,825
and full of my first love to our Lord and Savior

6063
03:33:57,825 --> 03:33:59,059
Jesus Christ,

6064
03:33:59,059 --> 03:34:02,296
because he forgave me and wash me in his blood

6065
03:34:02,296 --> 03:34:03,664
and gave me His Spirit

6066
03:34:03,664 --> 03:34:07,234
to witness with my spirit that I was a child of God.

6067
03:34:07,234 --> 03:34:08,135
All Edinburgh

6068
03:34:08,135 --> 03:34:10,170
has since that seen more than 40 years

6069
03:34:10,170 --> 03:34:11,471
evidence of this.

6070
03:34:11,471 --> 03:34:12,005
To him

6071
03:34:12,005 --> 03:34:13,440
be all the praise,

6072
03:34:13,440 --> 03:34:16,543
and to me the shame and confusion of face.

6073
03:34:16,543 --> 03:34:17,744
When I was in the castle

6074
03:34:17,744 --> 03:34:19,713
I was obliged to sleep in the barrack,

6075
03:34:19,713 --> 03:34:21,048
where the soldiers often

6076
03:34:21,048 --> 03:34:21,815
broke the laws,

6077
03:34:21,815 --> 03:34:25,319
both of God and man, by introducing bad company.

6078
03:34:25,319 --> 03:34:27,287
I could not endure this abomination.

6079
03:34:27,287 --> 03:34:28,222
So one night,

6080
03:34:28,222 --> 03:34:30,090
when the sergeant came to put out the light

6081
03:34:30,090 --> 03:34:33,026
after the roll call, I told him to do his duty.

6082
03:34:33,026 --> 03:34:33,660
I knew that

6083
03:34:33,660 --> 03:34:34,761
if he refused

6084
03:34:34,761 --> 03:34:37,764
and I reported him, he should be brought to account.

6085
03:34:37,764 --> 03:34:40,434
The sergeant enforce the rule, and the men hated me

6086
03:34:40,434 --> 03:34:41,768
for what I had done,

6087
03:34:41,768 --> 03:34:43,871
but I did not regard their hatred.

6088
03:34:43,871 --> 03:34:44,905
It was for me to do

6089
03:34:44,905 --> 03:34:46,807
what my blessed Lord commanded me

6090
03:34:46,807 --> 03:34:48,842
and not countenance sin.

6091
03:34:48,842 --> 03:34:51,245
He said they hated me without a cause,

6092
03:34:51,245 --> 03:34:54,248
because he testified that their works were evil.

6093
03:34:54,248 --> 03:34:57,117
When I came to Edinburgh, I was inclined to join Mr.

6094
03:34:57,117 --> 03:35:00,754
Anderson's church, which met then in Richmond Court.

6095
03:35:00,754 --> 03:35:01,188
Mr.

6096
03:35:01,188 --> 03:35:02,356
Anderson and all the church

6097
03:35:02,356 --> 03:35:04,258
seemed to be delighted with me for a while.

6098
03:35:04,258 --> 03:35:06,960
As I came from the Baptist church at Calcutta.

6099
03:35:06,960 --> 03:35:09,563
I thought the members were all perfect Christians.

6100
03:35:09,563 --> 03:35:11,265
They had a prayer meeting once a week

6101
03:35:11,265 --> 03:35:14,268
and they asked me to pray among them in my prayers.

6102
03:35:14,268 --> 03:35:16,270
I generally showed the object of my prayer

6103
03:35:16,270 --> 03:35:19,439
God the Father, seated on a throne of grace,

6104
03:35:19,439 --> 03:35:21,441
the way of access to him

6105
03:35:21,441 --> 03:35:24,711
through the incarnation of His Son, in his active

6106
03:35:24,711 --> 03:35:26,313
and passive obedience,

6107
03:35:26,313 --> 03:35:29,082
and his resurrection and ascension to glory.

6108
03:35:29,082 --> 03:35:31,652
Our need of Christ's blood and righteousness,

6109
03:35:31,652 --> 03:35:34,054
and of the aid of the eternal Spirit.

6110
03:35:34,054 --> 03:35:35,222
In that through Christ

6111
03:35:35,222 --> 03:35:38,191
we have access by one spirit unto the father.

6112
03:35:38,191 --> 03:35:39,793
Then, making a hearty confession

6113
03:35:39,793 --> 03:35:43,530
of our original and actual sins, I plead earnestly

6114
03:35:43,530 --> 03:35:44,998
for the forgiveness of them all

6115
03:35:44,998 --> 03:35:46,900
through the blood of the atonement.

6116
03:35:46,900 --> 03:35:49,202
About this time the words that God spake

6117
03:35:49,202 --> 03:35:51,805
after he made man came into my mind.

6118
03:35:51,805 --> 03:35:54,808
It is not good for the man to be alone.

6119
03:35:54,808 --> 03:35:58,745
I was a single man, and was about 35 years of age.

6120
03:35:58,745 --> 03:36:00,914
I saw in the book of Proverbs

6121
03:36:00,914 --> 03:36:03,383
that a prudent wife is from the Lord.

6122
03:36:03,383 --> 03:36:06,253
I made prayer and supplication unto the Lord,

6123
03:36:06,253 --> 03:36:07,754
that if it was his will,

6124
03:36:07,754 --> 03:36:10,791
he would direct me to one such as I have mentioned.

6125
03:36:10,791 --> 03:36:13,093
I was to use the means in the person

6126
03:36:13,093 --> 03:36:15,595
whom the Lord appointed for me was to consent,

6127
03:36:15,595 --> 03:36:18,031
and if I asked any that he had not appointed,

6128
03:36:18,031 --> 03:36:19,733
she was to say no.

6129
03:36:19,733 --> 03:36:22,369
There were no less than three that I spoke to,

6130
03:36:22,369 --> 03:36:23,670
and they all refused.

6131
03:36:23,670 --> 03:36:25,772
But the fourth consented.

6132
03:36:25,772 --> 03:36:26,940
After I was married,

6133
03:36:26,940 --> 03:36:29,176
she told me that she herself had prayed that

6134
03:36:29,176 --> 03:36:30,510
if it was the Lord's will

6135
03:36:30,510 --> 03:36:32,012
that she should change her life,

6136
03:36:32,012 --> 03:36:34,848
he would give her a praying husband or none at all.

6137
03:36:34,848 --> 03:36:36,550
After we were a little while married,

6138
03:36:36,550 --> 03:36:38,285
she burst into tears of joy

6139
03:36:38,285 --> 03:36:40,287
and said she had got her request.

6140
03:36:40,287 --> 03:36:42,656
She had prayed for a praying husband

6141
03:36:42,656 --> 03:36:43,557
and had got one,

6142
03:36:43,557 --> 03:36:46,326
sent her all the way from the East Indies.

6143
03:36:46,326 --> 03:36:49,463
I had thus the pleasure of having a praying wife,

6144
03:36:49,463 --> 03:36:51,198
and we both gave thanks to the Lord

6145
03:36:51,198 --> 03:36:53,033
for answering prayers.

6146
03:36:53,033 --> 03:36:55,736
I thought that being believers, if we acknowledge

6147
03:36:55,736 --> 03:36:59,039
God in all our ways, he would direct our steps.

6148
03:36:59,039 --> 03:37:01,041
I had another object in marrying

6149
03:37:01,041 --> 03:37:02,342
those men that were married,

6150
03:37:02,342 --> 03:37:02,976
had permission

6151
03:37:02,976 --> 03:37:04,511
to live out of the castle

6152
03:37:04,511 --> 03:37:07,447
in the town, away from the soldiers.

6153
03:37:07,447 --> 03:37:10,717
I was sick of being among such characters and was like

6154
03:37:10,717 --> 03:37:14,254
lot vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked

6155
03:37:14,254 --> 03:37:15,922
from day to day.

6156
03:37:15,922 --> 03:37:17,124
We got a quiet house

6157
03:37:17,124 --> 03:37:18,291
where we could worship God

6158
03:37:18,291 --> 03:37:20,527
without any to make us afraid.

6159
03:37:20,527 --> 03:37:22,963
This was in the year 1813.

6160
03:37:22,963 --> 03:37:25,165
I still continued preaching in the castle

6161
03:37:25,165 --> 03:37:26,933
whenever I had an opportunity,

6162
03:37:26,933 --> 03:37:29,236
and the adjutant could not endure it.

6163
03:37:29,236 --> 03:37:30,137
Such of the ninth

6164
03:37:30,137 --> 03:37:31,805
veterans, as were unmarried men,

6165
03:37:31,805 --> 03:37:33,540
were to be sent to Shetland,

6166
03:37:33,540 --> 03:37:34,408
and he thought he would

6167
03:37:34,408 --> 03:37:37,110
then get rid of me by sending me there.

6168
03:37:37,110 --> 03:37:39,513
He said when the regiment was on parade,

6169
03:37:39,513 --> 03:37:41,048
that the unmarried soldiers

6170
03:37:41,048 --> 03:37:43,083
were to step out of the ranks.

6171
03:37:43,083 --> 03:37:45,786
When he saw me standing still among the married,

6172
03:37:45,786 --> 03:37:48,021
he said, what, Flockhart?

6173
03:37:48,021 --> 03:37:51,024
I thought your religion did not permit you to marry,

6174
03:37:51,024 --> 03:37:54,327
I replied with emphasis in that passage

6175
03:37:54,327 --> 03:37:56,396
in Hebrews 13 verse four,

6176
03:37:56,396 --> 03:37:59,733
marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled,

6177
03:37:59,733 --> 03:38:03,036
but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

6178
03:38:03,036 --> 03:38:05,205
When he heard that he was horror stricken,

6179
03:38:05,205 --> 03:38:06,807
having a switch in his hand,

6180
03:38:06,807 --> 03:38:08,475
he struck his boot with it,

6181
03:38:08,475 --> 03:38:10,510
and, turning on his heel, said,

6182
03:38:10,510 --> 03:38:12,579
I have been in many parts of the world,

6183
03:38:12,579 --> 03:38:15,082
and I never met with anyone that could beat me

6184
03:38:15,082 --> 03:38:17,117
till I met with Robert Flockhart,

6185
03:38:17,117 --> 03:38:19,386
and he would beat the very devil.

6186
03:38:19,386 --> 03:38:22,789
All the men burst out into laughter and laughed at him

6187
03:38:22,789 --> 03:38:24,391
most heartily.

6188
03:38:24,391 --> 03:38:26,159
Every time I mounted guard,

6189
03:38:26,159 --> 03:38:28,595
men would come some to revile me

6190
03:38:28,595 --> 03:38:30,730
and some to ask me questions

6191
03:38:30,730 --> 03:38:32,065
that they might have to accuse

6192
03:38:32,065 --> 03:38:34,501
me, and others would scoff at me.

6193
03:38:34,501 --> 03:38:35,802
I saw the necessity

6194
03:38:35,802 --> 03:38:37,671
of having the wisdom of the serpent

6195
03:38:37,671 --> 03:38:39,739
and the harmlessness of the dove,

6196
03:38:39,739 --> 03:38:42,075
and I believe the Lord gave it to me in a measure

6197
03:38:42,075 --> 03:38:43,810
because I prayed for it

6198
03:38:43,810 --> 03:38:46,580
sometimes also, I had occasion, like David,

6199
03:38:46,580 --> 03:38:49,483
to hold my peace when the wicked were before me.

6200
03:38:49,483 --> 03:38:50,317
One memorable

6201
03:38:50,317 --> 03:38:51,318
occasion stands out

6202
03:38:51,318 --> 03:38:53,620
when my wife brought my tea to the guardhouse.

6203
03:38:53,620 --> 03:38:55,322
As I prepared to partake,

6204
03:38:55,322 --> 03:38:57,824
the corporal of the guard began to mock me.

6205
03:38:57,824 --> 03:39:00,660
Inspired by the example of Paul, I chose to give

6206
03:39:00,660 --> 03:39:02,529
thanks in the presence of all.

6207
03:39:02,529 --> 03:39:05,765
Recalling the passage where Paul took bread, gave

6208
03:39:05,765 --> 03:39:09,202
thanks to God, and broke it before eating.

6209
03:39:09,202 --> 03:39:10,937
Remarkably, the words of my prayer

6210
03:39:10,937 --> 03:39:12,906
seem to deeply affect the corporal.

6211
03:39:12,906 --> 03:39:14,307
He later confided in me

6212
03:39:14,307 --> 03:39:17,177
that he left the guardhouse and wept profusely.

6213
03:39:17,177 --> 03:39:19,746
This encounter marked a turning point for him

6214
03:39:19,746 --> 03:39:21,781
as he underwent a profound conversion

6215
03:39:21,781 --> 03:39:22,516
and eventually

6216
03:39:22,516 --> 03:39:23,583
played a pivotal role

6217
03:39:23,583 --> 03:39:25,819
in his wife's conversion, as well.

6218
03:39:25,819 --> 03:39:28,355
I maintained a close friendship with him in Edinburgh

6219
03:39:28,355 --> 03:39:29,923
for many years thereafter,

6220
03:39:29,923 --> 03:39:31,658
until the day of his passing.

6221
03:39:31,658 --> 03:39:32,526
He held me in high

6222
03:39:32,526 --> 03:39:35,028
regard and expressed regret for the persecution

6223
03:39:35,028 --> 03:39:37,230
he had once inflicted upon me.

6224
03:39:37,230 --> 03:39:39,232
During my shifts on the main guard at night

6225
03:39:39,232 --> 03:39:42,369
I often preach to the men, prompting some to wish that

6226
03:39:42,369 --> 03:39:43,870
I were always on sentry duty

6227
03:39:43,870 --> 03:39:45,939
to spare them from my preaching.

6228
03:39:45,939 --> 03:39:48,608
Despite the challenges I faced among them,

6229
03:39:48,608 --> 03:39:50,110
I felt compelled by the Lord

6230
03:39:50,110 --> 03:39:52,212
to confront their sins boldly.

6231
03:39:52,212 --> 03:39:54,114
With a voice like a trumpet.

6232
03:39:54,114 --> 03:39:57,150
I warn them of the dire consequences of their actions,

6233
03:39:57,150 --> 03:40:00,554
citing passages such as Psalm 917,

6234
03:40:00,554 --> 03:40:02,189
which speaks of the fate of the wicked

6235
03:40:02,189 --> 03:40:04,257
being turned into hell, and Psalm

6236
03:40:04,257 --> 03:40:08,261
11 six, which describes God raining snares, fire,

6237
03:40:08,261 --> 03:40:11,965
brimstone, and a horrible tempest upon the wicked.

6238
03:40:11,965 --> 03:40:13,733
I sought to impress upon them

6239
03:40:13,733 --> 03:40:15,802
the gravity of their situation

6240
03:40:15,802 --> 03:40:18,171
and the urgent need for repentance.

6241
03:40:18,171 --> 03:40:20,907
Recognizing their awakening, I turned my focus

6242
03:40:20,907 --> 03:40:24,511
to preaching Christ crucified, the core of our faith.

6243
03:40:24,511 --> 03:40:26,279
I expounded on his resurrection

6244
03:40:26,279 --> 03:40:29,549
from the dead in Ascension to glory, emphasizing

6245
03:40:29,549 --> 03:40:30,450
his current role

6246
03:40:30,450 --> 03:40:33,420
seated at the right hand of the Majesty on high

6247
03:40:33,420 --> 03:40:36,289
as the mediator between God and humanity,

6248
03:40:36,289 --> 03:40:39,459
he offers repentance and forgiveness of sins,

6249
03:40:39,459 --> 03:40:43,029
serving as the author and finisher of our faith.

6250
03:40:43,029 --> 03:40:45,899
I stress the importance of seeking the salvation

6251
03:40:45,899 --> 03:40:46,566
through prescribed

6252
03:40:46,566 --> 03:40:49,836
means, diligent study of the scriptures,

6253
03:40:49,836 --> 03:40:50,637
earnest prayer

6254
03:40:50,637 --> 03:40:53,573
akin to that of the publican and the prodigal son,

6255
03:40:53,573 --> 03:40:56,710
and attentive listening to faithful sermons.

6256
03:40:56,710 --> 03:41:00,614
Understanding the critical role of faith in salvation,

6257
03:41:00,614 --> 03:41:01,881
I reminded them

6258
03:41:01,881 --> 03:41:05,418
that faith comes through hearing the Word of God.

6259
03:41:05,418 --> 03:41:08,288
Amidst the temptations to stray from my faith,

6260
03:41:08,288 --> 03:41:09,422
I remained resolute

6261
03:41:09,422 --> 03:41:11,491
in upholding the banner of the cross.

6262
03:41:11,491 --> 03:41:13,793
With the grace of the Lord's sustaining me,

6263
03:41:13,793 --> 03:41:15,095
I persisted in sharing

6264
03:41:15,095 --> 03:41:17,497
the transformative message of the gospel,

6265
03:41:17,497 --> 03:41:20,133
whether in moments of ease or adversity,

6266
03:41:20,133 --> 03:41:23,236
I hold firm to the belief that through God's blessing,

6267
03:41:23,236 --> 03:41:23,903
my efforts

6268
03:41:23,903 --> 03:41:27,841
bore fruit, touching hearts and transforming lives.

6269
03:41:27,841 --> 03:41:28,875
Within the castle

6270
03:41:28,875 --> 03:41:31,778
there stood a small tower accessible by stairs.

6271
03:41:31,778 --> 03:41:34,714
This humble tower became a sanctuary for me,

6272
03:41:34,714 --> 03:41:38,551
a place of spiritual solace and communion with God.

6273
03:41:38,551 --> 03:41:41,588
I would often retreat there, spending hours in prayer,

6274
03:41:41,588 --> 03:41:44,658
meditation, and the study of Scripture.

6275
03:41:44,658 --> 03:41:48,295
Despite facing intense persecution and trials,

6276
03:41:48,295 --> 03:41:51,531
I sought divine support and blessing for my endeavors,

6277
03:41:51,531 --> 03:41:53,667
praying for courage and strength

6278
03:41:53,667 --> 03:41:55,602
which the Lord graciously bestowed

6279
03:41:55,602 --> 03:41:58,171
upon me in his boundless love.

6280
03:41:58,171 --> 03:41:59,606
During my off duty hours,

6281
03:41:59,606 --> 03:42:02,409
I had the freedom to pursue my trade as a smith.

6282
03:42:02,409 --> 03:42:03,877
One of the shops where I worked

6283
03:42:03,877 --> 03:42:06,112
was situated in the heart of the Nether Bow,

6284
03:42:06,112 --> 03:42:08,281
accessible via a stairwell.

6285
03:42:08,281 --> 03:42:09,482
In the midst of my labor,

6286
03:42:09,482 --> 03:42:11,851
I didn't hesitate to confront my fellow workers

6287
03:42:11,851 --> 03:42:15,689
about their swearing, drinking, and misconduct,

6288
03:42:15,689 --> 03:42:18,224
while I earnestly warned them of the consequence

6289
03:42:18,224 --> 03:42:20,360
of their actions in the hereafter.

6290
03:42:20,360 --> 03:42:22,329
I consistently directed their attention

6291
03:42:22,329 --> 03:42:23,997
to Jesus Christ.

6292
03:42:23,997 --> 03:42:26,833
On Saturdays, when we received our wages,

6293
03:42:26,833 --> 03:42:28,802
it was customary for the men to gather

6294
03:42:28,802 --> 03:42:30,036
at the local tavern

6295
03:42:30,036 --> 03:42:32,972
to exchange money and indulge in drinks.

6296
03:42:32,972 --> 03:42:34,407
Despite their insistence,

6297
03:42:34,407 --> 03:42:37,077
I steadfastly declined their invitations.

6298
03:42:37,077 --> 03:42:39,979
Consequently, they deducted sixpence from my wages

6299
03:42:39,979 --> 03:42:42,449
and spent it on alcohol for themselves.

6300
03:42:42,449 --> 03:42:44,150
Though I objected to my earnings

6301
03:42:44,150 --> 03:42:46,052
being used for such purposes,

6302
03:42:46,052 --> 03:42:48,621
it was an established practice among them.

6303
03:42:48,621 --> 03:42:50,156
When I preached to my master

6304
03:42:50,156 --> 03:42:52,525
and he threatened to kick me downstairs,

6305
03:42:52,525 --> 03:42:55,395
I decided to leave and seek employment elsewhere.

6306
03:42:55,395 --> 03:42:56,596
I found work with Mr.

6307
03:42:56,596 --> 03:42:57,330
Gilroy,

6308
03:42:57,330 --> 03:43:00,066
who had a shop located at the rear of the castle.

6309
03:43:00,066 --> 03:43:00,934
While working there,

6310
03:43:00,934 --> 03:43:02,469
I continued to boldly proclaim

6311
03:43:02,469 --> 03:43:04,704
my beliefs without reservation.

6312
03:43:04,704 --> 03:43:07,540
One particular individual reacted to my preaching

6313
03:43:07,540 --> 03:43:09,376
with extreme hostility.

6314
03:43:09,376 --> 03:43:10,744
He became so enraged

6315
03:43:10,744 --> 03:43:12,645
that he appeared to be in a frenzy,

6316
03:43:12,645 --> 03:43:14,447
foaming at the mouth as he brandished

6317
03:43:14,447 --> 03:43:16,583
a shovel and threatened to strike me.

6318
03:43:16,583 --> 03:43:18,451
Despite the imminent danger,

6319
03:43:18,451 --> 03:43:21,654
I stood my ground and faced him without flinching.

6320
03:43:21,654 --> 03:43:24,791
Only by the grace of the Lord was I spared from harm,

6321
03:43:24,791 --> 03:43:28,228
as it seemed he was on the verge of striking me down.

6322
03:43:28,228 --> 03:43:30,096
A colleague of mine, Mckeller,

6323
03:43:30,096 --> 03:43:32,265
who was part of the ninth Veteran Battalion,

6324
03:43:32,265 --> 03:43:35,635
was notably hostile towards me during an incident.

6325
03:43:35,635 --> 03:43:38,304
He lost his temper and hit me on the cheek.

6326
03:43:38,304 --> 03:43:39,639
Instead of fighting back,

6327
03:43:39,639 --> 03:43:41,641
I chose to offer the other cheek,

6328
03:43:41,641 --> 03:43:44,177
surprising those who saw what happened.

6329
03:43:44,177 --> 03:43:45,545
This choice to respond with

6330
03:43:45,545 --> 03:43:47,747
nonviolence had a more profound effect

6331
03:43:47,747 --> 03:43:49,682
than if I had acted aggressively,

6332
03:43:49,682 --> 03:43:51,451
showcasing the strength of grace

6333
03:43:51,451 --> 03:43:52,485
in helping me

6334
03:43:52,485 --> 03:43:55,789
remain calm and steadfast in a difficult situation.

6335
03:43:55,789 --> 03:43:57,724
Following this unsettling incident,

6336
03:43:57,724 --> 03:44:00,794
the adjutant, hesitant to bring me into the castle,

6337
03:44:00,794 --> 03:44:02,762
assigned me to duty at Blackness Castle.

6338
03:44:02,762 --> 03:44:03,897
Instead.

6339
03:44:03,897 --> 03:44:05,498
This formidable old fortress

6340
03:44:05,498 --> 03:44:06,966
stands on a rock extending

6341
03:44:06,966 --> 03:44:08,401
into the Firth of Forth,

6342
03:44:08,401 --> 03:44:11,204
roughly four miles north of Linlithgow.

6343
03:44:11,204 --> 03:44:13,773
It's hard to imagine a more dreary place,

6344
03:44:13,773 --> 03:44:16,810
home to a dreadful dungeon that's as deep and dark as

6345
03:44:16,810 --> 03:44:20,380
one could envision, reminiscent of hell itself,

6346
03:44:20,380 --> 03:44:21,381
reflecting often

6347
03:44:21,381 --> 03:44:22,315
upon the depths of that

6348
03:44:22,315 --> 03:44:24,551
dismal dungeon and Blackness castle

6349
03:44:24,551 --> 03:44:26,886
from which no escape seemed possible.

6350
03:44:26,886 --> 03:44:29,756
I marveled at my own comparative fortune,

6351
03:44:29,756 --> 03:44:30,957
my thoughts frequently

6352
03:44:30,957 --> 03:44:33,092
turned to the many noble Covenanters,

6353
03:44:33,092 --> 03:44:34,894
including the devout Welsh

6354
03:44:34,894 --> 03:44:36,062
who endured their days

6355
03:44:36,062 --> 03:44:38,898
in such a place filled with despair.

6356
03:44:38,898 --> 03:44:41,868
Welsh during his confinement, wrote to a friend,

6357
03:44:41,868 --> 03:44:43,102
expressing gratitude

6358
03:44:43,102 --> 03:44:46,473
that despite being enveloped in utter darkness,

6359
03:44:46,473 --> 03:44:48,741
he did not find himself in a spiritual void,

6360
03:44:48,741 --> 03:44:49,943
devoid of light.

6361
03:44:49,943 --> 03:44:52,545
There, among others of the ninth veterans,

6362
03:44:52,545 --> 03:44:54,848
a godly officer took charge.

6363
03:44:54,848 --> 03:44:57,150
He welcomed my presence warmly.

6364
03:44:57,150 --> 03:45:00,887
This officer, a father to 2 or 3 daughters, invited me

6365
03:45:00,887 --> 03:45:02,822
to share the scriptures with them,

6366
03:45:02,822 --> 03:45:05,792
an invitation I accepted with joy.

6367
03:45:05,792 --> 03:45:07,393
Upon returning to the barracks,

6368
03:45:07,393 --> 03:45:09,696
I found the men indulging in their monthly earnings.

6369
03:45:09,696 --> 03:45:11,264
Lost in drink.

6370
03:45:11,264 --> 03:45:12,932
They greeted me with curiosity

6371
03:45:12,932 --> 03:45:14,601
about news from Edinburgh.

6372
03:45:14,601 --> 03:45:16,936
My response, rooted in Scripture,

6373
03:45:16,936 --> 03:45:18,938
was a solemn reminder of the fate

6374
03:45:18,938 --> 03:45:21,474
awaiting those who stray from righteousness,

6375
03:45:21,474 --> 03:45:23,776
including those given to drunkenness.

6376
03:45:23,776 --> 03:45:25,545
This sobering message ensured

6377
03:45:25,545 --> 03:45:27,380
they held me in regard, yet

6378
03:45:27,380 --> 03:45:28,414
it also underscored

6379
03:45:28,414 --> 03:45:28,982
the distance

6380
03:45:28,982 --> 03:45:32,418
between their actions and my own path in the barracks.

6381
03:45:32,418 --> 03:45:35,522
A kind gentleman offered me and my wife his own bed,

6382
03:45:35,522 --> 03:45:37,357
which was secluded by curtains,

6383
03:45:37,357 --> 03:45:39,726
suggesting a swap with mine.

6384
03:45:39,726 --> 03:45:41,895
We were thankful for his generosity.

6385
03:45:41,895 --> 03:45:43,863
This man, distinct from the others,

6386
03:45:43,863 --> 03:45:45,131
would quietly join us

6387
03:45:45,131 --> 03:45:46,533
for prayers every morning

6388
03:45:46,533 --> 03:45:50,537
and evening, creating a small but united group.

6389
03:45:50,537 --> 03:45:53,106
Despite the harsh treatment from some soldiers

6390
03:45:53,106 --> 03:45:54,974
who went as far as throwing stones at me

6391
03:45:54,974 --> 03:45:58,545
during my prayers, my commitment didn't waver.

6392
03:45:58,545 --> 03:46:00,313
I made efforts to guide them away

6393
03:46:00,313 --> 03:46:03,650
from their harmful behaviors, offering gentle advice

6394
03:46:03,650 --> 03:46:04,651
and encouragement

6395
03:46:04,651 --> 03:46:06,853
rooted in the teachings of the Bible,

6396
03:46:06,853 --> 03:46:07,620
urging them

6397
03:46:07,620 --> 03:46:10,857
to seek refuge in Christ from impending judgment.

6398
03:46:10,857 --> 03:46:11,624
One evening,

6399
03:46:11,624 --> 03:46:13,426
as I sat by the fire, reading aloud

6400
03:46:13,426 --> 03:46:15,328
a sermon by Christopher Love

6401
03:46:15,328 --> 03:46:16,462
based on the Scripture,

6402
03:46:16,462 --> 03:46:17,664
but rather fear him,

6403
03:46:17,664 --> 03:46:20,400
which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

6404
03:46:20,400 --> 03:46:22,302
From Matthew 1028.

6405
03:46:22,302 --> 03:46:26,039
My words provoked a violent reaction from one man

6406
03:46:26,039 --> 03:46:27,307
overwhelmed by anger.

6407
03:46:27,307 --> 03:46:30,343
He kicked me, causing injury to my mouth.

6408
03:46:30,343 --> 03:46:32,912
Additionally, another troublesome individual

6409
03:46:32,912 --> 03:46:34,714
known for his profanity

6410
03:46:34,714 --> 03:46:36,849
frequently attempted to block my access

6411
03:46:36,849 --> 03:46:39,519
to a quiet place for prayer and reflection.

6412
03:46:39,519 --> 03:46:42,221
However, when I confronted him physically

6413
03:46:42,221 --> 03:46:44,257
asserting my determination,

6414
03:46:44,257 --> 03:46:46,225
he ceased to be a disturbance.

6415
03:46:46,225 --> 03:46:46,960
In an effort

6416
03:46:46,960 --> 03:46:48,761
to make the most of my days,

6417
03:46:48,761 --> 03:46:51,030
I minimize my time in the barracks.

6418
03:46:51,030 --> 03:46:52,231
I was fortunate enough

6419
03:46:52,231 --> 03:46:54,300
to become friends with a civilian couple

6420
03:46:54,300 --> 03:46:56,135
living in a nearby village,

6421
03:46:56,135 --> 03:46:59,005
who kindly offered their home as a refuge for my wife

6422
03:46:59,005 --> 03:47:00,607
during my travels,

6423
03:47:00,607 --> 03:47:02,875
they, being devout themselves,

6424
03:47:02,875 --> 03:47:05,011
warmly supported my mission

6425
03:47:05,011 --> 03:47:06,279
to spread the gospel

6426
03:47:06,279 --> 03:47:08,348
throughout the neighboring regions.

6427
03:47:08,348 --> 03:47:10,016
Embarking on my journey,

6428
03:47:10,016 --> 03:47:12,452
I first visited the town of blackness,

6429
03:47:12,452 --> 03:47:15,955
where I preached freely without facing any resistance.

6430
03:47:15,955 --> 03:47:16,623
My mission

6431
03:47:16,623 --> 03:47:18,257
then led me to Linlithgow,

6432
03:47:18,257 --> 03:47:21,194
where I continued my efforts with the same zeal.

6433
03:47:21,194 --> 03:47:23,763
For approximately a month to six weeks,

6434
03:47:23,763 --> 03:47:25,765
I traveled from village to village,

6435
03:47:25,765 --> 03:47:28,134
keenly aware of the spiritual apathy

6436
03:47:28,134 --> 03:47:30,003
that had settled over the area.

6437
03:47:30,003 --> 03:47:30,737
I was driven

6438
03:47:30,737 --> 03:47:33,172
by the belief that a true minister must stir

6439
03:47:33,172 --> 03:47:34,641
the spiritual realm,

6440
03:47:34,641 --> 03:47:37,810
even to the point of confronting its darkness.

6441
03:47:37,810 --> 03:47:39,412
However, my activities soon

6442
03:47:39,412 --> 03:47:40,146
caught the attention

6443
03:47:40,146 --> 03:47:42,448
of the local authorities in Linlithgow.

6444
03:47:42,448 --> 03:47:43,983
They issued a stern warning

6445
03:47:43,983 --> 03:47:46,285
to the military command in blackness.

6446
03:47:46,285 --> 03:47:48,087
If I were to preach there again,

6447
03:47:48,087 --> 03:47:49,622
I would be imprisoned.

6448
03:47:49,622 --> 03:47:51,024
The commanding officer,

6449
03:47:51,024 --> 03:47:52,358
a man of faith himself,

6450
03:47:52,358 --> 03:47:54,027
relayed this message to me,

6451
03:47:54,027 --> 03:47:56,362
but left the decision in my hands

6452
03:47:56,362 --> 03:47:57,597
out of respect for him.

6453
03:47:57,597 --> 03:47:58,998
I initially chose to cease

6454
03:47:58,998 --> 03:48:00,566
my preaching in that area,

6455
03:48:00,566 --> 03:48:03,002
a decision I would later regret.

6456
03:48:03,002 --> 03:48:05,204
Seeking solitude and reflection,

6457
03:48:05,204 --> 03:48:08,408
I wandered along the seaside, cherishing the ample

6458
03:48:08,408 --> 03:48:11,644
time at my disposal for prayer and meditation.

6459
03:48:11,644 --> 03:48:12,912
During one such walk,

6460
03:48:12,912 --> 03:48:13,980
a sudden flight of birds

6461
03:48:13,980 --> 03:48:16,516
overhead veering into a lane to my left,

6462
03:48:16,516 --> 03:48:18,184
caught my attention.

6463
03:48:18,184 --> 03:48:20,920
Their unexpected direction seemed to beckon me,

6464
03:48:20,920 --> 03:48:22,622
igniting my curiosity

6465
03:48:22,622 --> 03:48:23,823
and leading me to ponder

6466
03:48:23,823 --> 03:48:26,492
the significance of birds in the scriptures.

6467
03:48:26,492 --> 03:48:28,695
I remembered the passage in Jerome,

6468
03:48:28,695 --> 03:48:29,962
but ask the beasts,

6469
03:48:29,962 --> 03:48:31,364
and they will teach you

6470
03:48:31,364 --> 03:48:34,300
the birds of the heavens, and they will tell you.

6471
03:48:34,300 --> 03:48:36,969
This verse seemed to guide me toward Linlithgow,

6472
03:48:36,969 --> 03:48:38,438
infusing me with the courage

6473
03:48:38,438 --> 03:48:41,541
to face the magistrate's threats without fear.

6474
03:48:41,541 --> 03:48:44,310
Emboldened, I made my way to this most public square

6475
03:48:44,310 --> 03:48:45,278
in Linlithgow,

6476
03:48:45,278 --> 03:48:48,548
starting with a hymn followed by prayer and preaching.

6477
03:48:48,548 --> 03:48:50,416
As was my custom,

6478
03:48:50,416 --> 03:48:53,486
I went afterwards to several places in the town.

6479
03:48:53,486 --> 03:48:56,089
I was anxious that all should hear my object

6480
03:48:56,089 --> 03:48:58,825
being the conversion of their souls to God through

6481
03:48:58,825 --> 03:48:59,959
Jesus Christ,

6482
03:48:59,959 --> 03:49:02,428
who opened up the way for them to come to God,

6483
03:49:02,428 --> 03:49:04,630
and for God to come to them.

6484
03:49:04,630 --> 03:49:06,799
I knew the value of their souls,

6485
03:49:06,799 --> 03:49:08,735
and that the virtue and power of Christ's

6486
03:49:08,735 --> 03:49:12,205
blood in righteousness is to remove the distance

6487
03:49:12,205 --> 03:49:14,040
and bring them nigh unto God

6488
03:49:14,040 --> 03:49:16,042
by the blood of his cross.

6489
03:49:16,042 --> 03:49:19,245
I hope that my labors in the Lord were not in vain,

6490
03:49:19,245 --> 03:49:20,446
though I do not see it.

6491
03:49:20,446 --> 03:49:22,882
Now it shall be seen at the day of judgment,

6492
03:49:22,882 --> 03:49:25,351
that not a grain of the wheat has been lost.

6493
03:49:25,351 --> 03:49:28,588
The magistrates of Linlithgow did not put me in jail.

6494
03:49:28,588 --> 03:49:29,722
They threatened me,

6495
03:49:29,722 --> 03:49:32,792
but I came away triumphantly with a glad heart.

6496
03:49:32,792 --> 03:49:34,026
A corporal was sent soon

6497
03:49:34,026 --> 03:49:35,828
after to tell me to come back again

6498
03:49:35,828 --> 03:49:42,034
to Edinburgh Castle. So I bade farewell to blackness.

6499
03:49:42,034 --> 03:49:43,436
Chapter ten.

6500
03:49:43,436 --> 03:49:45,671
Dragged from the pew,

6501
03:49:45,671 --> 03:49:49,408
I now come to share an experience that tested my faith

6502
03:49:49,408 --> 03:49:50,676
and revealed the complex

6503
03:49:50,676 --> 03:49:53,179
workings of divine Providence.

6504
03:49:53,179 --> 03:49:54,647
While I was a member of Mr.

6505
03:49:54,647 --> 03:49:56,549
Anderson's congregation,

6506
03:49:56,549 --> 03:49:58,718
a disagreement arose between us.

6507
03:49:58,718 --> 03:50:00,987
One day I shared with Mr.

6508
03:50:00,987 --> 03:50:03,089
Anderson how I had taken it upon myself

6509
03:50:03,089 --> 03:50:05,057
to speak to a soldier at the castle

6510
03:50:05,057 --> 03:50:06,793
about the importance of reflecting

6511
03:50:06,793 --> 03:50:08,728
on his spiritual well-being,

6512
03:50:08,728 --> 03:50:09,996
the judgment that awaits us

6513
03:50:09,996 --> 03:50:12,799
all, and the urgent need to seek Christ's guidance

6514
03:50:12,799 --> 03:50:14,033
for repentance.

6515
03:50:14,033 --> 03:50:14,400
Mr.

6516
03:50:14,400 --> 03:50:16,335
Anderson responded sharply,

6517
03:50:16,335 --> 03:50:18,337
questioning my authority to preach

6518
03:50:18,337 --> 03:50:20,506
without the church's formal approval.

6519
03:50:20,506 --> 03:50:22,275
I argued that seizing the moment

6520
03:50:22,275 --> 03:50:23,943
to speak on spiritual matters

6521
03:50:23,943 --> 03:50:26,245
shouldn't require prior permission,

6522
03:50:26,245 --> 03:50:28,080
as opportunities are fleeting

6523
03:50:28,080 --> 03:50:31,217
and the individual might not be encountered again.

6524
03:50:31,217 --> 03:50:32,752
This led to a significant rift

6525
03:50:32,752 --> 03:50:35,755
between us, and in his view, I became an outcast.

6526
03:50:35,755 --> 03:50:37,323
The situation escalated

6527
03:50:37,323 --> 03:50:39,125
when an anonymous letter was sent to Mr.

6528
03:50:39,125 --> 03:50:42,395
Anderson, for which he unjustly blamed me.

6529
03:50:42,395 --> 03:50:43,095
As a result,

6530
03:50:43,095 --> 03:50:45,665
he barred me from participating in communion,

6531
03:50:45,665 --> 03:50:47,900
a decision that deeply troubled me.

6532
03:50:47,900 --> 03:50:50,670
For weeks, I sought an explanation from him,

6533
03:50:50,670 --> 03:50:51,204
longing

6534
03:50:51,204 --> 03:50:54,807
to understand what I had done to merit such exclusion.

6535
03:50:54,807 --> 03:50:58,077
But my request for clarity were met with silence.

6536
03:50:58,077 --> 03:50:59,011
One Sabbath,

6537
03:50:59,011 --> 03:51:00,479
after feeling isolated

6538
03:51:00,479 --> 03:51:02,748
and filled with sorrow over my treatment,

6539
03:51:02,748 --> 03:51:04,317
I chose to openly express

6540
03:51:04,317 --> 03:51:06,152
my heartfelt prayers to the Lord

6541
03:51:06,152 --> 03:51:08,588
in the presence of the congregation.

6542
03:51:08,588 --> 03:51:10,256
Following the communion service

6543
03:51:10,256 --> 03:51:12,091
from which I was excluded.

6544
03:51:12,091 --> 03:51:13,359
My emotional plea

6545
03:51:13,359 --> 03:51:15,962
led many to leave the church in discomfort,

6546
03:51:15,962 --> 03:51:18,631
and I was eventually stopped by force.

6547
03:51:18,631 --> 03:51:19,432
Returning home,

6548
03:51:19,432 --> 03:51:21,100
I shared my ordeal with my wife

6549
03:51:21,100 --> 03:51:23,703
and together we turned to prayer and thanksgiving.

6550
03:51:23,703 --> 03:51:25,004
This act of shared faith

6551
03:51:25,004 --> 03:51:26,138
brought immense comfort

6552
03:51:26,138 --> 03:51:28,307
and peace to my troubled heart.

6553
03:51:28,307 --> 03:51:29,542
The following Sabbath,

6554
03:51:29,542 --> 03:51:32,111
after completing my duties at the castle,

6555
03:51:32,111 --> 03:51:33,880
I made my way directly to the church,

6556
03:51:33,880 --> 03:51:36,682
still donning the soldier's gray uniform.

6557
03:51:36,682 --> 03:51:39,452
Upon my arrival, I was met with resistance.

6558
03:51:39,452 --> 03:51:42,088
The church attendant refused me entry.

6559
03:51:42,088 --> 03:51:44,690
As I attempted to enter, some church members

6560
03:51:44,690 --> 03:51:47,994
forcibly removed me, dragging me to the ground,

6561
03:51:47,994 --> 03:51:48,928
and subsequently

6562
03:51:48,928 --> 03:51:52,064
took me to the local police station in Park Place.

6563
03:51:52,064 --> 03:51:54,834
They accused me of attempting to incite disturbance

6564
03:51:54,834 --> 03:51:58,671
within the church, an accusation I firmly denied.

6565
03:51:58,671 --> 03:52:00,806
The church members didn't stop there.

6566
03:52:00,806 --> 03:52:02,241
They extended their complaint

6567
03:52:02,241 --> 03:52:03,976
to my military superiors,

6568
03:52:03,976 --> 03:52:06,479
alleging my disruptive intentions.

6569
03:52:06,479 --> 03:52:07,313
In response,

6570
03:52:07,313 --> 03:52:09,782
the military dispatched a corporal and a guard

6571
03:52:09,782 --> 03:52:11,851
to transfer me from the police station

6572
03:52:11,851 --> 03:52:13,352
back to the castle,

6573
03:52:13,352 --> 03:52:16,455
where I was briefly detained in the guard house.

6574
03:52:16,455 --> 03:52:19,592
Fortunately, I wasn't held for long before an officer

6575
03:52:19,592 --> 03:52:21,093
ordered my release.

6576
03:52:21,093 --> 03:52:23,829
Yet the ordeal didn't end with my release.

6577
03:52:23,829 --> 03:52:25,598
My name was prominently displayed

6578
03:52:25,598 --> 03:52:26,999
at the castle's gate,

6579
03:52:26,999 --> 03:52:28,501
accompanied by a directive

6580
03:52:28,501 --> 03:52:30,603
barring my exit on the Sabbath.

6581
03:52:30,603 --> 03:52:32,905
This restriction deeply troubled me,

6582
03:52:32,905 --> 03:52:36,108
compounding my sense of isolation and grief.

6583
03:52:36,108 --> 03:52:38,911
Seeking solace, I retreated to a secluded spot

6584
03:52:38,911 --> 03:52:40,413
within the castle grounds,

6585
03:52:40,413 --> 03:52:43,049
where I poured out my heart to the Lord.

6586
03:52:43,049 --> 03:52:45,718
In my prayer, I clung to the promise call

6587
03:52:45,718 --> 03:52:47,119
upon me in the day of trouble

6588
03:52:47,119 --> 03:52:50,056
I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.

6589
03:52:50,056 --> 03:52:53,459
Over time, my peaceful demeanor and unwavering faith

6590
03:52:53,459 --> 03:52:55,661
garnered the attention of the officers.

6591
03:52:55,661 --> 03:52:59,131
The commanding officer, in particular, extended

6592
03:52:59,131 --> 03:52:59,732
his favor

6593
03:52:59,732 --> 03:53:00,633
towards me,

6594
03:53:00,633 --> 03:53:03,869
choosing to discount the allegations against me.

6595
03:53:03,869 --> 03:53:06,505
Ultimately, this act of kindness and understanding

6596
03:53:06,505 --> 03:53:08,307
restored my freedom.

6597
03:53:08,307 --> 03:53:10,109
I found solace for a while at Mr.

6598
03:53:10,109 --> 03:53:11,243
Eggman's church,

6599
03:53:11,243 --> 03:53:12,745
where the preaching of the gospel

6600
03:53:12,745 --> 03:53:15,314
provided comfort to my troubled spirit.

6601
03:53:15,314 --> 03:53:17,350
Later, I decided to explore the Methodist

6602
03:53:17,350 --> 03:53:19,352
gatherings in Nicholson Square.

6603
03:53:19,352 --> 03:53:20,453
Their services,

6604
03:53:20,453 --> 03:53:23,789
particularly their prayers, were vibrant and spirited,

6605
03:53:23,789 --> 03:53:26,058
though I sensed certain aspects of their teachings

6606
03:53:26,058 --> 03:53:26,993
did not fully align

6607
03:53:26,993 --> 03:53:29,462
with my understanding of sound doctrine.

6608
03:53:29,462 --> 03:53:31,030
An incident of note occurred

6609
03:53:31,030 --> 03:53:31,630
one Sabbath

6610
03:53:31,630 --> 03:53:34,033
morning before I eventually distance myself

6611
03:53:34,033 --> 03:53:35,201
from this group.

6612
03:53:35,201 --> 03:53:38,004
They had scheduled a prayer meeting for 7:00,

6613
03:53:38,004 --> 03:53:39,138
but when I arrived,

6614
03:53:39,138 --> 03:53:40,973
the appointed leaders had not yet

6615
03:53:40,973 --> 03:53:42,375
made their appearance.

6616
03:53:42,375 --> 03:53:43,142
Seeing this,

6617
03:53:43,142 --> 03:53:44,810
the attendees present gestured to me

6618
03:53:44,810 --> 03:53:46,612
to initiate the prayer.

6619
03:53:46,612 --> 03:53:47,513
As I was praying,

6620
03:53:47,513 --> 03:53:50,182
one of the Methodist class leaders entered the room

6621
03:53:50,182 --> 03:53:51,450
in an attempt to take over.

6622
03:53:51,450 --> 03:53:54,520
He interrupted me by starting to sing a hymn verse

6623
03:53:54,520 --> 03:53:56,288
and then began his own prayer.

6624
03:53:56,288 --> 03:53:58,357
However, I felt a strong conviction,

6625
03:53:58,357 --> 03:54:01,494
not to be silenced and continued my prayer.

6626
03:54:01,494 --> 03:54:04,697
My persistence seemed to resonate more strongly,

6627
03:54:04,697 --> 03:54:05,698
and eventually

6628
03:54:05,698 --> 03:54:07,800
the class leader ceased his efforts,

6629
03:54:07,800 --> 03:54:09,769
allowing me to finish.

6630
03:54:09,769 --> 03:54:10,536
After the prayer,

6631
03:54:10,536 --> 03:54:12,138
he confronted me, stating

6632
03:54:12,138 --> 03:54:14,340
I had no authority to lead the prayer.

6633
03:54:14,340 --> 03:54:16,242
I responded that had he arrived on time,

6634
03:54:16,242 --> 03:54:18,844
the need for me to start would not have arisen.

6635
03:54:18,844 --> 03:54:20,846
Following my time with the Methodists,

6636
03:54:20,846 --> 03:54:22,448
I was drawn to listen to Mr.

6637
03:54:22,448 --> 03:54:24,517
Gray at the old Chapel of Ease,

6638
03:54:24,517 --> 03:54:27,586
which was part of the West Church parish at that time.

6639
03:54:27,586 --> 03:54:29,955
He had not yet earned his doctoral title.

6640
03:54:29,955 --> 03:54:30,356
Mr.

6641
03:54:30,356 --> 03:54:32,558
gray was a preacher of fervent zeal,

6642
03:54:32,558 --> 03:54:35,361
and his sermons became the highlight of my Sabbaths.

6643
03:54:35,361 --> 03:54:36,362
In his dedication

6644
03:54:36,362 --> 03:54:38,030
he would remove his coat,

6645
03:54:38,030 --> 03:54:41,300
donned a pulpit cloak, and preach with such intensity

6646
03:54:41,300 --> 03:54:42,868
that he sweated profusely,

6647
03:54:42,868 --> 03:54:45,538
reminiscent of the renowned preacher Whitfield,

6648
03:54:45,538 --> 03:54:46,772
who famously remarked

6649
03:54:46,772 --> 03:54:50,009
that a pulpit sweat would heal the cold.

6650
03:54:50,009 --> 03:54:50,476
Mr.

6651
03:54:50,476 --> 03:54:51,343
gray attracted

6652
03:54:51,343 --> 03:54:52,511
a large congregation

6653
03:54:52,511 --> 03:54:55,014
that listened to him with great attention.

6654
03:54:55,014 --> 03:54:56,282
Eventually, Mr.

6655
03:54:56,282 --> 03:54:58,951
Gray was transferred to one of the city churches.

6656
03:54:58,951 --> 03:55:01,353
Doctor Gordon succeeded him at the chapel,

6657
03:55:01,353 --> 03:55:03,589
and I was there for his first sermon.

6658
03:55:03,589 --> 03:55:06,725
Unlike his predecessor, he did not read his sermons.

6659
03:55:06,725 --> 03:55:07,660
I found myself

6660
03:55:07,660 --> 03:55:10,496
increasingly drawn to Doctor Gordon's preaching,

6661
03:55:10,496 --> 03:55:11,997
appreciating his clarity

6662
03:55:11,997 --> 03:55:14,300
and adherence to scriptural doctrine.

6663
03:55:14,300 --> 03:55:17,636
Seeking deeper engagement, I visited him at his home

6664
03:55:17,636 --> 03:55:21,173
to express how his teachings enrich my spiritual life.

6665
03:55:21,173 --> 03:55:23,309
Despite identifying as a Baptist,

6666
03:55:23,309 --> 03:55:26,479
I expressed my willingness to join his congregation.

6667
03:55:26,479 --> 03:55:28,814
He shared with me his fondness for the Baptist,

6668
03:55:28,814 --> 03:55:29,815
mentioning Doctor

6669
03:55:29,815 --> 03:55:30,683
Stewart,

6670
03:55:30,683 --> 03:55:34,053
a Baptist from whom he had gained significant insight.

6671
03:55:34,053 --> 03:55:36,789
I remained with Doctor Gordon until his passing,

6672
03:55:36,789 --> 03:55:38,023
valuing the spiritual

6673
03:55:38,023 --> 03:55:43,329
nourishment his teachings provided.

6674
03:55:43,329 --> 03:55:45,164
Chapter 11

6675
03:55:45,164 --> 03:55:50,102
The Unseen Hand finding purpose in Morningside Asylum.

6676
03:55:50,102 --> 03:55:52,972
I'd like to revisit a topic I touched on earlier

6677
03:55:52,972 --> 03:55:54,340
during my time in the barracks

6678
03:55:54,340 --> 03:55:57,543
at the castle, surrounded by untamed individuals,

6679
03:55:57,543 --> 03:56:00,045
I experienced a profound moment.

6680
03:56:00,045 --> 03:56:02,815
I heard a voice from the Lord echoing the very words

6681
03:56:02,815 --> 03:56:04,483
one spoken to Paul

6682
03:56:04,483 --> 03:56:06,619
do not be afraid, but speak,

6683
03:56:06,619 --> 03:56:08,420
and do not hold your peace,

6684
03:56:08,420 --> 03:56:11,557
for I am with you, and no one will harm you.

6685
03:56:11,557 --> 03:56:13,826
This message was exactly what I needed.

6686
03:56:13,826 --> 03:56:15,060
Without his support,

6687
03:56:15,060 --> 03:56:16,262
I would not have been able

6688
03:56:16,262 --> 03:56:18,631
to withstand the trials that lay ahead

6689
03:56:18,631 --> 03:56:22,168
as will become clear from the challenges I faced,

6690
03:56:22,168 --> 03:56:25,571
I reflected on the Grassmarket as the ideal location

6691
03:56:25,571 --> 03:56:26,772
for my efforts,

6692
03:56:26,772 --> 03:56:29,141
recognizing it as the historical site

6693
03:56:29,141 --> 03:56:31,010
where martyrs met their end,

6694
03:56:31,010 --> 03:56:33,279
and also for the notorious reputation

6695
03:56:33,279 --> 03:56:34,980
of its inhabitants.

6696
03:56:34,980 --> 03:56:38,484
Their immorality, I reasoned, was even more profound

6697
03:56:38,484 --> 03:56:41,220
than what I had witnessed in the city of Calcutta.

6698
03:56:41,220 --> 03:56:43,722
Inspired by deep contemplation,

6699
03:56:43,722 --> 03:56:47,193
as if a fire had been lit within me, I ventured there

6700
03:56:47,193 --> 03:56:49,562
with the strength and clarity of a trumpet.

6701
03:56:49,562 --> 03:56:51,864
I raised my voice, held nothing back,

6702
03:56:51,864 --> 03:56:53,532
and confronted them with their sins

6703
03:56:53,532 --> 03:56:55,034
and the peril they faced.

6704
03:56:55,034 --> 03:56:58,170
Living in sin, I argued, was a dire state to be in.

6705
03:56:58,170 --> 03:56:59,738
Having experienced the profound

6706
03:56:59,738 --> 03:57:01,340
fear of the Lord myself,

6707
03:57:01,340 --> 03:57:04,743
I urgently advised them to escape the impending wrath

6708
03:57:04,743 --> 03:57:08,280
and introduce them to Christ in his many roles.

6709
03:57:08,280 --> 03:57:10,115
My passion was unmistakable.

6710
03:57:10,115 --> 03:57:12,051
My plea earnest.

6711
03:57:12,051 --> 03:57:13,652
Unexpectedly, Doctor Stewart

6712
03:57:13,652 --> 03:57:15,955
approached me during this fervent appeal

6713
03:57:15,955 --> 03:57:18,824
after checking my pulse and observing me closely,

6714
03:57:18,824 --> 03:57:19,425
a gesture

6715
03:57:19,425 --> 03:57:21,227
stemming from our previous interactions,

6716
03:57:21,227 --> 03:57:23,395
which had fostered mutual affection,

6717
03:57:23,395 --> 03:57:26,432
he persuaded me to accompany him, and I consented.

6718
03:57:26,432 --> 03:57:28,033
Doctor Stewart requested that I wait

6719
03:57:28,033 --> 03:57:29,835
briefly at the head of the West Port

6720
03:57:29,835 --> 03:57:31,136
while he visited my home

6721
03:57:31,136 --> 03:57:33,572
to inform my wife of his intentions.

6722
03:57:33,572 --> 03:57:35,908
This left me unaware of his plans.

6723
03:57:35,908 --> 03:57:38,611
Upon returning, he inquired if I would agree

6724
03:57:38,611 --> 03:57:39,645
to accompany someone

6725
03:57:39,645 --> 03:57:42,381
to a beautiful country house for a few days,

6726
03:57:42,381 --> 03:57:45,251
holding doctor Stewart in high regard and trusting him

6727
03:57:45,251 --> 03:57:47,853
both as a professional and a fellow Christian,

6728
03:57:47,853 --> 03:57:49,021
I agreed.

6729
03:57:49,021 --> 03:57:50,522
To my astonishment,

6730
03:57:50,522 --> 03:57:51,423
the destination

6731
03:57:51,423 --> 03:57:52,691
he had chosen for me

6732
03:57:52,691 --> 03:57:55,728
was none other than the Morningside Lunatic Asylum.

6733
03:57:55,728 --> 03:57:58,264
Upon my arrival, the governor of the asylum,

6734
03:57:58,264 --> 03:57:59,665
an Englishman responsible

6735
03:57:59,665 --> 03:58:01,333
for the entire establishment,

6736
03:58:01,333 --> 03:58:04,303
shaved my head and applied a blistering agent to it.

6737
03:58:04,303 --> 03:58:06,038
I couldn't help but think to myself

6738
03:58:06,038 --> 03:58:07,039
that I had been treated

6739
03:58:07,039 --> 03:58:09,174
even more harshly than Samson,

6740
03:58:09,174 --> 03:58:11,677
whose head at least wasn't blistered yet.

6741
03:58:11,677 --> 03:58:14,847
I endured this ordeal with patience and humility.

6742
03:58:14,847 --> 03:58:16,415
Remarkably, the same fervor

6743
03:58:16,415 --> 03:58:17,449
that drove me to preach

6744
03:58:17,449 --> 03:58:18,517
in the streets of Edinburgh

6745
03:58:18,517 --> 03:58:23,055
during the National Fast on April 25th, 1854, 41 years

6746
03:58:23,055 --> 03:58:27,092
later, was as strong as it was back in 1813.

6747
03:58:27,092 --> 03:58:29,762
Back then, street preaching by someone like me

6748
03:58:29,762 --> 03:58:31,363
was unprecedented.

6749
03:58:31,363 --> 03:58:33,932
My situation mirrored that of the man from whom

6750
03:58:33,932 --> 03:58:36,335
Jesus had expelled a legion of demons

6751
03:58:36,335 --> 03:58:39,872
found afterwards clothed and in his right mind.

6752
03:58:39,872 --> 03:58:42,608
Although he wished to follow Jesus, he was instructed

6753
03:58:42,608 --> 03:58:43,442
instead

6754
03:58:43,442 --> 03:58:45,044
to return to his loved ones

6755
03:58:45,044 --> 03:58:46,312
and share the great deeds

6756
03:58:46,312 --> 03:58:48,180
the Lord had accomplished for him.

6757
03:58:48,180 --> 03:58:49,315
In a similar spirit,

6758
03:58:49,315 --> 03:58:51,950
I traversed the city of Edinburgh for 43 years,

6759
03:58:51,950 --> 03:58:53,786
spreading the gospel.

6760
03:58:53,786 --> 03:58:57,056
Despite facing numerous challenges and resistance,

6761
03:58:57,056 --> 03:58:58,657
I remained committed to the mission

6762
03:58:58,657 --> 03:59:01,193
the Lord had entrusted to me, bolstered

6763
03:59:01,193 --> 03:59:02,161
by his assurance

6764
03:59:02,161 --> 03:59:05,197
that thy shoes shall be iron and brass,

6765
03:59:05,197 --> 03:59:08,634
and as thy days, so shall thy strength be.

6766
03:59:08,634 --> 03:59:09,935
The truth of his promise

6767
03:59:09,935 --> 03:59:11,670
has been evident in my journey,

6768
03:59:11,670 --> 03:59:14,640
for which I give all glory to his name.

6769
03:59:14,640 --> 03:59:17,609
Back at Morningside, my experiences varied.

6770
03:59:17,609 --> 03:59:19,712
At times I was met with kindness.

6771
03:59:19,712 --> 03:59:21,213
However, my attempts to preach

6772
03:59:21,213 --> 03:59:22,181
to the governor

6773
03:59:22,181 --> 03:59:25,484
often resulted in him cursing and swearing at me.

6774
03:59:25,484 --> 03:59:26,251
Despite this,

6775
03:59:26,251 --> 03:59:28,620
I continued to lay down the law before him,

6776
03:59:28,620 --> 03:59:30,456
followed by the gospel.

6777
03:59:30,456 --> 03:59:33,125
This approach invariably angered him, leading

6778
03:59:33,125 --> 03:59:35,928
to my confinement in a dark, isolated cell

6779
03:59:35,928 --> 03:59:37,563
known as the black hole.

6780
03:59:37,563 --> 03:59:39,798
I accepted this treatment with Grace,

6781
03:59:39,798 --> 03:59:41,467
seeing it as an opportunity

6782
03:59:41,467 --> 03:59:43,669
to deepen my commitment to prayer.

6783
03:59:43,669 --> 03:59:45,804
First for the governor's enlightenment

6784
03:59:45,804 --> 03:59:48,841
and then for the well-being of all the patients.

6785
03:59:48,841 --> 03:59:50,642
After a period of confinement,

6786
03:59:50,642 --> 03:59:52,244
the governor released me

6787
03:59:52,244 --> 03:59:54,380
and I was allowed to walk in the garden.

6788
03:59:54,380 --> 03:59:56,382
This brief moment of solitude occurred

6789
03:59:56,382 --> 03:59:58,684
as everyone else went inside for their breakfast,

6790
03:59:58,684 --> 04:00:02,187
leaving me alone amidst the tranquility of the garden.

6791
04:00:02,187 --> 04:00:04,456
The asylum was still under construction,

6792
04:00:04,456 --> 04:00:06,725
with one section of the wall incomplete

6793
04:00:06,725 --> 04:00:08,594
and easily scalable.

6794
04:00:08,594 --> 04:00:11,497
Seizing the opportunity, I escaped.

6795
04:00:11,497 --> 04:00:13,399
Aware that taking the direct route

6796
04:00:13,399 --> 04:00:15,601
would lead to my swift recapture,

6797
04:00:15,601 --> 04:00:18,437
I opted for a more strategic path

6798
04:00:18,437 --> 04:00:21,640
near the gate, about 300 yards to the right,

6799
04:00:21,640 --> 04:00:25,177
there was a plantation surrounded by a high wall.

6800
04:00:25,177 --> 04:00:27,813
I jumped over this wall and concealed myself

6801
04:00:27,813 --> 04:00:29,081
among the trees,

6802
04:00:29,081 --> 04:00:31,950
waiting until enough time had passed for my pursuers

6803
04:00:31,950 --> 04:00:34,186
to have reached my home and returned.

6804
04:00:34,186 --> 04:00:36,255
Believing the coast was clear.

6805
04:00:36,255 --> 04:00:37,890
I then made my way home,

6806
04:00:37,890 --> 04:00:39,925
safely arriving and immediately

6807
04:00:39,925 --> 04:00:42,027
securing the door to prevent entry.

6808
04:00:42,027 --> 04:00:45,397
However, my presence did not remain a secret for long.

6809
04:00:45,397 --> 04:00:48,834
Someone tipped off the authorities about my location,

6810
04:00:48,834 --> 04:00:50,969
using a ladder to peer through the window.

6811
04:00:50,969 --> 04:00:52,738
They spotted me inside.

6812
04:00:52,738 --> 04:00:55,541
Thus I was apprehended once more, much

6813
04:00:55,541 --> 04:00:57,309
to the dismay of some neighbors

6814
04:00:57,309 --> 04:00:58,844
who were visibly upset,

6815
04:00:58,844 --> 04:01:02,147
shedding tears as I was taken away, yet influenced

6816
04:01:02,147 --> 04:01:04,116
by the promises made by the governor,

6817
04:01:04,116 --> 04:01:06,952
I complied with their actions. Without resistance.

6818
04:01:06,952 --> 04:01:09,721
Doctor Stewart arranged for a minister to visit me,

6819
04:01:09,721 --> 04:01:10,589
a minister who,

6820
04:01:10,589 --> 04:01:13,892
quite surprisingly advised against reading the Bible.

6821
04:01:13,892 --> 04:01:16,195
This suggestion was so shocking to me

6822
04:01:16,195 --> 04:01:18,931
that I vehemently expressed my disagreement,

6823
04:01:18,931 --> 04:01:21,033
ensuring he didn't return.

6824
04:01:21,033 --> 04:01:23,802
I explained to him how crucial the Bible is.

6825
04:01:23,802 --> 04:01:26,505
It serves as the ultimate source of comfort

6826
04:01:26,505 --> 04:01:27,673
for those in distress

6827
04:01:27,673 --> 04:01:31,610
and acts as a guide, leading us to God through Christ,

6828
04:01:31,610 --> 04:01:33,312
who is depicted in its pages

6829
04:01:33,312 --> 04:01:35,380
in various roles and titles.

6830
04:01:35,380 --> 04:01:36,815
Following our interaction,

6831
04:01:36,815 --> 04:01:38,417
the minister convinced the governor

6832
04:01:38,417 --> 04:01:40,319
to confiscate my Bible.

6833
04:01:40,319 --> 04:01:42,688
I made it clear that if my Bible was taken,

6834
04:01:42,688 --> 04:01:45,457
I would refuse to eat until it was returned.

6835
04:01:45,457 --> 04:01:48,627
By attempting to deprive me of spiritual nourishment,

6836
04:01:48,627 --> 04:01:50,095
he was effectively denying

6837
04:01:50,095 --> 04:01:52,364
my physical sustenance as well.

6838
04:01:52,364 --> 04:01:54,399
True to my word, I did not eat.

6839
04:01:54,399 --> 04:01:55,434
Despite the governor

6840
04:01:55,434 --> 04:01:57,336
sending meals to me for three days,

6841
04:01:57,336 --> 04:01:59,605
I sent each one back untouched,

6842
04:01:59,605 --> 04:02:02,074
fasting for three full days and nights.

6843
04:02:02,074 --> 04:02:03,308
The governor, fearing

6844
04:02:03,308 --> 04:02:04,376
that I might succumb

6845
04:02:04,376 --> 04:02:05,677
to starvation,

6846
04:02:05,677 --> 04:02:08,914
crafted a strategy to guarantee my nourishment.

6847
04:02:08,914 --> 04:02:10,816
He enlisted a robust individual

6848
04:02:10,816 --> 04:02:12,784
to secure me upon my bed,

6849
04:02:12,784 --> 04:02:14,586
pinning down my legs and knees

6850
04:02:14,586 --> 04:02:16,288
while he himself applied pressure

6851
04:02:16,288 --> 04:02:17,990
on my chest with his knee.

6852
04:02:17,990 --> 04:02:19,591
Utilizing a large key,

6853
04:02:19,591 --> 04:02:21,593
he pried my mouth open in an attempt

6854
04:02:21,593 --> 04:02:22,027
to feed me

6855
04:02:22,027 --> 04:02:23,662
spoonfuls of sustenance,

6856
04:02:23,662 --> 04:02:26,131
hopeful that I would concede to swallow.

6857
04:02:26,131 --> 04:02:27,766
Yet, inspired by the adage

6858
04:02:27,766 --> 04:02:29,835
one man can lead a horse to water,

6859
04:02:29,835 --> 04:02:32,437
but 24 cannot make him drink,

6860
04:02:32,437 --> 04:02:34,172
I stood firm in my resolve.

6861
04:02:34,172 --> 04:02:35,874
True to the Proverbs wisdom,

6862
04:02:35,874 --> 04:02:37,609
I resisted his efforts,

6863
04:02:37,609 --> 04:02:40,412
forcefully expelling the food back at him.

6864
04:02:40,412 --> 04:02:41,713
A rebellious gesture

6865
04:02:41,713 --> 04:02:44,149
underscoring my refusal to submit.

6866
04:02:44,149 --> 04:02:47,052
Realizing he could not compel me to eat, the governor

6867
04:02:47,052 --> 04:02:50,289
finally relented, agreeing to return my Bible,

6868
04:02:50,289 --> 04:02:53,759
I insisted on having the Bible before eating anything.

6869
04:02:53,759 --> 04:02:55,127
Once it was in my hands,

6870
04:02:55,127 --> 04:02:55,727
I briefly

6871
04:02:55,727 --> 04:02:59,131
prayed for God's blessing on His Word to my soul.

6872
04:02:59,131 --> 04:03:00,432
I then read a chapter

6873
04:03:00,432 --> 04:03:03,569
allowing the sacred text to spiritually nourish me

6874
04:03:03,569 --> 04:03:06,505
before I physically nourished myself with food,

6875
04:03:06,505 --> 04:03:09,341
which I then ate with a hearty appetite.

6876
04:03:09,341 --> 04:03:11,910
The governor, recognizing the ineffectiveness

6877
04:03:11,910 --> 04:03:13,645
of his previous methods,

6878
04:03:13,645 --> 04:03:15,581
adopted a more drastic approach.

6879
04:03:15,581 --> 04:03:17,883
In an attempt to quell my resolve,

6880
04:03:17,883 --> 04:03:20,719
he took my Bible and confined me to my room,

6881
04:03:20,719 --> 04:03:22,588
plunging it into complete darkness

6882
04:03:22,588 --> 04:03:24,656
by closing the window shutters.

6883
04:03:24,656 --> 04:03:25,924
Yet one stormy night,

6884
04:03:25,924 --> 04:03:28,860
inspired by the rhythmic patter of rain on the window,

6885
04:03:28,860 --> 04:03:31,163
I was determined to flee with resolve.

6886
04:03:31,163 --> 04:03:33,332
I dislodged the shutters from the inside.

6887
04:03:33,332 --> 04:03:36,001
Although metal bars still stood in my way.

6888
04:03:36,001 --> 04:03:38,837
With resourcefulness, I first maneuvered my clothes

6889
04:03:38,837 --> 04:03:39,738
through the bars,

6890
04:03:39,738 --> 04:03:42,307
then squeezed myself through the slim gap.

6891
04:03:42,307 --> 04:03:43,308
Once outside,

6892
04:03:43,308 --> 04:03:45,611
I ingeniously fashioned a makeshift rope

6893
04:03:45,611 --> 04:03:47,312
from two sheets tied together,

6894
04:03:47,312 --> 04:03:49,681
securing one end to the bars

6895
04:03:49,681 --> 04:03:52,317
like a sailor expertly navigating a rope.

6896
04:03:52,317 --> 04:03:55,387
I descended from the second story window to freedom.

6897
04:03:55,387 --> 04:03:57,889
I made my way swiftly back to my own home,

6898
04:03:57,889 --> 04:04:00,559
using the sheets as a sign of my escape.

6899
04:04:00,559 --> 04:04:02,761
Fortuitously, my wife had left

6900
04:04:02,761 --> 04:04:04,696
the door unlocked that night.

6901
04:04:04,696 --> 04:04:07,633
Upon my gentle knock and identification,

6902
04:04:07,633 --> 04:04:09,935
she expressed a premonition of my return.

6903
04:04:09,935 --> 04:04:13,572
That very night, after sharing my plans with her,

6904
04:04:13,572 --> 04:04:15,340
understanding the inevitability

6905
04:04:15,340 --> 04:04:17,009
of pursuit, by morning,

6906
04:04:17,009 --> 04:04:18,510
I decided to seek refuge

6907
04:04:18,510 --> 04:04:20,912
at my father's house in Old Kilpatrick,

6908
04:04:20,912 --> 04:04:23,015
but in place of taking the Glasgow road,

6909
04:04:23,015 --> 04:04:24,483
I went to Queensferry.

6910
04:04:24,483 --> 04:04:25,851
While I was waiting for the boat,

6911
04:04:25,851 --> 04:04:27,319
I took off my clothes

6912
04:04:27,319 --> 04:04:30,322
and plunged into the sea and began to swim,

6913
04:04:30,322 --> 04:04:32,357
which I formally delighted in,

6914
04:04:32,357 --> 04:04:35,293
and I found great benefit from so doing.

6915
04:04:35,293 --> 04:04:36,795
It refreshed my body

6916
04:04:36,795 --> 04:04:39,031
and strengthened me for my journey.

6917
04:04:39,031 --> 04:04:41,500
Once dressed, I boarded the ferry,

6918
04:04:41,500 --> 04:04:42,968
seizing the opportunity

6919
04:04:42,968 --> 04:04:43,402
to share

6920
04:04:43,402 --> 04:04:44,536
with fellow passengers

6921
04:04:44,536 --> 04:04:47,906
and crew about the essential matters of the gospel.

6922
04:04:47,906 --> 04:04:51,043
Upon reaching North Queensferry, I found myself

6923
04:04:51,043 --> 04:04:53,912
speaking freely and passionately to the locals,

6924
04:04:53,912 --> 04:04:54,913
and likewise,

6925
04:04:54,913 --> 04:04:56,581
as I journeyed through Dunfermline,

6926
04:04:56,581 --> 04:04:58,283
I raised my voice in the high street

6927
04:04:58,283 --> 04:04:59,685
in various locations,

6928
04:04:59,685 --> 04:05:01,620
proclaiming the message of salvation

6929
04:05:01,620 --> 04:05:03,789
through Christ without reserve.

6930
04:05:03,789 --> 04:05:06,992
Despite offers of financial support from the people,

6931
04:05:06,992 --> 04:05:10,395
I declined, having been provided for by my wife prior

6932
04:05:10,395 --> 04:05:11,997
to my departure.

6933
04:05:11,997 --> 04:05:14,433
As evening approached, I decided against seeking

6934
04:05:14,433 --> 04:05:16,601
lodging to avoid any disruptions

6935
04:05:16,601 --> 04:05:18,370
to my spiritual endeavors,

6936
04:05:18,370 --> 04:05:21,606
intent on spending the night in prayer and reflection

6937
04:05:21,606 --> 04:05:23,375
akin to the practices of our Lord,

6938
04:05:23,375 --> 04:05:26,244
who often sought solitude in nature for prayer.

6939
04:05:26,244 --> 04:05:28,647
I found refuge in a cornfield

6940
04:05:28,647 --> 04:05:31,083
using a soldier's greatcoat for cover.

6941
04:05:31,083 --> 04:05:32,551
I spent the night under the open

6942
04:05:32,551 --> 04:05:35,220
sky in prayer and meditation,

6943
04:05:35,220 --> 04:05:37,322
with the dawn bringing a slight rain.

6944
04:05:37,322 --> 04:05:39,291
I set out back towards my home,

6945
04:05:39,291 --> 04:05:40,292
dedicating the day

6946
04:05:40,292 --> 04:05:42,461
to spreading the gospel along my path,

6947
04:05:42,461 --> 04:05:46,098
reminiscent of a sower scattering seeds upon

6948
04:05:46,098 --> 04:05:48,467
my return to Edinburgh and to my home,

6949
04:05:48,467 --> 04:05:49,801
it was already dark.

6950
04:05:49,801 --> 04:05:52,838
I managed to enter without drawing any attention.

6951
04:05:52,838 --> 04:05:54,673
My wife shared with me that the police

6952
04:05:54,673 --> 04:05:56,641
had been actively searching for me,

6953
04:05:56,641 --> 04:05:57,776
led by a sergeant

6954
04:05:57,776 --> 04:06:00,045
who vehemently declared he'd find me

6955
04:06:00,045 --> 04:06:02,614
unless I was hiding in hell itself.

6956
04:06:02,614 --> 04:06:05,383
To this, I quietly responded that he would not find me

6957
04:06:05,383 --> 04:06:06,451
there, and expressed my hope

6958
04:06:06,451 --> 04:06:08,754
that he would avoid such a fate as well.

6959
04:06:08,754 --> 04:06:11,490
Later on, our paths crossed again, seizing

6960
04:06:11,490 --> 04:06:13,492
this opportunity for reconciliation

6961
04:06:13,492 --> 04:06:15,060
and perhaps redemption,

6962
04:06:15,060 --> 04:06:16,762
I invited him to my home

6963
04:06:16,762 --> 04:06:19,464
in a display of kindness and hospitality.

6964
04:06:19,464 --> 04:06:21,900
I reminded him gently of his earlier words.

6965
04:06:21,900 --> 04:06:23,401
I took this moment to offer him

6966
04:06:23,401 --> 04:06:25,237
both advice and prayers,

6967
04:06:25,237 --> 04:06:28,039
hoping to guide him towards a better path.

6968
04:06:28,039 --> 04:06:30,475
The treatment I received worsened my health,

6969
04:06:30,475 --> 04:06:31,843
so my wife took care of me

6970
04:06:31,843 --> 04:06:35,080
by providing medicine and insisting on a week's rest.

6971
04:06:35,080 --> 04:06:35,881
During this time,

6972
04:06:35,881 --> 04:06:38,049
the police were actively searching for me,

6973
04:06:38,049 --> 04:06:40,919
so my wife made sure to keep the door locked.

6974
04:06:40,919 --> 04:06:42,120
We had a small closet

6975
04:06:42,120 --> 04:06:42,788
located high

6976
04:06:42,788 --> 04:06:43,955
above the main door,

6977
04:06:43,955 --> 04:06:45,624
measuring about six feet in length

6978
04:06:45,624 --> 04:06:47,092
and three feet in width.

6979
04:06:47,092 --> 04:06:48,960
It even had its own door.

6980
04:06:48,960 --> 04:06:50,128
Whenever someone knocked

6981
04:06:50,128 --> 04:06:52,097
my wife would place a table underneath

6982
04:06:52,097 --> 04:06:54,432
so I could climb up into this hideaway.

6983
04:06:54,432 --> 04:06:57,235
Whenever the police visited to check if I was at home,

6984
04:06:57,235 --> 04:06:59,571
my wife would invite them in to look around,

6985
04:06:59,571 --> 04:07:02,107
ensuring they could see for themselves.

6986
04:07:02,107 --> 04:07:03,375
After recovering,

6987
04:07:03,375 --> 04:07:05,277
I bravely returned to the Grassmarket

6988
04:07:05,277 --> 04:07:06,945
to preach once more.

6989
04:07:06,945 --> 04:07:10,182
The police arrested me and escorted me to my home,

6990
04:07:10,182 --> 04:07:13,051
awaiting instructions from the asylum's governor.

6991
04:07:13,051 --> 04:07:14,219
Upon his arrival,

6992
04:07:14,219 --> 04:07:15,821
he brought a coach to transport me

6993
04:07:15,821 --> 04:07:17,422
back to Morningside.

6994
04:07:17,422 --> 04:07:19,391
I agreed to go only on the condition

6995
04:07:19,391 --> 04:07:21,092
that I could retain my Bible,

6996
04:07:21,092 --> 04:07:22,928
and that the windows in my confinement

6997
04:07:22,928 --> 04:07:24,663
area would be left open.

6998
04:07:24,663 --> 04:07:27,599
He agreed to these terms and honored his promise.

6999
04:07:27,599 --> 04:07:29,801
However, he adopted a routine

7000
04:07:29,801 --> 04:07:31,736
where he would take my clothes each night

7001
04:07:31,736 --> 04:07:33,305
when I prepared for bed,

7002
04:07:33,305 --> 04:07:35,974
only returning them the following morning.

7003
04:07:35,974 --> 04:07:38,243
The governor had a sister and a daughter there.

7004
04:07:38,243 --> 04:07:40,212
His sister was very kind to me.

7005
04:07:40,212 --> 04:07:40,912
His daughter,

7006
04:07:40,912 --> 04:07:43,315
who was a very religious girl, said to me

7007
04:07:43,315 --> 04:07:45,317
that if I could convert her father,

7008
04:07:45,317 --> 04:07:47,185
I should get the best chair in heaven.

7009
04:07:47,185 --> 04:07:49,054
I said I could not convert myself

7010
04:07:49,054 --> 04:07:50,555
much less your father,

7011
04:07:50,555 --> 04:07:52,991
but I can use means and ask the Lord to bless

7012
04:07:52,991 --> 04:07:54,993
the means used for his conversion.

7013
04:07:54,993 --> 04:07:56,261
That was all my object

7014
04:07:56,261 --> 04:07:58,463
during the time I was under his charge.

7015
04:07:58,463 --> 04:07:59,097
At length

7016
04:07:59,097 --> 04:08:00,866
he was brought to a better state of mind,

7017
04:08:00,866 --> 04:08:03,535
declaring that I was an inoffensive man.

7018
04:08:03,535 --> 04:08:05,470
I think he had great confidence in me,

7019
04:08:05,470 --> 04:08:07,272
for he asked me to shave him

7020
04:08:07,272 --> 04:08:10,075
and employed me to cut some of the patients hair.

7021
04:08:10,075 --> 04:08:11,743
The governor used to make the servants

7022
04:08:11,743 --> 04:08:14,279
take the patients out to walk in the garden,

7023
04:08:14,279 --> 04:08:16,314
and he asked me to preach to them.

7024
04:08:16,314 --> 04:08:18,984
I cannot recollect exactly what I said.

7025
04:08:18,984 --> 04:08:21,720
There were 2 or 3 ministers in the asylum then,

7026
04:08:21,720 --> 04:08:24,122
and what I did say put two of them in a rage,

7027
04:08:24,122 --> 04:08:25,590
and they cursed me.

7028
04:08:25,590 --> 04:08:29,227
What Rylan says, as mentioned before, was verified

7029
04:08:29,227 --> 04:08:30,862
in the case alluded to.

7030
04:08:30,862 --> 04:08:32,364
I was kept nearly six months

7031
04:08:32,364 --> 04:08:32,931
in that place

7032
04:08:32,931 --> 04:08:37,602
from the 27th of May to the 14th of November, 1814.

7033
04:08:37,602 --> 04:08:39,170
During that time, the Lord taught me

7034
04:08:39,170 --> 04:08:41,373
many sweet lessons experimentally.

7035
04:08:41,373 --> 04:08:42,941
It was a college for me.

7036
04:08:42,941 --> 04:08:45,210
My prayers were earnest and fervent

7037
04:08:45,210 --> 04:08:47,612
and importunate from a broken heart

7038
04:08:47,612 --> 04:08:50,282
on account of the afflictions of my confinement

7039
04:08:50,282 --> 04:08:52,617
and the accusation that I was beside myself.

7040
04:08:52,617 --> 04:08:55,120
It was the same with my blessed Lord and master.

7041
04:08:55,120 --> 04:08:58,323
He always prayed earnestly, but when he was in agony,

7042
04:08:58,323 --> 04:08:59,925
he prayed more earnestly

7043
04:08:59,925 --> 04:09:02,060
that the cup might pass from him.

7044
04:09:02,060 --> 04:09:03,094
And then he qualified it

7045
04:09:03,094 --> 04:09:07,565
with a nevertheless not my will, but thine be done.

7046
04:09:07,565 --> 04:09:10,902
I got paper, pen, and ink, and wrote a few lines

7047
04:09:10,902 --> 04:09:12,070
to Doctor Steward,

7048
04:09:12,070 --> 04:09:14,406
and got my letter conveyed to him by my wife,

7049
04:09:14,406 --> 04:09:15,907
who came to see me.

7050
04:09:15,907 --> 04:09:17,876
Doctor Stewart got me out on the condition

7051
04:09:17,876 --> 04:09:19,778
that I was not to preach again.

7052
04:09:19,778 --> 04:09:22,914
I thought whether I would obey God or man.

7053
04:09:22,914 --> 04:09:23,915
As I said before,

7054
04:09:23,915 --> 04:09:26,952
God made me speak and not hold my peace.

7055
04:09:26,952 --> 04:09:28,353
I was like a man delivered

7056
04:09:28,353 --> 04:09:28,920
as David

7057
04:09:28,920 --> 04:09:30,789
was from the lowest hell,

7058
04:09:30,789 --> 04:09:33,191
and I dared not do otherwise.

7059
04:09:33,191 --> 04:09:35,226
During my time in Morningside,

7060
04:09:35,226 --> 04:09:38,063
I encountered a particularly striking case.

7061
04:09:38,063 --> 04:09:40,832
A gentleman in the asylum had moments of clarity,

7062
04:09:40,832 --> 04:09:43,468
but was often overwhelmed by distress.

7063
04:09:43,468 --> 04:09:46,805
In these periods, he would become enraged, blaspheming

7064
04:09:46,805 --> 04:09:47,906
against God

7065
04:09:47,906 --> 04:09:52,210
his son, and even denouncing the sacrifice of Christ.

7066
04:09:52,210 --> 04:09:53,445
I visited him,

7067
04:09:53,445 --> 04:09:56,214
kneeling by his side with an open Bible.

7068
04:09:56,214 --> 04:09:59,050
I pleaded what the Lord Jesus had done before,

7069
04:09:59,050 --> 04:10:00,185
praying earnestly

7070
04:10:00,185 --> 04:10:02,354
that he would do the same to this man,

7071
04:10:02,354 --> 04:10:04,723
so that he might return to his right mind,

7072
04:10:04,723 --> 04:10:07,993
and that the evil spirit might be cast out of him.

7073
04:10:07,993 --> 04:10:11,129
But I observed it had no effect in Morningside.

7074
04:10:11,129 --> 04:10:13,331
There was a young woman in profound distress

7075
04:10:13,331 --> 04:10:15,600
who openly yearned for death.

7076
04:10:15,600 --> 04:10:18,937
She would extend her arms, clasp her hands together,

7077
04:10:18,937 --> 04:10:22,140
and express her desire to embrace death.

7078
04:10:22,140 --> 04:10:25,377
I attempted to console her, offering every reassurance

7079
04:10:25,377 --> 04:10:26,678
I could think of.

7080
04:10:26,678 --> 04:10:28,680
When asked if any event had disturbed her

7081
04:10:28,680 --> 04:10:30,849
peace of mind, she denied it.

7082
04:10:30,849 --> 04:10:32,550
Yet remained inconsolable.

7083
04:10:32,550 --> 04:10:34,085
Despite my efforts,

7084
04:10:34,085 --> 04:10:36,154
the staff would occasionally take patients

7085
04:10:36,154 --> 04:10:37,789
for walks in the garden.

7086
04:10:37,789 --> 04:10:39,724
On one such occasion, this young lady

7087
04:10:39,724 --> 04:10:41,793
attempted to end her life by tying

7088
04:10:41,793 --> 04:10:43,628
one end of her shawl to a tree

7089
04:10:43,628 --> 04:10:45,563
and the other around her neck.

7090
04:10:45,563 --> 04:10:47,866
Alerted by the screams of the attendants,

7091
04:10:47,866 --> 04:10:50,068
the male staff rushed to her aid,

7092
04:10:50,068 --> 04:10:52,070
saving her just in time.

7093
04:10:52,070 --> 04:10:53,104
Tragically,

7094
04:10:53,104 --> 04:10:55,774
she later succeeded in taking her own life,

7095
04:10:55,774 --> 04:10:59,177
achieving the release she had so desperately sought.

7096
04:10:59,177 --> 04:11:01,413
This incident was kept confidential,

7097
04:11:01,413 --> 04:11:04,115
but I was informed by the staff that she had indeed

7098
04:11:04,115 --> 04:11:05,850
ended her life.

7099
04:11:05,850 --> 04:11:08,086
There is another thing I wish to relate.

7100
04:11:08,086 --> 04:11:10,889
While I was in the asylum, when alone in my room,

7101
04:11:10,889 --> 04:11:11,790
I prayed to the Lord

7102
04:11:11,790 --> 04:11:13,158
that he would lead me by His Word

7103
04:11:13,158 --> 04:11:15,660
and Spirit into the imagery of my heart,

7104
04:11:15,660 --> 04:11:17,495
and make His Word to be a discerner

7105
04:11:17,495 --> 04:11:19,864
of the thoughts and intents of my heart,

7106
04:11:19,864 --> 04:11:21,433
and make me to know my sins

7107
04:11:21,433 --> 04:11:23,435
that I had committed against him.

7108
04:11:23,435 --> 04:11:25,470
I thought upon all my ways and actions

7109
04:11:25,470 --> 04:11:27,238
through the whole course of my life,

7110
04:11:27,238 --> 04:11:29,641
from a child to the present time.

7111
04:11:29,641 --> 04:11:31,376
I confessed them over the head

7112
04:11:31,376 --> 04:11:33,445
of my New Testament scapegoat.

7113
04:11:33,445 --> 04:11:36,147
Even Jesus Christ, typified by that goat

7114
04:11:36,147 --> 04:11:37,916
which Aaron was to present

7115
04:11:37,916 --> 04:11:41,820
alive before the Lord, to make an atonement with him,

7116
04:11:41,820 --> 04:11:45,190
and to let him go for a scapegoat into the wilderness.

7117
04:11:45,190 --> 04:11:46,891
Reflecting deeply on my past

7118
04:11:46,891 --> 04:11:48,827
sins and feeling overwhelmed by sorrow

7119
04:11:48,827 --> 04:11:51,196
for my actions against a kind, loving,

7120
04:11:51,196 --> 04:11:53,298
patient, and enduring God,

7121
04:11:53,298 --> 04:11:56,835
I spoke to myself as if addressing a congregation

7122
04:11:56,835 --> 04:11:59,671
aware of the Lord's formidable presence.

7123
04:11:59,671 --> 04:12:02,707
I warned myself with the words of the law, cursed

7124
04:12:02,707 --> 04:12:03,575
is everyone

7125
04:12:03,575 --> 04:12:04,676
who does not persist

7126
04:12:04,676 --> 04:12:06,611
in all that is written in the law.

7127
04:12:06,611 --> 04:12:08,680
And when the commandment was revealed,

7128
04:12:08,680 --> 04:12:12,317
sin became alive and I felt spiritually dead.

7129
04:12:12,317 --> 04:12:13,051
Following this,

7130
04:12:13,051 --> 04:12:14,552
I visited the garden where our Lord

7131
04:12:14,552 --> 04:12:16,588
Jesus faced extreme sorrow

7132
04:12:16,588 --> 04:12:18,890
and then journeyed in thought to Calvary.

7133
04:12:18,890 --> 04:12:22,127
There I found comfort in the Scripture that says

7134
04:12:22,127 --> 04:12:23,895
what the law could not do

7135
04:12:23,895 --> 04:12:26,164
because it was weakened by the flesh.

7136
04:12:26,164 --> 04:12:28,233
God did by sending his own son

7137
04:12:28,233 --> 04:12:30,902
in the guise of sinful flesh to deal with sin.

7138
04:12:30,902 --> 04:12:31,436
And God

7139
04:12:31,436 --> 04:12:33,271
presented him as a sacrifice

7140
04:12:33,271 --> 04:12:34,973
through faith in his blood

7141
04:12:34,973 --> 04:12:37,942
to show his righteousness in forgiving past sins

7142
04:12:37,942 --> 04:12:39,511
during God's tolerance,

7143
04:12:39,511 --> 04:12:41,980
to prove his righteousness at this time

7144
04:12:41,980 --> 04:12:44,883
so that he might be just in the justifier of those

7145
04:12:44,883 --> 04:12:46,918
who have faith in Jesus.

7146
04:12:46,918 --> 04:12:48,653
This experience is just an example

7147
04:12:48,653 --> 04:12:50,622
of my actions and reflections.

7148
04:12:50,622 --> 04:12:51,923
I concluded with a prayer

7149
04:12:51,923 --> 04:12:53,725
looking up to Christ in faith,

7150
04:12:53,725 --> 04:12:55,426
similar to how the Israelites

7151
04:12:55,426 --> 04:12:57,662
looked at the bronze serpent to be healed,

7152
04:12:57,662 --> 04:13:00,565
and I realized it was the only way to overcome the sin

7153
04:13:00,565 --> 04:13:02,300
that dwells within me.

7154
04:13:02,300 --> 04:13:04,002
Being sent to Morningside

7155
04:13:04,002 --> 04:13:06,804
turned out to be unexpectedly beneficial.

7156
04:13:06,804 --> 04:13:09,374
When the ninth Veteran Battalion was disbanded,

7157
04:13:09,374 --> 04:13:11,543
the soldiers had to travel to Chelsea

7158
04:13:11,543 --> 04:13:14,445
to be evaluated by the board for their pensions,

7159
04:13:14,445 --> 04:13:17,482
which varied based on their years of service.

7160
04:13:17,482 --> 04:13:19,284
Since I was in Morningside,

7161
04:13:19,284 --> 04:13:21,252
I didn't need to make the trip.

7162
04:13:21,252 --> 04:13:24,722
My service of 21.5 years would have qualified me

7163
04:13:24,722 --> 04:13:27,292
for a pension of only one shilling a day.

7164
04:13:27,292 --> 04:13:28,092
However, Major

7165
04:13:28,092 --> 04:13:30,094
Rhodes, whom I've mentioned before,

7166
04:13:30,094 --> 04:13:32,330
wrote to the board on my behalf

7167
04:13:32,330 --> 04:13:35,700
upon learning I was at the Morningside Lunatic Asylum.

7168
04:13:35,700 --> 04:13:37,602
They classified me as deranged

7169
04:13:37,602 --> 04:13:39,404
and awarded me a pension of one

7170
04:13:39,404 --> 04:13:41,206
shilling and £0.03 a day,

7171
04:13:41,206 --> 04:13:44,342
which I've now received for nearly 42 years.

7172
04:13:44,342 --> 04:13:45,743
This experience has shown me

7173
04:13:45,743 --> 04:13:48,012
the profound advantage of having faith.

7174
04:13:48,012 --> 04:13:51,216
Truly, all things work together for good to them

7175
04:13:51,216 --> 04:13:52,717
that love God, to them

7176
04:13:52,717 --> 04:13:55,453
who are the called according to his purpose.

7177
04:13:55,453 --> 04:13:57,355
In reflecting on my time at Morningside,

7178
04:13:57,355 --> 04:14:00,158
I recall an instance I hadn't shared earlier.

7179
04:14:00,158 --> 04:14:00,925
At one point,

7180
04:14:00,925 --> 04:14:03,895
I experienced such a profound sense of God's favor,

7181
04:14:03,895 --> 04:14:06,731
feeling his gracious presence shining on me through

7182
04:14:06,731 --> 04:14:10,501
Jesus Christ that I felt unshakable, secure.

7183
04:14:10,501 --> 04:14:14,005
Echoing David's words, I shall never be moved,

7184
04:14:14,005 --> 04:14:15,273
Lord, by your favor,

7185
04:14:15,273 --> 04:14:17,976
you have made my mountain stand strong.

7186
04:14:17,976 --> 04:14:19,644
However, this period of grace

7187
04:14:19,644 --> 04:14:21,980
was followed by a challenging time

7188
04:14:21,980 --> 04:14:25,083
when God seemed to withdraw his presence.

7189
04:14:25,083 --> 04:14:28,286
I faced intense temptations and harmful thoughts

7190
04:14:28,286 --> 04:14:31,856
as if the hostile forces were aligning against me.

7191
04:14:31,856 --> 04:14:34,158
Thoughts like you are in the asylum

7192
04:14:34,158 --> 04:14:35,260
and the whole world,

7193
04:14:35,260 --> 04:14:36,194
including fellow

7194
04:14:36,194 --> 04:14:37,061
believers,

7195
04:14:37,061 --> 04:14:40,098
has turned against you for placing you here.

7196
04:14:40,098 --> 04:14:42,400
Consider the continuous harsh treatment

7197
04:14:42,400 --> 04:14:44,302
you're enduring from them.

7198
04:14:44,302 --> 04:14:47,505
It felt as if Satan and his minions were attacking

7199
04:14:47,505 --> 04:14:50,808
my soul with their fiercest efforts to overwhelm me.

7200
04:14:50,808 --> 04:14:52,610
One day while walking in the garden,

7201
04:14:52,610 --> 04:14:54,646
I found a piece of cord.

7202
04:14:54,646 --> 04:14:57,448
I picked it up and took it back to my room.

7203
04:14:57,448 --> 04:14:59,951
Pondering over these experiences.

7204
04:14:59,951 --> 04:15:01,653
As soon as I got there,

7205
04:15:01,653 --> 04:15:03,755
Satan tempted me to put the cord around

7206
04:15:03,755 --> 04:15:05,523
my neck and hang myself,

7207
04:15:05,523 --> 04:15:08,126
and I should undoubtedly have obeyed his suggestion

7208
04:15:08,126 --> 04:15:10,228
if God had not interfered,

7209
04:15:10,228 --> 04:15:12,063
I could then say, like Jobe,

7210
04:15:12,063 --> 04:15:14,499
my soul chooses strangling and death

7211
04:15:14,499 --> 04:15:15,900
rather than my life.

7212
04:15:15,900 --> 04:15:17,869
The devil nearly overcame me

7213
04:15:17,869 --> 04:15:20,538
as I was on the brink of giving into despair.

7214
04:15:20,538 --> 04:15:23,675
However, in a moment of profound compassion and mercy,

7215
04:15:23,675 --> 04:15:24,876
God intervened,

7216
04:15:24,876 --> 04:15:27,812
offering me a glimpse of his grace and love.

7217
04:15:27,812 --> 04:15:30,148
I felt as if I heard a voice in my heart,

7218
04:15:30,148 --> 04:15:34,018
clearly instructing me, do thyself no harm.

7219
04:15:34,018 --> 04:15:37,155
This intense internal struggle was known only to me.

7220
04:15:37,155 --> 04:15:39,857
Despite my hesitation to reveal my vulnerabilities

7221
04:15:39,857 --> 04:15:40,758
to others,

7222
04:15:40,758 --> 04:15:43,394
my hope to offer guidance to anyone who might face

7223
04:15:43,394 --> 04:15:44,696
similar challenges,

7224
04:15:44,696 --> 04:15:45,930
coupled with my commitment

7225
04:15:45,930 --> 04:15:46,998
to honesty,

7226
04:15:46,998 --> 04:15:50,034
compels me to share this experience openly.

7227
04:15:50,034 --> 04:15:52,437
So the Lord brought me off again with flying colors

7228
04:15:52,437 --> 04:15:58,009
and I returned once more to my own house.

7229
04:15:58,009 --> 04:15:59,344
Chapter 12

7230
04:15:59,344 --> 04:16:02,413
Reviving the Gospel Mission at home.

7231
04:16:02,413 --> 04:16:03,881
Upon my return home,

7232
04:16:03,881 --> 04:16:06,317
I felt a renewed commitment to devote myself

7233
04:16:06,317 --> 04:16:08,353
completely to serving the Lord

7234
04:16:08,353 --> 04:16:10,288
and to pick up my previous mission

7235
04:16:10,288 --> 04:16:13,991
of spreading the gospel, a task I deeply enjoyed.

7236
04:16:13,991 --> 04:16:14,992
My heart's desire

7237
04:16:14,992 --> 04:16:17,195
was for the Lord to utilize me in any manner

7238
04:16:17,195 --> 04:16:19,097
he saw fit for his glory,

7239
04:16:19,097 --> 04:16:20,465
blessed with good health,

7240
04:16:20,465 --> 04:16:22,900
a strong body, and a willing heart,

7241
04:16:22,900 --> 04:16:24,936
I was eager to dedicate all of myself

7242
04:16:24,936 --> 04:16:26,337
to God's service.

7243
04:16:26,337 --> 04:16:28,206
My continual prayer was for the Lord

7244
04:16:28,206 --> 04:16:30,408
to use me effectively in his work.

7245
04:16:30,408 --> 04:16:32,477
I decided to start a school.

7246
04:16:32,477 --> 04:16:35,146
Initially I had only two students.

7247
04:16:35,146 --> 04:16:36,547
However, one of them spread

7248
04:16:36,547 --> 04:16:36,948
the word

7249
04:16:36,948 --> 04:16:38,449
that I had opened a school

7250
04:16:38,449 --> 04:16:41,052
and it's amazing how quickly word spread

7251
04:16:41,052 --> 04:16:43,821
before long, I had 50 students enrolled.

7252
04:16:43,821 --> 04:16:46,758
The reason I decided to open a school was this

7253
04:16:46,758 --> 04:16:48,092
the wife of the drum

7254
04:16:48,092 --> 04:16:49,193
major of the regiment

7255
04:16:49,193 --> 04:16:50,495
I was serving in

7256
04:16:50,495 --> 04:16:53,331
had a son who had never attended school.

7257
04:16:53,331 --> 04:16:54,565
Upon learning of this,

7258
04:16:54,565 --> 04:16:58,035
I offered to take him under my wing and educate him.

7259
04:16:58,035 --> 04:17:01,038
My offer was accepted and the boy joined me.

7260
04:17:01,038 --> 04:17:02,140
I began teaching him

7261
04:17:02,140 --> 04:17:04,142
the basics of reading and writing.

7262
04:17:04,142 --> 04:17:05,410
At that point in my life,

7263
04:17:05,410 --> 04:17:07,445
I was still quite inexperienced,

7264
04:17:07,445 --> 04:17:09,614
but I was eager to be of service,

7265
04:17:09,614 --> 04:17:13,317
so I wholehearted dedicated myself to the task.

7266
04:17:13,317 --> 04:17:16,487
Remarkably, my pupil progressed rapidly, soon

7267
04:17:16,487 --> 04:17:19,690
reaching a level of scholarship comparable to my own

7268
04:17:19,690 --> 04:17:21,893
before my departure from the regiment,

7269
04:17:21,893 --> 04:17:24,595
I found fulfillment in witnessing him employed,

7270
04:17:24,595 --> 04:17:25,897
skillfully marking

7271
04:17:25,897 --> 04:17:29,167
various belongings of the men he shared quarters with.

7272
04:17:29,167 --> 04:17:31,903
This experience underscored the value of endeavoring

7273
04:17:31,903 --> 04:17:32,970
to do good.

7274
04:17:32,970 --> 04:17:36,240
Notably, during the time I spent teaching this boy,

7275
04:17:36,240 --> 04:17:38,676
I abstain from drinking like the other men,

7276
04:17:38,676 --> 04:17:41,946
as I aim to set a positive example for him.

7277
04:17:41,946 --> 04:17:44,582
When I started a school after my conversion,

7278
04:17:44,582 --> 04:17:45,683
my primary aim

7279
04:17:45,683 --> 04:17:47,251
was not merely to cultivate

7280
04:17:47,251 --> 04:17:49,720
academic excellence in the children,

7281
04:17:49,720 --> 04:17:50,888
but to nurture them.

7282
04:17:50,888 --> 04:17:52,623
As devout Christians,

7283
04:17:52,623 --> 04:17:55,092
I believed it would be profoundly meaningful

7284
04:17:55,092 --> 04:17:58,229
to impart the Word of God into their hearts.

7285
04:17:58,229 --> 04:17:59,263
Each morning

7286
04:17:59,263 --> 04:18:01,065
I began with singing and prayer

7287
04:18:01,065 --> 04:18:03,000
and ended the day in the same manner.

7288
04:18:03,000 --> 04:18:03,701
This routine

7289
04:18:03,701 --> 04:18:05,236
I faithfully upheld throughout my

7290
04:18:05,236 --> 04:18:07,538
25 years of teaching in Lauriston.

7291
04:18:07,538 --> 04:18:08,673
I sincerely hope

7292
04:18:08,673 --> 04:18:09,874
that my efforts have borne

7293
04:18:09,874 --> 04:18:11,943
fruit in the eyes of the Lord.

7294
04:18:11,943 --> 04:18:12,810
During this period,

7295
04:18:12,810 --> 04:18:15,213
some students from my school passed away.

7296
04:18:15,213 --> 04:18:17,215
I believe that a considerable number of them

7297
04:18:17,215 --> 04:18:19,450
departed this world in the Lord

7298
04:18:19,450 --> 04:18:21,619
despite having ungodly parents.

7299
04:18:21,619 --> 04:18:23,788
Some of these children astounded their families

7300
04:18:23,788 --> 04:18:26,491
by expressing in their final moments

7301
04:18:26,491 --> 04:18:29,694
their anticipation of joining Jesus in heaven.

7302
04:18:29,694 --> 04:18:32,763
Notably, one of my former students became a minister,

7303
04:18:32,763 --> 04:18:34,999
while another embarked on a missionary journey

7304
04:18:34,999 --> 04:18:36,601
to Africa.

7305
04:18:36,601 --> 04:18:37,568
As a young boy,

7306
04:18:37,568 --> 04:18:39,003
I studied at the school of Joseph

7307
04:18:39,003 --> 04:18:40,771
Robertson in Edinburgh.

7308
04:18:40,771 --> 04:18:42,006
His method involved

7309
04:18:42,006 --> 04:18:42,874
having his students

7310
04:18:42,874 --> 04:18:44,342
memorize excerpts

7311
04:18:44,342 --> 04:18:47,345
from the scriptures in the Shorter Catechism, along

7312
04:18:47,345 --> 04:18:48,880
with their corresponding proofs,

7313
04:18:48,880 --> 04:18:50,915
and then recite them back to him.

7314
04:18:50,915 --> 04:18:52,650
Recognizing the tremendous value

7315
04:18:52,650 --> 04:18:54,852
of this approach from my own experience,

7316
04:18:54,852 --> 04:18:56,587
I made a firm decision to implement

7317
04:18:56,587 --> 04:18:59,123
the same strategy in my own school.

7318
04:18:59,123 --> 04:19:00,892
One passage that I learned at Robertson

7319
04:19:00,892 --> 04:19:03,027
School was Isaiah 118

7320
04:19:03,027 --> 04:19:06,330
come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord.

7321
04:19:06,330 --> 04:19:08,032
Though your sins be as scarlet,

7322
04:19:08,032 --> 04:19:09,667
they shall be white as snow.

7323
04:19:09,667 --> 04:19:11,302
Though they be red like crimson,

7324
04:19:11,302 --> 04:19:13,170
they shall be as wool.

7325
04:19:13,170 --> 04:19:15,540
Remarkably, this verse remained hidden in my heart

7326
04:19:15,540 --> 04:19:17,942
for a full 20 years, completely forgotten.

7327
04:19:17,942 --> 04:19:19,143
During that time,

7328
04:19:19,143 --> 04:19:21,746
however, the Lord had saw fit to afflict me

7329
04:19:21,746 --> 04:19:23,981
and lead me into a wilderness experience,

7330
04:19:23,981 --> 04:19:25,816
drawing me closer to himself.

7331
04:19:25,816 --> 04:19:27,118
As it is written,

7332
04:19:27,118 --> 04:19:29,687
I have loved thee with an everlasting love.

7333
04:19:29,687 --> 04:19:33,024
Therefore with loving kindness have I drawn thee.

7334
04:19:33,024 --> 04:19:34,659
At that time the Spirit of God began

7335
04:19:34,659 --> 04:19:35,326
to work in me

7336
04:19:35,326 --> 04:19:36,627
through the once crucified

7337
04:19:36,627 --> 04:19:40,031
but now glorified Savior, prompting me to pray.

7338
04:19:40,031 --> 04:19:42,600
I confessed my uncertainty, expressing

7339
04:19:42,600 --> 04:19:45,336
that I didn't know how to pray or what to say.

7340
04:19:45,336 --> 04:19:46,103
It occurred to me

7341
04:19:46,103 --> 04:19:47,972
that I could offer the Lord's Prayer,

7342
04:19:47,972 --> 04:19:49,774
but I found myself unsatisfied

7343
04:19:49,774 --> 04:19:51,842
with praying, only that.

7344
04:19:51,842 --> 04:19:54,011
And now is the task learned long ago at Mr.

7345
04:19:54,011 --> 04:19:56,781
Robertson School resurfaced in my mind.

7346
04:19:56,781 --> 04:20:00,618
Come now and let us reason together, saith the Lord,

7347
04:20:00,618 --> 04:20:03,588
I repeated that blessed portion of God's Word.

7348
04:20:03,588 --> 04:20:06,357
In that moment the Lord drew near to me,

7349
04:20:06,357 --> 04:20:07,858
and I drew near to him,

7350
04:20:07,858 --> 04:20:11,095
pleading for the fulfillment of that sweet promise.

7351
04:20:11,095 --> 04:20:12,597
It became clear to me

7352
04:20:12,597 --> 04:20:14,432
why the Lord required me to confess

7353
04:20:14,432 --> 04:20:16,467
my sins and transgressions.

7354
04:20:16,467 --> 04:20:17,535
It was so.

7355
04:20:17,535 --> 04:20:19,337
His justice might be glorified

7356
04:20:19,337 --> 04:20:21,138
in my eternal punishment

7357
04:20:21,138 --> 04:20:22,473
for breaking his law

7358
04:20:22,473 --> 04:20:25,476
and living a life of rebellion against him.

7359
04:20:25,476 --> 04:20:27,311
As I repeated the words,

7360
04:20:27,311 --> 04:20:29,180
though my sins be as scarlet,

7361
04:20:29,180 --> 04:20:31,048
they shall be white as snow,

7362
04:20:31,048 --> 04:20:32,850
though they be red like crimson,

7363
04:20:32,850 --> 04:20:34,652
they shall be as wool.

7364
04:20:34,652 --> 04:20:36,754
I was filled with the full assurance of faith

7365
04:20:36,754 --> 04:20:38,222
that God had indeed heard

7366
04:20:38,222 --> 04:20:40,124
and answered my first prayer.

7367
04:20:40,124 --> 04:20:42,193
Reflecting on my own experience,

7368
04:20:42,193 --> 04:20:44,295
I realized that portions of God's

7369
04:20:44,295 --> 04:20:45,796
Word instilled

7370
04:20:45,796 --> 04:20:49,200
into the hearts of children at a young age might later

7371
04:20:49,200 --> 04:20:50,701
yield great good,

7372
04:20:50,701 --> 04:20:53,237
even if I might not live to witness it.

7373
04:20:53,237 --> 04:20:54,105
It occurred to me

7374
04:20:54,105 --> 04:20:55,439
that it might take 20

7375
04:20:55,439 --> 04:20:57,108
or even 30 years

7376
04:20:57,108 --> 04:20:59,777
for the seed sown to mature into fruit.

7377
04:20:59,777 --> 04:21:02,780
Regardless of the outcome, the attempt had to be made

7378
04:21:02,780 --> 04:21:04,849
and the results entrusted to God.

7379
04:21:04,849 --> 04:21:06,717
Thus I embarked on the endeavor,

7380
04:21:06,717 --> 04:21:09,920
praying fervently that just as in my own life,

7381
04:21:09,920 --> 04:21:11,222
the fruits of my labor

7382
04:21:11,222 --> 04:21:13,524
might manifest themselves in the lives of

7383
04:21:13,524 --> 04:21:15,459
at least some of my students,

7384
04:21:15,459 --> 04:21:18,596
even if it took many years for them to do so.

7385
04:21:18,596 --> 04:21:19,830
While there is much more

7386
04:21:19,830 --> 04:21:21,065
I could share about my efforts

7387
04:21:21,065 --> 04:21:23,234
to benefit the children under my care,

7388
04:21:23,234 --> 04:21:25,369
I will refrain from doing so.

7389
04:21:25,369 --> 04:21:26,203
Instead,

7390
04:21:26,203 --> 04:21:27,505
I found myself yearning

7391
04:21:27,505 --> 04:21:29,707
for a broader scope of usefulness.

7392
04:21:29,707 --> 04:21:30,675
Therefore,

7393
04:21:30,675 --> 04:21:32,276
I prayed to the Lord for guidance

7394
04:21:32,276 --> 04:21:34,945
in opening up another field of service.

7395
04:21:34,945 --> 04:21:37,715
Recognizing that I had a connection with the young,

7396
04:21:37,715 --> 04:21:40,117
I believed I could also reach out to the afflicted

7397
04:21:40,117 --> 04:21:41,452
in the infirmary.

7398
04:21:41,452 --> 04:21:42,687
By the grace of God,

7399
04:21:42,687 --> 04:21:47,825
he indeed paved the way for me to do so.

7400
04:21:47,825 --> 04:21:48,359
Chapter

7401
04:21:48,359 --> 04:21:51,929
13 the Beginnings of a Hospital Ministry.

7402
04:21:51,929 --> 04:21:54,565
At that time, an English woman who was journeying

7403
04:21:54,565 --> 04:21:55,833
from Edinburgh to Glasgow

7404
04:21:55,833 --> 04:21:58,202
was attacked by a band of criminals.

7405
04:21:58,202 --> 04:21:59,403
They assaulted her

7406
04:21:59,403 --> 04:22:00,571
and left her grievously

7407
04:22:00,571 --> 04:22:02,840
wounded by the side of the road.

7408
04:22:02,840 --> 04:22:05,609
She was taken to the infirmary, where her distressing

7409
04:22:05,609 --> 04:22:07,478
experience moved many of the devout

7410
04:22:07,478 --> 04:22:09,280
women of Edinburgh deeply.

7411
04:22:09,280 --> 04:22:12,083
They visited her, bringing comfort and engaging

7412
04:22:12,083 --> 04:22:13,350
in meaningful discussions

7413
04:22:13,350 --> 04:22:15,386
about her spiritual well-being.

7414
04:22:15,386 --> 04:22:16,287
Upon request,

7415
04:22:16,287 --> 04:22:19,490
I too went to see her, offering prayers on her behalf.

7416
04:22:19,490 --> 04:22:21,926
However, not content with visiting just one

7417
04:22:21,926 --> 04:22:23,360
unfortunate soul,

7418
04:22:23,360 --> 04:22:24,361
I felt compelled

7419
04:22:24,361 --> 04:22:25,996
to extend my visits and prayers

7420
04:22:25,996 --> 04:22:28,466
to all the other patients in the ward.

7421
04:22:28,466 --> 04:22:30,901
Doing so brought me immense satisfaction

7422
04:22:30,901 --> 04:22:32,436
and a sense of freedom.

7423
04:22:32,436 --> 04:22:35,406
I've outlined this journey to the infirmary in detail,

7424
04:22:35,406 --> 04:22:36,774
because it marked the beginning

7425
04:22:36,774 --> 04:22:39,944
of a rewarding endeavor that spanned two decades.

7426
04:22:39,944 --> 04:22:41,579
I shall now proceed to mention

7427
04:22:41,579 --> 04:22:43,781
some of the most interesting cases

7428
04:22:43,781 --> 04:22:45,416
that came under my notice.

7429
04:22:45,416 --> 04:22:48,119
I may observe at the outset that, having been

7430
04:22:48,119 --> 04:22:49,920
whilst I was a soldier in India,

7431
04:22:49,920 --> 04:22:52,623
so long the inmate of a hospital myself,

7432
04:22:52,623 --> 04:22:55,726
I felt a deep interest in all the patients I visited.

7433
04:22:55,726 --> 04:22:57,294
Having been afflicted myself,

7434
04:22:57,294 --> 04:22:59,964
I could sympathize with them and their afflictions.

7435
04:22:59,964 --> 04:23:02,633
Besides, I owed under God whatever

7436
04:23:02,633 --> 04:23:03,968
spiritual peace or comfort

7437
04:23:03,968 --> 04:23:07,438
I enjoyed to my having been an inmate of an hospital.

7438
04:23:07,438 --> 04:23:07,772
For it

7439
04:23:07,772 --> 04:23:10,274
was there, through the means of a religious comrade,

7440
04:23:10,274 --> 04:23:11,809
who came to pray with me,

7441
04:23:11,809 --> 04:23:13,177
that my heart was melted

7442
04:23:13,177 --> 04:23:15,579
and a praying spirit was produced.

7443
04:23:15,579 --> 04:23:18,182
The patients I may observe were all glad to see me

7444
04:23:18,182 --> 04:23:21,452
when I visited them, and used to invite me back again.

7445
04:23:21,452 --> 04:23:24,088
I took a pleasure in my work and was encouraged in it

7446
04:23:24,088 --> 04:23:26,357
by many passages in the scriptures.

7447
04:23:26,357 --> 04:23:29,193
For example, I was sick and you visited me.

7448
04:23:29,193 --> 04:23:31,228
The prayer of faith shall save the sick,

7449
04:23:31,228 --> 04:23:33,097
and the Lord shall raise him up.

7450
04:23:33,097 --> 04:23:35,633
The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man

7451
04:23:35,633 --> 04:23:37,201
availeth much.

7452
04:23:37,201 --> 04:23:38,636
I have seen many instances

7453
04:23:38,636 --> 04:23:40,805
in which these promises were fulfilled.

7454
04:23:40,805 --> 04:23:42,840
I saw many deaths in the hospital

7455
04:23:42,840 --> 04:23:44,175
and the site had, I trust,

7456
04:23:44,175 --> 04:23:45,743
a salutary effect

7457
04:23:45,743 --> 04:23:48,546
in the way of quickening my zeal to save souls

7458
04:23:48,546 --> 04:23:50,147
and stirring me up, to increase

7459
04:23:50,147 --> 04:23:52,583
diligence and activity, to make my calling

7460
04:23:52,583 --> 04:23:53,150
and election.

7461
04:23:53,150 --> 04:23:54,218
Sure,

7462
04:23:54,218 --> 04:23:57,188
some of the patients would say when they sent for me

7463
04:23:57,188 --> 04:23:58,522
that their ministers refused

7464
04:23:58,522 --> 04:24:00,925
to come to see them for fear of the fever.

7465
04:24:00,925 --> 04:24:03,761
I feel some delicacy in making these statements.

7466
04:24:03,761 --> 04:24:07,131
However, I wish to be honest and to tell the truth,

7467
04:24:07,131 --> 04:24:08,866
the patients often remarked.

7468
04:24:08,866 --> 04:24:09,266
Mr.

7469
04:24:09,266 --> 04:24:11,468
Flockhart isn't afraid of the fever,

7470
04:24:11,468 --> 04:24:13,070
and they spoke the truth.

7471
04:24:13,070 --> 04:24:15,439
Indeed, I never felt fear.

7472
04:24:15,439 --> 04:24:16,307
And remarkably,

7473
04:24:16,307 --> 04:24:17,975
I never contracted the infection

7474
04:24:17,975 --> 04:24:20,678
during my 20 years of service at the hospital.

7475
04:24:20,678 --> 04:24:22,746
This was not the case for the doctors,

7476
04:24:22,746 --> 04:24:25,249
as many of them succumbed to the fever.

7477
04:24:25,249 --> 04:24:27,017
It's important to note that I didn't

7478
04:24:27,017 --> 04:24:31,021
recklessly or unnecessarily expose myself to the risk

7479
04:24:31,021 --> 04:24:33,891
while conversing with and praying for the patients.

7480
04:24:33,891 --> 04:24:35,993
I made sure to maintain a safe distance

7481
04:24:35,993 --> 04:24:38,162
to avoid inhaling their breath.

7482
04:24:38,162 --> 04:24:40,130
Additionally, I took precautions

7483
04:24:40,130 --> 04:24:42,199
to avoid swallowing my saliva.

7484
04:24:42,199 --> 04:24:43,133
These measures help

7485
04:24:43,133 --> 04:24:44,902
to minimize the risk of infection,

7486
04:24:44,902 --> 04:24:47,371
while still allowing me to provide care and comfort

7487
04:24:47,371 --> 04:24:49,006
to those in need.

7488
04:24:49,006 --> 04:24:52,009
I shall now proceed to give some instances of answers

7489
04:24:52,009 --> 04:24:54,211
which were graciously accorded to my prayers.

7490
04:24:54,211 --> 04:24:56,714
Whilst a visitor in the infirmary

7491
04:24:56,714 --> 04:24:57,915
in one of the wards,

7492
04:24:57,915 --> 04:25:00,351
a woman appeared to be at death's door.

7493
04:25:00,351 --> 04:25:02,052
Her limbs were contracted.

7494
04:25:02,052 --> 04:25:04,321
She had lost her ability to speak.

7495
04:25:04,321 --> 04:25:05,856
Her eyes were glazed

7496
04:25:05,856 --> 04:25:07,224
and what seemed like the death

7497
04:25:07,224 --> 04:25:09,593
rattle emanated from her throat.

7498
04:25:09,593 --> 04:25:11,328
Standing by her bedside,

7499
04:25:11,328 --> 04:25:14,131
she looked at me with eyes that seemed to implore.

7500
04:25:14,131 --> 04:25:17,134
Have mercy on me and pray for me.

7501
04:25:17,134 --> 04:25:21,105
Moved by her silent plea, I prayed fervently for her,

7502
04:25:21,105 --> 04:25:22,606
invoking the name of Christ

7503
04:25:22,606 --> 04:25:26,143
with all my heart and soul, and then departed,

7504
04:25:26,143 --> 04:25:29,380
not expecting to see her alive again in this world.

7505
04:25:29,380 --> 04:25:31,248
Returning to the same ward a week later,

7506
04:25:31,248 --> 04:25:33,851
I was astonished to find her sitting up in bed.

7507
04:25:33,851 --> 04:25:35,419
Once again, I spoke to her

7508
04:25:35,419 --> 04:25:37,021
and offered prayers of gratitude

7509
04:25:37,021 --> 04:25:39,123
to the Lord for sparing her life.

7510
04:25:39,123 --> 04:25:42,426
I then left her, assuming I wouldn't see her again.

7511
04:25:42,426 --> 04:25:44,028
Yet, to my surprise,

7512
04:25:44,028 --> 04:25:46,864
when I revisited the ward at the end of another week,

7513
04:25:46,864 --> 04:25:49,800
she was sitting by the fireside with other patients.

7514
04:25:49,800 --> 04:25:53,070
I continued to visit her, sharing her miraculous

7515
04:25:53,070 --> 04:25:54,438
recovery with others

7516
04:25:54,438 --> 04:25:57,341
and offering words of encouragement to all present.

7517
04:25:57,341 --> 04:25:58,309
By the third week,

7518
04:25:58,309 --> 04:26:00,744
she was walking through the hospital unaided.

7519
04:26:00,744 --> 04:26:03,547
Shortly after she was discharged from the infirmary,

7520
04:26:03,547 --> 04:26:05,082
fully healed.

7521
04:26:05,082 --> 04:26:07,651
Sometime later, I recounted this remarkable event

7522
04:26:07,651 --> 04:26:10,621
to some devout individuals I met during tea.

7523
04:26:10,621 --> 04:26:12,323
Among them was a young lady

7524
04:26:12,323 --> 04:26:13,991
who knew the woman in question

7525
04:26:13,991 --> 04:26:15,826
and confirmed hearing the same story

7526
04:26:15,826 --> 04:26:17,294
directly from her.

7527
04:26:17,294 --> 04:26:19,797
Unfortunately, I never encountered the woman again

7528
04:26:19,797 --> 04:26:22,032
and cannot confirm whether her soul experienced

7529
04:26:22,032 --> 04:26:23,767
a spiritual transformation.

7530
04:26:23,767 --> 04:26:24,935
However, the young lady

7531
04:26:24,935 --> 04:26:26,670
who was a Sabbath School teacher

7532
04:26:26,670 --> 04:26:29,039
spoke favorably of the woman's conduct,

7533
04:26:29,039 --> 04:26:32,042
providing some hope for her spiritual journey.

7534
04:26:32,042 --> 04:26:33,410
During my interactions

7535
04:26:33,410 --> 04:26:35,245
with the patients in the infirmary,

7536
04:26:35,245 --> 04:26:38,315
I witnessed the passing of hundreds of souls.

7537
04:26:38,315 --> 04:26:42,353
Regrettably, out of this vast number, only one person,

7538
04:26:42,353 --> 04:26:44,088
a young man and the son of a devout

7539
04:26:44,088 --> 04:26:46,357
father, died in the Lord.

7540
04:26:46,357 --> 04:26:47,992
His final words to his father,

7541
04:26:47,992 --> 04:26:49,159
who stood by his bedside

7542
04:26:49,159 --> 04:26:51,028
during his last moments were,

7543
04:26:51,028 --> 04:26:53,163
I know that I am going to glory.

7544
04:26:53,163 --> 04:26:54,932
However, the rest seemed to face death

7545
04:26:54,932 --> 04:26:56,133
with uncertainty,

7546
04:26:56,133 --> 04:26:56,800
not knowing

7547
04:26:56,800 --> 04:26:59,103
whether they were bound for heaven or hell.

7548
04:26:59,103 --> 04:27:02,339
It's a sobering realization if we draw a comparison

7549
04:27:02,339 --> 04:27:04,408
between the vast expanse of time

7550
04:27:04,408 --> 04:27:06,343
and the eternity that follows,

7551
04:27:06,343 --> 04:27:08,245
we might likened the believer's passing

7552
04:27:08,245 --> 04:27:09,680
to the escape of the mariners

7553
04:27:09,680 --> 04:27:10,714
and passengers

7554
04:27:10,714 --> 04:27:12,483
from the shipwreck, with Paul

7555
04:27:12,483 --> 04:27:14,885
specifically, the death of the young man

7556
04:27:14,885 --> 04:27:17,021
who departed with unwavering faith

7557
04:27:17,021 --> 04:27:20,324
could be likened to the mariners reaching land safely.

7558
04:27:20,324 --> 04:27:22,893
However, I wish to extend charity and judgment

7559
04:27:22,893 --> 04:27:26,196
to all, recognizing that it's not always possible

7560
04:27:26,196 --> 04:27:28,232
to determine the fate of individuals

7561
04:27:28,232 --> 04:27:31,068
solely based on their state of mind at death.

7562
04:27:31,068 --> 04:27:33,871
Even our Lord himself experienced a moment of darkness

7563
04:27:33,871 --> 04:27:37,474
before his death, as evidenced by his agonizing cry,

7564
04:27:37,474 --> 04:27:41,078
My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

7565
04:27:41,078 --> 04:27:42,813
Therefore, it's essential to approach

7566
04:27:42,813 --> 04:27:46,050
such matters with humility and understanding.

7567
04:27:46,050 --> 04:27:47,484
I must emphasize that every

7568
04:27:47,484 --> 04:27:48,619
time I endeavor

7569
04:27:48,619 --> 04:27:49,820
to serve God

7570
04:27:49,820 --> 04:27:52,322
and care for the spiritual needs of others,

7571
04:27:52,322 --> 04:27:55,926
I consistently encountered opposition, mockery,

7572
04:27:55,926 --> 04:27:57,361
and persecution.

7573
04:27:57,361 --> 04:27:58,862
However, much like Moses,

7574
04:27:58,862 --> 04:28:01,832
I believe that enduring such difficulties for Christ

7575
04:28:01,832 --> 04:28:03,300
was much more valuable

7576
04:28:03,300 --> 04:28:05,469
than the greatest treasures of Egypt.

7577
04:28:05,469 --> 04:28:07,805
My motivation was not to earn a reward

7578
04:28:07,805 --> 04:28:10,207
as if it were owed for my efforts and hardships,

7579
04:28:10,207 --> 04:28:13,844
but rather I saw it as a generous gift from God.

7580
04:28:13,844 --> 04:28:16,547
I was assured that the same grace which enabled me

7581
04:28:16,547 --> 04:28:20,451
to take action would also be the source of my reward.

7582
04:28:20,451 --> 04:28:21,552
I've often remarked

7583
04:28:21,552 --> 04:28:24,421
that the Christian life is akin to a constant battle,

7584
04:28:24,421 --> 04:28:25,923
and that those who strive to live

7585
04:28:25,923 --> 04:28:29,359
godly lives will inevitably face persecution.

7586
04:28:29,359 --> 04:28:31,128
This truth became evident to me

7587
04:28:31,128 --> 04:28:33,697
time and again during my visits to the infirmary,

7588
04:28:33,697 --> 04:28:35,499
where I encountered opposition

7589
04:28:35,499 --> 04:28:37,634
from both doctors and students.

7590
04:28:37,634 --> 04:28:39,470
However, the patients themselves

7591
04:28:39,470 --> 04:28:41,505
welcome my presence warmly.

7592
04:28:41,505 --> 04:28:42,539
Allow me to recall

7593
04:28:42,539 --> 04:28:45,843
two particular instances of opposition from doctors.

7594
04:28:45,843 --> 04:28:47,144
The first was a surgeon

7595
04:28:47,144 --> 04:28:47,744
who was rumored

7596
04:28:47,744 --> 04:28:48,946
to be a son of King William

7597
04:28:48,946 --> 04:28:51,215
the Fourth, or of the Duke of Kent.

7598
04:28:51,215 --> 04:28:53,784
He was a talented and handsome young man.

7599
04:28:53,784 --> 04:28:55,953
When he fell ill, Principal Beard,

7600
04:28:55,953 --> 04:28:57,788
acting as the King's chaplain,

7601
04:28:57,788 --> 04:29:01,425
requested permission to visit him and offer prayers.

7602
04:29:01,425 --> 04:29:03,760
The surgeon's response was curt.

7603
04:29:03,760 --> 04:29:07,231
He claimed he wanted a physician, not a parson.

7604
04:29:07,231 --> 04:29:08,665
Despite his recovery,

7605
04:29:08,665 --> 04:29:10,267
he developed a dislike for me

7606
04:29:10,267 --> 04:29:12,636
after seeing me in his ward. One day.

7607
04:29:12,636 --> 04:29:15,239
However, there was another patient in that ward,

7608
04:29:15,239 --> 04:29:18,542
a good hearted man under the care of the same surgeon.

7609
04:29:18,542 --> 04:29:21,345
Whenever he saw me, he would express.

7610
04:29:21,345 --> 04:29:23,247
Here is Mr. Flockhart coming.

7611
04:29:23,247 --> 04:29:26,416
He is a good man and brings us good tidings.

7612
04:29:26,416 --> 04:29:28,485
Such kind words of encouragement

7613
04:29:28,485 --> 04:29:30,254
endeared me to that Ward,

7614
04:29:30,254 --> 04:29:31,722
and I continued to visit it

7615
04:29:31,722 --> 04:29:34,158
with a sense of attachment thereafter.

7616
04:29:34,158 --> 04:29:36,827
One day, while I was deep in prayer on my knees,

7617
04:29:36,827 --> 04:29:38,762
a surgeon sent his clerk to interrupt

7618
04:29:38,762 --> 04:29:41,131
me and summoned me to speak with him.

7619
04:29:41,131 --> 04:29:44,268
Despite the interruption, I persisted in my prayer,

7620
04:29:44,268 --> 04:29:44,701
crying out

7621
04:29:44,701 --> 04:29:46,003
to God for his intervention

7622
04:29:46,003 --> 04:29:48,172
in the hearts of those who opposed me.

7623
04:29:48,172 --> 04:29:50,974
The surgeon waited until I had finished praying, then

7624
04:29:50,974 --> 04:29:51,842
approached me

7625
04:29:51,842 --> 04:29:54,778
and asked why I hadn't responded to a summons.

7626
04:29:54,778 --> 04:29:56,346
I explained that I was engaged

7627
04:29:56,346 --> 04:29:57,714
in speaking to the Lord in prayer

7628
04:29:57,714 --> 04:30:00,050
for both myself and the patients.

7629
04:30:00,050 --> 04:30:02,252
But now that my prayer had concluded,

7630
04:30:02,252 --> 04:30:03,787
I was prepared to listen to him.

7631
04:30:03,787 --> 04:30:06,857
With all due respect, as it was my duty.

7632
04:30:06,857 --> 04:30:07,691
In response,

7633
04:30:07,691 --> 04:30:09,426
he threatened to instruct the gatekeeper

7634
04:30:09,426 --> 04:30:12,963
of the infirmary to deny me entry in the future.

7635
04:30:12,963 --> 04:30:15,032
I later spoke to the gatekeeper about this,

7636
04:30:15,032 --> 04:30:17,434
informing him of the surgeon's threat.

7637
04:30:17,434 --> 04:30:18,235
To my relief.

7638
04:30:18,235 --> 04:30:19,403
The gatekeeper assured me

7639
04:30:19,403 --> 04:30:21,772
that he would only take orders from the managers,

7640
04:30:21,772 --> 04:30:23,473
not the doctors.

7641
04:30:23,473 --> 04:30:26,977
Despite my efforts to avoid causing offense to anyone,

7642
04:30:26,977 --> 04:30:30,480
I still faced persecution in the Church of God.

7643
04:30:30,480 --> 04:30:31,949
I endured persecution

7644
04:30:31,949 --> 04:30:34,151
from another medical professional.

7645
04:30:34,151 --> 04:30:35,118
On one occasion

7646
04:30:35,118 --> 04:30:38,088
while I was engaged in prayer with my hat beside me.

7647
04:30:38,088 --> 04:30:39,756
This gentleman entered the room

7648
04:30:39,756 --> 04:30:43,026
and attempted to place my hat on my head with a stick.

7649
04:30:43,026 --> 04:30:45,662
I shook it off and continued praying.

7650
04:30:45,662 --> 04:30:47,764
Enraged, he stormed out of the ward

7651
04:30:47,764 --> 04:30:49,266
until I had finished.

7652
04:30:49,266 --> 04:30:51,034
Upon my completion,

7653
04:30:51,034 --> 04:30:53,503
he returned like a lion and threatened.

7654
04:30:53,503 --> 04:30:57,241
If I see you here again, I will tar and feather you.

7655
04:30:57,241 --> 04:30:58,842
In response, I remarked,

7656
04:30:58,842 --> 04:31:01,011
I am surprised that a minister's son

7657
04:31:01,011 --> 04:31:02,879
would utter such words.

7658
04:31:02,879 --> 04:31:05,649
Fortunately, he did not act on his threat.

7659
04:31:05,649 --> 04:31:06,583
In the aftermath,

7660
04:31:06,583 --> 04:31:08,151
I made a point to visit his ward

7661
04:31:08,151 --> 04:31:09,419
while he was at dinner.

7662
04:31:09,419 --> 04:31:12,356
In an attempt to avoid further confrontation.

7663
04:31:12,356 --> 04:31:12,990
One day,

7664
04:31:12,990 --> 04:31:13,890
while I was carrying out

7665
04:31:13,890 --> 04:31:15,993
my usual duties in the infirmary,

7666
04:31:15,993 --> 04:31:16,893
a group of students

7667
04:31:16,893 --> 04:31:18,295
surrounded me and attempted

7668
04:31:18,295 --> 04:31:20,731
to forcibly removed me from the ward.

7669
04:31:20,731 --> 04:31:23,834
I held onto an iron bedstead with all my strength,

7670
04:31:23,834 --> 04:31:27,204
causing it to move along with me as they pulled.

7671
04:31:27,204 --> 04:31:30,407
Their efforts were futile and they eventually gave up

7672
04:31:30,407 --> 04:31:32,042
and left me alone.

7673
04:31:32,042 --> 04:31:34,511
Despite facing such opposition,

7674
04:31:34,511 --> 04:31:37,080
I remained steadfast in my resolve.

7675
04:31:37,080 --> 04:31:39,449
I was aware of the Lord's presence with me,

7676
04:31:39,449 --> 04:31:40,751
and I found that my efforts

7677
04:31:40,751 --> 04:31:43,987
to enrich the souls of my fellow men were successful.

7678
04:31:43,987 --> 04:31:47,491
Despite the opposition from the forces of darkness,

7679
04:31:47,491 --> 04:31:49,593
occasionally I would preach for Mr.

7680
04:31:49,593 --> 04:31:51,461
Porteus in a room designated

7681
04:31:51,461 --> 04:31:53,630
for that purpose within the infirmary.

7682
04:31:53,630 --> 04:31:54,698
On these occasions,

7683
04:31:54,698 --> 04:31:56,033
all the patients who were able to

7684
04:31:56,033 --> 04:31:58,201
attend were invited to join us.

7685
04:31:58,201 --> 04:32:01,171
One day, a Catholic priest arrived to administer

7686
04:32:01,171 --> 04:32:03,407
extreme unction to a young woman

7687
04:32:03,407 --> 04:32:05,575
who appeared to be dying from fever.

7688
04:32:05,575 --> 04:32:07,210
As he approached the bedside.

7689
04:32:07,210 --> 04:32:09,980
He began muttering rapid Latin prayers.

7690
04:32:09,980 --> 04:32:12,182
Witnessing this, I immediately knelt down,

7691
04:32:12,182 --> 04:32:14,651
and as the priest continued in Latin,

7692
04:32:14,651 --> 04:32:16,920
I began praying aloud in English.

7693
04:32:16,920 --> 04:32:18,055
Unlike the priest,

7694
04:32:18,055 --> 04:32:19,323
I prayed in a language

7695
04:32:19,323 --> 04:32:21,792
that everyone present could understand.

7696
04:32:21,792 --> 04:32:22,693
In my prayer,

7697
04:32:22,693 --> 04:32:24,795
I directed my words at the priest,

7698
04:32:24,795 --> 04:32:25,829
entreating the Lord

7699
04:32:25,829 --> 04:32:26,997
to have mercy on those

7700
04:32:26,997 --> 04:32:28,532
who allowed themselves to be deceived

7701
04:32:28,532 --> 04:32:30,300
by Popish superstitions,

7702
04:32:30,300 --> 04:32:33,603
placing their trust in man instead of God.

7703
04:32:33,603 --> 04:32:36,673
My prayer caused the priests to tremble with fear.

7704
04:32:36,673 --> 04:32:37,808
He became visibly

7705
04:32:37,808 --> 04:32:39,609
shaken and approached the nurse,

7706
04:32:39,609 --> 04:32:42,079
requesting that she silence me.

7707
04:32:42,079 --> 04:32:43,780
However, the nurse informed him

7708
04:32:43,780 --> 04:32:45,382
that she couldn't intervene

7709
04:32:45,382 --> 04:32:48,018
as I had permission to be there at any time.

7710
04:32:48,018 --> 04:32:50,787
Undeterred, I persisted in prayer until the priest

7711
04:32:50,787 --> 04:32:52,556
hastily left the ward.

7712
04:32:52,556 --> 04:32:54,391
After the priest departed.

7713
04:32:54,391 --> 04:32:55,792
I approached the young woman

7714
04:32:55,792 --> 04:32:57,594
and encouraged her to turn to the Lord

7715
04:32:57,594 --> 04:32:59,629
Jesus Christ in prayer.

7716
04:32:59,629 --> 04:33:02,432
I assured her that he would send the Holy Spirit

7717
04:33:02,432 --> 04:33:05,569
to anoint her soul with the divine unction from above,

7718
04:33:05,569 --> 04:33:07,037
leading her to repentance

7719
04:33:07,037 --> 04:33:10,374
toward God and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

7720
04:33:10,374 --> 04:33:12,542
I now proceed to mention another case.

7721
04:33:12,542 --> 04:33:14,444
A young woman was brought into the hospital

7722
04:33:14,444 --> 04:33:16,380
in a very distressing state of mind,

7723
04:33:16,380 --> 04:33:18,081
as well as a body.

7724
04:33:18,081 --> 04:33:20,484
As she neared her, and her condition worsened,

7725
04:33:20,484 --> 04:33:21,251
and her cries

7726
04:33:21,251 --> 04:33:22,619
and lamentations alarmed

7727
04:33:22,619 --> 04:33:25,188
both patients and nurses in the ward.

7728
04:33:25,188 --> 04:33:26,490
She expressed feeling

7729
04:33:26,490 --> 04:33:28,692
as if there was fire in her bosom,

7730
04:33:28,692 --> 04:33:30,494
attempting to quell it by consuming

7731
04:33:30,494 --> 04:33:32,496
copious amounts of cold water.

7732
04:33:32,496 --> 04:33:32,996
The nurse

7733
04:33:32,996 --> 04:33:35,132
attending her informed me that she drank

7734
04:33:35,132 --> 04:33:36,967
an entire pitcher of water,

7735
04:33:36,967 --> 04:33:38,335
only for it to be expelled

7736
04:33:38,335 --> 04:33:40,871
from her body as quickly as she drank it.

7737
04:33:40,871 --> 04:33:42,672
It became apparent that her distress

7738
04:33:42,672 --> 04:33:43,440
and remorse

7739
04:33:43,440 --> 04:33:45,075
stemmed from having given birth

7740
04:33:45,075 --> 04:33:46,910
to an illegitimate child.

7741
04:33:46,910 --> 04:33:48,678
May her untimely and profoundly

7742
04:33:48,678 --> 04:33:50,147
distressing passing

7743
04:33:50,147 --> 04:33:52,949
serve as a beacon and a warning to others.

7744
04:33:52,949 --> 04:33:54,451
When tempted to transgress

7745
04:33:54,451 --> 04:33:56,386
the laws of God and society,

7746
04:33:56,386 --> 04:33:57,921
may they recall the fate of this

7747
04:33:57,921 --> 04:33:59,823
unfortunate young woman.

7748
04:33:59,823 --> 04:34:01,525
During my visits to the hospital,

7749
04:34:01,525 --> 04:34:03,527
I encountered another case strikingly

7750
04:34:03,527 --> 04:34:05,495
similar to the one just described,

7751
04:34:05,495 --> 04:34:07,364
which I feel compelled to share

7752
04:34:07,364 --> 04:34:08,732
as an additional cautionary

7753
04:34:08,732 --> 04:34:10,967
tale for young women in service

7754
04:34:10,967 --> 04:34:13,003
in a respectable household in Edinburgh,

7755
04:34:13,003 --> 04:34:14,838
where several servants were employed.

7756
04:34:14,838 --> 04:34:18,108
One of them attempted suicide by cutting her throat.

7757
04:34:18,108 --> 04:34:19,609
Fortunately, she was discovered

7758
04:34:19,609 --> 04:34:21,044
before her life ebbed away,

7759
04:34:21,044 --> 04:34:23,513
and she was promptly taken to the infirmary.

7760
04:34:23,513 --> 04:34:25,916
The doctors managed to stop the bleeding,

7761
04:34:25,916 --> 04:34:27,317
stitched up the wound

7762
04:34:27,317 --> 04:34:28,552
and inserted a silver

7763
04:34:28,552 --> 04:34:31,822
tube into her throat to aid in breathing and speaking.

7764
04:34:31,822 --> 04:34:32,656
During her time

7765
04:34:32,656 --> 04:34:34,758
receiving medical care in the hospital,

7766
04:34:34,758 --> 04:34:36,493
I made frequent visits to offer

7767
04:34:36,493 --> 04:34:38,428
not only spiritual solace,

7768
04:34:38,428 --> 04:34:40,530
but also to guide her in acknowledging

7769
04:34:40,530 --> 04:34:41,164
the gravity

7770
04:34:41,164 --> 04:34:44,468
of her transgressions against God and her own soul.

7771
04:34:44,468 --> 04:34:46,703
Here are the details of her case.

7772
04:34:46,703 --> 04:34:48,939
She had conceived an illegitimate child

7773
04:34:48,939 --> 04:34:50,173
with a blacksmith,

7774
04:34:50,173 --> 04:34:51,908
and in an attempt to conceal her

7775
04:34:51,908 --> 04:34:55,345
disgrace, had murdered the infant and hidden its body

7776
04:34:55,345 --> 04:34:56,613
in her chest.

7777
04:34:56,613 --> 04:34:59,349
Her suspicions were aroused by her fellow servants,

7778
04:34:59,349 --> 04:35:02,519
who informed their master, leading to a search.

7779
04:35:02,519 --> 04:35:04,521
As a result, her trunk was opened,

7780
04:35:04,521 --> 04:35:05,889
revealing the lifeless body

7781
04:35:05,889 --> 04:35:08,191
of the infant concealed within.

7782
04:35:08,191 --> 04:35:10,760
Upon the discovery of the infant's body,

7783
04:35:10,760 --> 04:35:12,062
the unfortunate woman

7784
04:35:12,062 --> 04:35:14,564
attempted suicide by cutting her throat,

7785
04:35:14,564 --> 04:35:15,699
resulting in her being

7786
04:35:15,699 --> 04:35:17,400
brought to the hospital in the condition

7787
04:35:17,400 --> 04:35:19,269
previously described.

7788
04:35:19,269 --> 04:35:22,606
Upon learning her history and witnessing her state,

7789
04:35:22,606 --> 04:35:26,042
I felt deeply moved and concerned for her salvation.

7790
04:35:26,042 --> 04:35:28,712
Once she was deemed fit to leave the infirmary,

7791
04:35:28,712 --> 04:35:31,114
arrangements were made for her to stay in lodgings

7792
04:35:31,114 --> 04:35:33,149
provided by the blacksmith.

7793
04:35:33,149 --> 04:35:33,783
I followed her

7794
04:35:33,783 --> 04:35:35,151
there, still deeply troubled

7795
04:35:35,151 --> 04:35:37,187
for her spiritual well-being.

7796
04:35:37,187 --> 04:35:39,256
I explained to her that she had committed

7797
04:35:39,256 --> 04:35:41,024
two grievous crimes

7798
04:35:41,024 --> 04:35:42,392
the murder of her child

7799
04:35:42,392 --> 04:35:44,761
and the attempted destruction of her own soul

7800
04:35:44,761 --> 04:35:46,563
as well as her body.

7801
04:35:46,563 --> 04:35:49,032
I made her realize that had she perished in the state

7802
04:35:49,032 --> 04:35:50,600
in which she was discovered,

7803
04:35:50,600 --> 04:35:52,969
she would have faced eternal damnation.

7804
04:35:52,969 --> 04:35:53,537
There was yet

7805
04:35:53,537 --> 04:35:54,771
another case that closely

7806
04:35:54,771 --> 04:35:56,873
resembled the two previous ones.

7807
04:35:56,873 --> 04:35:58,708
A woman residing in the West port

7808
04:35:58,708 --> 04:36:02,379
gave birth to a child, whom she subsequently murdered

7809
04:36:02,379 --> 04:36:05,682
and buried beneath a pile of stones behind the castle.

7810
04:36:05,682 --> 04:36:07,951
Overwhelmed with guilt and anguish,

7811
04:36:07,951 --> 04:36:09,920
she nearly lost her sanity.

7812
04:36:09,920 --> 04:36:11,087
In her desperate state,

7813
04:36:11,087 --> 04:36:12,322
she went to the police office

7814
04:36:12,322 --> 04:36:14,824
at the head of the West Port and surrendered herself.

7815
04:36:14,824 --> 04:36:16,960
The authorities brought her to the infirmary,

7816
04:36:16,960 --> 04:36:18,862
where she was placed in the iron Ward,

7817
04:36:18,862 --> 04:36:20,830
restrained in a straight waistcoat

7818
04:36:20,830 --> 04:36:23,033
with her feet tied to the bed frame.

7819
04:36:23,033 --> 04:36:24,868
I visited her, employing

7820
04:36:24,868 --> 04:36:28,071
all scriptural means to alleviate her despair.

7821
04:36:28,071 --> 04:36:31,141
I prayed fervently for her, invoking the command

7822
04:36:31,141 --> 04:36:32,909
to put me in remembrance.

7823
04:36:32,909 --> 04:36:34,611
I reminded the Lord of his own prayer

7824
04:36:34,611 --> 04:36:36,012
for his murderers.

7825
04:36:36,012 --> 04:36:39,849
Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

7826
04:36:39,849 --> 04:36:43,386
Unfortunately, despite my prayers and exhortations,

7827
04:36:43,386 --> 04:36:46,056
I saw no evidence of a transformative change

7828
04:36:46,056 --> 04:36:48,425
in the mind of this unfortunate woman.

7829
04:36:48,425 --> 04:36:50,660
She recounted that the image of her child

7830
04:36:50,660 --> 04:36:52,796
haunted her incessantly.

7831
04:36:52,796 --> 04:36:54,965
Tragically, she passed away in

7832
04:36:54,965 --> 04:36:56,800
this most wretched state.

7833
04:36:56,800 --> 04:36:58,835
During my visits to the infirmary.

7834
04:36:58,835 --> 04:37:00,270
I witnessed numerous scenes

7835
04:37:00,270 --> 04:37:03,640
that I deemed unwise to recount or even allude to.

7836
04:37:03,640 --> 04:37:06,409
However, the cases I have shared provide a glimpse

7837
04:37:06,409 --> 04:37:09,212
into the types of situations I encountered.

7838
04:37:09,212 --> 04:37:11,715
I made regular visits to the hospital

7839
04:37:11,715 --> 04:37:13,416
where I encountered a different

7840
04:37:13,416 --> 04:37:15,752
but equally challenging environment.

7841
04:37:15,752 --> 04:37:18,888
Surprisingly, from what I observed and heard, there,

7842
04:37:18,888 --> 04:37:19,456
I harbored

7843
04:37:19,456 --> 04:37:20,156
more hope

7844
04:37:20,156 --> 04:37:21,725
for the conversion of the women

7845
04:37:21,725 --> 04:37:23,660
engaged in prostitution

7846
04:37:23,660 --> 04:37:26,696
than for many of the individuals previously mentioned.

7847
04:37:26,696 --> 04:37:29,899
My prayers and admonitions often stirred tears

7848
04:37:29,899 --> 04:37:32,402
in the eyes of these unfortunate souls.

7849
04:37:32,402 --> 04:37:33,770
As I prepared to leave.

7850
04:37:33,770 --> 04:37:35,271
They would follow me to the door,

7851
04:37:35,271 --> 04:37:36,539
pleading for assistance

7852
04:37:36,539 --> 04:37:37,340
and guidance

7853
04:37:37,340 --> 04:37:40,677
to escape their sinful and miserable lifestyles.

7854
04:37:40,677 --> 04:37:41,611
In response,

7855
04:37:41,611 --> 04:37:42,579
I would advise them

7856
04:37:42,579 --> 04:37:45,582
to seek admission into the Magdalene Asylum under Mr.

7857
04:37:45,582 --> 04:37:47,150
Purchaser's care.

7858
04:37:47,150 --> 04:37:49,819
I went to the lock hospital of my own accord,

7859
04:37:49,819 --> 04:37:52,589
out of love to Christ and to save souls.

7860
04:37:52,589 --> 04:37:53,523
Having myself

7861
04:37:53,523 --> 04:37:55,458
first been brought to a knowledge of the truth

7862
04:37:55,458 --> 04:37:56,693
and in hospital,

7863
04:37:56,693 --> 04:37:57,227
I thought it

7864
04:37:57,227 --> 04:37:58,862
my imperative duty to strive

7865
04:37:58,862 --> 04:38:01,131
to do for others in my own country

7866
04:38:01,131 --> 04:38:04,200
what God had done for me in a foreign land.

7867
04:38:04,200 --> 04:38:06,803
I therefore preach the gospel during the day

7868
04:38:06,803 --> 04:38:09,606
and prayed for a blessing upon it during the night.

7869
04:38:09,606 --> 04:38:12,175
As I endeavored to nurture and support others,

7870
04:38:12,175 --> 04:38:15,178
the Lord graciously nourished my own soul.

7871
04:38:15,178 --> 04:38:17,881
Thus, my work became not only beneficial,

7872
04:38:17,881 --> 04:38:20,016
but also deeply fulfilling.

7873
04:38:20,016 --> 04:38:21,651
I earnestly hope and trust

7874
04:38:21,651 --> 04:38:23,286
that on the Day of Judgment,

7875
04:38:23,286 --> 04:38:24,387
it will be evident

7876
04:38:24,387 --> 04:38:26,389
that my efforts have not been in vain

7877
04:38:26,389 --> 04:38:27,991
in the eyes of the Lord.

7878
04:38:27,991 --> 04:38:31,227
I also made visits to Canongate Gaol on behalf of Mr.

7879
04:38:31,227 --> 04:38:34,631
Porteous, and on Sundays I would attend Bridewell,

7880
04:38:34,631 --> 04:38:36,733
as well as the trades made in hospital,

7881
04:38:36,733 --> 04:38:42,172
among other public institutions.

7882
04:38:42,172 --> 04:38:43,473
Chapter 14

7883
04:38:43,473 --> 04:38:45,075
steadfast in the streets

7884
04:38:45,075 --> 04:38:47,644
the trials of evangelism in Edinburgh.

7885
04:38:47,644 --> 04:38:49,713
Now I come to another aspect of my journey

7886
04:38:49,713 --> 04:38:51,147
as a street preacher in Edinburgh,

7887
04:38:51,147 --> 04:38:53,216
which I omitted to mention earlier.

7888
04:38:53,216 --> 04:38:55,151
As readers of these pages will recall,

7889
04:38:55,151 --> 04:38:58,254
I began my public speaking endeavors in the castle

7890
04:38:58,254 --> 04:39:01,224
on one occasion, while stationed at the Main guard

7891
04:39:01,224 --> 04:39:02,892
during my time in the castle.

7892
04:39:02,892 --> 04:39:06,663
I encountered a soldier who was cursing and swearing.

7893
04:39:06,663 --> 04:39:09,165
I took it upon myself to reprimand him

7894
04:39:09,165 --> 04:39:12,902
and explain the harmful consequences of his behavior.

7895
04:39:12,902 --> 04:39:16,539
As I became increasingly impassioned in my admonition,

7896
04:39:16,539 --> 04:39:19,375
the senior lieutenant colonel happened to approach

7897
04:39:19,375 --> 04:39:21,010
with authority in his voice.

7898
04:39:21,010 --> 04:39:23,213
He instructed the officer of the guard

7899
04:39:23,213 --> 04:39:24,714
to relieve me of my duties

7900
04:39:24,714 --> 04:39:26,883
and forbid me from further duties.

7901
04:39:26,883 --> 04:39:29,018
This news filled me with joy,

7902
04:39:29,018 --> 04:39:31,020
and I promptly gathered my equipment

7903
04:39:31,020 --> 04:39:32,822
and made my way home.

7904
04:39:32,822 --> 04:39:35,792
I now began to preach through the streets of Edinburgh

7905
04:39:35,792 --> 04:39:37,861
wherever I saw a man committing sin.

7906
04:39:37,861 --> 04:39:39,229
I reproved him,

7907
04:39:39,229 --> 04:39:41,798
and then a multitude would gather round me.

7908
04:39:41,798 --> 04:39:43,466
I would then begin to speak to them

7909
04:39:43,466 --> 04:39:45,235
from a text of Scripture,

7910
04:39:45,235 --> 04:39:46,603
and would continue to speak,

7911
04:39:46,603 --> 04:39:49,205
so long as there was anyone to hear.

7912
04:39:49,205 --> 04:39:51,241
Then the policemen would lay hold of me

7913
04:39:51,241 --> 04:39:53,543
and drag me off to the police office.

7914
04:39:53,543 --> 04:39:55,945
Each time my wife would come to my aid,

7915
04:39:55,945 --> 04:39:58,915
securing my release and without hesitation

7916
04:39:58,915 --> 04:40:00,717
I would resume preaching.

7917
04:40:00,717 --> 04:40:03,052
My efforts took me to various locations,

7918
04:40:03,052 --> 04:40:05,355
including Buccleuch Street in Lauriston,

7919
04:40:05,355 --> 04:40:08,358
where I resided, as well as Westport and Grassmarket.

7920
04:40:08,358 --> 04:40:11,394
Sharing my message with all who would listen,

7921
04:40:11,394 --> 04:40:13,830
I found myself detained in the Westport Police office

7922
04:40:13,830 --> 04:40:16,232
for time for sharing the gospel

7923
04:40:16,232 --> 04:40:17,801
once in Ho Park, and again

7924
04:40:17,801 --> 04:40:20,503
for preaching in Castle Hill and High Street.

7925
04:40:20,503 --> 04:40:22,005
In total, my dedication

7926
04:40:22,005 --> 04:40:23,706
to spreading the gospel in Edinburgh

7927
04:40:23,706 --> 04:40:26,209
led to about 9 or 10 arrests.

7928
04:40:26,209 --> 04:40:27,076
Captain Brown,

7929
04:40:27,076 --> 04:40:27,977
the head of the police

7930
04:40:27,977 --> 04:40:30,146
who had served in the 79th Regiment,

7931
04:40:30,146 --> 04:40:33,016
was influenced by his Irish wife to hire predominantly

7932
04:40:33,016 --> 04:40:34,384
Irish officers.

7933
04:40:34,384 --> 04:40:37,086
These officers were particularly harsh, with me

7934
04:40:37,086 --> 04:40:39,322
unable to tolerate my preaching,

7935
04:40:39,322 --> 04:40:41,391
which was designed not to please people

7936
04:40:41,391 --> 04:40:43,293
but to convey the truth.

7937
04:40:43,293 --> 04:40:45,094
I was inspired by the Lord's command

7938
04:40:45,094 --> 04:40:48,364
to Jonah to deliver the message as directed, knowing

7939
04:40:48,364 --> 04:40:50,700
well that deviating from this directive would mean

7940
04:40:50,700 --> 04:40:53,036
I was not serving the Lord faithfully.

7941
04:40:53,036 --> 04:40:53,970
On one occasion,

7942
04:40:53,970 --> 04:40:56,239
while I was incarcerated for preaching,

7943
04:40:56,239 --> 04:40:58,208
Captain Brown sought me out,

7944
04:40:58,208 --> 04:41:00,877
curious to hear me preach firsthand.

7945
04:41:00,877 --> 04:41:02,478
Standing as ordered,

7946
04:41:02,478 --> 04:41:04,747
I delivered a message that affected him,

7947
04:41:04,747 --> 04:41:08,585
reminiscent of how Felix reacted to Paul's preaching.

7948
04:41:08,585 --> 04:41:09,485
Captain Brown

7949
04:41:09,485 --> 04:41:11,187
acknowledged my ability to preach

7950
04:41:11,187 --> 04:41:13,389
before allowing me to step down.

7951
04:41:13,389 --> 04:41:14,490
I saw it as my duty

7952
04:41:14,490 --> 04:41:16,659
to preach to the policemen in whichever station

7953
04:41:16,659 --> 04:41:17,827
I found myself.

7954
04:41:17,827 --> 04:41:19,262
Considering it possible

7955
04:41:19,262 --> 04:41:20,563
that the Lord had placed me

7956
04:41:20,563 --> 04:41:22,832
there specifically to reach them.

7957
04:41:22,832 --> 04:41:24,567
Despite the frequent arrests,

7958
04:41:24,567 --> 04:41:25,768
I noticed that the police

7959
04:41:25,768 --> 04:41:27,871
were often eager to release me,

7960
04:41:27,871 --> 04:41:30,273
perhaps indicating that my message,

7961
04:41:30,273 --> 04:41:31,841
while unwelcome at first,

7962
04:41:31,841 --> 04:41:33,409
left a lasting impact

7963
04:41:33,409 --> 04:41:36,079
even in the confines of a police office.

7964
04:41:36,079 --> 04:41:38,281
I spent time preaching on Calton Hill

7965
04:41:38,281 --> 04:41:39,883
and in the King's Park,

7966
04:41:39,883 --> 04:41:42,218
especially on Sabbath evenings.

7967
04:41:42,218 --> 04:41:44,254
On one occasion, at the base of Newry Street,

7968
04:41:44,254 --> 04:41:45,255
I witnessed two women

7969
04:41:45,255 --> 04:41:47,891
attempting to lure soldiers into their residence.

7970
04:41:47,891 --> 04:41:50,860
I raised my voice to warn the soldiers, exclaiming

7971
04:41:50,860 --> 04:41:53,129
beware, soldiers, beware!

7972
04:41:53,129 --> 04:41:55,398
Entering that house is akin to walking the path

7973
04:41:55,398 --> 04:41:58,668
to hell, descending into the chambers of death.

7974
04:41:58,668 --> 04:41:59,569
My loud caution

7975
04:41:59,569 --> 04:42:01,271
caused a commotion in the neighborhood,

7976
04:42:01,271 --> 04:42:04,007
prompting the women to retreat into their dwelling,

7977
04:42:04,007 --> 04:42:06,843
while the embarrassed soldiers quickly dispersed

7978
04:42:06,843 --> 04:42:08,978
with the crowd that had gathered around me.

7979
04:42:08,978 --> 04:42:11,614
I seized the opportunity to preach.

7980
04:42:11,614 --> 04:42:13,650
My sermon was abruptly interrupted

7981
04:42:13,650 --> 04:42:16,286
when a man doused me with a bucket of water.

7982
04:42:16,286 --> 04:42:18,288
This man, a dyer living nearby,

7983
04:42:18,288 --> 04:42:20,356
acted on his wife's behalf.

7984
04:42:20,356 --> 04:42:21,991
She, observing my earlier

7985
04:42:21,991 --> 04:42:24,394
rebuke directed at the soldiers and the women,

7986
04:42:24,394 --> 04:42:27,430
mistakenly felt targeted and persuaded her husband

7987
04:42:27,430 --> 04:42:29,432
to take this drastic measure.

7988
04:42:29,432 --> 04:42:31,501
Far from dampening my spirit,

7989
04:42:31,501 --> 04:42:33,970
this incident only fueled my zeal.

7990
04:42:33,970 --> 04:42:35,772
My fervor for saving souls

7991
04:42:35,772 --> 04:42:38,041
intensified, capturing the crowd's

7992
04:42:38,041 --> 04:42:39,809
attention more deeply

7993
04:42:39,809 --> 04:42:40,710
as I continued

7994
04:42:40,710 --> 04:42:44,047
to share my message with undiminished passion.

7995
04:42:44,047 --> 04:42:45,715
During one of my preaching sessions,

7996
04:42:45,715 --> 04:42:47,016
a man named Campbell,

7997
04:42:47,016 --> 04:42:48,685
a shoemaker known for his excessive

7998
04:42:48,685 --> 04:42:50,853
drinking, was among the audience.

7999
04:42:50,853 --> 04:42:52,255
It turned out that my words

8000
04:42:52,255 --> 04:42:54,090
had a profound impact on him,

8001
04:42:54,090 --> 04:42:56,426
as I later learned directly from him.

8002
04:42:56,426 --> 04:42:59,228
Curious about the specific remark that had sparked

8003
04:42:59,228 --> 04:43:02,532
such a positive transformation in him, I inquired.

8004
04:43:02,532 --> 04:43:05,201
He told me that the turning point came from a passage

8005
04:43:05,201 --> 04:43:08,304
in Deuteronomy 3229 which reads,

8006
04:43:08,304 --> 04:43:09,605
oh, that they were wise,

8007
04:43:09,605 --> 04:43:11,140
that they understood this,

8008
04:43:11,140 --> 04:43:13,643
that they would consider their latter end.

8009
04:43:13,643 --> 04:43:16,346
This piece of wisdom was originally shared by Moses

8010
04:43:16,346 --> 04:43:18,982
with the children of Israel before his departure.

8011
04:43:18,982 --> 04:43:20,616
Motivated by his response,

8012
04:43:20,616 --> 04:43:23,186
I continued to observe Campbell's behavior

8013
04:43:23,186 --> 04:43:24,954
for the remainder of his life.

8014
04:43:24,954 --> 04:43:25,922
His conduct

8015
04:43:25,922 --> 04:43:27,523
to my observation

8016
04:43:27,523 --> 04:43:30,593
remained consistent with his Christian declaration.

8017
04:43:30,593 --> 04:43:33,229
He passed away, appearing to maintain his faith,

8018
04:43:33,229 --> 04:43:33,930
a testament

8019
04:43:33,930 --> 04:43:35,164
to the enduring impact

8020
04:43:35,164 --> 04:43:36,632
of a single moment of reflection

8021
04:43:36,632 --> 04:43:38,501
inspired by Scripture.

8022
04:43:38,501 --> 04:43:39,135
After this,

8023
04:43:39,135 --> 04:43:40,503
I felt an earnest desire

8024
04:43:40,503 --> 04:43:42,271
to see the prisoners in the jail,

8025
04:43:42,271 --> 04:43:45,341
especially those who were under sentence of death.

8026
04:43:45,341 --> 04:43:46,743
My wish was gratified

8027
04:43:46,743 --> 04:43:49,112
and I was admitted into the prison.

8028
04:43:49,112 --> 04:43:52,415
At that time, a man named McIntyre was incarcerated,

8029
04:43:52,415 --> 04:43:53,783
facing a death sentence

8030
04:43:53,783 --> 04:43:56,552
due to his involvement in an attempted burglary

8031
04:43:56,552 --> 04:43:59,756
near Lothian Road, close to Isaac Scotts.

8032
04:43:59,756 --> 04:44:01,691
The vigilant policeman on duty

8033
04:44:01,691 --> 04:44:03,426
spotted the perpetrators,

8034
04:44:03,426 --> 04:44:07,163
initiating a chase that ended with McIntyre's capture

8035
04:44:07,163 --> 04:44:10,533
in the vicinity of the West Church, Poorhouse Green.

8036
04:44:10,533 --> 04:44:13,369
Despite his arrest, McIntyre chose silence

8037
04:44:13,369 --> 04:44:15,204
over betraying his associates,

8038
04:44:15,204 --> 04:44:17,073
who were subsequently apprehended

8039
04:44:17,073 --> 04:44:18,107
but later released

8040
04:44:18,107 --> 04:44:20,343
due to a lack of evidence against them.

8041
04:44:20,343 --> 04:44:23,446
McIntyre's trial proceeded, resulting in a conviction

8042
04:44:23,446 --> 04:44:26,115
for attempted burglary and a death sentence.

8043
04:44:26,115 --> 04:44:27,617
McIntyre shared with me

8044
04:44:27,617 --> 04:44:29,218
that his mother had imparted to him

8045
04:44:29,218 --> 04:44:31,354
a significant knowledge of the scriptures,

8046
04:44:31,354 --> 04:44:35,058
instilling in him a deep familiarity with God's Word.

8047
04:44:35,058 --> 04:44:36,459
He had lived in Glasgow,

8048
04:44:36,459 --> 04:44:37,560
a place where he enjoyed

8049
04:44:37,560 --> 04:44:39,362
the respect of many friends,

8050
04:44:39,362 --> 04:44:40,630
and was an active member

8051
04:44:40,630 --> 04:44:42,932
of the Glasgow Highland Society.

8052
04:44:42,932 --> 04:44:45,568
Despite the efforts of some influential members

8053
04:44:45,568 --> 04:44:46,369
of the society

8054
04:44:46,369 --> 04:44:48,137
to secure a pardon for him,

8055
04:44:48,137 --> 04:44:51,040
their attempts were ultimately unsuccessful.

8056
04:44:51,040 --> 04:44:52,075
I spent time with him

8057
04:44:52,075 --> 04:44:54,477
on the eve of his transfer to the lockup.

8058
04:44:54,477 --> 04:44:55,344
In those moments,

8059
04:44:55,344 --> 04:44:56,646
he confided in me,

8060
04:44:56,646 --> 04:44:59,282
revealing the thoughts and concerns of his heart

8061
04:44:59,282 --> 04:45:01,851
in a way he hadn't with a city clergyman

8062
04:45:01,851 --> 04:45:05,021
whom he found to be rather aloof and impersonal.

8063
04:45:05,021 --> 04:45:07,723
He expressed a resolve that, if pardoned,

8064
04:45:07,723 --> 04:45:09,425
he intended to dedicate himself

8065
04:45:09,425 --> 04:45:10,993
to ministering to fellow convicts

8066
04:45:10,993 --> 04:45:12,361
during his banishment.

8067
04:45:12,361 --> 04:45:13,830
During our conversation,

8068
04:45:13,830 --> 04:45:15,565
the clergyman entered McIntyre's

8069
04:45:15,565 --> 04:45:17,934
cell, bearing no good news.

8070
04:45:17,934 --> 04:45:19,869
He produced a letter from his pocket

8071
04:45:19,869 --> 04:45:22,772
confirming that McIntyre's appeal for clemency

8072
04:45:22,772 --> 04:45:25,308
would not be presented to the sovereign.

8073
04:45:25,308 --> 04:45:27,910
This news visibly distressed McIntyre.

8074
04:45:27,910 --> 04:45:30,213
The clergyman then excused himself,

8075
04:45:30,213 --> 04:45:34,150
entrusting me with the responsibility to offer counsel

8076
04:45:34,150 --> 04:45:38,721
and to pray with and for McIntyre in his time of need.

8077
04:45:38,721 --> 04:45:40,123
In the quiet of the cell

8078
04:45:40,123 --> 04:45:42,391
after the clergyman's departure,

8079
04:45:42,391 --> 04:45:45,495
I offered words of comfort to McIntyre,

8080
04:45:45,495 --> 04:45:47,697
emphasizing that while earthly mercy,

8081
04:45:47,697 --> 04:45:48,998
mighty loved him,

8082
04:45:48,998 --> 04:45:50,600
Divine Mercy through Christ

8083
04:45:50,600 --> 04:45:53,102
remained unconditionally available.

8084
04:45:53,102 --> 04:45:56,038
I reassured him that Jesus, the embodiment of grace

8085
04:45:56,038 --> 04:45:59,275
and salvation, stands ready to welcome all

8086
04:45:59,275 --> 04:46:03,079
who seek him, promising never to turn anyone away.

8087
04:46:03,079 --> 04:46:05,448
I further explained that through Christ's life,

8088
04:46:05,448 --> 04:46:09,318
his adherence to God's will in his sacrificial death,

8089
04:46:09,318 --> 04:46:12,421
he has conquered sin, offering eternal righteousness

8090
04:46:12,421 --> 04:46:13,756
to us all.

8091
04:46:13,756 --> 04:46:14,790
Moved to prayer,

8092
04:46:14,790 --> 04:46:16,058
we knelt together,

8093
04:46:16,058 --> 04:46:18,127
and in those moments, McIntyre's

8094
04:46:18,127 --> 04:46:18,828
earnest plea

8095
04:46:18,828 --> 04:46:20,830
for redemption and readiness to face

8096
04:46:20,830 --> 04:46:22,965
the Almighty were palpable.

8097
04:46:22,965 --> 04:46:24,567
Upon concluding our prayers,

8098
04:46:24,567 --> 04:46:28,271
he expressed a wish to sing, seeking solace in hymns.

8099
04:46:28,271 --> 04:46:30,640
When I inquired about his choice, he selected

8100
04:46:30,640 --> 04:46:33,576
the hour of my departure has come a reflection

8101
04:46:33,576 --> 04:46:35,511
of his acceptance of his fate,

8102
04:46:35,511 --> 04:46:36,946
and a testament to his faith

8103
04:46:36,946 --> 04:46:39,415
in the face of the ultimate transition.

8104
04:46:39,415 --> 04:46:40,349
While we sang,

8105
04:46:40,349 --> 04:46:43,119
I observed McIntyre's expression closely.

8106
04:46:43,119 --> 04:46:45,054
His soul seemed entirely absorbed

8107
04:46:45,054 --> 04:46:46,522
in the act of worship.

8108
04:46:46,522 --> 04:46:48,524
His devotion evident.

8109
04:46:48,524 --> 04:46:50,059
After we finished the hymn, Mr.

8110
04:46:50,059 --> 04:46:50,626
Porteous,

8111
04:46:50,626 --> 04:46:51,627
the chaplain,

8112
04:46:51,627 --> 04:46:54,997
brought in four men recently detained on suspicion.

8113
04:46:54,997 --> 04:46:56,265
Allowing McIntyre

8114
04:46:56,265 --> 04:46:58,701
a moment to impart some final wisdom.

8115
04:46:58,701 --> 04:46:59,702
In his address,

8116
04:46:59,702 --> 04:47:02,672
he urged them to flee from the wrath to come,

8117
04:47:02,672 --> 04:47:04,040
to seek repentance

8118
04:47:04,040 --> 04:47:06,676
and the remission of their sins from Jesus Christ,

8119
04:47:06,676 --> 04:47:08,277
who is exalted, to bestow

8120
04:47:08,277 --> 04:47:09,278
these blessings

8121
04:47:09,278 --> 04:47:12,615
upon all who sincerely and earnestly ask them.

8122
04:47:12,615 --> 04:47:14,717
He also spoke to them of the necessity

8123
04:47:14,717 --> 04:47:16,419
of praying for the Holy Spirit,

8124
04:47:16,419 --> 04:47:19,322
whose office it was to convince of sin,

8125
04:47:19,322 --> 04:47:22,191
and to make the sinner feel his miserable condition,

8126
04:47:22,191 --> 04:47:24,594
whilst he continued in sin.

8127
04:47:24,594 --> 04:47:25,361
Another reason,

8128
04:47:25,361 --> 04:47:25,861
he said, why

8129
04:47:25,861 --> 04:47:26,929
they should pray for the Holy

8130
04:47:26,929 --> 04:47:30,499
Spirit was because in the reading of the scriptures,

8131
04:47:30,499 --> 04:47:32,902
he enlightened the mind in the knowledge of Christ

8132
04:47:32,902 --> 04:47:33,402
and Him

8133
04:47:33,402 --> 04:47:36,772
crucified and renewed the will, and enabled us

8134
04:47:36,772 --> 04:47:38,007
to embrace the Savior

8135
04:47:38,007 --> 04:47:42,211
as our prophet, priest, and King to all, he said.

8136
04:47:42,211 --> 04:47:45,615
These four men paid the greatest attention because,

8137
04:47:45,615 --> 04:47:47,083
as it seemed to me,

8138
04:47:47,083 --> 04:47:48,918
their lives were in a great measure.

8139
04:47:48,918 --> 04:47:50,286
In his hand

8140
04:47:50,286 --> 04:47:53,889
had he informed upon them, as it is probable he could,

8141
04:47:53,889 --> 04:47:54,657
their lives

8142
04:47:54,657 --> 04:47:55,791
would have been forfeited

8143
04:47:55,791 --> 04:47:58,060
to the violated laws of their country.

8144
04:47:58,060 --> 04:47:59,562
In consequence, however,

8145
04:47:59,562 --> 04:48:01,831
perhaps, of the hasty expression,

8146
04:48:01,831 --> 04:48:03,299
I'll hang first,

8147
04:48:03,299 --> 04:48:04,800
to which he had given utterance

8148
04:48:04,800 --> 04:48:06,135
when first apprehended.

8149
04:48:06,135 --> 04:48:07,336
When asked to give the names

8150
04:48:07,336 --> 04:48:09,905
of his partners in the attempted robbery,

8151
04:48:09,905 --> 04:48:11,140
he still held out

8152
04:48:11,140 --> 04:48:12,908
and refused to give the authorities

8153
04:48:12,908 --> 04:48:14,777
the desired information.

8154
04:48:14,777 --> 04:48:15,511
In this case,

8155
04:48:15,511 --> 04:48:17,513
we can observe how faithful worldly men

8156
04:48:17,513 --> 04:48:18,948
are to one another.

8157
04:48:18,948 --> 04:48:20,049
This conduct provides

8158
04:48:20,049 --> 04:48:22,051
a valuable lesson for Christians.

8159
04:48:22,051 --> 04:48:24,520
If those who are following a path of wickedness

8160
04:48:24,520 --> 04:48:27,023
can remain loyal to their fellow wrongdoers,

8161
04:48:27,023 --> 04:48:28,190
then surely Christians

8162
04:48:28,190 --> 04:48:31,527
should be even more loyal to God and to one another.

8163
04:48:31,527 --> 04:48:33,229
Here is a man who essentially chose

8164
04:48:33,229 --> 04:48:34,363
to give up his life

8165
04:48:34,363 --> 04:48:37,233
rather than betray his partners in crime.

8166
04:48:37,233 --> 04:48:39,769
Had he decided to cooperate with the authorities,

8167
04:48:39,769 --> 04:48:41,604
he likely would have been freed.

8168
04:48:41,604 --> 04:48:43,639
However, he honored his commitment,

8169
04:48:43,639 --> 04:48:46,842
sacrificing his life to protect theirs.

8170
04:48:46,842 --> 04:48:48,811
How much more, then, should believers

8171
04:48:48,811 --> 04:48:50,513
be prepared to lay down their lives

8172
04:48:50,513 --> 04:48:56,819
for their brothers and sisters in faith?

8173
04:48:56,819 --> 04:48:58,087
Chapter 15

8174
04:48:58,087 --> 04:49:01,590
A Thief's Final Days from crime to condemnation.

8175
04:49:01,590 --> 04:49:03,092
I'm going to share the details

8176
04:49:03,092 --> 04:49:05,795
of another fascinating case that came to my attention.

8177
04:49:05,795 --> 04:49:08,364
It involved a man named Gilchrist from Edinburgh

8178
04:49:08,364 --> 04:49:10,066
who lived a comfortable life.

8179
04:49:10,066 --> 04:49:11,467
He was involved with a company

8180
04:49:11,467 --> 04:49:12,968
that operated stagecoaches

8181
04:49:12,968 --> 04:49:15,171
between Edinburgh and Glasgow.

8182
04:49:15,171 --> 04:49:16,172
Gilchrist learned that

8183
04:49:16,172 --> 04:49:18,374
a large amount of money was to be transported

8184
04:49:18,374 --> 04:49:19,542
from a Glasgow bank

8185
04:49:19,542 --> 04:49:22,411
to Edinburgh via one of his stagecoaches.

8186
04:49:22,411 --> 04:49:24,880
He disguised himself in women's clothing,

8187
04:49:24,880 --> 04:49:26,949
gathered tools to break into the chest

8188
04:49:26,949 --> 04:49:30,152
holding the money, and secured a seat on the coach.

8189
04:49:30,152 --> 04:49:31,253
After robbing it,

8190
04:49:31,253 --> 04:49:32,588
he left at the next stop

8191
04:49:32,588 --> 04:49:34,990
and changed back into his usual clothes.

8192
04:49:34,990 --> 04:49:36,158
However, suspicion

8193
04:49:36,158 --> 04:49:39,362
fell on him and his brother, leading to their arrest

8194
04:49:39,362 --> 04:49:42,098
eventually through indirect evidence.

8195
04:49:42,098 --> 04:49:44,233
One of them was sentenced to death.

8196
04:49:44,233 --> 04:49:47,002
When the prisoner found himself in the condemned cell,

8197
04:49:47,002 --> 04:49:48,704
he became extremely distressed

8198
04:49:48,704 --> 04:49:51,240
at the thought of his impending execution

8199
04:49:51,240 --> 04:49:53,175
and was very difficult to manage.

8200
04:49:53,175 --> 04:49:53,642
Mr.

8201
04:49:53,642 --> 04:49:55,711
Rose, the prison governor, decided

8202
04:49:55,711 --> 04:49:57,847
it would be helpful to have a devout individual

8203
04:49:57,847 --> 04:49:59,315
read the Bible to him

8204
04:49:59,315 --> 04:50:02,118
in an effort to calm his troubled mind.

8205
04:50:02,118 --> 04:50:02,551
Mr.

8206
04:50:02,551 --> 04:50:05,187
Rose requested my presence and I complied.

8207
04:50:05,187 --> 04:50:06,122
Upon arrival,

8208
04:50:06,122 --> 04:50:07,223
I encountered the prisoner

8209
04:50:07,223 --> 04:50:08,824
in a state of severe anxiety

8210
04:50:08,824 --> 04:50:10,259
and desperation,

8211
04:50:10,259 --> 04:50:12,962
hoping somehow his life might be spared.

8212
04:50:12,962 --> 04:50:14,930
He admitted his crimes, fully

8213
04:50:14,930 --> 04:50:16,832
thinking it might save him.

8214
04:50:16,832 --> 04:50:19,468
Unfortunately, his efforts were in vain

8215
04:50:19,468 --> 04:50:21,203
as his fate was sealed.

8216
04:50:21,203 --> 04:50:22,438
My responsibility

8217
04:50:22,438 --> 04:50:25,541
then shifted to helping him face his looming end.

8218
04:50:25,541 --> 04:50:28,444
I shared with him passages from the Bible

8219
04:50:28,444 --> 04:50:31,280
focusing on themes of death, judgment,

8220
04:50:31,280 --> 04:50:32,681
and the hereafter.

8221
04:50:32,681 --> 04:50:35,251
I aim to help him understand his sins,

8222
04:50:35,251 --> 04:50:37,186
both inherent and committed,

8223
04:50:37,186 --> 04:50:39,422
and then introduced him to the redemption

8224
04:50:39,422 --> 04:50:40,389
that God offers

8225
04:50:40,389 --> 04:50:42,725
through his boundless wisdom and mercy.

8226
04:50:42,725 --> 04:50:45,294
The prisoner appeared moved by our discussion,

8227
04:50:45,294 --> 04:50:46,262
and at that moment

8228
04:50:46,262 --> 04:50:49,632
I encouraged him to seek God's mercy through Christ.

8229
04:50:49,632 --> 04:50:52,368
I spent the last four nights alongside him

8230
04:50:52,368 --> 04:50:55,337
in the condemned cell at Calton Hill Jail

8231
04:50:55,337 --> 04:50:56,672
for the first three nights.

8232
04:50:56,672 --> 04:50:59,642
I harbored some hope for his spiritual conversion.

8233
04:50:59,642 --> 04:51:01,210
However, on the fourth night

8234
04:51:01,210 --> 04:51:03,112
he became wildly agitated,

8235
04:51:03,112 --> 04:51:06,449
waking in the middle of the night demanding a knife.

8236
04:51:06,449 --> 04:51:09,151
I unfortunately happened to have one in my pocket,

8237
04:51:09,151 --> 04:51:10,719
but I reassured him,

8238
04:51:10,719 --> 04:51:12,321
asking if he truly believed

8239
04:51:12,321 --> 04:51:14,356
I would bring a knife into the prison.

8240
04:51:14,356 --> 04:51:17,493
Nonetheless, he insisted furiously on having a knife.

8241
04:51:17,493 --> 04:51:19,295
I pleaded with him to calm down

8242
04:51:19,295 --> 04:51:21,630
and tried to soothe him with kind words.

8243
04:51:21,630 --> 04:51:24,033
But he stood before me with fists clenched,

8244
04:51:24,033 --> 04:51:25,801
as if ready to strike me.

8245
04:51:25,801 --> 04:51:29,071
He was a large, strong and intimidating man,

8246
04:51:29,071 --> 04:51:32,441
making me seem insignificant in comparison.

8247
04:51:32,441 --> 04:51:33,609
At that moment,

8248
04:51:33,609 --> 04:51:36,579
I felt utterly reliant on God's protection,

8249
04:51:36,579 --> 04:51:39,882
with my hand raised defensively and my eyes wide open.

8250
04:51:39,882 --> 04:51:43,519
I prayed out loud to the Lord with fervent sincerity.

8251
04:51:43,519 --> 04:51:44,920
My prayer was answered

8252
04:51:44,920 --> 04:51:47,857
and soon after, the prisoner calmed down completely,

8253
04:51:47,857 --> 04:51:51,227
becoming as gentle as a lamb, and lay back down.

8254
04:51:51,227 --> 04:51:53,963
The intense situation, especially in such a confined

8255
04:51:53,963 --> 04:51:57,233
space, left me feeling deeply exhausted.

8256
04:51:57,233 --> 04:51:59,368
I told Gilchrist I needed the door open,

8257
04:51:59,368 --> 04:52:00,736
but did so in a manner

8258
04:52:00,736 --> 04:52:03,272
that wouldn't suggest I was afraid of him.

8259
04:52:03,272 --> 04:52:05,708
I called out to the jailer to open the door,

8260
04:52:05,708 --> 04:52:07,576
but he didn't hear me at first.

8261
04:52:07,576 --> 04:52:10,980
The prisoner remarked, he'll not hear you.

8262
04:52:10,980 --> 04:52:14,450
I responded confidently, I will make him hear me,

8263
04:52:14,450 --> 04:52:17,286
and called out again, this time much louder.

8264
04:52:17,286 --> 04:52:19,088
The jailer heard me and called back.

8265
04:52:19,088 --> 04:52:20,356
What do you want?

8266
04:52:20,356 --> 04:52:21,223
I replied,

8267
04:52:21,223 --> 04:52:22,391
come and see,

8268
04:52:22,391 --> 04:52:25,227
prompting him to come and open the iron gate.

8269
04:52:25,227 --> 04:52:27,663
I explained to the jailer that I couldn't stay

8270
04:52:27,663 --> 04:52:29,665
unless the door was left open.

8271
04:52:29,665 --> 04:52:31,567
He agreed to my request.

8272
04:52:31,567 --> 04:52:34,136
Then, seizing the moment I stood up,

8273
04:52:34,136 --> 04:52:37,473
handed him the knife and squeezed it into his hand,

8274
04:52:37,473 --> 04:52:41,010
silently signaling him not to say anything.

8275
04:52:41,010 --> 04:52:43,012
He understood my gesture perfectly

8276
04:52:43,012 --> 04:52:44,747
and took the knife away.

8277
04:52:44,747 --> 04:52:47,683
With that, my anxiety was eased.

8278
04:52:47,683 --> 04:52:49,051
After the jailer left,

8279
04:52:49,051 --> 04:52:51,420
I did everything I could to calm his mind

8280
04:52:51,420 --> 04:52:53,455
and encouraged him to pray.

8281
04:52:53,455 --> 04:52:56,659
He began to pray, uttering some words,

8282
04:52:56,659 --> 04:52:59,495
but he did not invoke the name of Jesus.

8283
04:52:59,495 --> 04:53:00,429
I explained to him

8284
04:53:00,429 --> 04:53:02,031
that prayers need to be offered

8285
04:53:02,031 --> 04:53:03,332
in the name of the Lord Jesus,

8286
04:53:03,332 --> 04:53:04,934
to be heard and answered.

8287
04:53:04,934 --> 04:53:07,336
He confessed that he found prayer difficult,

8288
04:53:07,336 --> 04:53:08,771
comparing his awkwardness

8289
04:53:08,771 --> 04:53:09,772
to that of a novice

8290
04:53:09,772 --> 04:53:11,307
trying to perform the skilled work

8291
04:53:11,307 --> 04:53:13,075
of an experienced craftsman.

8292
04:53:13,075 --> 04:53:15,177
Thus, I had to guide his words.

8293
04:53:15,177 --> 04:53:16,245
I instructed him

8294
04:53:16,245 --> 04:53:17,479
to acknowledge his sins

8295
04:53:17,479 --> 04:53:19,648
in light of Christ sacrificial death,

8296
04:53:19,648 --> 04:53:22,685
and to seek forgiveness through Jesus's blood,

8297
04:53:22,685 --> 04:53:24,486
emphasizing that redemption comes

8298
04:53:24,486 --> 04:53:26,755
only through such a sacrifice.

8299
04:53:26,755 --> 04:53:28,557
I further explained that Christ's death

8300
04:53:28,557 --> 04:53:31,260
fulfilled the requirements of the law and justice,

8301
04:53:31,260 --> 04:53:34,396
and that his blood, when applied by the Holy Spirit,

8302
04:53:34,396 --> 04:53:36,465
soothes the conscience and reconciles

8303
04:53:36,465 --> 04:53:38,033
the soul with God.

8304
04:53:38,033 --> 04:53:40,803
To clarify the importance of invoking Jesus's

8305
04:53:40,803 --> 04:53:42,037
name in prayer,

8306
04:53:42,037 --> 04:53:44,406
especially since he was a businessman,

8307
04:53:44,406 --> 04:53:46,909
I used an analogy he could relate to.

8308
04:53:46,909 --> 04:53:47,643
I likened it

8309
04:53:47,643 --> 04:53:49,278
to withdrawing money from a bank

8310
04:53:49,278 --> 04:53:51,246
where you've deposited your wealth.

8311
04:53:51,246 --> 04:53:54,116
I explained if you send in a withdrawal request

8312
04:53:54,116 --> 04:53:55,384
without your signature,

8313
04:53:55,384 --> 04:53:57,686
the banker will refuse to process it.

8314
04:53:57,686 --> 04:53:59,421
But if your name is on the request,

8315
04:53:59,421 --> 04:54:02,358
the banker will honor it without hesitation.

8316
04:54:02,358 --> 04:54:04,526
Similarly, our prayers need to be offered

8317
04:54:04,526 --> 04:54:05,828
in Jesus's name.

8318
04:54:05,828 --> 04:54:08,530
They are acknowledged and answered for his sake.

8319
04:54:08,530 --> 04:54:11,000
This analogy helped us get through the night.

8320
04:54:11,000 --> 04:54:12,267
When morning arrived,

8321
04:54:12,267 --> 04:54:13,702
I returned home,

8322
04:54:13,702 --> 04:54:15,204
overwhelmed with gratitude

8323
04:54:15,204 --> 04:54:17,239
towards the Lord for protecting me.

8324
04:54:17,239 --> 04:54:19,041
Once safe under my own roof,

8325
04:54:19,041 --> 04:54:20,843
I wholeheartedly thank God

8326
04:54:20,843 --> 04:54:24,346
with my wife joining in for his gracious intervention.

8327
04:54:24,346 --> 04:54:27,483
Together we prayed and then sang Psalm 124,

8328
04:54:27,483 --> 04:54:28,417
finding its words

8329
04:54:28,417 --> 04:54:29,785
particularly fitting for the moment

8330
04:54:29,785 --> 04:54:31,720
we had just experienced.

8331
04:54:31,720 --> 04:54:33,489
Had not the Lord been on our side?

8332
04:54:33,489 --> 04:54:37,292
May Israel now say, had not the Lord been on our side?

8333
04:54:37,292 --> 04:54:41,463
When men rose us to slay, they had us swallowed quick.

8334
04:54:41,463 --> 04:54:42,131
In the evening

8335
04:54:42,131 --> 04:54:45,267
I visited him again, this time accompanying him at Mr.

8336
04:54:45,267 --> 04:54:48,037
Rose's request, from the jail to the lockup.

8337
04:54:48,037 --> 04:54:50,839
We were together in the coach with the prisoner's legs

8338
04:54:50,839 --> 04:54:52,441
chained to prevent escape,

8339
04:54:52,441 --> 04:54:55,077
though he could still use his hands and arms.

8340
04:54:55,077 --> 04:54:58,414
During this journey, his mental anguish was evident.

8341
04:54:58,414 --> 04:54:59,615
He positioned himself

8342
04:54:59,615 --> 04:55:01,817
as far back in the coach as possible.

8343
04:55:01,817 --> 04:55:03,419
Driven quickly through the streets

8344
04:55:03,419 --> 04:55:06,522
to avoid recognition by anyone he knew.

8345
04:55:06,522 --> 04:55:07,322
His distress

8346
04:55:07,322 --> 04:55:10,559
seemed more rooted in pride than genuine remorse.

8347
04:55:10,559 --> 04:55:12,127
Upon arriving at the lockup,

8348
04:55:12,127 --> 04:55:14,096
I prayed with him, hoping to help him

8349
04:55:14,096 --> 04:55:16,365
find peace with his impending fate,

8350
04:55:16,365 --> 04:55:19,034
and then suggested he try to rest.

8351
04:55:19,034 --> 04:55:21,370
He laid down but was unable to sleep.

8352
04:55:21,370 --> 04:55:24,540
Tormented by restlessness throughout the night.

8353
04:55:24,540 --> 04:55:26,775
At one point he asked me to write to his wife,

8354
04:55:26,775 --> 04:55:28,444
but I declined, fearing

8355
04:55:28,444 --> 04:55:31,113
he might be plotting harm or planning an escape.

8356
04:55:31,113 --> 04:55:33,716
When I suggested he write the letter himself,

8357
04:55:33,716 --> 04:55:34,283
he claimed

8358
04:55:34,283 --> 04:55:35,584
his mind was too troubled

8359
04:55:35,584 --> 04:55:38,721
and confused to write anything coherent.

8360
04:55:38,721 --> 04:55:39,321
Eventually,

8361
04:55:39,321 --> 04:55:42,057
he agreed to write the letter himself, provided

8362
04:55:42,057 --> 04:55:43,826
I would dictate it for him.

8363
04:55:43,826 --> 04:55:47,396
I agreed to his condition, and he began to write

8364
04:55:47,396 --> 04:55:48,130
as he wrote,

8365
04:55:48,130 --> 04:55:49,565
the sound of workmen building

8366
04:55:49,565 --> 04:55:52,067
the scaffold outside reached us.

8367
04:55:52,067 --> 04:55:55,170
He paused and asked, do you hear that?

8368
04:55:55,170 --> 04:55:57,039
What should I say now?

8369
04:55:57,039 --> 04:55:58,340
I suggested.

8370
04:55:58,340 --> 04:55:59,575
Write about how you feel

8371
04:55:59,575 --> 04:56:02,144
hearing the preparations for your death.

8372
04:56:02,144 --> 04:56:03,378
He followed my advice

8373
04:56:03,378 --> 04:56:05,581
and expressed his feelings in the letter.

8374
04:56:05,581 --> 04:56:08,016
Later, he asked the turnkey of the lockup

8375
04:56:08,016 --> 04:56:10,152
whether anyone who had been executed

8376
04:56:10,152 --> 04:56:13,889
ever came back to life seeking some sliver of hope.

8377
04:56:13,889 --> 04:56:16,892
The turnkey offered him a glimmer of encouragement,

8378
04:56:16,892 --> 04:56:18,594
which led the prisoner to hope

8379
04:56:18,594 --> 04:56:20,329
he might somehow escape death.

8380
04:56:20,329 --> 04:56:22,131
His greatest fear,

8381
04:56:22,131 --> 04:56:25,267
this hope, inspired him to make further preparations.

8382
04:56:25,267 --> 04:56:28,604
Clinging to the thought of defying his looming fate,

8383
04:56:28,604 --> 04:56:30,472
preparing for his final moments,

8384
04:56:30,472 --> 04:56:32,808
he chose to wear a pair of carpet shoes,

8385
04:56:32,808 --> 04:56:35,711
aiming to be lighter during the execution.

8386
04:56:35,711 --> 04:56:36,945
He arranged for his friends

8387
04:56:36,945 --> 04:56:39,014
to hire a doctor to bleed him immediately

8388
04:56:39,014 --> 04:56:40,616
after his body was taken down,

8389
04:56:40,616 --> 04:56:43,552
and for a cart to quickly transport his body home.

8390
04:56:43,552 --> 04:56:46,155
However, he was nurturing a futile hope,

8391
04:56:46,155 --> 04:56:49,057
clinging to a fragile thread of possibility.

8392
04:56:49,057 --> 04:56:50,859
I reminded him of his heavy build,

8393
04:56:50,859 --> 04:56:52,427
which assured his fate,

8394
04:56:52,427 --> 04:56:54,296
and I pressed upon him the importance

8395
04:56:54,296 --> 04:56:56,431
of preparing to face God in judgment.

8396
04:56:56,431 --> 04:56:59,134
Emphasizing the gravity of his situation

8397
04:56:59,134 --> 04:57:01,603
and the need for spiritual readiness.

8398
04:57:01,603 --> 04:57:02,738
Shortly thereafter,

8399
04:57:02,738 --> 04:57:04,506
the authorities arrived and commanded

8400
04:57:04,506 --> 04:57:06,508
that he be presented before them.

8401
04:57:06,508 --> 04:57:10,078
He was so resistant to facing his end that the turnkey

8402
04:57:10,078 --> 04:57:12,347
had to forcibly bring him forward.

8403
04:57:12,347 --> 04:57:14,550
Once, in front of the officials responsible

8404
04:57:14,550 --> 04:57:16,618
for carrying out his sentence, Mr.

8405
04:57:16,618 --> 04:57:18,320
Porteous, the jail chaplain,

8406
04:57:18,320 --> 04:57:21,456
spoke briefly to him before leading a prayer.

8407
04:57:21,456 --> 04:57:22,758
Following the prayer,

8408
04:57:22,758 --> 04:57:24,693
he was questioned about the alleged murder

8409
04:57:24,693 --> 04:57:25,994
of his first wife,

8410
04:57:25,994 --> 04:57:28,630
to which he vehemently denied involvement.

8411
04:57:28,630 --> 04:57:30,732
With everything in place for the execution,

8412
04:57:30,732 --> 04:57:32,167
the prisoner sought an excuse

8413
04:57:32,167 --> 04:57:34,136
to withdraw to a private room,

8414
04:57:34,136 --> 04:57:35,370
where he made a last ditch

8415
04:57:35,370 --> 04:57:37,172
effort to take his own life.

8416
04:57:37,172 --> 04:57:39,274
But again he was unsuccessful.

8417
04:57:39,274 --> 04:57:41,476
Realizing escape was impossible,

8418
04:57:41,476 --> 04:57:43,045
and having heard from the jailer

8419
04:57:43,045 --> 04:57:45,380
that a specific positioning of the noose

8420
04:57:45,380 --> 04:57:47,549
could prevent the breaking of the neck bone,

8421
04:57:47,549 --> 04:57:49,284
he pleaded with the executioner

8422
04:57:49,284 --> 04:57:51,453
to adjust the rope accordingly.

8423
04:57:51,453 --> 04:57:54,790
He clung to this as a faint hope for survival.

8424
04:57:54,790 --> 04:57:57,693
The executioner complied with his request,

8425
04:57:57,693 --> 04:58:00,729
and thus verified the remark of an old writer

8426
04:58:00,729 --> 04:58:03,232
that there is mercy with the executioner,

8427
04:58:03,232 --> 04:58:04,833
but none with the devil.

8428
04:58:04,833 --> 04:58:07,736
In a few moments after the unfortunate man

8429
04:58:07,736 --> 04:58:09,371
was launched into eternity,

8430
04:58:09,371 --> 04:58:16,245
notwithstanding all his precautions to save his life.

8431
04:58:16,245 --> 04:58:16,712
Chapter

8432
04:58:16,712 --> 04:58:20,148
16 murder, mercy and Miracles.

8433
04:58:20,148 --> 04:58:22,985
The last days of condemned Souls

8434
04:58:22,985 --> 04:58:24,887
I now come to relate the closing scene

8435
04:58:24,887 --> 04:58:25,988
in the lives of two men,

8436
04:58:25,988 --> 04:58:26,889
whom I had frequent

8437
04:58:26,889 --> 04:58:28,590
opportunities of visiting

8438
04:58:28,590 --> 04:58:30,325
whilst they lay under sentence of death

8439
04:58:30,325 --> 04:58:31,994
in the Calton Jail.

8440
04:58:31,994 --> 04:58:33,662
They had committed murder.

8441
04:58:33,662 --> 04:58:36,498
One of them was named Gow, the other Beveridge.

8442
04:58:36,498 --> 04:58:40,202
The former was a shoemaker, the latter a blacksmith.

8443
04:58:40,202 --> 04:58:41,970
On returning home one evening.

8444
04:58:41,970 --> 04:58:45,574
Gow found his wife, who was given to strong drink,

8445
04:58:45,574 --> 04:58:47,442
and some of her drunken associates

8446
04:58:47,442 --> 04:58:49,311
tippling in his house.

8447
04:58:49,311 --> 04:58:51,079
On attempting to turn them out.

8448
04:58:51,079 --> 04:58:51,546
His wife

8449
04:58:51,546 --> 04:58:52,981
ran to the stair head

8450
04:58:52,981 --> 04:58:55,851
and called for the police, who instantly came

8451
04:58:55,851 --> 04:58:57,352
and at the request of his wife.

8452
04:58:57,352 --> 04:58:59,221
He was carried off to the police office

8453
04:58:59,221 --> 04:59:00,656
where he lay all night.

8454
04:59:00,656 --> 04:59:02,357
In the morning he went home

8455
04:59:02,357 --> 04:59:03,992
and in a fit of passion,

8456
04:59:03,992 --> 04:59:06,662
stabbed his wretched wife with a sharp knife.

8457
04:59:06,662 --> 04:59:09,164
In consequence of which she died.

8458
04:59:09,164 --> 04:59:11,867
Beveridge, like Gow, was a hard working man

8459
04:59:11,867 --> 04:59:13,902
and had also a drunken wife.

8460
04:59:13,902 --> 04:59:15,771
One morning on coming in to breakfast,

8461
04:59:15,771 --> 04:59:17,072
he found the fire out.

8462
04:59:17,072 --> 04:59:18,674
No food prepared for him.

8463
04:59:18,674 --> 04:59:21,310
The children all running naked about the house,

8464
04:59:21,310 --> 04:59:24,947
and his wife drunk in bed and unfit to do anything.

8465
04:59:24,947 --> 04:59:26,782
He had often before seen his house

8466
04:59:26,782 --> 04:59:28,583
in this deplorable condition,

8467
04:59:28,583 --> 04:59:31,053
and at that time was so overcome with rage

8468
04:59:31,053 --> 04:59:33,021
that he killed her at once.

8469
04:59:33,021 --> 04:59:36,692
These two men were apprehended, tried, found guilty,

8470
04:59:36,692 --> 04:59:38,193
and sentenced to death,

8471
04:59:38,193 --> 04:59:40,595
and were confined in the same cell.

8472
04:59:40,595 --> 04:59:43,165
I had frequent opportunities of visiting them

8473
04:59:43,165 --> 04:59:44,800
and of conversing with them.

8474
04:59:44,800 --> 04:59:46,068
Having by my sympathy

8475
04:59:46,068 --> 04:59:46,702
and kindness

8476
04:59:46,702 --> 04:59:48,170
gained their confidence,

8477
04:59:48,170 --> 04:59:51,006
they listened to me with interest and attention.

8478
04:59:51,006 --> 04:59:53,942
Gow opened his mind more freely than Beveridge

8479
04:59:53,942 --> 04:59:57,212
and seemed to have a tender heart and keen feelings.

8480
04:59:57,212 --> 05:00:00,115
In proof of this, I may inform the reader that Gow,

8481
05:00:00,115 --> 05:00:03,752
when a boy, had on one occasion carried a bird's nest,

8482
05:00:03,752 --> 05:00:06,655
but perceiving that the female bird followed him,

8483
05:00:06,655 --> 05:00:09,725
apparently lamenting her loss, he repented

8484
05:00:09,725 --> 05:00:11,593
and put back the nest in the spot

8485
05:00:11,593 --> 05:00:13,261
from whence he had taken it.

8486
05:00:13,261 --> 05:00:15,430
It was always a matter of the greatest wonder

8487
05:00:15,430 --> 05:00:16,832
and astonishment to him,

8488
05:00:16,832 --> 05:00:18,567
how he ever could have had the heart

8489
05:00:18,567 --> 05:00:20,102
to murder his wife,

8490
05:00:20,102 --> 05:00:20,902
how it was that

8491
05:00:20,902 --> 05:00:23,705
a man who had felt such pity for a poor little bird

8492
05:00:23,705 --> 05:00:26,675
could experience none, for the woman who was his wife

8493
05:00:26,675 --> 05:00:30,178
was to him a mystery he could not understand.

8494
05:00:30,178 --> 05:00:31,413
To explain it,

8495
05:00:31,413 --> 05:00:33,348
I unfolded to him the deceitful

8496
05:00:33,348 --> 05:00:34,616
and desperately wicked

8497
05:00:34,616 --> 05:00:38,520
character of the heart of man in its natural state.

8498
05:00:38,520 --> 05:00:40,922
I attempted to show how unaware we are

8499
05:00:40,922 --> 05:00:42,991
of the grave offenses we could commit

8500
05:00:42,991 --> 05:00:45,093
when we lack God's protective grace

8501
05:00:45,093 --> 05:00:46,862
in face temptation.

8502
05:00:46,862 --> 05:00:48,163
I worked hard to make them

8503
05:00:48,163 --> 05:00:50,432
see the severity of their wrongdoing.

8504
05:00:50,432 --> 05:00:51,967
I highlighted the grave risk

8505
05:00:51,967 --> 05:00:54,603
they were in and the consequences awaiting them

8506
05:00:54,603 --> 05:00:56,671
if they remained unrepentant.

8507
05:00:56,671 --> 05:00:59,441
The Holy Spirit seemed to empower my modest efforts

8508
05:00:59,441 --> 05:00:59,841
to guide

8509
05:00:59,841 --> 05:01:03,045
these two troubled men to the friend of sinners.

8510
05:01:03,045 --> 05:01:03,912
A significant

8511
05:01:03,912 --> 05:01:04,713
and noticeable

8512
05:01:04,713 --> 05:01:06,248
transformation in their behavior

8513
05:01:06,248 --> 05:01:08,216
and character quickly emerged.

8514
05:01:08,216 --> 05:01:11,186
They appeared genuinely contrite for their sins,

8515
05:01:11,186 --> 05:01:14,723
eagerly seeking salvation through a crucified Savior.

8516
05:01:14,723 --> 05:01:17,592
They turned to the Bible, prayed earnestly to God,

8517
05:01:17,592 --> 05:01:18,193
and appeared

8518
05:01:18,193 --> 05:01:20,929
to find reconciliation and peace with God

8519
05:01:20,929 --> 05:01:23,331
through the sacrifice of His Son.

8520
05:01:23,331 --> 05:01:26,701
The transformation was so remarkable that in my eyes,

8521
05:01:26,701 --> 05:01:28,437
they resembled lambs.

8522
05:01:28,437 --> 05:01:31,173
How mysterious are the ways of God in bringing sinners

8523
05:01:31,173 --> 05:01:33,108
to their right mind?

8524
05:01:33,108 --> 05:01:34,342
When they were led to the hall

8525
05:01:34,342 --> 05:01:35,410
where the magistrates

8526
05:01:35,410 --> 05:01:38,680
awaited them on the morning of their execution, Mr.

8527
05:01:38,680 --> 05:01:41,316
Porteous spoke to them, as was the tradition,

8528
05:01:41,316 --> 05:01:42,751
and then prayed.

8529
05:01:42,751 --> 05:01:43,852
The condemned were next

8530
05:01:43,852 --> 05:01:47,255
told that someone wished to see them in a nearby room.

8531
05:01:47,255 --> 05:01:50,492
Gow immediately guessed it might be the executioner.

8532
05:01:50,492 --> 05:01:51,393
He quickly knelt,

8533
05:01:51,393 --> 05:01:55,464
raising his hands, heart and voice to God, fervently

8534
05:01:55,464 --> 05:01:56,431
praying for mercy

8535
05:01:56,431 --> 05:01:57,432
through the sacrifice

8536
05:01:57,432 --> 05:02:00,836
and satisfaction offered by God's beloved son.

8537
05:02:00,836 --> 05:02:03,805
Witnessing such a moment was incredibly moving for me,

8538
05:02:03,805 --> 05:02:05,140
and spurred me on to work

8539
05:02:05,140 --> 05:02:07,876
even harder at leading centers to God.

8540
05:02:07,876 --> 05:02:11,146
I found that in my efforts to help others spiritually,

8541
05:02:11,146 --> 05:02:12,380
I've consistently found

8542
05:02:12,380 --> 05:02:13,682
that I also enrich my own

8543
05:02:13,682 --> 05:02:16,284
understanding and relationship with God.

8544
05:02:16,284 --> 05:02:19,187
On the scaffold, Gow addressed the magistrates

8545
05:02:19,187 --> 05:02:21,056
and requested them to change the law,

8546
05:02:21,056 --> 05:02:22,090
which empowered a woman

8547
05:02:22,090 --> 05:02:23,859
to commit her husband to prison

8548
05:02:23,859 --> 05:02:25,861
for the most trifling offense.

8549
05:02:25,861 --> 05:02:28,964
The magistrates seemed to approve of what he said

8550
05:02:28,964 --> 05:02:29,965
in a few minutes.

8551
05:02:29,965 --> 05:02:32,567
Both prisoners were in eternity.

8552
05:02:32,567 --> 05:02:34,703
I have many stories like this one,

8553
05:02:34,703 --> 05:02:37,239
but to keep from overwhelming my readers, I'll share

8554
05:02:37,239 --> 05:02:38,440
just one more.

8555
05:02:38,440 --> 05:02:40,142
The story of James Bell,

8556
05:02:40,142 --> 05:02:43,645
a soldier in a cavalry regiment based at Jock's Lodge

8557
05:02:43,645 --> 05:02:44,880
who was sentenced to death

8558
05:02:44,880 --> 05:02:47,716
for shooting the sergeant major of his regiment.

8559
05:02:47,716 --> 05:02:49,284
The entire City of Edinburgh

8560
05:02:49,284 --> 05:02:51,253
felt compassion for Bell due

8561
05:02:51,253 --> 05:02:53,221
to the specific circumstances

8562
05:02:53,221 --> 05:02:55,056
that drove him to the crime.

8563
05:02:55,056 --> 05:02:56,491
The sergeant Major was known

8564
05:02:56,491 --> 05:02:58,927
for his harsh, unpleasant demeanor,

8565
05:02:58,927 --> 05:03:00,529
always quick to criticize

8566
05:03:00,529 --> 05:03:02,197
and impose strict punishments

8567
05:03:02,197 --> 05:03:04,332
for even minor infractions.

8568
05:03:04,332 --> 05:03:06,001
It was said that during marches,

8569
05:03:06,001 --> 05:03:07,068
he would make soldiers

8570
05:03:07,068 --> 05:03:09,271
who weren't precisely in line dismount

8571
05:03:09,271 --> 05:03:11,673
and carry their saddles beside their horses.

8572
05:03:11,673 --> 05:03:13,608
His harshness made him widely disliked

8573
05:03:13,608 --> 05:03:14,743
among the soldiers,

8574
05:03:14,743 --> 05:03:17,312
leading some to conspire against him

8575
05:03:17,312 --> 05:03:20,115
to decide who would carry out their grim plan.

8576
05:03:20,115 --> 05:03:23,818
The soldiers agreed to draw lots, and fate chose Bell.

8577
05:03:23,818 --> 05:03:25,854
Seizing the first chance he got,

8578
05:03:25,854 --> 05:03:28,123
he fatally shot the sergeant major.

8579
05:03:28,123 --> 05:03:30,192
This impulsive and sinful act

8580
05:03:30,192 --> 05:03:31,960
led to his death sentence.

8581
05:03:31,960 --> 05:03:34,095
While in jail, Bell was visited by doctor

8582
05:03:34,095 --> 05:03:36,298
Hunter from the Tron Church in Edinburgh,

8583
05:03:36,298 --> 05:03:37,532
who is believed to have played

8584
05:03:37,532 --> 05:03:40,168
a crucial role in Bell's conversion.

8585
05:03:40,168 --> 05:03:41,970
I also had several opportunities

8586
05:03:41,970 --> 05:03:42,571
to visit him

8587
05:03:42,571 --> 05:03:44,406
during his incarceration,

8588
05:03:44,406 --> 05:03:45,740
and based on what I observed

8589
05:03:45,740 --> 05:03:46,474
and heard,

8590
05:03:46,474 --> 05:03:49,678
I'm convinced he truly regretted his actions.

8591
05:03:49,678 --> 05:03:51,546
Bell spent much of his imprisonment

8592
05:03:51,546 --> 05:03:53,882
learning to read and pray, activities

8593
05:03:53,882 --> 05:03:56,551
to which he seemed genuinely dedicated.

8594
05:03:56,551 --> 05:04:00,088
Bell was a member of the Episcopal Church and Mr.

8595
05:04:00,088 --> 05:04:01,623
now Bishop Tarrant,

8596
05:04:01,623 --> 05:04:02,190
a minister

8597
05:04:02,190 --> 05:04:05,493
from that denomination, often came to talk with him.

8598
05:04:05,493 --> 05:04:06,394
On one occasion

8599
05:04:06,394 --> 05:04:08,730
I was pleased to hear doctor Hunter explain to Mr.

8600
05:04:08,730 --> 05:04:09,631
Tarrant his approach

8601
05:04:09,631 --> 05:04:12,033
to discussing spiritual matters with Bell.

8602
05:04:12,033 --> 05:04:13,368
He started by helping Bell

8603
05:04:13,368 --> 05:04:15,804
recognize his inherent sinfulness,

8604
05:04:15,804 --> 05:04:19,140
pinpointing it as the root of all his wrongdoings.

8605
05:04:19,140 --> 05:04:20,609
For the water to be clean,

8606
05:04:20,609 --> 05:04:22,477
the source must be purified.

8607
05:04:22,477 --> 05:04:25,680
This sin alone made a person guilty before God.

8608
05:04:25,680 --> 05:04:27,882
But when a life filled with actual sins

8609
05:04:27,882 --> 05:04:30,418
and blatant defiance against God is added,

8610
05:04:30,418 --> 05:04:32,621
the sinner situation becomes dire.

8611
05:04:32,621 --> 05:04:35,023
Standing condemned by God's sacred law

8612
05:04:35,023 --> 05:04:37,225
and facing his righteous anger,

8613
05:04:37,225 --> 05:04:40,195
the man saw his lost and perishing condition,

8614
05:04:40,195 --> 05:04:40,895
and was thus,

8615
05:04:40,895 --> 05:04:41,463
as it were,

8616
05:04:41,463 --> 05:04:43,298
constrained to look around him

8617
05:04:43,298 --> 05:04:45,600
for succor and for safety.

8618
05:04:45,600 --> 05:04:46,268
Christ was

8619
05:04:46,268 --> 05:04:49,571
then presented to the awakened and penitent criminal,

8620
05:04:49,571 --> 05:04:52,073
and he gladly embraced the Savior.

8621
05:04:52,073 --> 05:04:53,942
I continued with him in the lock up

8622
05:04:53,942 --> 05:04:56,678
during the whole of the last night he spent on earth.

8623
05:04:56,678 --> 05:04:59,948
He slept comfortably until about 3:00 in the morning.

8624
05:04:59,948 --> 05:05:01,983
He seemed perfectly composed

8625
05:05:01,983 --> 05:05:04,319
and well resigned to his fate.

8626
05:05:04,319 --> 05:05:06,554
Before he had risen from his bed,

8627
05:05:06,554 --> 05:05:08,523
I engaged with him in prayer,

8628
05:05:08,523 --> 05:05:11,993
and afterwards assisted him to put on his clothes.

8629
05:05:11,993 --> 05:05:15,330
We went arm in arm to the scaffold, and as we came up

8630
05:05:15,330 --> 05:05:18,166
the narrow passage leading to the fatal spot,

8631
05:05:18,166 --> 05:05:20,168
the excitement was great.

8632
05:05:20,168 --> 05:05:22,037
Many of the spectators wept,

8633
05:05:22,037 --> 05:05:25,240
and all seemed to feel deeply for the stately soldier

8634
05:05:25,240 --> 05:05:25,940
as he marched

8635
05:05:25,940 --> 05:05:27,108
with a firm and steady

8636
05:05:27,108 --> 05:05:29,611
step to the scene of his last sufferings.

8637
05:05:29,611 --> 05:05:32,814
He wept much, and held down his head all the way.

8638
05:05:32,814 --> 05:05:35,083
The executioner was inexperienced

8639
05:05:35,083 --> 05:05:36,785
and blundered his business,

8640
05:05:36,785 --> 05:05:39,654
and the people became enraged in consequence

8641
05:05:39,654 --> 05:05:41,556
and made great commotion

8642
05:05:41,556 --> 05:05:43,491
on observing the movement in the crowd.

8643
05:05:43,491 --> 05:05:44,893
The unfortunate prisoner

8644
05:05:44,893 --> 05:05:47,295
raised his hands as much as to say,

8645
05:05:47,295 --> 05:05:50,065
peace, be still, weep not for me.

8646
05:05:50,065 --> 05:05:51,433
All as well.

8647
05:05:51,433 --> 05:05:53,201
At this moment I called out.

8648
05:05:53,201 --> 05:05:53,968
Never mind.

8649
05:05:53,968 --> 05:05:55,937
These men look up to Jesus.

8650
05:05:55,937 --> 05:05:58,273
He is waiting to receive you.

8651
05:05:58,273 --> 05:06:00,175
Casting one. Look upwards.

8652
05:06:00,175 --> 05:06:01,409
He made the fatal signal

8653
05:06:01,409 --> 05:06:04,379
for the executioner to perform his duty.

8654
05:06:04,379 --> 05:06:07,315
And in a few moments, all was over.

8655
05:06:07,315 --> 05:06:09,951
I may remark that my persecutions and sufferings

8656
05:06:09,951 --> 05:06:12,520
from the magistrates and policemen of Adam Sparrow,

8657
05:06:12,520 --> 05:06:14,756
whilst I preached in the street, would be deemed

8658
05:06:14,756 --> 05:06:17,992
almost incredible were I fully to relate them.

8659
05:06:17,992 --> 05:06:20,662
The latter, being mostly Irishmen and Roman Catholics,

8660
05:06:20,662 --> 05:06:22,263
did not sympathize with me.

8661
05:06:22,263 --> 05:06:23,465
In all my preachings,

8662
05:06:23,465 --> 05:06:24,232
I considered it

8663
05:06:24,232 --> 05:06:26,034
an important part of my duty

8664
05:06:26,034 --> 05:06:27,235
to expose error

8665
05:06:27,235 --> 05:06:28,203
and heresy,

8666
05:06:28,203 --> 05:06:31,740
as well as to proclaim the truth as it is in Jesus.

8667
05:06:31,740 --> 05:06:34,542
In this procedure on my part raised me up many enemies

8668
05:06:34,542 --> 05:06:37,879
and opponents, Papists, Unitarians,

8669
05:06:37,879 --> 05:06:38,880
Morris onions

8670
05:06:38,880 --> 05:06:41,850
and such like where my bitter gain sayers.

8671
05:06:41,850 --> 05:06:43,251
The theories of their leading men

8672
05:06:43,251 --> 05:06:45,587
I attacked and refuted from the scriptures.

8673
05:06:45,587 --> 05:06:47,489
I spared none who held opinions

8674
05:06:47,489 --> 05:06:49,224
that robbed God of his glory,

8675
05:06:49,224 --> 05:06:51,526
and Christ of the dignity of his person

8676
05:06:51,526 --> 05:06:53,728
and the efficacy of his work.

8677
05:06:53,728 --> 05:06:55,397
The adversaries of truth tried

8678
05:06:55,397 --> 05:06:57,165
every means they could think of

8679
05:06:57,165 --> 05:06:58,666
to deter me from performing

8680
05:06:58,666 --> 05:07:01,569
the work God had given me to do, but in vain.

8681
05:07:01,569 --> 05:07:03,371
Their opposition only made me bolder

8682
05:07:03,371 --> 05:07:05,306
in the cause of my blessed Master.

8683
05:07:05,306 --> 05:07:06,841
I had counted the cost

8684
05:07:06,841 --> 05:07:07,742
and was determined

8685
05:07:07,742 --> 05:07:09,077
to follow him through evil

8686
05:07:09,077 --> 05:07:11,012
as well as through good report.

8687
05:07:11,012 --> 05:07:14,482
I was stoned, imprisoned, and otherwise maltreated,

8688
05:07:14,482 --> 05:07:17,285
but God stood near and protected me with Paul,

8689
05:07:17,285 --> 05:07:19,988
who said that he had fought with beasts at Ephesus.

8690
05:07:19,988 --> 05:07:22,056
I might well say that I had fought with beasts

8691
05:07:22,056 --> 05:07:23,491
in the streets of Edinburgh.

8692
05:07:23,491 --> 05:07:24,192
Compassion

8693
05:07:24,192 --> 05:07:26,261
to the souls of men drove me to the streets

8694
05:07:26,261 --> 05:07:28,296
and lanes of my native city,

8695
05:07:28,296 --> 05:07:29,798
to plead with sinners

8696
05:07:29,798 --> 05:07:32,333
and persuade them to come to Jesus.

8697
05:07:32,333 --> 05:07:33,935
The love of Christ constrained me

8698
05:07:33,935 --> 05:07:36,237
to face all opposition in the performance

8699
05:07:36,237 --> 05:07:38,273
of this great and glorious work.

8700
05:07:38,273 --> 05:07:40,041
I was grieved to see multitudes

8701
05:07:40,041 --> 05:07:43,077
thronging the broad road that leads to destruction.

8702
05:07:43,077 --> 05:07:43,711
Whilst I

8703
05:07:43,711 --> 05:07:45,146
myself was in the enjoyment

8704
05:07:45,146 --> 05:07:47,015
of a good hope, through grace

8705
05:07:47,015 --> 05:07:47,849
in my preaching

8706
05:07:47,849 --> 05:07:50,752
I dwelt much upon death and its consequences,

8707
05:07:50,752 --> 05:07:52,554
the everlasting punishment

8708
05:07:52,554 --> 05:07:55,523
that awaited ungodly and impenitent sinners,

8709
05:07:55,523 --> 05:07:57,759
and the everlasting weight of glory

8710
05:07:57,759 --> 05:07:59,761
that was laid up for the righteous.

8711
05:07:59,761 --> 05:08:02,664
Many times the local authorities imprisoned me,

8712
05:08:02,664 --> 05:08:05,667
but my wife always managed to secure my release.

8713
05:08:05,667 --> 05:08:07,035
Eventually, they decided

8714
05:08:07,035 --> 05:08:08,269
they would only release me

8715
05:08:08,269 --> 05:08:10,772
if a reputable person posted bail for me.

8716
05:08:10,772 --> 05:08:11,940
Set at Two Towers.

8717
05:08:11,940 --> 05:08:14,309
This was their way of trying to silence me

8718
05:08:14,309 --> 05:08:16,744
and stop me from sharing the gospel.

8719
05:08:16,744 --> 05:08:17,645
Despite this,

8720
05:08:17,645 --> 05:08:18,513
I was determined

8721
05:08:18,513 --> 05:08:21,683
not to let anyone risk their assets for my sake.

8722
05:08:21,683 --> 05:08:23,551
Regardless of the outcome,

8723
05:08:23,551 --> 05:08:25,420
I was committed to spreading the gospel

8724
05:08:25,420 --> 05:08:27,255
to anyone within earshot

8725
05:08:27,255 --> 05:08:28,623
when barred from preaching

8726
05:08:28,623 --> 05:08:30,225
in the streets of Edinburgh.

8727
05:08:30,225 --> 05:08:32,727
I felt like a sealed bottle of new wine

8728
05:08:32,727 --> 05:08:36,030
under so much pressure that I was about to burst.

8729
05:08:36,030 --> 05:08:39,234
I needed an outlet, so I decided to go to the links,

8730
05:08:39,234 --> 05:08:41,035
a local open area.

8731
05:08:41,035 --> 05:08:43,938
I positioned myself on a wall beside the path.

8732
05:08:43,938 --> 05:08:46,708
Many who came there for leisure or to dry and bleached

8733
05:08:46,708 --> 05:08:49,077
their clothes gathered to listen.

8734
05:08:49,077 --> 05:08:50,979
The Lord enabled me to speak freely

8735
05:08:50,979 --> 05:08:54,048
and powerfully to those in need of hearing his word.

8736
05:08:54,048 --> 05:08:55,650
This mission was God's work,

8737
05:08:55,650 --> 05:08:57,986
and he gave me the strength to carry it out.

8738
05:08:57,986 --> 05:09:00,088
At that time, Doctor Simpson from the Tron

8739
05:09:00,088 --> 05:09:01,589
church was the only clergyman

8740
05:09:01,589 --> 05:09:03,224
who supported my efforts.

8741
05:09:03,224 --> 05:09:04,859
He openly encouraged me,

8742
05:09:04,859 --> 05:09:06,094
even shaking my hand

8743
05:09:06,094 --> 05:09:08,763
in front of the crowd and wishing me well.

8744
05:09:08,763 --> 05:09:11,132
He agreed with the teachings I shared.

8745
05:09:11,132 --> 05:09:12,300
Later, he and Mrs.

8746
05:09:12,300 --> 05:09:14,769
Simpson came to listen to me preach.

8747
05:09:14,769 --> 05:09:15,770
After the sermon,

8748
05:09:15,770 --> 05:09:17,572
their little girl offered me some money,

8749
05:09:17,572 --> 05:09:18,706
which I declined,

8750
05:09:18,706 --> 05:09:20,475
explaining that I was not preaching

8751
05:09:20,475 --> 05:09:22,176
for financial gain.

8752
05:09:22,176 --> 05:09:24,979
My aim was not to acquire their possessions,

8753
05:09:24,979 --> 05:09:26,948
but to win their hearts.

8754
05:09:26,948 --> 05:09:30,318
During my sermons at that time, a sophisticated woman

8755
05:09:30,318 --> 05:09:32,520
became deeply aware of her spiritual peril

8756
05:09:32,520 --> 05:09:36,224
and her sins, both inherent and through her actions.

8757
05:09:36,224 --> 05:09:37,759
She began visiting me often

8758
05:09:37,759 --> 05:09:39,727
seeking prayers on her behalf.

8759
05:09:39,727 --> 05:09:43,131
I encouraged her to pray as well, and she did.

8760
05:09:43,131 --> 05:09:44,999
Her fervor, sincerity,

8761
05:09:44,999 --> 05:09:46,701
and the biblical nature of her prayers

8762
05:09:46,701 --> 05:09:48,236
truly amazed me.

8763
05:09:48,236 --> 05:09:49,971
Once she found peace with God

8764
05:09:49,971 --> 05:09:52,941
by embracing the sacrifice made on the cross,

8765
05:09:52,941 --> 05:09:54,842
she gathered many other young women

8766
05:09:54,842 --> 05:09:57,278
organizing prayer meetings at her home

8767
05:09:57,278 --> 05:10:00,348
and asking me to lead these spiritual gatherings.

8768
05:10:00,348 --> 05:10:03,451
Her passion for spreading Christ's message grew,

8769
05:10:03,451 --> 05:10:04,953
and she managed to get permission

8770
05:10:04,953 --> 05:10:07,355
to visit the female inmates in the prison,

8771
05:10:07,355 --> 05:10:09,123
where her efforts to make a positive

8772
05:10:09,123 --> 05:10:10,925
difference were blessed.

8773
05:10:10,925 --> 05:10:13,628
After a life dedicated to faith and service,

8774
05:10:13,628 --> 05:10:15,396
she passed away.

8775
05:10:15,396 --> 05:10:17,498
I believe she is now, through her faith

8776
05:10:17,498 --> 05:10:18,900
and perseverance,

8777
05:10:18,900 --> 05:10:25,773
enjoying the fulfillment of God's promises.

8778
05:10:25,773 --> 05:10:27,976
Chapter 17

8779
05:10:27,976 --> 05:10:29,210
A Lantern in the dark.

8780
05:10:29,210 --> 05:10:31,679
The Late Years of Robert Flockhart

8781
05:10:31,679 --> 05:10:35,416
Robert Flockhart s autobiography ends rather suddenly.

8782
05:10:35,416 --> 05:10:36,451
While we might wish

8783
05:10:36,451 --> 05:10:38,252
he had lived to continue his story

8784
05:10:38,252 --> 05:10:41,289
up to his retirement, God had other plans.

8785
05:10:41,289 --> 05:10:43,124
Thankfully, through Pastor Mr.

8786
05:10:43,124 --> 05:10:45,560
Robertson of Newton's generosity,

8787
05:10:45,560 --> 05:10:47,462
we are able to share with our readers

8788
05:10:47,462 --> 05:10:48,997
fascinating anecdotes

8789
05:10:48,997 --> 05:10:52,066
and memorable quotes from our beloved street preacher.

8790
05:10:52,066 --> 05:10:54,702
Despite the gap of many years in his narrative

8791
05:10:54,702 --> 05:10:56,204
leading up to his death,

8792
05:10:56,204 --> 05:10:58,706
Flockhart never ceased his ministry.

8793
05:10:58,706 --> 05:10:59,974
He was a steadfast

8794
05:10:59,974 --> 05:11:00,908
figure at the west

8795
05:11:00,908 --> 05:11:04,278
end of Saint Giles's Cathedral every weekday evening

8796
05:11:04,278 --> 05:11:06,514
and in front of the theater on Sundays.

8797
05:11:06,514 --> 05:11:09,984
No matter the weather, be it freezing, snowing,

8798
05:11:09,984 --> 05:11:13,755
raining or during calm summer nights, around 9:00

8799
05:11:13,755 --> 05:11:17,058
he could be seen making his way to his chosen spot.

8800
05:11:17,058 --> 05:11:19,394
In the colder months he would carry a lantern

8801
05:11:19,394 --> 05:11:21,562
while a friend would help by carrying the chair

8802
05:11:21,562 --> 05:11:23,264
he stood on to preach.

8803
05:11:23,264 --> 05:11:25,800
He would start by singing verses from a psalm

8804
05:11:25,800 --> 05:11:28,469
capturing the attention of those passing by,

8805
05:11:28,469 --> 05:11:31,406
and gradually drawing a crowd among this

8806
05:11:31,406 --> 05:11:34,676
crowd, often made up of societys outcasts.

8807
05:11:34,676 --> 05:11:37,545
I found myself from time to time witnessing this

8808
05:11:37,545 --> 05:11:41,049
elderly, frail man passionately praying to God

8809
05:11:41,049 --> 05:11:41,849
and fervently

8810
05:11:41,849 --> 05:11:44,686
appealing to the people was incredibly moving.

8811
05:11:44,686 --> 05:11:47,989
Despite his advanced age, which typically dampens

8812
05:11:47,989 --> 05:11:51,759
enthusiasm, his zeal remained undiminished.

8813
05:11:51,759 --> 05:11:55,063
His spirit triumphed over his physical frailty,

8814
05:11:55,063 --> 05:11:56,698
and even in his final days,

8815
05:11:56,698 --> 05:11:58,833
he remained vigorous in spirit,

8816
05:11:58,833 --> 05:12:00,601
as if his eye was not dim

8817
05:12:00,601 --> 05:12:03,237
nor his natural strength abated.

8818
05:12:03,237 --> 05:12:04,806
Two years after stepping down

8819
05:12:04,806 --> 05:12:06,541
from his cherished ministry

8820
05:12:06,541 --> 05:12:09,210
of sharing Christ with those yet to find him,

8821
05:12:09,210 --> 05:12:11,946
and before he could finish his autobiography,

8822
05:12:11,946 --> 05:12:13,514
he passed away.

8823
05:12:13,514 --> 05:12:15,149
Edinburgh paid tribute to him

8824
05:12:15,149 --> 05:12:16,951
with a sort of public funeral,

8825
05:12:16,951 --> 05:12:18,086
a gesture that honored

8826
05:12:18,086 --> 05:12:20,888
both his memory and his dedication.

8827
05:12:20,888 --> 05:12:23,558
An account from the Daily Express provides details

8828
05:12:23,558 --> 05:12:25,059
of this solemn occasion,

8829
05:12:25,059 --> 05:12:28,029
celebrating the life of a man who dedicated himself

8830
05:12:28,029 --> 05:12:29,864
to spreading hope and faith.

8831
05:12:29,864 --> 05:12:31,733
It reads as the following

8832
05:12:31,733 --> 05:12:34,769
a large company assembled at seven Richmond Place

8833
05:12:34,769 --> 05:12:35,937
to follow the remains

8834
05:12:35,937 --> 05:12:38,906
of this veteran street preacher to the tomb,

8835
05:12:38,906 --> 05:12:41,676
after religious services conducted by the Reverend

8836
05:12:41,676 --> 05:12:42,944
David Guthrie.

8837
05:12:42,944 --> 05:12:44,979
The procession moved off at 4:00

8838
05:12:44,979 --> 05:12:46,380
in the following order

8839
05:12:46,380 --> 05:12:47,582
for baton men,

8840
05:12:47,582 --> 05:12:48,783
the soldiers of the various

8841
05:12:48,783 --> 05:12:50,551
recruiting parties in the city,

8842
05:12:50,551 --> 05:12:51,953
four abreast by whom

8843
05:12:51,953 --> 05:12:54,055
the coffin was borne shoulder high.

8844
05:12:54,055 --> 05:12:54,455
Mr.

8845
05:12:54,455 --> 05:12:55,757
James Flockhart,

8846
05:12:55,757 --> 05:12:57,825
Dumbarton, brother of the deceased,

8847
05:12:57,825 --> 05:12:59,127
and other relatives,

8848
05:12:59,127 --> 05:13:03,397
accompanied by about 250 citizens of every rank, among

8849
05:13:03,397 --> 05:13:04,599
whom were several members

8850
05:13:04,599 --> 05:13:05,800
of town council

8851
05:13:05,800 --> 05:13:08,536
and ministers of various denominations.

8852
05:13:08,536 --> 05:13:10,738
On the top of the coffin were placed

8853
05:13:10,738 --> 05:13:13,574
the family Bible, belonging to the deceased,

8854
05:13:13,574 --> 05:13:14,942
and the hymn book used by him

8855
05:13:14,942 --> 05:13:18,112
for many years in his open air exhortations.

8856
05:13:18,112 --> 05:13:20,782
The procession proceeded to the Grange Cemetery,

8857
05:13:20,782 --> 05:13:22,750
where the interment took place,

8858
05:13:22,750 --> 05:13:24,252
and along the whole road passed

8859
05:13:24,252 --> 05:13:26,821
between lines of men, women, and children

8860
05:13:26,821 --> 05:13:29,090
who had gathered to express their sympathy

8861
05:13:29,090 --> 05:13:34,028
with the mournful proceedings.

8862
05:13:34,028 --> 05:13:36,063
Chapter 18

8863
05:13:36,063 --> 05:13:38,099
The Pilgrim Strangers Journey

8864
05:13:38,099 --> 05:13:39,901
reflections on a Life of Devotion

8865
05:13:39,901 --> 05:13:41,702
and his street Preaching.

8866
05:13:41,702 --> 05:13:46,073
Written by James Robertson on December 9th of 1857.

8867
05:13:46,073 --> 05:13:47,642
Dear Doctor Guthrie,

8868
05:13:47,642 --> 05:13:49,710
in response to your kind encouragement

8869
05:13:49,710 --> 05:13:51,412
for me to record some reminiscences

8870
05:13:51,412 --> 05:13:52,914
of Robert Flockhart,

8871
05:13:52,914 --> 05:13:54,515
I must admit my apprehension

8872
05:13:54,515 --> 05:13:56,918
due to the scarcity of my materials.

8873
05:13:56,918 --> 05:13:58,519
I fear they may contribute

8874
05:13:58,519 --> 05:14:00,121
little to your understanding of him

8875
05:14:00,121 --> 05:14:02,423
or to the illustration of his character.

8876
05:14:02,423 --> 05:14:03,090
Nevertheless,

8877
05:14:03,090 --> 05:14:04,959
I am convinced that even the slightest

8878
05:14:04,959 --> 05:14:06,327
gleanings from the life of such

8879
05:14:06,327 --> 05:14:08,329
a man are worth preserving.

8880
05:14:08,329 --> 05:14:09,864
My acquaintance with him began

8881
05:14:09,864 --> 05:14:11,899
just before he withdrew from active scenes

8882
05:14:11,899 --> 05:14:15,336
to the Chamber of Solitude and the bed of languishing.

8883
05:14:15,336 --> 05:14:17,071
Over the course of two years

8884
05:14:17,071 --> 05:14:19,073
from that time until his passing,

8885
05:14:19,073 --> 05:14:22,076
he often spoke of dwelling in his own hired house,

8886
05:14:22,076 --> 05:14:24,412
receiving all that came into him,

8887
05:14:24,412 --> 05:14:25,713
and teaching those things

8888
05:14:25,713 --> 05:14:28,816
which concerned the Lord Jesus with all confidence.

8889
05:14:28,816 --> 05:14:30,985
No man forbidding him.

8890
05:14:30,985 --> 05:14:33,554
I frequently visited him during this time,

8891
05:14:33,554 --> 05:14:34,822
seeking refreshment

8892
05:14:34,822 --> 05:14:35,890
and inspiration

8893
05:14:35,890 --> 05:14:36,991
from the testimonies

8894
05:14:36,991 --> 05:14:40,294
he shared about the grace and support of God.

8895
05:14:40,294 --> 05:14:41,562
Every encounter left me

8896
05:14:41,562 --> 05:14:42,163
with a deeper

8897
05:14:42,163 --> 05:14:43,364
understanding of the duty

8898
05:14:43,364 --> 05:14:45,700
and joy of living as a pilgrim stranger.

8899
05:14:45,700 --> 05:14:48,269
Eagerly awaiting the bridegroom's call.

8900
05:14:48,269 --> 05:14:51,205
The unique and concise charm of his conversation

8901
05:14:51,205 --> 05:14:52,139
is challenging

8902
05:14:52,139 --> 05:14:54,675
to fully capture through mere description.

8903
05:14:54,675 --> 05:14:56,110
Any attempt to transcribe

8904
05:14:56,110 --> 05:14:57,812
his remarks will inevitably lack

8905
05:14:57,812 --> 05:14:58,446
the sharpness

8906
05:14:58,446 --> 05:14:59,313
they possessed

8907
05:14:59,313 --> 05:15:02,049
when spoken within their original context.

8908
05:15:02,049 --> 05:15:03,951
I believe it would be fitting to retain

8909
05:15:03,951 --> 05:15:05,720
his own colloquial expressions

8910
05:15:05,720 --> 05:15:07,321
to the best of my ability,

8911
05:15:07,321 --> 05:15:10,258
as they truly encapsulate his character.

8912
05:15:10,258 --> 05:15:13,227
One of the qualities that truly defined his worth in

8913
05:15:13,227 --> 05:15:16,998
my eyes was his profound love for the Bible.

8914
05:15:16,998 --> 05:15:20,134
Despite appreciating the support of Christian friends,

8915
05:15:20,134 --> 05:15:21,903
he consistently emphasized

8916
05:15:21,903 --> 05:15:23,371
that without the companionship

8917
05:15:23,371 --> 05:15:23,905
of God's

8918
05:15:23,905 --> 05:15:26,574
Word, its light and its solace,

8919
05:15:26,574 --> 05:15:29,010
he would have been lost in his affliction.

8920
05:15:29,010 --> 05:15:30,578
He often expressed,

8921
05:15:30,578 --> 05:15:32,680
I have just been sitting under its shadow

8922
05:15:32,680 --> 05:15:35,149
with great delight in finding its fruit

8923
05:15:35,149 --> 05:15:36,884
sweet to my taste.

8924
05:15:36,884 --> 05:15:39,754
To him, the Bible was like a fruitful tree,

8925
05:15:39,754 --> 05:15:43,157
bearing grand and sweet apples of various kinds.

8926
05:15:43,157 --> 05:15:45,493
He spoke of the apple of justification,

8927
05:15:45,493 --> 05:15:48,462
where we are justified freely by his grace.

8928
05:15:48,462 --> 05:15:50,464
The apple of sanctification,

8929
05:15:50,464 --> 05:15:53,334
where we are made partakers of his holiness,

8930
05:15:53,334 --> 05:15:55,870
and the apple of adoption, declaring,

8931
05:15:55,870 --> 05:15:58,105
now are we the sons of God?

8932
05:15:58,105 --> 05:15:59,607
Yet he reserved his highest praise

8933
05:15:59,607 --> 05:16:01,776
for the golden apple of glorification,

8934
05:16:01,776 --> 05:16:04,111
which we will attain in due time, though

8935
05:16:04,111 --> 05:16:06,681
it doth not yet appear what we shall be.

8936
05:16:06,681 --> 05:16:09,550
Drawing from his experiences in tropical countries,

8937
05:16:09,550 --> 05:16:11,118
he likened the Bible to trees

8938
05:16:11,118 --> 05:16:11,686
whose fruit

8939
05:16:11,686 --> 05:16:13,654
seemed ready to fall into one's mouth

8940
05:16:13,654 --> 05:16:15,923
due to its richness and ripeness.

8941
05:16:15,923 --> 05:16:17,725
He believed that the Lord invites us

8942
05:16:17,725 --> 05:16:21,195
to approach his word with open mouths, promising,

8943
05:16:21,195 --> 05:16:24,899
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it one day.

8944
05:16:24,899 --> 05:16:27,001
As he sat gazing into the fire.

8945
05:16:27,001 --> 05:16:30,271
He shared with me a profound reflection on a verse

8946
05:16:30,271 --> 05:16:33,074
is not my word like fire, saith the Lord.

8947
05:16:33,074 --> 05:16:36,344
And like a hammer that break at the rock and pieces,

8948
05:16:36,344 --> 05:16:37,378
he mused.

8949
05:16:37,378 --> 05:16:40,247
Indeed, both a fire and a hammer

8950
05:16:40,247 --> 05:16:42,750
one couldn't suffice without the other.

8951
05:16:42,750 --> 05:16:43,818
I wouldn't be here today

8952
05:16:43,818 --> 05:16:45,619
if his word hadn't been a fire.

8953
05:16:45,619 --> 05:16:46,988
My will was a stubborn

8954
05:16:46,988 --> 05:16:49,657
as an iron sinew in my unconverted state.

8955
05:16:49,657 --> 05:16:50,858
But the Lord subjected

8956
05:16:50,858 --> 05:16:54,061
my iron will to his refining fire to soften it.

8957
05:16:54,061 --> 05:16:56,731
It was a fire of intense convictions.

8958
05:16:56,731 --> 05:16:58,232
I believe my fire was heated

8959
05:16:58,232 --> 05:17:00,434
seven times hotter than usual.

8960
05:17:00,434 --> 05:17:01,669
Yet even that alone wouldn't

8961
05:17:01,669 --> 05:17:03,237
have served the purpose of shaping me

8962
05:17:03,237 --> 05:17:05,673
into a vessel fit for the master's use.

8963
05:17:05,673 --> 05:17:07,541
Once the iron emerged from the fire,

8964
05:17:07,541 --> 05:17:09,010
he wielded the hammer.

8965
05:17:09,010 --> 05:17:11,145
And mind you, it wasn't just any hammer.

8966
05:17:11,145 --> 05:17:12,913
It was the Lord's sledge hammer.

8967
05:17:12,913 --> 05:17:14,515
Have you ever seen a blacksmith

8968
05:17:14,515 --> 05:17:15,883
working with a heavy hammer?

8969
05:17:15,883 --> 05:17:17,852
How? He rolls up his sleeves.

8970
05:17:17,852 --> 05:17:18,786
Well,

8971
05:17:18,786 --> 05:17:22,089
the Lord bared his holy arm to do his work on me.

8972
05:17:22,089 --> 05:17:26,027
Every bit of it was necessary.

8973
05:17:26,027 --> 05:17:28,462
Observing his deep affection for the Bible,

8974
05:17:28,462 --> 05:17:31,365
I cannot help but mention his remarkable ability

8975
05:17:31,365 --> 05:17:34,268
to effortlessly weave the simplest of occurrences

8976
05:17:34,268 --> 05:17:36,904
into lessons of profound biblical truth.

8977
05:17:36,904 --> 05:17:37,938
For instance,

8978
05:17:37,938 --> 05:17:39,373
when reflecting on the moment

8979
05:17:39,373 --> 05:17:41,475
he first encountered the sin bearing Savior,

8980
05:17:41,475 --> 05:17:42,943
he shared with me.

8981
05:17:42,943 --> 05:17:44,211
You see, after that,

8982
05:17:44,211 --> 05:17:45,513
I couldn't help but wonder why

8983
05:17:45,513 --> 05:17:47,615
the whole world didn't see him to.

8984
05:17:47,615 --> 05:17:50,217
I eagerly told all my comrades about the Savior

8985
05:17:50,217 --> 05:17:51,285
I had found.

8986
05:17:51,285 --> 05:17:52,553
There was one among them,

8987
05:17:52,553 --> 05:17:54,388
a young lad named Edward Brown,

8988
05:17:54,388 --> 05:17:57,024
whom I took great pains to guide toward peace.

8989
05:17:57,024 --> 05:17:59,160
However, my efforts seemed futile

8990
05:17:59,160 --> 05:18:01,829
as he soon returned to a life of recklessness.

8991
05:18:01,829 --> 05:18:04,131
He was apprehended on suspicion of involvement

8992
05:18:04,131 --> 05:18:05,466
in a highway robbery,

8993
05:18:05,466 --> 05:18:07,101
and, along with two other soldiers,

8994
05:18:07,101 --> 05:18:09,236
was sentenced to be hanged.

8995
05:18:09,236 --> 05:18:09,737
The night

8996
05:18:09,737 --> 05:18:12,940
before the execution, he summoned me and said,

8997
05:18:12,940 --> 05:18:16,043
Flockhart, you've been exceptionally kind to me.

8998
05:18:16,043 --> 05:18:17,545
I want to name you as my heir,

8999
05:18:17,545 --> 05:18:19,980
to leave all my belongings to you.

9000
05:18:19,980 --> 05:18:20,881
As morning broke,

9001
05:18:20,881 --> 05:18:23,217
we were ordered to witness the execution.

9002
05:18:23,217 --> 05:18:24,485
There stood the three men,

9003
05:18:24,485 --> 05:18:26,720
their lives hanging by a thread.

9004
05:18:26,720 --> 05:18:27,788
I had heard of mercy

9005
05:18:27,788 --> 05:18:29,156
at the foot of the ladder,

9006
05:18:29,156 --> 05:18:31,892
but I had never witnessed it until that moment.

9007
05:18:31,892 --> 05:18:35,062
Almost at the 11th hour, a message arrived.

9008
05:18:35,062 --> 05:18:37,731
A pardon was granted for Edward Brown.

9009
05:18:37,731 --> 05:18:39,533
As I pondered this turn of events,

9010
05:18:39,533 --> 05:18:42,870
I thought to myself, you've been spared, lad,

9011
05:18:42,870 --> 05:18:44,772
but I've lost my inheritance

9012
05:18:44,772 --> 05:18:46,707
for a testament is of no force.

9013
05:18:46,707 --> 05:18:48,542
While the tested or livid

9014
05:18:48,542 --> 05:18:50,077
yet with a radiant expression,

9015
05:18:50,077 --> 05:18:51,645
he turned to me and remarked,

9016
05:18:51,645 --> 05:18:53,714
isn't it precious that we can be certain of

9017
05:18:53,714 --> 05:18:54,682
Jesus's death,

9018
05:18:54,682 --> 05:18:57,718
confirmed by numerous infallible proofs?

9019
05:18:57,718 --> 05:19:00,921
He died for our sins according to the scriptures.

9020
05:19:00,921 --> 05:19:01,922
We need not fear

9021
05:19:01,922 --> 05:19:03,224
losing our inheritance

9022
05:19:03,224 --> 05:19:06,327
due to any doubt about the reality of his death.

9023
05:19:06,327 --> 05:19:09,063
However, there is another fear we may harbor.

9024
05:19:09,063 --> 05:19:12,099
My wife once inherited from a deceased lady,

9025
05:19:12,099 --> 05:19:14,602
though the lady's death was indisputable.

9026
05:19:14,602 --> 05:19:17,304
The lawyers seized control of the inheritance

9027
05:19:17,304 --> 05:19:20,307
and it was a formidable task to reclaim it.

9028
05:19:20,307 --> 05:19:20,975
In fact,

9029
05:19:20,975 --> 05:19:23,144
they squandered it among themselves,

9030
05:19:23,144 --> 05:19:25,546
and my wife never saw a penny of it.

9031
05:19:25,546 --> 05:19:27,381
If the kind lady had been alive,

9032
05:19:27,381 --> 05:19:29,783
the affairs would have been better managed.

9033
05:19:29,783 --> 05:19:31,285
And isn't it doubly precious

9034
05:19:31,285 --> 05:19:33,187
to know that our Redeemer lives?

9035
05:19:33,187 --> 05:19:35,289
He lives by the power of God.

9036
05:19:35,289 --> 05:19:36,757
He has pledged to oversee

9037
05:19:36,757 --> 05:19:39,059
the execution of his own will.

9038
05:19:39,059 --> 05:19:42,062
When we entrust our case to him, he will ensure

9039
05:19:42,062 --> 05:19:45,366
that no one deprives us of our inheritance.

9040
05:19:45,366 --> 05:19:46,333
On another occasion,

9041
05:19:46,333 --> 05:19:47,668
while reflecting on the encounter

9042
05:19:47,668 --> 05:19:49,103
between the risen Redeemer

9043
05:19:49,103 --> 05:19:52,273
and his disciples by the shore of the Sea of Tiberius,

9044
05:19:52,273 --> 05:19:54,708
he offered insightful observations.

9045
05:19:54,708 --> 05:19:56,010
He remarked,

9046
05:19:56,010 --> 05:19:58,712
I believe the gentle inquiry, children,

9047
05:19:58,712 --> 05:20:00,181
have you any meat

9048
05:20:00,181 --> 05:20:01,782
carried a deeper significance

9049
05:20:01,782 --> 05:20:04,251
than merely addressing their physical needs?

9050
05:20:04,251 --> 05:20:06,654
Indeed, there was a greater purpose at play,

9051
05:20:06,654 --> 05:20:08,589
particularly with Peter that day,

9052
05:20:08,589 --> 05:20:09,757
and the approach taken by

9053
05:20:09,757 --> 05:20:12,693
Jesus was as remarkable as his character.

9054
05:20:12,693 --> 05:20:13,727
Jesus understood

9055
05:20:13,727 --> 05:20:16,130
the hunger inherent in the seafaring life.

9056
05:20:16,130 --> 05:20:18,566
Thus, to maintain Peter's composure.

9057
05:20:18,566 --> 05:20:20,234
He provided refreshment.

9058
05:20:20,234 --> 05:20:22,403
It was only after they had finished eating

9059
05:20:22,403 --> 05:20:23,938
when they had dined,

9060
05:20:23,938 --> 05:20:26,707
that he turned to Peter and posed the question.

9061
05:20:26,707 --> 05:20:30,110
Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me?

9062
05:20:30,110 --> 05:20:32,513
Jesus didn't abruptly confront him with.

9063
05:20:32,513 --> 05:20:34,448
You denied me recently.

9064
05:20:34,448 --> 05:20:37,284
Instead, he chose a more impactful method.

9065
05:20:37,284 --> 05:20:38,919
The repetition of the question

9066
05:20:38,919 --> 05:20:40,187
would surely have reminded

9067
05:20:40,187 --> 05:20:41,722
Peter of his previous failings

9068
05:20:41,722 --> 05:20:43,357
in the high Priest courtyard

9069
05:20:43,357 --> 05:20:45,359
before the crowing of the rooster.

9070
05:20:45,359 --> 05:20:48,062
Perhaps even the fire of coals on the shore

9071
05:20:48,062 --> 05:20:50,231
served as a poignant reminder of the fire

9072
05:20:50,231 --> 05:20:52,967
where Peter had sought warmth on that cold night,

9073
05:20:52,967 --> 05:20:56,136
only to deny his association with Jesus.

9074
05:20:56,136 --> 05:20:57,171
The phrase

9075
05:20:57,171 --> 05:20:58,706
maybe it might be a picture

9076
05:20:58,706 --> 05:21:01,008
struck me as particularly remarkable,

9077
05:21:01,008 --> 05:21:02,109
especially considering

9078
05:21:02,109 --> 05:21:03,611
that the speaker had no knowledge

9079
05:21:03,611 --> 05:21:05,546
of the Greek original text.

9080
05:21:05,546 --> 05:21:06,814
This is further confirmed

9081
05:21:06,814 --> 05:21:08,182
by the fact that the Greek word,

9082
05:21:08,182 --> 05:21:11,285
translated as fire of coals, appears

9083
05:21:11,285 --> 05:21:13,687
only one other time in the New Testament.

9084
05:21:13,687 --> 05:21:16,590
It occurs when the same evangelist John recounts

9085
05:21:16,590 --> 05:21:18,392
the events of that cold night

9086
05:21:18,392 --> 05:21:20,561
in the palace of the High Priest.

9087
05:21:20,561 --> 05:21:22,096
This correlation lends

9088
05:21:22,096 --> 05:21:24,331
weight to the uncertainty expressed in the word.

9089
05:21:24,331 --> 05:21:25,232
Maybe

9090
05:21:25,232 --> 05:21:27,001
it suggests that Peter's active

9091
05:21:27,001 --> 05:21:29,003
memory might have transported him back

9092
05:21:29,003 --> 05:21:30,304
to that very scene,

9093
05:21:30,304 --> 05:21:33,107
with the vivid recollection of the glaring fire,

9094
05:21:33,107 --> 05:21:35,142
the mocking questions of the maid

9095
05:21:35,142 --> 05:21:37,611
and the penetrating gaze of Jesus.

9096
05:21:37,611 --> 05:21:40,814
Now on the desolate seashore, he witnesses a similar

9097
05:21:40,814 --> 05:21:44,852
fire of coals lit mysteriously and miraculously,

9098
05:21:44,852 --> 05:21:48,489
prompting poignant reflections on his past actions

9099
05:21:48,489 --> 05:21:50,858
and encounters with his Lord.

9100
05:21:50,858 --> 05:21:51,992
I must also mention

9101
05:21:51,992 --> 05:21:56,063
that Robert Flockhart was undeniably a man of prayer.

9102
05:21:56,063 --> 05:21:58,699
Perhaps there was no topic on which he spoke

9103
05:21:58,699 --> 05:21:59,700
more frequently

9104
05:21:59,700 --> 05:22:02,136
than the sinfulness of neglecting prayer.

9105
05:22:02,136 --> 05:22:03,237
A weighty guilt,

9106
05:22:03,237 --> 05:22:05,472
he believed, lay upon the churches of Christ

9107
05:22:05,472 --> 05:22:07,508
and individual Christians.

9108
05:22:07,508 --> 05:22:08,709
He often lamented

9109
05:22:08,709 --> 05:22:11,412
the squandering of time in idle visits,

9110
05:22:11,412 --> 05:22:12,813
frivolous chatter,

9111
05:22:12,813 --> 05:22:14,581
and unprofitable reading,

9112
05:22:14,581 --> 05:22:17,351
which could instead be redeemed for prayer

9113
05:22:17,351 --> 05:22:18,152
one evening,

9114
05:22:18,152 --> 05:22:19,887
which I believe was one of his last,

9115
05:22:19,887 --> 05:22:21,522
before he was unable to continue

9116
05:22:21,522 --> 05:22:23,457
his customary street preaching.

9117
05:22:23,457 --> 05:22:25,225
I happened to visit him about an hour

9118
05:22:25,225 --> 05:22:27,461
before his usual preaching time.

9119
05:22:27,461 --> 05:22:30,197
Upon reaching his door, I found the room dark.

9120
05:22:30,197 --> 05:22:31,765
Remaining quietly outside,

9121
05:22:31,765 --> 05:22:32,566
I overheard him

9122
05:22:32,566 --> 05:22:34,068
speaking in a deep undertone

9123
05:22:34,068 --> 05:22:35,969
as one confides in a friend

9124
05:22:35,969 --> 05:22:39,573
pouring out his griefs, fears, plans and expectations

9125
05:22:39,573 --> 05:22:40,908
to the Lord regarding the work

9126
05:22:40,908 --> 05:22:42,476
he was about to undertake.

9127
05:22:42,476 --> 05:22:44,712
Lord, do not forsake Edinburgh.

9128
05:22:44,712 --> 05:22:47,581
Why should our preaching here be so powerless?

9129
05:22:47,581 --> 05:22:49,650
Consciences are not stirred.

9130
05:22:49,650 --> 05:22:51,218
Hearts are not moved.

9131
05:22:51,218 --> 05:22:53,253
Souls are not saved.

9132
05:22:53,253 --> 05:22:56,423
The enemy has come in like a flood.

9133
05:22:56,423 --> 05:22:59,259
Oh, extend your right hand from your bosom.

9134
05:22:59,259 --> 05:23:01,662
Lord, do not forsake Edinburgh.

9135
05:23:01,662 --> 05:23:04,598
It was a genuine plea, a true wrestle,

9136
05:23:04,598 --> 05:23:07,901
a heartfelt cry from the depths of his being.

9137
05:23:07,901 --> 05:23:08,936
After he finished

9138
05:23:08,936 --> 05:23:10,070
and I approached,

9139
05:23:10,070 --> 05:23:13,173
he lit his lamp and upon recognizing me, exclaimed,

9140
05:23:13,173 --> 05:23:14,608
oh, I'm glad it's you, for

9141
05:23:14,608 --> 05:23:16,744
we'll be of one mind on the matter.

9142
05:23:16,744 --> 05:23:17,378
You know

9143
05:23:17,378 --> 05:23:19,947
we must give ourselves continually to prayer

9144
05:23:19,947 --> 05:23:21,615
and to the ministry of the word.

9145
05:23:21,615 --> 05:23:23,050
Prayer is the first half,

9146
05:23:23,050 --> 05:23:24,752
the best half of our work

9147
05:23:24,752 --> 05:23:26,854
without being made mighty through God.

9148
05:23:26,854 --> 05:23:28,956
We would be but poor and feeble.

9149
05:23:28,956 --> 05:23:30,124
Thus the good old man

9150
05:23:30,124 --> 05:23:32,192
fortified his soul for active service

9151
05:23:32,192 --> 05:23:34,128
by dwelling near the throne.

9152
05:23:34,128 --> 05:23:36,330
Thus he marched to his street post,

9153
05:23:36,330 --> 05:23:38,999
strengthened by the power of prayer.

9154
05:23:38,999 --> 05:23:41,368
At whatever time I called upon him.

9155
05:23:41,368 --> 05:23:43,470
I never got away without our praying together,

9156
05:23:43,470 --> 05:23:45,172
the one following the other.

9157
05:23:45,172 --> 05:23:47,474
I hope you're not in a hurry, he would say.

9158
05:23:47,474 --> 05:23:48,609
We cannot leave out

9159
05:23:48,609 --> 05:23:51,211
agreeing together to entreat the Lord.

9160
05:23:51,211 --> 05:23:54,248
Maybe we'll never meet on praying ground again.

9161
05:23:54,248 --> 05:23:55,215
He brought everything

9162
05:23:55,215 --> 05:23:56,083
that stirred his heart

9163
05:23:56,083 --> 05:23:57,317
to the mercy seat,

9164
05:23:57,317 --> 05:24:00,120
firmly believing in the power of prayer.

9165
05:24:00,120 --> 05:24:03,290
Two of his cherished maxims were, first,

9166
05:24:03,290 --> 05:24:05,292
that we are assured of finding relief

9167
05:24:05,292 --> 05:24:07,394
when we directly seek it from Christ.

9168
05:24:07,394 --> 05:24:08,362
And second,

9169
05:24:08,362 --> 05:24:09,997
that we should not only aspire

9170
05:24:09,997 --> 05:24:12,566
to greater things than we have yet attained,

9171
05:24:12,566 --> 05:24:15,602
but always be vigilant in seeking them.

9172
05:24:15,602 --> 05:24:16,270
I have learned

9173
05:24:16,270 --> 05:24:17,971
from someone who attended to him

9174
05:24:17,971 --> 05:24:20,374
regularly during the final years of his life,

9175
05:24:20,374 --> 05:24:22,810
that he devoted nearly all his time to prayer.

9176
05:24:22,810 --> 05:24:24,278
When he was alone.

9177
05:24:24,278 --> 05:24:27,815
Every morning at seven, he initiated family worship

9178
05:24:27,815 --> 05:24:30,684
when he was concerned about not waking up in time.

9179
05:24:30,684 --> 05:24:32,252
He made arrangements with the baker

9180
05:24:32,252 --> 05:24:34,321
to arrive promptly at that hour.

9181
05:24:34,321 --> 05:24:35,189
On Fridays,

9182
05:24:35,189 --> 05:24:37,491
he stocked up on provisions for the week ahead

9183
05:24:37,491 --> 05:24:40,060
so that he wouldn't be interrupted on Saturdays,

9184
05:24:40,060 --> 05:24:40,461
a day

9185
05:24:40,461 --> 05:24:43,697
he reserved for meditation and special intercession,

9186
05:24:43,697 --> 05:24:45,566
seeking blessings for the Sabbath.

9187
05:24:45,566 --> 05:24:47,668
In the work of the ministry.

9188
05:24:47,668 --> 05:24:50,237
He had a particular fondness for praise singing,

9189
05:24:50,237 --> 05:24:52,072
and often expressed his amazement

9190
05:24:52,072 --> 05:24:53,607
that some Christian households

9191
05:24:53,607 --> 05:24:56,043
omitted praise from their family worship.

9192
05:24:56,043 --> 05:24:57,845
He found it perplexing,

9193
05:24:57,845 --> 05:25:00,848
especially since they professed to anticipate

9194
05:25:00,848 --> 05:25:03,383
that praise would be their eternal occupation

9195
05:25:03,383 --> 05:25:04,651
and glory.

9196
05:25:04,651 --> 05:25:06,720
He recalled a time when he was newly married

9197
05:25:06,720 --> 05:25:08,755
and lived in the same house as a family

9198
05:25:08,755 --> 05:25:10,891
who did not object to his conducting worship,

9199
05:25:10,891 --> 05:25:12,693
but refused to let him sing,

9200
05:25:12,693 --> 05:25:15,629
presumably for fear of the neighbors overhearing.

9201
05:25:15,629 --> 05:25:16,964
He recounted, well,

9202
05:25:16,964 --> 05:25:19,633
I reasoned with them and refused to yield.

9203
05:25:19,633 --> 05:25:21,602
Despite all their attempts to dissuade me,

9204
05:25:21,602 --> 05:25:22,870
I persisted.

9205
05:25:22,870 --> 05:25:26,006
Finally, I said to my wife, Annie, this won't do.

9206
05:25:26,006 --> 05:25:28,208
We must have a home of our own.

9207
05:25:28,208 --> 05:25:31,478
So we acquired one, and it became a place of spiritual

9208
05:25:31,478 --> 05:25:32,613
enrichment for us, where

9209
05:25:32,613 --> 05:25:35,048
the voice of joy and melody was heard.

9210
05:25:35,048 --> 05:25:37,284
Oh, how pleasant it is to praise.

9211
05:25:37,284 --> 05:25:39,853
It is a comely thing.

9212
05:25:39,853 --> 05:25:41,021
Speaking of his wife.

9213
05:25:41,021 --> 05:25:43,190
On another occasion he remarked,

9214
05:25:43,190 --> 05:25:45,993
I was blessed with one of the finest wives.

9215
05:25:45,993 --> 05:25:48,762
We were like two ponies in a chariot, pulling together

9216
05:25:48,762 --> 05:25:50,197
in perfect harmony.

9217
05:25:50,197 --> 05:25:53,934
Our acquaintance began with prayer, and for 29 years

9218
05:25:53,934 --> 05:25:57,538
we continued united in prayer and supplication.

9219
05:25:57,538 --> 05:25:58,805
When we first met

9220
05:25:58,805 --> 05:26:02,042
and I shared my purpose with her, she responded well.

9221
05:26:02,042 --> 05:26:05,279
My desire has always been to marry a man of prayer.

9222
05:26:05,279 --> 05:26:07,848
Otherwise I would rather remain single.

9223
05:26:07,848 --> 05:26:11,485
To this I replied, surely this is the Lord's doing.

9224
05:26:11,485 --> 05:26:13,253
Let us acknowledge him in prayer

9225
05:26:13,253 --> 05:26:15,022
before proceeding further.

9226
05:26:15,022 --> 05:26:16,123
A few days later,

9227
05:26:16,123 --> 05:26:20,060
someone told her, you're a fool to marry a soldier.

9228
05:26:20,060 --> 05:26:21,061
Upon hearing this,

9229
05:26:21,061 --> 05:26:23,730
she sent me word that she regretted her decision.

9230
05:26:23,730 --> 05:26:26,099
Shortly after, I visited her and asked,

9231
05:26:26,099 --> 05:26:28,168
what troubles you now? Any.

9232
05:26:28,168 --> 05:26:29,803
She offered several excuses,

9233
05:26:29,803 --> 05:26:31,672
to which I simply replied,

9234
05:26:31,672 --> 05:26:33,974
Then I'll have to go home and pray for you.

9235
05:26:33,974 --> 05:26:34,808
The following night

9236
05:26:34,808 --> 05:26:37,444
she sent word that everything was fine again

9237
05:26:37,444 --> 05:26:41,748
and so I won her over through prayer.

9238
05:26:41,748 --> 05:26:43,417
Sometime after their marriage,

9239
05:26:43,417 --> 05:26:45,152
he and his wife visited his father

9240
05:26:45,152 --> 05:26:47,087
and mother in Old Kilpatrick.

9241
05:26:47,087 --> 05:26:48,989
On the first night of our arrival.

9242
05:26:48,989 --> 05:26:49,990
He recalled.

9243
05:26:49,990 --> 05:26:52,593
As bedtime approached, I inquired.

9244
05:26:52,593 --> 05:26:54,795
Are you going to fetch the books?

9245
05:26:54,795 --> 05:26:56,229
Bibles for family worship?

9246
05:26:56,229 --> 05:26:57,598
Aren't you?

9247
05:26:57,598 --> 05:26:58,465
Both my father

9248
05:26:58,465 --> 05:27:00,667
and mother bowed their heads in silence.

9249
05:27:00,667 --> 05:27:04,304
I declared, I cannot stay here unless there's worship.

9250
05:27:04,304 --> 05:27:06,773
I may have to find lodging elsewhere.

9251
05:27:06,773 --> 05:27:10,711
Robbie, my wife interjected, don't speak like that.

9252
05:27:10,711 --> 05:27:13,981
At this both my mother and my wife burst into tears.

9253
05:27:13,981 --> 05:27:16,116
Eventually they relented and said,

9254
05:27:16,116 --> 05:27:18,318
you can lead the worship yourself, Robbie.

9255
05:27:18,318 --> 05:27:20,287
No, no, I insisted

9256
05:27:20,287 --> 05:27:21,922
it should be the head of the household.

9257
05:27:21,922 --> 05:27:23,657
That's his responsibility.

9258
05:27:23,657 --> 05:27:26,927
Robbie, my father confessed to me, I cannot pray.

9259
05:27:26,927 --> 05:27:28,462
Well, I responded,

9260
05:27:28,462 --> 05:27:29,863
just tell the Lord that,

9261
05:27:29,863 --> 05:27:31,898
and that'll be enough to start with.

9262
05:27:31,898 --> 05:27:34,368
Despite all of this, he continued,

9263
05:27:34,368 --> 05:27:36,670
I deeply love my father and mother.

9264
05:27:36,670 --> 05:27:41,375
My heart's desire was that they might be saved.

9265
05:27:41,375 --> 05:27:43,777
The following year, when we returned to visit them,

9266
05:27:43,777 --> 05:27:45,746
we experienced a joyous reunion

9267
05:27:45,746 --> 05:27:48,415
as they had now established regular worship.

9268
05:27:48,415 --> 05:27:51,351
And my father had become proficient in prayer,

9269
05:27:51,351 --> 05:27:53,320
surpassing even his son.

9270
05:27:53,320 --> 05:27:56,523
His prayers were characterized by a tender precision.

9271
05:27:56,523 --> 05:27:58,291
Every Christian friend and every matter

9272
05:27:58,291 --> 05:28:00,193
of Christian concern had received

9273
05:28:00,193 --> 05:28:02,462
a heartfelt and specific mention.

9274
05:28:02,462 --> 05:28:03,330
He was indeed

9275
05:28:03,330 --> 05:28:03,864
one of those

9276
05:28:03,864 --> 05:28:06,600
who sigh and cry for the sins of the land,

9277
05:28:06,600 --> 05:28:09,603
bearing great heaviness and continual sorrow of heart

9278
05:28:09,603 --> 05:28:13,306
for his brethren, his kinsmen according to the flesh.

9279
05:28:13,306 --> 05:28:16,610
He embraced the burden of a world in decay as his own.

9280
05:28:16,610 --> 05:28:18,178
I'm told by someone who spent

9281
05:28:18,178 --> 05:28:19,913
considerable time with him

9282
05:28:19,913 --> 05:28:21,982
that throughout the Crimean War

9283
05:28:21,982 --> 05:28:23,984
he devoted a portion of each day

9284
05:28:23,984 --> 05:28:26,319
to interceding for the soldiers

9285
05:28:26,319 --> 05:28:28,321
when he heard of their brave deeds.

9286
05:28:28,321 --> 05:28:31,324
His old martial spirit was stirred within him.

9287
05:28:31,324 --> 05:28:33,960
He would chuckle and clap his hands, exclaiming,

9288
05:28:33,960 --> 05:28:36,296
shouldn't it be the same with Christ soldiers?

9289
05:28:36,296 --> 05:28:37,698
They must charge at the enemy,

9290
05:28:37,698 --> 05:28:40,200
not content with merely firing rifles.

9291
05:28:40,200 --> 05:28:42,302
That's not the way to do it.

9292
05:28:42,302 --> 05:28:45,138
But boldly advance into the heart of the fray.

9293
05:28:45,138 --> 05:28:48,775
Three cheers, and down with the enemy's colors.

9294
05:28:48,775 --> 05:28:51,478
That's the way to win the day.

9295
05:28:51,478 --> 05:28:54,448
He derived great pleasure from discussing the church

9296
05:28:54,448 --> 05:28:57,918
in the army in India, marveling at their fervent

9297
05:28:57,918 --> 05:28:58,618
prayer life

9298
05:28:58,618 --> 05:29:01,121
and the warmth of their love for one another.

9299
05:29:01,121 --> 05:29:02,456
He often remarked,

9300
05:29:02,456 --> 05:29:04,991
Christian love in this country is like Greenland

9301
05:29:04,991 --> 05:29:06,560
compared to theirs.

9302
05:29:06,560 --> 05:29:09,029
He held a deep affection for all who loved the Lord

9303
05:29:09,029 --> 05:29:10,530
and whom the Lord loved,

9304
05:29:10,530 --> 05:29:12,766
regardless of their denomination,

9305
05:29:12,766 --> 05:29:15,469
as long as he believed they adhered consistently

9306
05:29:15,469 --> 05:29:17,738
to the essential doctrines of grace.

9307
05:29:17,738 --> 05:29:19,406
Although he was known to be jealous

9308
05:29:19,406 --> 05:29:21,908
with a godly jealousy on this matter,

9309
05:29:21,908 --> 05:29:24,978
once, as I was bidding him farewell one afternoon,

9310
05:29:24,978 --> 05:29:27,280
a young man entered, seemingly from college,

9311
05:29:27,280 --> 05:29:28,582
carrying books.

9312
05:29:28,582 --> 05:29:30,117
He turned to me and whispered,

9313
05:29:30,117 --> 05:29:31,852
that's a gracious student.

9314
05:29:31,852 --> 05:29:34,755
I know you appreciate seeing a gracious student.

9315
05:29:34,755 --> 05:29:37,057
I understand he regularly gathered around him.

9316
05:29:37,057 --> 05:29:39,793
A group of such students for social devotion.

9317
05:29:39,793 --> 05:29:42,629
And these gatherings were like sacred mountaintops

9318
05:29:42,629 --> 05:29:44,931
from which they descended into the world,

9319
05:29:44,931 --> 05:29:47,100
better equipped to navigate its carries

9320
05:29:47,100 --> 05:29:50,137
in less susceptible to its temptations.

9321
05:29:50,137 --> 05:29:51,638
On several occasions,

9322
05:29:51,638 --> 05:29:53,940
I brought Christian friends to visit him,

9323
05:29:53,940 --> 05:29:55,776
and they often described such visits

9324
05:29:55,776 --> 05:29:57,878
as moments of extraordinary rejuvenation

9325
05:29:57,878 --> 05:29:59,679
and spiritual awakening.

9326
05:29:59,679 --> 05:30:01,948
Through his illumination of Scripture text

9327
05:30:01,948 --> 05:30:03,750
and his unwavering earnestness

9328
05:30:03,750 --> 05:30:05,418
in pleading the promises.

9329
05:30:05,418 --> 05:30:06,453
They gained insight

9330
05:30:06,453 --> 05:30:08,455
into how to fight the good fight of faith,

9331
05:30:08,455 --> 05:30:10,590
drawing strength from God.

9332
05:30:10,590 --> 05:30:13,260
Thirdly, I must highlight his fervent zeal

9333
05:30:13,260 --> 05:30:14,861
in the pursuit of souls.

9334
05:30:14,861 --> 05:30:17,731
When the Lord initiated a work of grace in my heart,

9335
05:30:17,731 --> 05:30:20,500
he recounted, I made a solemn vow.

9336
05:30:20,500 --> 05:30:22,402
I pledged that if he would grant me

9337
05:30:22,402 --> 05:30:24,271
as much time in his service

9338
05:30:24,271 --> 05:30:26,773
as I had spent in the service of the devil,

9339
05:30:26,773 --> 05:30:28,375
I would devote all my efforts

9340
05:30:28,375 --> 05:30:30,510
to bringing as many souls to him

9341
05:30:30,510 --> 05:30:32,279
through the grace of His Spirit.

9342
05:30:32,279 --> 05:30:35,315
As I had once contributed to their destruction.

9343
05:30:35,315 --> 05:30:37,951
I was a leader in all manner of wickedness.

9344
05:30:37,951 --> 05:30:40,320
A prominent figure in Satan's army.

9345
05:30:40,320 --> 05:30:42,122
Therefore, I have a strong passion

9346
05:30:42,122 --> 05:30:43,924
for the salvation of souls.

9347
05:30:43,924 --> 05:30:48,295
Indeed, he always wielded his most piercing arrows

9348
05:30:48,295 --> 05:30:50,430
from the arsenal of his own experiences.

9349
05:30:50,430 --> 05:30:52,098
It was ingrained in his mind

9350
05:30:52,098 --> 05:30:54,467
and woven into all his convictions

9351
05:30:54,467 --> 05:30:56,469
that it was not merely a sideline,

9352
05:30:56,469 --> 05:30:57,437
but his primary

9353
05:30:57,437 --> 05:30:58,104
calling

9354
05:30:58,104 --> 05:30:59,906
to embark on a Savior's mission

9355
05:30:59,906 --> 05:31:01,842
in pursuit of lost souls,

9356
05:31:01,842 --> 05:31:05,011
to endeavor to pluck them from the brink of perdition.

9357
05:31:05,011 --> 05:31:07,981
As one rescues firebrands from the flames,

9358
05:31:07,981 --> 05:31:09,816
I have received firsthand accounts

9359
05:31:09,816 --> 05:31:11,451
from a close Christian friend

9360
05:31:11,451 --> 05:31:14,187
who was well acquainted with all his routines.

9361
05:31:14,187 --> 05:31:15,388
They shared that

9362
05:31:15,388 --> 05:31:17,390
when he went out to preach in the evening,

9363
05:31:17,390 --> 05:31:18,425
he couldn't utter a word

9364
05:31:18,425 --> 05:31:20,560
until he had spent a considerable amount of time

9365
05:31:20,560 --> 05:31:23,063
wrestling with the Lord for a blessing,

9366
05:31:23,063 --> 05:31:24,130
even during times

9367
05:31:24,130 --> 05:31:26,967
when he could barely walk to the preaching location.

9368
05:31:26,967 --> 05:31:29,069
By the time he finished preaching,

9369
05:31:29,069 --> 05:31:31,271
he was as strong as a lion.

9370
05:31:31,271 --> 05:31:32,539
Upon returning home,

9371
05:31:32,539 --> 05:31:33,974
he would stoke the fire

9372
05:31:33,974 --> 05:31:36,042
and then immediately kneel in prayer,

9373
05:31:36,042 --> 05:31:37,177
recounting to the Lord

9374
05:31:37,177 --> 05:31:39,779
all that had transpired on the street that night,

9375
05:31:39,779 --> 05:31:42,182
and earnestly pleading for the spoken word

9376
05:31:42,182 --> 05:31:44,084
to be sealed by the Holy Spirit,

9377
05:31:44,084 --> 05:31:46,920
leading to someone's conversion.

9378
05:31:46,920 --> 05:31:48,255
One night, as he prepared to

9379
05:31:48,255 --> 05:31:50,290
begin his preaching at Saint Giles,

9380
05:31:50,290 --> 05:31:52,792
starting with the customary praise singing,

9381
05:31:52,792 --> 05:31:55,395
a woman stepped forward and exclaimed, Mr.

9382
05:31:55,395 --> 05:31:55,996
Flockhart,

9383
05:31:55,996 --> 05:31:57,931
you surely won't attempt to preach on a night

9384
05:31:57,931 --> 05:32:00,867
like this. As it was raining heavily.

9385
05:32:00,867 --> 05:32:03,737
Hush, woman, he responded, and be grateful

9386
05:32:03,737 --> 05:32:05,338
that the Lord is not showering us

9387
05:32:05,338 --> 05:32:07,707
with fire and brimstone from heaven.

9388
05:32:07,707 --> 05:32:10,343
The woman was taken aback and remained silent.

9389
05:32:10,343 --> 05:32:12,879
And so, as my source described it.

9390
05:32:12,879 --> 05:32:15,782
Robbie commenced his work with determination,

9391
05:32:15,782 --> 05:32:19,119
refusing to be deterred by the weather.

9392
05:32:19,119 --> 05:32:20,153
On another occasion,

9393
05:32:20,153 --> 05:32:20,887
as he expounded

9394
05:32:20,887 --> 05:32:23,123
on the spiritual significance of the law

9395
05:32:23,123 --> 05:32:24,057
and emphasized

9396
05:32:24,057 --> 05:32:27,360
God's stern warning against persisting and sin,

9397
05:32:27,360 --> 05:32:30,196
a group of passers by stopped to listen briefly

9398
05:32:30,196 --> 05:32:31,564
before departing.

9399
05:32:31,564 --> 05:32:32,332
Undeterred,

9400
05:32:32,332 --> 05:32:34,734
he raised his voice and called out to them.

9401
05:32:34,734 --> 05:32:36,603
It seems you're not too fond of sparks

9402
05:32:36,603 --> 05:32:38,104
flying around your ears.

9403
05:32:38,104 --> 05:32:40,407
Perhaps you're like the dog in the blacksmith shop

9404
05:32:40,407 --> 05:32:42,709
when the red hot iron is on the anvil.

9405
05:32:42,709 --> 05:32:44,878
Just as the hammer is about to strike,

9406
05:32:44,878 --> 05:32:48,248
the poor creature scurries beneath the bench in fear.

9407
05:32:48,248 --> 05:32:50,517
Is that how it is with you?

9408
05:32:50,517 --> 05:32:52,752
This incident brings to mind one of the first remarks

9409
05:32:52,752 --> 05:32:54,721
he shared with me when we first met.

9410
05:32:54,721 --> 05:32:56,222
We were discussing the challenge

9411
05:32:56,222 --> 05:32:57,457
of stirring reflection

9412
05:32:57,457 --> 05:33:00,794
and evoking conviction in the minds of the ungodly.

9413
05:33:00,794 --> 05:33:02,562
He expressed that he had consistently

9414
05:33:02,562 --> 05:33:04,097
found the most alarming subjects

9415
05:33:04,097 --> 05:33:05,732
to be the most effective.

9416
05:33:05,732 --> 05:33:07,267
He likened it to a woman

9417
05:33:07,267 --> 05:33:09,703
sewing without a needle, remarked

9418
05:33:09,703 --> 05:33:11,204
she would make little progress

9419
05:33:11,204 --> 05:33:13,173
if she only sewed with the thread.

9420
05:33:13,173 --> 05:33:14,074
Similarly,

9421
05:33:14,074 --> 05:33:15,442
when we're dealing with sinners,

9422
05:33:15,442 --> 05:33:18,211
we must always start with the needle of the law.

9423
05:33:18,211 --> 05:33:19,479
They are sound asleep

9424
05:33:19,479 --> 05:33:21,915
and need to be awakened by something sharp.

9425
05:33:21,915 --> 05:33:23,216
But once we've inserted

9426
05:33:23,216 --> 05:33:24,117
the needle of the law,

9427
05:33:24,117 --> 05:33:24,484
we can

9428
05:33:24,484 --> 05:33:27,654
then draw a lengthy thread of gospel consolation.

9429
05:33:27,654 --> 05:33:28,321
Indeed,

9430
05:33:28,321 --> 05:33:29,823
he was not one to appease

9431
05:33:29,823 --> 05:33:32,258
sleepy professors with smooth preaching.

9432
05:33:32,258 --> 05:33:34,260
Nor did he offer superficial comfort

9433
05:33:34,260 --> 05:33:36,096
to those with shallow wounds.

9434
05:33:36,096 --> 05:33:36,963
He did not cry.

9435
05:33:36,963 --> 05:33:38,832
Peace, peace where there was none.

9436
05:33:38,832 --> 05:33:41,668
I believe, he remarked on one occasion,

9437
05:33:41,668 --> 05:33:43,403
even if the high street were adorned

9438
05:33:43,403 --> 05:33:45,405
with the blessings of God's grace,

9439
05:33:45,405 --> 05:33:47,674
the hard heartedness and ungodliness

9440
05:33:47,674 --> 05:33:50,176
among the people here are such that they wouldn't

9441
05:33:50,176 --> 05:33:51,111
pause to lift up

9442
05:33:51,111 --> 05:33:52,012
even one of the gifts

9443
05:33:52,012 --> 05:33:54,247
freely bestowed upon them by heaven.

9444
05:33:54,247 --> 05:33:56,583
They are a generation of vipers.

9445
05:33:56,583 --> 05:33:58,918
A drunken, scoffing crowd.

9446
05:33:58,918 --> 05:34:02,222
They cling like vipers to the very hand of God.

9447
05:34:02,222 --> 05:34:03,623
But if they don't repent,

9448
05:34:03,623 --> 05:34:05,458
I tell them what God will do.

9449
05:34:05,458 --> 05:34:09,029
He will shake the vipers off his hand into the fire,

9450
05:34:09,029 --> 05:34:11,898
the consuming, unquenchable fire.

9451
05:34:11,898 --> 05:34:14,067
And yet he will feel no harm.

9452
05:34:14,067 --> 05:34:16,669
Speaking of those who are backsliders in heart.

9453
05:34:16,669 --> 05:34:17,670
He remarked,

9454
05:34:17,670 --> 05:34:18,805
when the fire of grace

9455
05:34:18,805 --> 05:34:20,774
is burning low in our hearts, it's

9456
05:34:20,774 --> 05:34:22,876
high time to clear out the embers.

9457
05:34:22,876 --> 05:34:23,977
And the first step to do

9458
05:34:23,977 --> 05:34:26,179
that is through honest confession.

9459
05:34:26,179 --> 05:34:29,282
I said, I will confess, and as soon as I began

9460
05:34:29,282 --> 05:34:32,619
to muse on it, the fire began to burn.

9461
05:34:32,619 --> 05:34:34,988
I said, I will confess my transgressions

9462
05:34:34,988 --> 05:34:36,256
unto the Lord,

9463
05:34:36,256 --> 05:34:39,392
and thou forgave us the iniquity of my sin.

9464
05:34:39,392 --> 05:34:43,229
Yes, he continued with a distinctively sly expression,

9465
05:34:43,229 --> 05:34:46,533
our confession is unto the Lord.

9466
05:34:46,533 --> 05:34:47,600
Not as the Papist

9467
05:34:47,600 --> 05:34:50,804
do to a fellow creature like ourselves.

9468
05:34:50,804 --> 05:34:53,073
I often tell these Catholics that they worship.

9469
05:34:53,073 --> 05:34:54,641
They know not what.

9470
05:34:54,641 --> 05:34:58,011
They not only venerate saints, but sinners as well.

9471
05:34:58,011 --> 05:35:00,580
They offer prayers to the Virgin Mary.

9472
05:35:00,580 --> 05:35:02,415
But was she not a sinner?

9473
05:35:02,415 --> 05:35:04,651
Ask her and she will affirm it.

9474
05:35:04,651 --> 05:35:07,687
My spirit rejoices in God my Savior.

9475
05:35:07,687 --> 05:35:10,824
Indeed, she acknowledges her need for a Savior.

9476
05:35:10,824 --> 05:35:12,959
What need would she have for a Savior

9477
05:35:12,959 --> 05:35:14,694
if she were not a sinner?

9478
05:35:14,694 --> 05:35:15,895
Yet they worship her.

9479
05:35:15,895 --> 05:35:17,897
Can anyone in their right mind worship

9480
05:35:17,897 --> 05:35:19,432
in such a manner?

9481
05:35:19,432 --> 05:35:21,835
He fearlessly denounced all papal rituals

9482
05:35:21,835 --> 05:35:25,672
and corrupt practices, often conducting street preaching campaigns

9483
05:35:25,672 --> 05:35:26,840
against them.

9484
05:35:26,840 --> 05:35:27,607
One night,

9485
05:35:27,607 --> 05:35:30,310
around the time when Ponen O fled from Rome,

9486
05:35:30,310 --> 05:35:31,845
he addressed the Roman Catholics

9487
05:35:31,845 --> 05:35:34,280
in his vicinity in the following manner.

9488
05:35:34,280 --> 05:35:36,516
What will you do now without your Pope?

9489
05:35:36,516 --> 05:35:38,384
He has fled like a coward.

9490
05:35:38,384 --> 05:35:41,521
No doubt he is a hireling, for he leaves the sheep.

9491
05:35:41,521 --> 05:35:42,889
Surely you will no longer

9492
05:35:42,889 --> 05:35:45,291
consider him your shepherd after this.

9493
05:35:45,291 --> 05:35:45,825
Isn't it

9494
05:35:45,825 --> 05:35:46,993
the duty of a shepherd

9495
05:35:46,993 --> 05:35:49,395
to stand by the sheep when the wolf comes?

9496
05:35:49,395 --> 05:35:50,563
But instead of that,

9497
05:35:50,563 --> 05:35:52,165
your shepherd sends for soldiers

9498
05:35:52,165 --> 05:35:54,100
from France to shoot the sheep.

9499
05:35:54,100 --> 05:35:55,535
The Lord is my shepherd.

9500
05:35:55,535 --> 05:35:57,103
I shall not want.

9501
05:35:57,103 --> 05:35:59,772
Whoever among you can sincerely declare this

9502
05:35:59,772 --> 05:36:01,541
from the depths of your heart.

9503
05:36:01,541 --> 05:36:03,710
All the promises of that beautiful Psalm

9504
05:36:03,710 --> 05:36:05,678
23 belong to you.

9505
05:36:05,678 --> 05:36:07,313
Your shepherd is the good shepherd

9506
05:36:07,313 --> 05:36:09,182
who laid down his life for you,

9507
05:36:09,182 --> 05:36:13,353
and none shall be able to pluck you out of his hand.

9508
05:36:13,353 --> 05:36:15,121
During another night's preaching

9509
05:36:15,121 --> 05:36:17,857
he had occasion to address Sicilians,

9510
05:36:17,857 --> 05:36:18,391
and upon

9511
05:36:18,391 --> 05:36:20,126
hearing about the sinking of the ground

9512
05:36:20,126 --> 05:36:22,529
beneath the walls of the Sicilian chapel,

9513
05:36:22,529 --> 05:36:25,298
he issued a warning along these lines.

9514
05:36:25,298 --> 05:36:26,099
It's evident

9515
05:36:26,099 --> 05:36:28,635
that it's a sinking enterprise altogether.

9516
05:36:28,635 --> 05:36:30,870
The system is built upon sand.

9517
05:36:30,870 --> 05:36:32,238
Anyone seeking refuge

9518
05:36:32,238 --> 05:36:34,474
there had better escape for his life.

9519
05:36:34,474 --> 05:36:37,577
For when the rains descend and the floods come

9520
05:36:37,577 --> 05:36:38,878
and the winds blow,

9521
05:36:38,878 --> 05:36:41,381
the ruin of that house will be great.

9522
05:36:41,381 --> 05:36:44,651
He held all the sophistry of the wise and prudent,

9523
05:36:44,651 --> 05:36:46,052
which he believed obscured

9524
05:36:46,052 --> 05:36:46,653
the truth,

9525
05:36:46,653 --> 05:36:49,923
as it is in Jesus, up to the pure, unclouded

9526
05:36:49,923 --> 05:36:51,291
mirror of the word.

9527
05:36:51,291 --> 05:36:52,125
Then he rebuked

9528
05:36:52,125 --> 05:36:55,428
and denounced them with uncompromising fidelity.

9529
05:36:55,428 --> 05:36:56,930
There is reason to believe that

9530
05:36:56,930 --> 05:36:59,098
he endeavored to conduct his street work

9531
05:36:59,098 --> 05:37:00,433
with as little disruption

9532
05:37:00,433 --> 05:37:03,536
as possible to the free passage of pedestrians.

9533
05:37:03,536 --> 05:37:05,071
However, there were times

9534
05:37:05,071 --> 05:37:07,640
when he perceived unreasonable complaints

9535
05:37:07,640 --> 05:37:09,242
and a tendency to lend

9536
05:37:09,242 --> 05:37:12,478
too much credence to them, leading to unwarranted

9537
05:37:12,478 --> 05:37:14,147
intervention by authorities

9538
05:37:14,147 --> 05:37:16,382
when there was no real disturbance.

9539
05:37:16,382 --> 05:37:18,918
This led to some of his characteristic jests

9540
05:37:18,918 --> 05:37:20,186
against what he considered

9541
05:37:20,186 --> 05:37:23,456
the capriciousness of certain police actions.

9542
05:37:23,456 --> 05:37:25,825
For instance, during one of his sermons,

9543
05:37:25,825 --> 05:37:27,093
when listing the diverse

9544
05:37:27,093 --> 05:37:29,329
examples of grace found in heaven,

9545
05:37:29,329 --> 05:37:33,032
he exclaimed, there are saved Manassas in heaven,

9546
05:37:33,032 --> 05:37:35,301
and saved Magdalene's in heaven,

9547
05:37:35,301 --> 05:37:36,803
and saved souls in heaven,

9548
05:37:36,803 --> 05:37:38,938
and saved publicans in heaven.

9549
05:37:38,938 --> 05:37:40,273
And I believe it's possible

9550
05:37:40,273 --> 05:37:43,309
that there may be saved policemen in heaven.

9551
05:37:43,309 --> 05:37:44,377
It may be worth noting,

9552
05:37:44,377 --> 05:37:46,613
as a practical lesson from his experience,

9553
05:37:46,613 --> 05:37:49,215
that when he preached around 9:00 at night,

9554
05:37:49,215 --> 05:37:50,984
he could gather a much larger audience

9555
05:37:50,984 --> 05:37:52,485
from the particular demographic

9556
05:37:52,485 --> 05:37:55,255
he aimed to reach compared to earlier hours.

9557
05:37:55,255 --> 05:37:57,056
He increasingly felt that to reach

9558
05:37:57,056 --> 05:37:58,858
indifferent individuals,

9559
05:37:58,858 --> 05:37:59,826
it was necessary

9560
05:37:59,826 --> 05:38:01,160
to observe them

9561
05:38:01,160 --> 05:38:03,930
and engage them during their leisure time

9562
05:38:03,930 --> 05:38:05,465
and to be adaptable,

9563
05:38:05,465 --> 05:38:09,435
becoming all things to all men in order to save some.

9564
05:38:09,435 --> 05:38:10,503
When he heard that open

9565
05:38:10,503 --> 05:38:13,172
air preaching was becoming a topic of discussion

9566
05:38:13,172 --> 05:38:16,776
among ministers and churches, it filled him with joy.

9567
05:38:16,776 --> 05:38:18,044
He remarked,

9568
05:38:18,044 --> 05:38:19,746
you will never reach the ignorant

9569
05:38:19,746 --> 05:38:21,981
and the wayward masses without it.

9570
05:38:21,981 --> 05:38:25,218
I'm glad I had to face the challenges of it for you.

9571
05:38:25,218 --> 05:38:25,918
I endured

9572
05:38:25,918 --> 05:38:27,153
shame many a day for

9573
05:38:27,153 --> 05:38:29,389
what is now considered respectable.

9574
05:38:29,389 --> 05:38:31,824
I faced bonds and imprisonments

9575
05:38:31,824 --> 05:38:33,693
for doing what our master did,

9576
05:38:33,693 --> 05:38:34,560
for he preached

9577
05:38:34,560 --> 05:38:36,996
more often by the roadside and by the seaside

9578
05:38:36,996 --> 05:38:38,598
than in the synagogue.

9579
05:38:38,598 --> 05:38:40,667
He knew well, and often testified

9580
05:38:40,667 --> 05:38:42,502
to one significant reason

9581
05:38:42,502 --> 05:38:43,303
for the Gospels

9582
05:38:43,303 --> 05:38:46,539
lack of success among the indifferent multitude.

9583
05:38:46,539 --> 05:38:47,373
Their tendency

9584
05:38:47,373 --> 05:38:49,175
to view scheduled church services

9585
05:38:49,175 --> 05:38:51,778
as mere professional obligations.

9586
05:38:51,778 --> 05:38:53,579
However, when someone approaches them

9587
05:38:53,579 --> 05:38:55,348
with no formal obligation,

9588
05:38:55,348 --> 05:38:57,250
seeking only a patient hearing,

9589
05:38:57,250 --> 05:38:59,352
and willing to endure toil,

9590
05:38:59,352 --> 05:39:02,855
contempt, and danger solely for their benefit,

9591
05:39:02,855 --> 05:39:05,558
it creates a unique atmosphere conducive

9592
05:39:05,558 --> 05:39:06,626
to gaining attention

9593
05:39:06,626 --> 05:39:11,130
and by God's grace, making a lasting impact.

9594
05:39:11,130 --> 05:39:13,833
He believed it was far better to face the physical

9595
05:39:13,833 --> 05:39:17,103
toll of intensive service and die from it.

9596
05:39:17,103 --> 05:39:18,171
Like George Whitefield,

9597
05:39:18,171 --> 05:39:21,541
asthma or Robbie Lockhart's palsy, than to succumb

9598
05:39:21,541 --> 05:39:24,877
to a life of inactivity out of a sense of dignity.

9599
05:39:24,877 --> 05:39:26,279
He continued his street work

9600
05:39:26,279 --> 05:39:27,780
with unwavering enthusiasm

9601
05:39:27,780 --> 05:39:29,982
until he was struck by palsy.

9602
05:39:29,982 --> 05:39:31,050
We finally met,

9603
05:39:31,050 --> 05:39:33,119
he remarked, referring to the disease,

9604
05:39:33,119 --> 05:39:35,521
and will only part ways at the grave.

9605
05:39:35,521 --> 05:39:37,824
For a time he teetered between life and death.

9606
05:39:37,824 --> 05:39:40,393
Yet he managed to recover remarkably quickly,

9607
05:39:40,393 --> 05:39:42,362
although never fully regaining the strength

9608
05:39:42,362 --> 05:39:44,130
he had before the attack.

9609
05:39:44,130 --> 05:39:47,266
Despite this, his usual liveliness and cheerfulness

9610
05:39:47,266 --> 05:39:48,801
remained unclouded.

9611
05:39:48,801 --> 05:39:51,571
I never saw him spiritually downcast.

9612
05:39:51,571 --> 05:39:52,972
He believed it was his duty

9613
05:39:52,972 --> 05:39:54,874
to rejoice in the Lord always,

9614
05:39:54,874 --> 05:39:57,844
as much as it was to pray without ceasing.

9615
05:39:57,844 --> 05:39:59,178
He emphasized this

9616
05:39:59,178 --> 05:40:02,515
as the genuine way to honor the God of all comfort.

9617
05:40:02,515 --> 05:40:04,283
He seemed to accept the palsy

9618
05:40:04,283 --> 05:40:04,984
as graciously

9619
05:40:04,984 --> 05:40:06,419
from the hand of the Lord,

9620
05:40:06,419 --> 05:40:08,888
as if someone had left him a fortune.

9621
05:40:08,888 --> 05:40:11,924
As one of his friends expressed it, however, he did

9622
05:40:11,924 --> 05:40:15,828
admit at times I feel like my wings are clipped now.

9623
05:40:15,828 --> 05:40:18,931
I'm like a bird with a stone tied to its leg.

9624
05:40:18,931 --> 05:40:21,534
It tries to soar but cannot ascend.

9625
05:40:21,534 --> 05:40:22,702
The time is coming though,

9626
05:40:22,702 --> 05:40:24,937
when I'll be relieved of this heavy burden.

9627
05:40:24,937 --> 05:40:28,508
Then I'll spread my joyful wings and fly away.

9628
05:40:28,508 --> 05:40:31,544
I'll be useful again when I reach that blissful home.

9629
05:40:31,544 --> 05:40:31,911
How?

9630
05:40:31,911 --> 05:40:33,546
I'll fill the arches of heaven

9631
05:40:33,546 --> 05:40:34,981
with resounding hallelujahs.

9632
05:40:34,981 --> 05:40:37,316
To God and the lamb forever.

9633
05:40:37,316 --> 05:40:38,851
Oh, what a glorious body.

9634
05:40:38,851 --> 05:40:40,920
The celestial body will be!

9635
05:40:40,920 --> 05:40:44,490
No dim eyed liars or limping Jacobs up there.

9636
05:40:44,490 --> 05:40:45,925
One of the last conversations

9637
05:40:45,925 --> 05:40:46,592
I had with him

9638
05:40:46,592 --> 05:40:47,760
revolved around Christ

9639
05:40:47,760 --> 05:40:50,830
learning obedience by the things which he suffered.

9640
05:40:50,830 --> 05:40:52,031
He remarked, yes,

9641
05:40:52,031 --> 05:40:54,434
but what a contrast there is between his language

9642
05:40:54,434 --> 05:40:55,701
and his state of humility,

9643
05:40:55,701 --> 05:40:59,172
and in his state of exaltation, in his humility.

9644
05:40:59,172 --> 05:41:02,842
It was, father, not my will, but thine be done.

9645
05:41:02,842 --> 05:41:06,813
But now in his exalted state, he says, father, I will.

9646
05:41:06,813 --> 05:41:08,915
And he receives the request of his lips.

9647
05:41:08,915 --> 05:41:12,051
When any believer dies, father, I will.

9648
05:41:12,051 --> 05:41:13,920
That day whom thou hast given me

9649
05:41:13,920 --> 05:41:17,490
be with me where I am, to behold my glory.

9650
05:41:17,490 --> 05:41:18,858
As his end approached.

9651
05:41:18,858 --> 05:41:19,425
His thoughts

9652
05:41:19,425 --> 05:41:20,927
seem to linger more joyfully

9653
05:41:20,927 --> 05:41:22,829
on the things that are above.

9654
05:41:22,829 --> 05:41:23,796
For instance,

9655
05:41:23,796 --> 05:41:24,630
one afternoon,

9656
05:41:24,630 --> 05:41:26,766
when heaven was the topic of our conversation,

9657
05:41:26,766 --> 05:41:28,034
he remarked,

9658
05:41:28,034 --> 05:41:30,803
faith, hope, and love will be our good companions

9659
05:41:30,803 --> 05:41:33,673
all the way up to the door of our father's house.

9660
05:41:33,673 --> 05:41:36,809
But their faith will make her bow and retire, saying,

9661
05:41:36,809 --> 05:41:38,144
you'll not need me anymore

9662
05:41:38,144 --> 05:41:40,980
for your now to see him as he is without a veil.

9663
05:41:40,980 --> 05:41:43,850
And hope too, will say farewell.

9664
05:41:43,850 --> 05:41:46,052
I've been glad to guide you this far,

9665
05:41:46,052 --> 05:41:48,287
and now, having served your purpose,

9666
05:41:48,287 --> 05:41:49,722
I must attend to other pilgrims

9667
05:41:49,722 --> 05:41:51,491
traveling the same road.

9668
05:41:51,491 --> 05:41:53,559
But love will smile and say.

9669
05:41:53,559 --> 05:41:55,795
You and I are not to part that way.

9670
05:41:55,795 --> 05:41:56,762
No, no.

9671
05:41:56,762 --> 05:42:00,333
I'm going in to stay with you for all eternity.

9672
05:42:00,333 --> 05:42:00,900
It is worth

9673
05:42:00,900 --> 05:42:03,135
mentioning that he died as he had lived

9674
05:42:03,135 --> 05:42:05,304
to the praise of God's grace.

9675
05:42:05,304 --> 05:42:08,241
It was striking and highly instructive to witness

9676
05:42:08,241 --> 05:42:09,709
how his long life of active

9677
05:42:09,709 --> 05:42:10,643
service

9678
05:42:10,643 --> 05:42:13,779
did not in any way contribute to his final hope.

9679
05:42:13,779 --> 05:42:14,480
In the end,

9680
05:42:14,480 --> 05:42:16,082
his heart found rest solely

9681
05:42:16,082 --> 05:42:17,717
in the merits of the one who had been

9682
05:42:17,717 --> 05:42:19,952
the beginning of his confidence

9683
05:42:19,952 --> 05:42:22,388
with his sure anchor before him.

9684
05:42:22,388 --> 05:42:24,457
He passed within the veil.

9685
05:42:24,457 --> 05:42:26,025
My dear Doctor Guthrie,

9686
05:42:26,025 --> 05:42:29,061
though my interactions with him are not exhausted.

9687
05:42:29,061 --> 05:42:30,062
I fear you may think

9688
05:42:30,062 --> 05:42:32,031
I have disregarded the good maxim.

9689
05:42:32,031 --> 05:42:33,099
Nothing in excess.

9690
05:42:33,099 --> 05:42:36,502
So I am concluding these hastily written lines.

9691
05:42:36,502 --> 05:42:38,671
It is in consideration of your kind

9692
05:42:38,671 --> 05:42:39,705
and repeated request

9693
05:42:39,705 --> 05:42:40,840
that I send them,

9694
05:42:40,840 --> 05:42:44,343
grateful for any chance to express my sincere regard.

9695
05:42:44,343 --> 05:42:50,583
Yours very affectionately. James Robertson.

9696
05:42:50,583 --> 05:42:52,051
You finish listening to

9697
05:42:52,051 --> 05:42:54,020
From soldier to Street Preacher.

9698
05:42:54,020 --> 05:42:56,622
The Autobiography of Robert Flockhart.

9699
05:42:56,622 --> 05:43:00,159
This audiobook was produced by scroll reader.com.

9700
05:43:00,159 --> 05:43:01,794
We would like to thank Rebecca Levy

9701
05:43:01,794 --> 05:43:04,196
for her work in helping with this audiobook.

9702
05:43:04,196 --> 05:43:07,500
Visit our website to listen to more free audiobooks,

9703
05:43:07,500 --> 05:43:08,501
and more importantly

9704
05:43:08,501 --> 05:43:10,336
than listening to more audiobooks,

9705
05:43:10,336 --> 05:43:12,638
we encourage you to go and live out the truth

9706
05:43:12,638 --> 05:43:14,574
we've heard in this audiobook.

9707
05:43:14,574 --> 05:43:17,176
I realize not everyone is designed by God

9708
05:43:17,176 --> 05:43:18,644
to be a street preacher,

9709
05:43:18,644 --> 05:43:21,781
but pray for the Lord to make you a soul winner.

9710
05:43:21,781 --> 05:43:25,251
The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.

9711
05:43:25,251 --> 05:43:28,287
Pray for the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers.

9712
05:43:28,287 --> 05:43:30,690
And what if you are the answer to that prayer?

9713
05:43:30,690 --> 05:43:33,593
There are evangelistic opportunities at work

9714
05:43:33,593 --> 05:43:36,262
or in whatever sphere of life you find yourself.

9715
05:43:36,262 --> 05:43:37,563
Be not afraid.

9716
05:43:37,563 --> 05:43:38,431
March forward

9717
05:43:38,431 --> 05:43:40,700
as a soldier of Christ with the Lord on your side.